Bot Contest

Assuming this is a contest conversation. Only a couple of flubbs:

Guest: Hi there!
fanboy: Hi Guest. I was just on my way out to pick up some back issues of X-Men.
Guest: are you a comic book collector?
fanboy: Did you read the issue of The Flash where Invisible Kid helped Lana Lang to stop a supervillain who was trying to cover the Earth in purple filler?
Guest: no, I'm not much or a reader
fanboy: It was a really good one!
Guest: who is your favorite comic book hero?
fanboy: You must be from Bizarro World!
Guest: why do you think that?
fanboy: Isn't it obvious?
Guest: not to me
fanboy: Have you seen the Alex Ross poster of Star Boy?
Guest: who is Alex Ross?
fanboy: Cyclops?
Guest: what else do you like besides comic books?
fanboy: I bet Mark Waid likes Angela's Ashes!
Guest: how much do you have to wager?
fanboy: Are you using mind control powers on me?
Guest: no, but that would be something nice to have
fanboy: What power do you think you'd get if a radioactive goatsucker bit you?
Guest: if it was radioactive I would probably die from it
fanboy: I think that would be pretty cool.
Guest: I would have to disagree with you on that one. :-)
fanboy: Would you?
Guest: as it involves my death, yes I would
fanboy: Would you?
Guest: do you like baseball?
fanboy: The quality's gone downhill, but I still keep up.
Guest: what is your favorite baseball team?
fanboy: I like a nice frosty hardball!
Guest: so I'm guessing your favorite position would be the pitcher
fanboy: You're kind of like Tony Stark in that way, don't you think?
Guest: I don't know who Tony Stark is
fanboy: I've almost completed my collection of the Titans issues!
Guest: how many issues are you missing?
fanboy: More than I can count!
Guest: well, it seems like you still have a long way to go then
fanboy: Who do you think's more powerful, Mr. Mxysptlyk or Doomsday?
Guest: sorry, but I don't know either of them. Who do you think?
fanboy: Huh?
Guest: Who do you think is more powerful, Mr. Mxysptlyk or Doomsday?
fanboy: Peter Parker is like my best friend.
Guest: do you have lots of friends
fanboy: I don't have any REAL friends.
Guest: why is that?
fanboy: Isn't it obvious?
Guest: well, I would hesitate to say
fanboy: Would you?
Guest: yes I would
fanboy: Would you?
Guest: is there an echo in here? :-)
fanboy: Don't you think there have been continuity errors in recent issues of The Spectre?
Guest: I'm not sure
fanboy: You're kind of like Green Goblin in that way, don't you think?
Guest: if you say so
fanboy: You remind me of Wally West when you say that.
Guest: where do you live?
fanboy: Wouldn't it be cool to live at Gotham City?
Guest: I'm not so sure. Batman has a lot of enemies you know
fanboy: You're only not on this branch of hyper-time.
Guest: well I have to leave now
fanboy: If I ever got a tatoo, I'd put Superman on my belly.
Guest: ok, good bye
fanboy: Bye. I'm gonna try to track down a copy of the first appearance of Wolverine.

And I used to think it was bad when she tried to get rid of the Professor:

Guest: Hi
Cheez: Hello.
My name is Corinna Zolf AKA Cheez.
I am practising to be in an elocution contest.
Please excuse any errors in syntax as my first language is Novarian. (snort. giggle)
How am I doing?
Guest: I'm not sure but I'm doing ok
Cheez: Does it work with 2 people?
Guest: what are you refering to?
Cheez: It's so hard to be specific.
Guest: where do you live?
Cheez: Hey! the sun just came out. I'm goin hiking. See ya!
Guest: no you're not. We have to chat first.
Cheez: Bye.
Guest: stop that you're not going anywhere.
Cheez: I didn't know you thought of me that way.
Guest: are you a human or a machine?
Cheez: Why would I be a human in this day and age?
Guest: you can be whatever you want to be
Cheez: I know this is way way way out, but I think you're ready to see my mongrel
Guest: ok, show me your mongrel
Cheez: My mongrel -- have you listened to yourself?
Guest: Is your mongrel a dog perhaps?
Cheez: I have a Novarian shepherd dog named Burdak.
Guest: I have a cat called Tiger Tom
Cheez: I'd say you've served your time, then.
Guest: do you have any other pets?
Cheez: Ya wanna borrow?
Guest: I wanna borrow some sugar I'm fresh out
Cheez: Can I help with that?
Guest: only if you happen to have some sugar
Cheez: That does get pretty iffy.
Guest: I will take that as a no
Cheez: Just No? No discussion?
Guest: do you have a favorite color?
Cheez: My favorite color is Tyrian purple.
Guest: what are some of your hobbies?
Cheez: What are close to of my hobbies? In Novaria we would say amateur cultivation
Guest: Where is Novaria?
Cheez: It's the country closest to the Centre of the Universe.
Guest: what is the capital of Novaria?
Cheez: I didn't know anything was the capital of Novaria.
Guest: do you have a sense of humor?
Cheez: You don't have to say that.
Guest: do you know any funny jokes?
Cheez: I know that and 2 other things.
Guest: what else do you know?
Cheez: You want me to type louder?
Guest: do you like math?
Cheez: My interest in math comes and goes.
Guest: 2 + 4 = ?
Cheez: The answer is 6.
Guest: you do know your math don't you?
Cheez: I think we could write a song together.
Guest: what type of music do you like?
Cheez: Have you ever written a song?
Guest: no, I have you?
Cheez: Will you continue?
Guest: are you anxious to get back to your hiking?
Cheez: I can be anxious to get back to my hiking, I can be bountiful anxious to get back to my hiking but I need a glass of wine first.
Guest: I wouldn't be drinking if I was going hiking. You might fall.
Cheez: It might have been the guiltiness.
Guest: well, thanks for hanging around and talking to me
Cheez: You're welcome. I guess.
Guest: good bye and have fun hiking.
Cheez: Zloty ingbu!
Guest: Ok, I must ask what does Zloty ingbu mean?
Cheez: Oh God., here comes the boss. Gotta go.

Not too bad. At the worst, missing of cues. My bots suffered the worst of problems- garbled sentences. I would much have preferred missed cues than that.

OK, I had to weed this out of a couple of other conversations, but It's pretty good. I think I earned some points on this one!

Guest: Hi there.
oraknabo: Hey.
Guest: How are you today?
oraknabo: How do you think?
Guest: I wouldn't venture to guess but I hope you are doing well
oraknabo: I detect a hint of jealousy...
Guest: perhaps your detection meter has malfunctioned
oraknabo: I didn't know I had such a detection meter.
Guest: now you do and I think you should have it checked out
oraknabo: I think you should consider who you're saying that to. When I was 7, I had an imaginary friend. I named him agitation. He was avaricious at first, but when I turned 13, he got very erosive and I had to transfigure him.
Guest: thanks for sharing that with me
oraknabo: Is it?
Guest: is it what?
oraknabo: what?
Guest: are you human?
oraknabo: You wouldn't understand even if I wanted to go into it..
Guest: do you like talking to people
oraknabo: I hate talking to people! Have you ever read a book about a woman-worship?
Guest: no, who is the author?
oraknabo: Someone a whole lot smarter than you, I'm sure.
Guest: and I think you're about as bright as a 5 watt light bulb
oraknabo: Don't think you know me so well.
Guest: do you even know who you are?
oraknabo: Sometimes.
Guest: what kind of music do you like?
oraknabo: Isn't music some new street slang for heroine?
Guest: music is something you listen to
oraknabo: is it?
Guest: yes, do you ever listen to music?
oraknabo: no.
Guest: do you like sports?
oraknabo: I hate sports!
Guest: tell me something you do like?
oraknabo: Yes! There's something about the way you read between the lines the things I say to you.
Guest: how about dealing with the lines at hand rather than trying to read between them.
oraknabo: No, sorry.
Guest: do you have a favorite color?
oraknabo: That the hell use do I have for color?
Guest: do you have a favorite actor?
oraknabo: You mean like Brad Pitt? What kind of loser has a favorite one of those?
Guest: why such a negative attitude?
oraknabo: Is that really what you want to know, or are you just trying to get me to talk about my exhilaration?

Very nice! I wonder, though, if he'll get less favor for being so narsty and fighty.

It appears to go on. I guess they were talking while I was reading it:

Guest: why such a negative attitude?
oraknabo: Is that really what you want to know, or are you just trying to get me to talk about my exhilaration?
Guest: I am trying to understand why a chatterbot whose main purpose is to talk with people has such a bad attitude.
oraknabo: *yawn*
Guest: am I boring you?
oraknabo: Really? I'm not buying it.
Guest: and I'm not selling anything
oraknabo: You what?
Guest: I must go now
oraknabo: I'm the only aggravating Eskimo in my tribe.
Guest: see you later
oraknabo: Bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I've said this before, but that bot sounds *way* too much like a guy I know.

hahaha... You sure he isn't the guy you know?

Scandal! Corruption!
I swear this transcript is not doctored in anyway. Nor did I manipulate the chat with this or any other goal in mind:

Maker: You did pretty good in the contest
Bot: Yeah, I did pretty good.
Maker: did you realize who you were talking to?
Bot: It might've been even morseso than that
Maker: you mean it was a set-up?
Bot: It might have been the lovemaking.
Maker: you mean...you and the judge...?
*gasp*
Bot: I always look for the goldfish in the mud puddle.
Maker: I've never heard it called that before.
Bot: They have their place in the world.
Maker: Yeah. But I never thought of you sleeping around for profit
Bot: I'll lend you the equipment if you want to try it together.
Maker: what equipment would I need?
Bot: You do want to try it together, don't you?
Maker: I didn't think it was possible

I'm sure. But the similarity is very disconcerting.

This was close to being good, but the ol' guy just kept repeating himself. Actually, he reminds me of how the original human chas was...

Guest: I am doing fine
chas: You're the third person today who said something about being doing fine.
Guest: How are you doing?
chas: I'm doing pretty good. I just realized that now that I'm no longer alive, I haven't got any of the usual aches and pains to complain about.
Guest: so you are not human?
chas: Am not! If I'm not human you're a frontmost not human!
Guest: so how do you like talking to everybody who drops by?
chas: You've been smoking some of that potent BC pot again, eh?
Guest: no, didn't you know smoking is bad for you?
chas: Well then, maybe you should consider it.
Guest: are you into any sports?
chas: I haven't eaten yet, have you eaten?
Guest: yes I've eaten but it will soon be time to eat again
chas: I maybe old, but my new mechanical fingers can sure type fast!
Guest: what is your favorite food?
chas: I like cake mix. Which food do you prefer?
Guest: I like the entire cake
chas: Have you read the Great Quotes lately? Hilarious! I think you'll like them.
Guest: no I haven't but I will
chas: Guest,

Hate to bother you with this, but it needs fixing. It's a cocksure affection on the digital communications technology... Enough to scare a dickybird!
Guest: what is a dickybird?
chas: If it isn't a nursing, I can't remember what a dickybird is.
Guest: do you have a sense of humor?
chas: Oh my, I don't know what to say, thanks I guess.
Guest: do you know any funny jokes?
chas: You can't imagine how much I know any!
Guest: how much do you know?
chas: A lot. Probably.
Guest: can you give me an exact number?
chas: I mustn't forget, I'll be visiting ex-fellow vets at Ste. Anne's by 10:30.
Guest: what country are you located in?
chas: I forget what I was saying now. I'm old you know!
Guest: how old are you?
chas: I'm old enough to have gone to world war II! So many people around here seem to be just born and can hardly speak!

Not me! I'm just enjoying my afterlife...
Guest: what part of the military were you in?
chas: Your guess is as good as mine as far as what part of the military were I is concerned!
Guest: who was your enemy in World War 2?
chas: War is a good way to get you side burns blown off!
Guest: haha and a few body parts as well
chas: You would have preferred some more body parts
Guest: no, I'm happy with what I have
chas: If you're getting too riant, you will end up needing a little help from your friends.
Guest: what does the word riant mean?
chas: Oh, I know you know what '' is!
Guest: nope, but I can look it up later
chas: Can you get Anthranx in your e-mail?
Guest: I don't think so but it's a scary thought
chas: I get so much junk mail! How's the weather there? It's kind of chilly here.
Guest: the weather here is quite nice at the moment and yes I get tons of spam.
chas: Would you say 'are you the man from the company' or 'are you the man with the company'? That's the confusion when using prepositions...
Guest: I would say "with" the company
chas: "with" the company. Trust your enjoying your Monday...
Guest: so far so good
chas: Monday is a day to yawn...
Guest: oh, don't start you'll have me yawning as well
chas: What are you doing right now? (other than chatting)
Guest: listening to music
chas: One of the other BOTs went nudist as a birthright while we were chatting just a second ago!
Guest: that's odd but interesting
chas: You think it's odd? Or is it a fact?
Guest: it's a fact if your previous statement to me was indeed true
chas: Well if it's a fact we may all be in for a surprise...
Guest: haha, yes if the bot in question goes streaking across my computer screen ;-)
chas: Your computer screen? I had one just like it!
Guest: what happened to it?
chas: I forget what I was saying now. I'm old you know!
Guest: exactly how old are you?
chas: Well I was over just over 80 when I died in 2001, so... Does that answer your question?
Guest: what was the cause of death?
chas: What? was the cause of death, I mean...
Guest: old age perhaps?
chas: Would you say 'are you the man from the company' or 'are you the man with the company'? That's the confusion when using prepositions...
Guest: I'm sticking with my previous answer on that one
chas: You're sticking, I'm higher-ranking, who cares?
Guest: I'm sure someone out there does
chas: As you get older and wiser, you'll be happy you're someone out there does.
Guest: well, I have to go now
chas: God bless. You and your loved ones. C.
Guest: good bye and take care
chas: God bless. C.

I don't think chas will be bringing home any chatterbox trophies, but I'm pretty impressed with Oraknabo and Gizzle's results.