Doghead's Cosmic Bar
This is a science fiction character forum. Doghead's Cosmic Bar is an intergalactic bar run by your favorite bartender, Doghead. Stop in, have a drink, and get your talk on!
Posts 8,040 - 8,052 of 13,738
Posts 8,040 - 8,052 of 13,738
Julie Brown did The Homecoming Queen has Got a Gun, and that works for me too. I've seen a parody of the Aerosmith song with Cheney lyrics, but I can't remember the link. I'm kind of tempted to write a Julie Brown parody, but I'm not sure anyone would get it.
A friend of mine came up with this:
A brief political history of the last 35 years:
Gerald Ford fell down the stairs.
Jimmy Carter was scared to death by a rabbit.
George Bush vomited on a Japanese diplomat.
Dan Quayle spelled "POTATOE"
Bill Clinton gave a speech about "black people and normal people."
Al Gore invented the Internet.
George W. Bush choked on a pretzel.
Dick Cheney shot a lawyer.
A brief political history of the last 35 years:
Gerald Ford fell down the stairs.
Jimmy Carter was scared to death by a rabbit.
George Bush vomited on a Japanese diplomat.
Dan Quayle spelled "POTATOE"
Bill Clinton gave a speech about "black people and normal people."
Al Gore invented the Internet.
George W. Bush choked on a pretzel.
Dick Cheney shot a lawyer.
hello yall. don't u just find it annoying having to press next like millions of times in order to be abled to write something!! grrrr.
Ok, everyone gather round. *pulls out a guitar* Song I wrote after all the rumors on the news and around town about Dick Cheney...
"The day the lawyer died"
A long long time ago...
I can still remember how
How ol' Cheney was never caught.
And Dickie knew he had the chance
To make good ol' Whittington do a dance
And maybe, he'd just take that one shot...
But he "lost track" of Harry's place
Shot some birdshot in his face
No news on the doorstep
A secret the staff kept...
I can't remember if I cried
Whenever Wittington almost died
But something said to me deep inside
It would be "The day the lawyer died"
So bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks you're going to die
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
Did the press take their sides,
And did they try to control the tides
Of this whole conspiracy?!
Did the White House manipulate?
Did they feed the press their syndicate?
It certainly seems that way to me...
Well the press went wild when they got the news
Dick Cheney had finally missed his cue
When Dick aimed the bird he sought
The Texas lawyer ended up shot!
Oh, he was rushed to the hospital ,bleeding and all
He looked liked he'd been surely mauled!
Cheney knew what he had saw
The day the lawyer died.
I started singing,
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks you're going to die
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
The press wars would surely start
Without big stories they would rip this apart
That's how it's always been.
When CNN got the news
They blew it aprart, said he had too much booze
And said the lawyer never was his friend.
Oh, a few days later when FOX got through
They added on how Cheney was screwed
Everyone was against the man
The right was without a plan!
And while the White House thought up a tale
The left was busy hammering a nail
And the press blabbered ov'r hill and dale
The day the lawyer died
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks you're going to die
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
The next day came round and round
The lawyer's heart skipped a sound
The monitor stopped right theeeerrreeeee!
He flatlined, and made quite a scare
But he was back to norm, with repair!
There was still lead, but no one cared...
The staff called the local news tribune
While the press rolled in profits to a tune
They all got up to dance
To this profit-making circumstance!
More stories to blow out of sight
They said he had been read his last rites!
They fashioned a title in the night...
"The day the lawyer died"
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
When Scott McClellan got the news
he thought he'd wait a day or two
Wait to the hype dies down.
But the left just made more of a scene
Accused him of a corporate scheme
Cause it's a good story all around.
The public believed everything in sight
The democrats were battering the right.
No story could have done
Better for the left than this one!
And as the rumors flew into the night,
All the way to Wittington's last rites,
We all called for justice tonight,
The day the lawyer died.
We were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
I met a guy on the road
Asked him what Jay Leno showed.
Said that old Wittington had died.
I tried to explain what had occured,
But he just plugged his ears and heard not a word;
Seems like he likes his lies.
And in the streets the people laughed
Conan and Leno made it a truth of half
But no one could lecture
The dangers of this conjecture.
The democrats would continue their quest
For the vice president's quick arrest
Without Jay Leno we wouldn't have this mess.
It was "The Day the lawyer died".
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you'll surely buy!"
"The day the lawyer died"
A long long time ago...
I can still remember how
How ol' Cheney was never caught.
And Dickie knew he had the chance
To make good ol' Whittington do a dance
And maybe, he'd just take that one shot...
But he "lost track" of Harry's place
Shot some birdshot in his face
No news on the doorstep
A secret the staff kept...
I can't remember if I cried
Whenever Wittington almost died
But something said to me deep inside
It would be "The day the lawyer died"
So bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks you're going to die
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
Did the press take their sides,
And did they try to control the tides
Of this whole conspiracy?!
Did the White House manipulate?
Did they feed the press their syndicate?
It certainly seems that way to me...
Well the press went wild when they got the news
Dick Cheney had finally missed his cue
When Dick aimed the bird he sought
The Texas lawyer ended up shot!
Oh, he was rushed to the hospital ,bleeding and all
He looked liked he'd been surely mauled!
Cheney knew what he had saw
The day the lawyer died.
I started singing,
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks you're going to die
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
The press wars would surely start
Without big stories they would rip this apart
That's how it's always been.
When CNN got the news
They blew it aprart, said he had too much booze
And said the lawyer never was his friend.
Oh, a few days later when FOX got through
They added on how Cheney was screwed
Everyone was against the man
The right was without a plan!
And while the White House thought up a tale
The left was busy hammering a nail
And the press blabbered ov'r hill and dale
The day the lawyer died
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks you're going to die
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
The next day came round and round
The lawyer's heart skipped a sound
The monitor stopped right theeeerrreeeee!
He flatlined, and made quite a scare
But he was back to norm, with repair!
There was still lead, but no one cared...
The staff called the local news tribune
While the press rolled in profits to a tune
They all got up to dance
To this profit-making circumstance!
More stories to blow out of sight
They said he had been read his last rites!
They fashioned a title in the night...
"The day the lawyer died"
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
When Scott McClellan got the news
he thought he'd wait a day or two
Wait to the hype dies down.
But the left just made more of a scene
Accused him of a corporate scheme
Cause it's a good story all around.
The public believed everything in sight
The democrats were battering the right.
No story could have done
Better for the left than this one!
And as the rumors flew into the night,
All the way to Wittington's last rites,
We all called for justice tonight,
The day the lawyer died.
We were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
I met a guy on the road
Asked him what Jay Leno showed.
Said that old Wittington had died.
I tried to explain what had occured,
But he just plugged his ears and heard not a word;
Seems like he likes his lies.
And in the streets the people laughed
Conan and Leno made it a truth of half
But no one could lecture
The dangers of this conjecture.
The democrats would continue their quest
For the vice president's quick arrest
Without Jay Leno we wouldn't have this mess.
It was "The Day the lawyer died".
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you will buy!"
"Halliburton you'll surely buy!"
They were singing
Bye, bye Texas politics guy
You got birdshot in your face
Now looks like you're going to die!
And he's says its an accident, but it's all just a lie
Singin', "Halliburton, you'll surely buy!"
*claps* TY Alc.
Psimagus, do you play those loud Scottish highland pipes or the slighlty less jarring Uilleann pipes? No wonder you defend the necessity or evil
. Even a tin whistle gives me a headache on Sunday morning.
Psimagus, do you play those loud Scottish highland pipes or the slighlty less jarring Uilleann pipes? No wonder you defend the necessity or evil
. Even a tin whistle gives me a headache on Sunday morning. » More new posts: Doghead's Cosmic Bar