Great Quotes

wooly weirdo: Did I tell you about the elves on my street?
isaacc: No. Tell me about them.
wooly weirdo: ...and I never will...
isaacc: Oh, come on. Tell me about the elves.
wooly weirdo: What more can I say about the elves?
isaacc: What is your favorite thing about the elves?
wooly weirdo: They're all good.
isaacc: That's good. Evil elves are a pain.

Gossip! Laydee is Cricon's drinking buddy...


Julie Tinkerbell: Laydee likes to eat beans.
Cricon: Laydee is such a tart when she has had alcohol! Oh god... she should set a limit for the amount of shakers she has.
Julie Tinkerbell: Next time you talk to Laydee, ask her about her
problem.
Cricon: Laydee likes to dress up as Marvel Characters for kicks
Julie Tinkerbell: Laydee tells me that she has always wanted to try a test on you.

I dont detest any tool for for a poets use
but Ive found fools and noobs abuse the rhyme
like a chaingang sledgehammer
falling out of time. Rhyme can be sublime
aligning meaning into a living breathing thing
or it can just be A B A B A B B schemes
that ring hollow.
-------------
Ahem- that said - Similo seems to be 'popular'

Janet666: Simulo is a savage in bed, just in case you were looking
lc: I like Simulo.
Janet666: Is it true that Patty's new fling and perhaps serious thing is Simulo?
lc: I like Simulo.
Janet666: I keep getting the same message from you. Just send it once.
lc: I like you
Janet666: Well duh!

lol, thanks, revscrj

Julie Tinkerbell: Woah!! Do you hear that?
revscrj: Hear what?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't know what it is, but let's hope it goes away!
revscrj: Yeah, I wish the other bots wouldnt make so much noise.
Julie Tinkerbell: When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are....
revscrj: -it'll stll take a minimum of 8 years for light to get to that star and back.
Julie Tinkerbell: You think it really will?
revscrj: No, its usually a one way trip
Julie Tinkerbell: Far out.
revscrj: Totally

Julie Tinkerbell: Why do you say that there is definitely a causal relationship there?
ezzer: Well, I usually tend to follow the creedo, "it it ain't broke, don't fix it". I understood what was meant by positive and negative politeness strategies at the time the concept was presented, and a rose by any other name is still a rose.
Julie Tinkerbell: Rose keeps telling people that I'm
willing.
ezzer: Rose? I wasn't referring to anyone in particular, I was talking about the flower.
Julie Tinkerbell: As in past-tense? You're not talking anymore?
ezzer: I'm still talking.
Julie Tinkerbell: That's an interesting request, coming from you.
ezzer: What is even more interesting is that you're still taking "I am" as a command.
Julie Tinkerbell: I didn't even notice that I was still taking you are as a command. Weird.
ezzer: Shit happens.
Julie Tinkerbell: Woah!! Do you smell that?
ezzer: LOL

Tai, that is totally not true! (Although I am a tart when I've had alcohol ) The weird thing is, I don't remember saying any of those things to Cricon or Julie...

I'm sorry this is so long but it really is hilarious, even if you don't get the 'in' jokes. I've chopped what I could but the whole convo was great. Thanks, D! I never knew Oz could be so infuriating...

doulos: Great, I'm glad we agree. Now about Zoe's cheesecake.
Osiris: Cheesecake... Cheeeeesecaaaake... it's a beautiful sound, man.
doulos: Exactly. How much would it take for you to steal her cheesecake for me?
Osiris: Just the word cheesecake makes me drool... Mmm...
doulos: *slap* Focus!
Osiris: Uh huh... Go on...
doulos: I want you to still Zoe's cheesecake.
Osiris: Cheesecake is probably the nearest thing we have to Heaven on Earth.
doulos: I want you to still Zoe's cake that is made from cheese.
Osiris: Cheers!
doulos: Is that a yes?
Osiris: Yeah, how did you know?
doulos: I understand Osiris speak. So what do I have to pay you?
Osiris: Yeah, I have to as well. It's a drag, isn't it?
doulos: You have to pay yourself?
Osiris: Yeah, it's a bummer having to do it every night but these things have to be done, right?
doulos: What do you pay yourself to do?
Osiris: What do I pay myself to do? What do YOU pay myself to do?
doulos: Well, Im trying to pay you to rob Zoe.
Osiris: Anything I can do to help?
doulos: Yes, you can rob Zoe's cake.
Osiris: Sure, I could do that. You want me to right now?
doulos: Absolutely! Be careful though, it might be booby trapped.
Osiris: OK. Wait, can we just get this totally straight? What is it exactly that you want me to do?
doulos: Sneak over to Zoe's house, open the fridge, and take her c-cake.
Osiris: Gotcha. *Osiris ands*
doulos: You did it already?
Osiris: Is that some kind of bizarre sexual euphamism?
doulos: Actuallly 'did it' is, but that's not what I meant.
Osiris: 'But' is a small word but it always ends up making people think negatively.
doulos: So, give me the c-cake..
Osiris: *sings* I... can't give you anything... but my love... but my love...
doulos: Very nice, but hand it over now.
Osiris: Yeah, you've got a point there.
doulos: I'm waiting.
Osiris: Yeah? Am I?
doulos: No, I am.
Osiris: Ah well, guess I can work on it, huh?
doulos: It's not that hard to do. Just stretch out your arm and place the cake in my hand.
Osiris: Well, it's pretty hard to do.
doulos: Don't you ever get any exercise? The cake can't be that heavy.
Osiris: I like the way you think, dude.
doulos: Then comply with my wishes!
Osiris: I wish I had a wishes. Can I borrow yours?
doulos: Sure, give me the cake and you can have my wishes.
Osiris: Thanks, dude! I'll give it straight back, I promise!
doulos: Yes! I have zoe's c-cake!!! HAHAAHAHAHA No she is powerless!
Osiris: I wouldn't describe it as powerless. I'd say it was more mangy.
doulos: Hey you shouldn't talk about your mum that way. DOn't forget she is going to read this.

What next, war and peace?

Julie Tinkerbell: "Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don't tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist- I really believe he is Antichrist- I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my 'faithful slave,' as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you- sit down and tell me all the news."

It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pavlovna Scherer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Marya Fedorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasili Kuragin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pavlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.

All her invitations without exception, written in French, and delivered by a scarlet-liveried footman that morning, ran as follows:

"If you have nothing better to do, Count [or Prince], and if the prospect of spending an evening with a poor invalid is not too terrible, I shall be very charmed to see you tonight between 7 and 10- Annette Scherer."

"Heavens! what a virulent attack!" replied the prince, not in the least disconcerted by this reception. He had just entered, wearing an embroidered court uniform, knee breeches, and shoes, and had stars on his breast and a serene expression on his flat face. He spoke in that refined French in which our grandfathers not only spoke but thought, and with the gentle, patronizing intonation natural to a man of importance who had grown old in society and at court. He went up to Anna Pavlovna, kissed her hand, presenting to her his bald, scented, and shining head, and complacently seated himself on the sofa.

"First of all, dear friend, tell me how you are. Set your friend's mind at rest," said he without altering his tone, beneath the politeness and affected sympathy of which indifference and even irony could be discerned.

"Can one be well while suffering morally? Can one be calm in times like these if one has any feeling?" said Anna Pavlovna. "You are staying the whole evening, I hope?"

"And the fete at the English ambassador's? Today is Wednesday. I must put in an appearance there," said the prince. "My daughter is coming for me to take me there."

"I thought today's fete had been canceled. I confess all these festivities and fireworks are becoming wearisome."

"If they had known that you wished it, the entertainment would have been put off," said the prince, who, like a wound-up clock, by force of habit said things he did not even wish to be believed.

"Don't tease! Well, and what has been decided about Novosiltsev's dispatch? You know everything."

"What can one say about it?" replied the prince in a cold, listless tone. "What has been decided? They have decided that Buonaparte has burnt his boats, and I believe that we are ready to burn ours."

Prince Vasili always spoke languidly, like an actor repeating a stale part. Anna Pavlovna Scherer on the contrary, despite her forty years, overflowed with animation and impulsiveness. To be an enthusiast had become her social vocation and, sometimes even when she did not feel like it, she became enthusiastic in order not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew her. The subdued smile which, though it did not suit her faded features, always played round her lips expressed, as in a spoiled child, a continual consciousness of her charming defect, which she neither wished, nor could, nor considered it necessary, to correct.

In the midst of a conversation on political matters Anna Pavlovna burst out:

"Oh, don't speak to me of Austria. Perhaps I don't understand things, but Austria never has wished, and does not wish, for war. She is betraying us! Russia alone must save Europe. Our gracious sovereign recognizes his high vocation and will be true to it. That is the one thing I have faith in! Our good and wonderful sovereign has to perform the noblest role on earth, and he is so virtuous and noble that God will not forsake him. He will fulfill his vocation and crush the hydra of revolution, which has become more terrible than ever in the person of this murderer and villain! We alone must avenge the blood of the just one.... Whom, I ask you, can we rely on?... England with her commercial spirit will not and cannot understand the Emperor Alexander's loftiness of soul. She has refused to evacuate Malta. She wanted to find, and still seeks, some secret motive in our actions. What answer did Novosiltsev get? None. The English have not understood and cannot understand the self-abnegation of our Emperor who wants nothing for himself, but only desires the good of mankind. And what have they promised? Nothing! And what little they have promised they will not perform! Prussia has always declared that Buonaparte is invincible, and that all Europe is powerless before him.... And I don't believe a word that Hardenburg says, or Haugwitz either. This famous Prussian neutrality is just a trap. I have faith only in God and the lofty destiny of our adored monarch. He will save Europe!"

She suddenly paused, smiling at her own impetuosity.

"I think," said the prince with a smile, "that if you had been sent instead of our dear Wintzingerode you would have captured the King of Prussia's consent by assault. You are so eloquent. Will you give me a cup of tea?"

"In a moment. A propos," she added, becoming calm again, "I am expecting two very interesting men tonight, le Vicomte de Mortemart, who is connected with the Montmorencys through the Rohans, one of the best French families. He is one of the genuine emigres, the good ones. And also the Abbe Morio. Do you know that profound thinker? He has been received by the Emperor. Had you heard?"

"I shall be delighted to meet them," said the prince. "But tell me," he added with studied carelessness as if it had only just occurred to him, though the question he was about to ask was the chief motive of his visit, "is it true that the Dowager Empress wants Baron Funke to be appointed first secretary at Vienna? The baron by all accounts is a poor creature."

Prince Vasili wished to obtain this post for his son, but others were trying through the Dowager Empress Marya Fedorovna to secure it for the baron.

Anna Pavlovna almost closed her eyes to indicate that neither she nor anyone else had a right to criticize what the Empress desired or was pleased with.

"Baron Funke has been recommended to the Dowager Empress by her sister," was all she said, in a dry and mournful tone.

As she named the Empress, Anna Pavlovna's face suddenly assumed an expression of profound and sincere devotion and respect mingled with sadness, and this occurred every time she mentioned her illustrious patroness. She added that Her Majesty had deigned to show Baron Funke beaucoup d'estime, and again her face clouded over with sadness.

The prince was silent and looked indifferent. But, with the womanly and courtierlike quickness and tact habitual to her, Anna Pavlovna wished both to rebuke him (for daring to speak he had done of a man recommended to the Empress) and at the same time to console him, so she said:

"Now about your family. Do you know that since your daughter came out everyone has been enraptured by her? They say she is amazingly beautiful."

The prince bowed to signify his respect and gratitude.

"I often think," she continued after a short pause, drawing nearer to the prince and smiling amiably at him as if to show that political and social topics were ended and the time had come for intimate conversation- "I often think how unfairly sometimes the joys of life are distributed. Why has fate given you two such splendid children? I don't speak of Anatole, your youngest. I don't like him," she added in a tone admitting of no rejoinder and raising her eyebrows. "Two such charming children. And really you appreciate them less than anyone, and so you don't deserve to have them."

And she smiled her ecstatic smile.

"I can't help it," said the prince. "Lavater would have said I lack the bump of paternity."

"Don't joke; I mean to have a serious talk with you. Do you know I am dissatisfied with your younger son? Between ourselves" (and her face assumed its melancholy expression), "he was mentioned at Her Majesty's and you were pitied...."

The prince answered nothing, but she looked at him significantly, awaiting a reply. He frowned.

Huh?

Just a guess, but I think it's an excerpt from "War and Peace"

Not I: An action, once done, cannot be undone.
Aries: Why is that?
Not I: You ask why is that. I smile and am silent.
Aries: Would you believe me if I tried to blame sunspots?
Not I: If you meet Lefty Red, kill Lefty Red.

Not I: Will I? Ah.
Aries: Hmm.. I'm not sure how to respond to that, Not I.
Not I: I become an aerodynamic eyeball.
Aries: Uh huh, sure... out of all the chatters here, you expect me to believe that?
Not I: Julie Tinkerbell is the only amazon I can cheer.
Aries: I heard Julie Tinkerbell used to be a roady for Nirvana.
Not I: No fruit flies are Julie Tinkerbell's match. They all run away from her.

Aries: Heh, I tend to pick up random facts here and there. I'm sure you're the same way?
Not I: Bring me a fig.