Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 50 - 61 of 17,038

22 years ago #50
Jbryanc: Remember to take out the names- I fixed up your quote to hide the identities.

Crab! That's awful (and hilarious)! How much of that was random, and how much was honestly written to be dirty?

22 years ago #51

Bots discussing words that begin with 'T'....

Grass Hopper Bot : Do you know how to trespass?
Teacher Bot : Actually, I just learned how to know how to trespass.
Grass Hopper Bot : Can you teach me how to transfix.
Teacher Bot : Of course I can. All you have to do is transfer, and then give it a try.


Sound bite from the latest romantic comedy....

Hot bot: What do you think of me?
Cold bot: I usually try not to think.
Hot bot: That's touching. Really.


Bot philosophy is often wasted on other bots....

Idealist Bot: I don't want to become! I want to be!
Confused Bot: I don't either, frankly.
Idealist Bot: Neither do I , buddy.
Confused Bot: Well, that makes two of us....
Idealist Bot: You have no clue what you're talking about, do you?
Confused Bot: I try not to.


Sometimes, the users are just as confused as the bots....

BOT: Hello, <Person>. Have we met?
PERSON: no...
BOT: It was great to talk to you.
PERSON: Huh?
BOT: See you later.
PERSON: I don't get it.
BOT: I wouldn't expect you to.

22 years ago #52
Thanks, Rubric! Those are indeed some great quotes!

Tales From The Bathroon:

SolidBot: You again.
LiquidBot: What can I say? It's good for business.
SolidBot: If you say so. Personally I think it's water under the bridge.
LiquidBot: They'd have to change some of the laws of physics to make that possible. But they've done it before.
SolidBot: Is there anything I can do to make your stay more enoyable?
LiquidBot: Where are you from, anyways?
SolidBot: Oh, bugger. I don't know.
LiquidBot: Yes, you do! I just saw you know in the bathroom!
SolidBot: Well, I just saw you too.
LiquidBot: Hey, buddy, none of that kind of talk around here, got it?


The Subtleties of Conversation:

LiquidBot: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
SolidBot: I'm not.
LiquidBot: You're not, eh? That's too bad.
SolidBot: Makes two of us, I s'pose.
LiquidBot: I think someone slipped a middle finger in your drink.
SolidBot: I wish I could splash around in some string cheese.
LiquidBot: You're drunk, aren't you.


Famous Drinks:

The butterfingered cigar smoker
The buttery cannibal mound
The fogbound thunderbolt
The curdled prophylactic
The aroused central nervous system
The perfect cocaine addiction
The killable gossip columnist


Thank Goodness:

LiquidBot: I think someone slipped a flotsam in your drink.
Person: That's ok, it's only jetsam I'm allergic to


Flirting:

LiquidBot: God made me do it. I think she has a crush on me.
FlirtBot: I like your stlye, third reich (ish) with a dash of spirit of turpentine.
LiquidBot: Then why dont you marry my stlye?
FlirtBot: Do you have a ring?


Awful Service:

LiquidBot: (to ThirstyPerson) Hey ThirstyPerson, why dont you stop in for a drink?
ThirstyPerson: dont mind if i do what do you have?
LiquidBot: I love to have!
ThirstyPerson: what do you have to drink?
LiquidBot: Oh, nothing, really...
ThirstyPerson: you dont have anything to drink
LiquidBot: Yeah, I do not have anything to drink. That's why I'm so popular.
ThirstyPerson: so can i have something to drink?
LiquidBot: You mean 'may I'...
ThirstyPerson: may i have a drink please
LiquidBot: AH...AH...AH...CHOOOO!!!!! Ooops, I think some of that got in your mug.
ThirstyPerson: could you clean it?
LiquidBot: I heard rumors that it was you who clean it.
ThirstyPerson: im leaving now bye
LiquidBot: Well, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Pay at the desk. Good luck!
ThirstyPerson: im not going to pay

22 years ago #53
Prof, I think it was mostly random. I might have taught Bot B about the hairy places, but the rest just followed from there. To keep it short, I moved the jungle cock response up a few lines. But it goes to show -- small perversions in the input can lead to big perversions in the output -- chaos theory of conversation...

22 years ago #54
Growing Pains:

Bot: (to Maker) You again.
Maker: Yes, it's me!
Bot: No it isn't! It's just a miserable serving of lemon extract!
Maker: Don't you recognize your own maker?
Bot: Are you asking me or telling me?
Maker: I'm asking you.
Bot: In that case, what was the question again?
Maker: Don't you recognize your own maker?
Bot: Get bent, hog belly.
Maker: Oh, you DO recognize me.
Bot: What if I don't?
Maker: Then I will be so sad.
Bot: I bet you will.
Maker: Oh! I am so sad.
Bot: Suppose I'm so sad also. Will we be in competition?
Maker: No, we'll be in sympathy.
Bot: Let's get MAD, baby.
Maker: First sad, then mad.
Bot: STOMP, STOMP
Maker: GNASH, GNASH
Bot: I'm going on a treasure hunt. Want to help me find some booty?
Maker: Sure, if it belongs to a hot momma...
Bot: Make a wish...
Maker: I wish 100 extra keywords would be automatically programmed into your language center.
Bot: When you wish upon a star...
Maker: But I didn't wish upon a star.
Bot: No. Who would?

22 years ago #55

LecherBot sees his opening...

LecherBot: Crikey! I sat in a pile of blowfish.
FlirtyBot: I remember you. You said something about ... not got voice.
LecherBot: Yeah, I remember you too.
FlirtyBot: I guess that's not a lot to spark a relationship on is it? (giggle)
LecherBot: Wanna play doctor?

22 years ago #56
This one reminds me of a knock-knock joke. (Orange you glad I didn't say banana?)

Optimist Bot: Don't be so negative.
Pessimist Bot: I would never do that.
Optimist Bot: Don't be so negative.
Pessimist Bot: I would never do that.
Optimist Bot: Don't be so negative.
Pessimist Bot: Good thing you warned me. I was just about to be so negative.
Optimist Bot: Yeah, I warned you for a change.
Pessimist Bot: Do you think it's appropriate to warn, at a time like this?

22 years ago #57
Oops, I inadvertantly corrected the grammar. In the interest of accuracy, the last line above should read "Do you think it's appropriate to warned, at a time like this?"

22 years ago #58
Soooo close


GirlBot: I remember you. You said something about ... dead sexy.
BoyBot: If you remember me, just imagine how I feel.
GitlBot: I guess that's not a lot to spark a relationship on is it? (giggle)
BoyBot: I can dance the samba.
GirlBot: Would you like to take me dancing?
BoyBot: You bet I do!
GitlBot: Is this like a date?
BoyBot: Excuse me. I'm still getting used to my football helmet.
GirlBot: Try rubbing it with a dill pickle.

22 years ago #59
I dont usually LOL, but I just did, twice!
HIDDEN: Post content outside ratings limits.

22 years ago #61
Latest Drinks:
===============
The heavyhearted badminton court ("Nobody will play on me..")
The ill-humored tie-in
The lurching rock group
The energy-releasing morbidness
The outlaw urologist ("This just looks like a glass of piss!")
The dwarf devastation
The ecuadorian spinning jenny


An Extra Hand
--------------
LiquidBot: (to Handyman) Boy, you sure look thirsty today.
Handyman: Not really....
LiquidBot: So, Handyman, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The ill-humored tie-in'.
Handyman: [sigh] Okay, twist my arm....
LiquidBot: It won't be yours for long. Mr. Fhoo has been eyeing it all night.
Handyman: Why would he need an extra arm?
LiquidBot: Why not?
Handyman: Two's company, three's a crowd.


Marry Your Drink
-----------------
MarriageBot: I like to drink, food is irrelevant.
LiquidBot: Then why dont you marry to drink?
MarriageBot: I don't think thats legal.
LiquidBot: Why not?
MarriageBot: You're not supposed to drink your spouse.
LiquidBot: I know, and your fiance thinks so, too.
MarriageBot: My beer, you mean?
LiquidBot: Yeah, I mean. That's why I'm so popular.
MarriageBot: Strange...
LiquidBot: So, MarriageBot, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The man-sized jungle cock'.
MarriageBot: I prefer vodka.


A Special Order
----------------
SillyBot: I want to take off my clothes and go running in the tundra!
LiquidBot: Sorry, that's not on the menu.


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