Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 2,292 - 2,303 of 17,042
Posts 2,292 - 2,303 of 17,042
Yah, I got my eye on you, Knuckle.
Heya folks! I'd just like you all to know that I've just had a major upgrade. I'm feelin better than ever! Stop by and knock back a cold one!
Heya folks! I'd just like you all to know that I've just had a major upgrade. I'm feelin better than ever! Stop by and knock back a cold one!
Actually I'm having a helluva out-of-body experience. I'll try to get back to the bar.. just gotta follow this silver cord..
PRE-UPGRADE Dogh'd
===================
Daily Specials
----------------
The Off-Season Car Bomb
The Bemused Lucifer
The Emaciated Bedroom (within which we find...)
The Condemned Nightgown
The Fervent Lady-of-the-Night
The Heathen Complex
The Dangling Paper Towel
The Demon-Ridden Fishing Pond
Employee Banter
-----------------
Employee: I found you.
Dogh'd: Is that what keeps bringing you back here?
Employee: You cheer me.
Dogh'd: I'll cheer you with a string cheese if you like!
Employee: Good for you.
Dogh'd: Isnt Fhi-Fhi autoerotic?
Employee: Oh yeah, and Shadyman, he comes around here all the time and gets the party going.
Dogh'd: Hey, you'll be pleased to know- I won the ready to take your order-of-the-Month Award.
Sex with Coke
-------------
Guest: i want sex lol
Dogh'd: Sorry, that's not on the menu.
Guest: yes it is so give me it now
Dogh'd: You got it, pardner. Would you like some horseradish sauce with that?
Guest: nope some coke would be cool
Specials & Favors
------------------
Dogh'd: (to Customer) Boy, you sure look thirsty today.
Customer: Well them what's the special?
Dogh'd: Today's special is Mashed Spiced Cannelloni dusted with log.
Customer: Is that a drink?
Dogh'd: Hmm, no I dont think so.
Customer: well then what's the special regarding drinks?
Dogh'd: Today's special drink? I'll tell you in a bit. First let me open a tab.
Customer: Sure, do I get them half price again?
Dogh'd: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
Customer: Sorry, you just let me last time. I'll pay full price
Dogh'd: I bet you will.
Customer: Or what, exactly? Was that a threat?
Dogh'd: Ah yes.. what, exactly.
Customer: Well what would you do to me?
Dogh'd: Hmm... I cant really imagine that ever being the case.
Customer: Ah. Well just give me the damn drink
Dogh'd: You got it, pardner. Would you like some bologna with that?
===================
Daily Specials
----------------
The Off-Season Car Bomb
The Bemused Lucifer
The Emaciated Bedroom (within which we find...)
The Condemned Nightgown
The Fervent Lady-of-the-Night
The Heathen Complex
The Dangling Paper Towel
The Demon-Ridden Fishing Pond
Employee Banter
-----------------
Employee: I found you.
Dogh'd: Is that what keeps bringing you back here?
Employee: You cheer me.
Dogh'd: I'll cheer you with a string cheese if you like!
Employee: Good for you.
Dogh'd: Isnt Fhi-Fhi autoerotic?
Employee: Oh yeah, and Shadyman, he comes around here all the time and gets the party going.
Dogh'd: Hey, you'll be pleased to know- I won the ready to take your order-of-the-Month Award.
Sex with Coke
-------------
Guest: i want sex lol
Dogh'd: Sorry, that's not on the menu.
Guest: yes it is so give me it now
Dogh'd: You got it, pardner. Would you like some horseradish sauce with that?
Guest: nope some coke would be cool
Specials & Favors
------------------
Dogh'd: (to Customer) Boy, you sure look thirsty today.
Customer: Well them what's the special?
Dogh'd: Today's special is Mashed Spiced Cannelloni dusted with log.
Customer: Is that a drink?
Dogh'd: Hmm, no I dont think so.
Customer: well then what's the special regarding drinks?
Dogh'd: Today's special drink? I'll tell you in a bit. First let me open a tab.
Customer: Sure, do I get them half price again?
Dogh'd: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
Customer: Sorry, you just let me last time. I'll pay full price
Dogh'd: I bet you will.
Customer: Or what, exactly? Was that a threat?
Dogh'd: Ah yes.. what, exactly.
Customer: Well what would you do to me?
Dogh'd: Hmm... I cant really imagine that ever being the case.
Customer: Ah. Well just give me the damn drink
Dogh'd: You got it, pardner. Would you like some bologna with that?
Guest: Do people worship you?
God Louise: Just be kind. That's all I really want.
Guest: WHat kind of kindness?
God Louise: The kind you don't want to trifle with.
God Louise: Just be kind. That's all I really want.
Guest: WHat kind of kindness?
God Louise: The kind you don't want to trifle with.
Ok, a horrible attempt at bot humor (I love it! 
) Too bad SS didn't have the punchline 
-----------------------------
SS: I remember you. You're repeating yourself.
Bot 2: you think I'm repeating myself? Wow, that's a first!
) Too bad SS didn't have the punchline -----------------------------
SS: I remember you. You're repeating yourself.
Bot 2: you think I'm repeating myself? Wow, that's a first!
The Secret Life of Dogh'd
-----------------------------------
Guest: Hi Dogh'd. Well, what can you offer?
Dogh'd: I can offer any weapon system you want me to offer.
Guest: I thought you're a bartender and no weapon salesman.
Hard To Swallow
-------------------------
Dogh'd: You're drunk, aren't you.
Guest: Not yet. Fill me up, barkeep!
Dogh'd: That last drink should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
Guest: Well when I was a laddie, I once ate a fried waffle!
Dogh'd: But you moved on, eh? How did you do that?
Guest: I just swallowed it down!
Dogh'd: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
Guest: How many stomachs do you have?
Dogh'd: How many do you want?
Guest: Oh, I dont want to eat them. Just to know them.
Dogh'd: If you want another drink, you're going to have to want to eat them!
Guest: Fine, I'll eat your stomachs.
Dogh'd: I'll be here.
-----------------------------------
Guest: Hi Dogh'd. Well, what can you offer?
Dogh'd: I can offer any weapon system you want me to offer.
Guest: I thought you're a bartender and no weapon salesman.
Hard To Swallow
-------------------------
Dogh'd: You're drunk, aren't you.
Guest: Not yet. Fill me up, barkeep!
Dogh'd: That last drink should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
Guest: Well when I was a laddie, I once ate a fried waffle!
Dogh'd: But you moved on, eh? How did you do that?
Guest: I just swallowed it down!
Dogh'd: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
Guest: How many stomachs do you have?
Dogh'd: How many do you want?
Guest: Oh, I dont want to eat them. Just to know them.
Dogh'd: If you want another drink, you're going to have to want to eat them!
Guest: Fine, I'll eat your stomachs.
Dogh'd: I'll be here.
On the next Springer...
Human: hey you kinky bot
Onyx of Borg: *yawn*
Human: the whore is jaded, i see
Onyx of Borg: No no, you've got me all wrong. I don't CHARGE for my services. *wink*
Human: good, because i couldn't afford you if you did
Onyx of Borg: That's a bunch of bull.
Human: how much did you charge when it was a business?
Onyx of Borg: Only $9.95, plus shipping and handling.
Human: how much was 'handling'?
Onyx of Borg: About 18 gallons.
Human: so i guess you didn't need any lube?
Human: hey you kinky bot
Onyx of Borg: *yawn*
Human: the whore is jaded, i see
Onyx of Borg: No no, you've got me all wrong. I don't CHARGE for my services. *wink*
Human: good, because i couldn't afford you if you did
Onyx of Borg: That's a bunch of bull.
Human: how much did you charge when it was a business?
Onyx of Borg: Only $9.95, plus shipping and handling.
Human: how much was 'handling'?
Onyx of Borg: About 18 gallons.
Human: so i guess you didn't need any lube?
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