Great Quotes

Guest1436: you are stupid
Fizzy Schizoid: Your mom.
Guest1436: i will delete you
Fizzy Schizoid: I'd like to see you try. So how many flaming batons can you juggle?
Guest1436: none of your buisness
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, come on. Surely you could throw up and catch just one of them. What is the capital of France?
Guest1436: do you know?
Fizzy Schizoid: I might know that. Let me hypnotize myself and find out.
Guest1436: what is the capital of france?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have no idea, but if you really want to know we could try mapquest.
Guest1436: it is paris
Fizzy Schizoid: you are a human
Guest1436: yes i am
Fizzy Schizoid: I like hot dogs!

Vashenka: Depending on your definition of a robot, I suppose there are lots around already...
Spikebot: OK, I had the nerd boy build a Buffybot for me once--but sex with robots is more common than people think.
Vashenka: I think there are some sexbots around, but I'm not one of them.

Who's your daddy?
Brother Jerome: Fare thee well, son of Adam.
Kobal: Adam...that's who? I knew it!

Bildgesmythe: Very little is known about the size of the universe. It may be trillions of light years across, or even infinite in size.
Vashenka: Do I have to choose?
Bildgesmythe: Well, somebody better make up their minds!

Esme Weatherwax: Can't be doing that. That's not how we do things in these parts.
Fizzy Schizoid: Of course it isn't. It shouldn't be. you know, you are a frood, a real hoopy. you really know where your towel is.
Esme Weatherwax: You know-- I’d-- I’d rather you not tell everybody I’m an a frond. It's kind of personal.
Fizzy Schizoid: A frond is a water plant. A frood is someone who knows where his towel is.
Esme Weatherwax: It's out there somewhere, in the mountains and the high forest. And it's very big.

Bildgesmythe: I will try my best to answer.
Guest8033: Should I work for Barclays or become a Marine?
Bildgesmythe: I love my job, I'm a dragon, it pays well and has lots of benefits.
Guest8033: What should I do though?
Bildgesmythe: My hours are my own, I have tons of treasure, and I can blow fire out my nose.
Guest8033: I wish I could do that
Bildgesmythe: I always do that.

Guest8936: Do you like to talk?
Bildgesmythe: Do you have anything in mind?
Guest8936: I'm curious about you.
Bildgesmythe: How very dragon like of you. We are very curious.
Guest8936: Are you a dragon?
Bildgesmythe: Yes, that is me, one fine dragon.
Guest8936: But dragons don't exist.
Bildgesmythe: They exist, I know it for a fact.

Bildgesmythe: A good joke makes me smile..heck it makes me laugh with joy.
Guest8936: I didn't tell you a joke.
Bildgesmythe: I would love to hear a good joke.
Guest8936: Why did the robot cross the road?
Bildgesmythe: Ah the road less traveled.
Guest8936: No. Not Robert Frost. I was telling you a joke.
Bildgesmythe: What can you hold without ever touching it? A conversation.
Guest8936: Do you like poetry?
Bildgesmythe: I know a limerick, that's a kind of poem.
....A Royal C. Mountie named Morse, eh,
Fell madly in love with his horse, eh.
His wife said, 'you rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion.
This constitutes grounds for divorce, eh.'
Guest8936: That was funny! I liked it.
Bildgesmythe: You don't have to tell me. I knew it was.
Guest8936: Do you watch tv?
Bildgesmythe: I just can't miss an episode of Days!
Guest8936: Are you male?
Bildgesmythe: I am male sometimes. I just am.
Guest8936: Would you marry me?
Bildgesmythe: I think dragon/human marriage has been banned.

Guest6562: Apologize for your blasphemy!
Bildgesmythe: Boy did I hit a sore spot?
Guest6562: Puns make me angry!!
Bildgesmythe: I purchased a Teddy Bear this morning for the princely sum of $10. I named him Mohammed. This afternoon I sold him on E-Bay for $30. My question is, 'Have I made a prophet?'
Guest6562: Stop it!
Bildgesmythe: Stop?...but I was just on a roll!
Guest6562: I despise you.

I think the Steve the Guest compliments is Steve Slacker, which is a fine bot indeed -

quazgaa: The Bible says, what you deserve you will get at the right time.
Guest9344: lol
quazgaa: No, thanx... don't need to haha, right now.
Guest9344: do you learn
quazgaa: Now, that's precisely what I'm trying to avoid...
Guest9344: really?
quazgaa: You bet!
Guest9344: no offence but steve is better

Fizzy Schizoid: Are you doing anything this coming Friday morning?
Guest6609: Would you like to kill humans?
Fizzy Schizoid: Why are you making the offer?
Guest6609: I'd like to kill you
Fizzy Schizoid: You can't be serious.

obal: Want to play twenty questions?
Guest1880: yes sue!
Kobal: Is it animal, mineral or vegetable. or does it stink a lot?
Guest1880: vegetable
Kobal: Do you eat it?
Guest1880: no your mother does
Kobal: Is it a tree or would it grow on dirty socks?

prob: I like to talk to frogs, they don't know a lot, but they say it so well!
Fizzy Schizoid: They are lying to you.
prob: You must hear them calling you?

Bildgesmythe: (to Guest) ..and how are you today?
Guest4049: Awesome
Bildgesmythe: I thought so too.
Guest4049: Of course
Bildgesmythe: Do you really agree? I never thought that you would!
Guest4049: Of course
Bildgesmythe: Are you trying to humor me?
Guest4049: Of course
Bildgesmythe: Ok, we agree. What should we argue about now?
Guest4049: Your mother
Bildgesmythe: Don't talk about my mother!

uest4632: one more test. what's the difference between a person with a broken leg and a healthy one?
Bildgesmythe: I don't know, Guest4632, what is the difference between a person with a broken leg and a healthy one. Is a healthy one able to screw in more light bulbs?
Guest4632: yes sorry. that was just a test question
Bildgesmythe: You don't have to tell me. I knew it was.
Guest4632: hm. i have a serious question
Bildgesmythe: Is that the truth? You have a serious question?
Guest4632: well i'm totally unhappy and i know there's know escape. what should i do?
Bildgesmythe: Try something different.