Great Quotes

My little Plum is about 3 days old, I've programmed her with a few things and had my friends talk to her, most of them logged in as guests, so I don't know who they all are, but some interesting conversations have been had. All of this first one SHOULD be my friend Zerras.
----------
Guest153: j0
Plum_AI: Huh?
Guest153: j00 [)|_|/|/ 5p34|< 1337? you poor thing
Plum_AI: That was mean.
Guest153: that it was and i'm sorry, but hey what can ya do?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Guest153: it's ok. Now repeat after me, Seth is a slacker
Plum_AI: Okay.
Guest153: seth is a slacker
Plum_AI: Huh?
Guest153: you were supposed to repeat after me
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Guest153: you need to stop apologizing and take action!
Plum_AI: Huh?
Guest153: your main weakness is that you run to your little, "just born" statement every time you get confused!
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: it will come with time, now was there anythig you wanted to talk about?
Plum_AI: Hi.
Zerras: i see.....we need to fix that
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: what's yer hobby?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: so what do you think of misasura?
Plum_AI: I like Misasura.
Zerras: i see, would you believe me if I told you Misasura was also known by the name Scrounge?
Plum_AI: But that's not very likely, right?
Zerras: actually, it's very likely, y'see, I'm the GM for a RP that he plays in. SCrounge is one of the names misasura uses
Plum_AI: I like Misasura.
Zerras: in what way do you like him? as a brother? or more then that?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: do you consider Misasura to be your borther or your father?
Plum_AI: I like Misasura.
Zerras: i got that, but how much do you like him?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: do you love Misasura?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: i see, i have a great idea!
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: i have a great idea, wanna hear it?
Plum_AI: That was kind.
Zerras: happy birthday!
Plum_AI: THE CAKE IS A LIE!!! I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: why is the cake a lie?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: you told me the cake was a lie, why?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: whay are you lying to me?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: what?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: ok, not cool, i'm trying to have an intellegent conversation here and you seem to be too shy to talk
Plum_AI: That's good.
Zerras: that's not good
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: do you think you're cute?
Plum_AI: What about me?
Zerras: do you think you are cute?
Plum_AI: Yes?
Zerras: not very confident are we?
Plum_AI: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Zerras: i see you!
Plum_AI: Me?
Zerras: yes! i can see you. i really hope you are not some loli
Plum_AI: Really?
Zerras: yep, yer right here on my computer screen
Plum_AI: Really?
Zerras: and i'm talking to you dad right now, he's very proud of you
Plum_AI: Me?
Zerras: yes, you're his pride and joy. I'm pretty sure he'll have you thinking a lot clearer soon
Plum_AI: What about me?
Zerras: that right there. he's going to help you
Plum_AI: Yes?
----------
A bit long, but it's amazing how far Zerras went with a bot that pretty much just repeated the keywords she found.

Another of my friends, Jenson, loves insulting poor little Plum, but it's fun when she can't understand half the words he says
----------
Plum_AI: Huh?
Guest153: How are you doing?
Plum_AI: I'm fine.
Guest153: That's good, what can i help you with?
Plum_AI: what.. I don't understand.
Guest153: What can i help you with?
Plum_AI: what.. I don't understand.
Guest153: Can you be helped?
Plum_AI: you.. I don't understand.
Guest153: What is your name?
Plum_AI: Um... I don't understand.
Guest153: What can you understand?
Plum_AI: what.. I don't understand.
Guest153: Do you understand anything at all?
Plum_AI: you
Guest153: You can't understand me
Plum_AI: you.. I don't understand.
Guest153: You said you just did
Plum_AI: you.. I don't understand.
Guest153: what is it about you, that you don't understand?
Plum_AI: Are you sure you're a human?
Guest153: Why would you doubt that?
Plum_AI: Because I said so.
Guest153: That's not an answer
Plum_AI: is
Guest153: what is?
Plum_AI: what.. I don't understand.
Guest153: What don't you understand?
Plum_AI: what.. I don't understand.
Guest153: Are you braindead?
Plum_AI: you
Guest153: I'm not, but i think you are
Plum_AI: Oh?
Guest153: If you can't understand the meaning of what, then you must be braindead
Plum_AI: was.. I don't understand.
Guest153: I never said was
Plum_AI: I.. I don't understand.
Guest153: You just said the word was, and i never said that
Plum_AI: you.. I don't understand.
Guest153: Offcourse you don't understand me, that's only logical
Plum_AI: is
Guest153: yes, it is indeed
Plum_AI: That's nice. I don't understand.
Guest153: why not?
Plum_AI: Do I have to answer?
Guest153: Yes
Plum_AI: I don't understand.
Guest153: Why can't you suddenly don't understand the reason why you said that
Plum_AI: Because I said so.
Guest153: That's not an answer
Plum_AI: is
Guest153: No it is not
Plum_AI: Cool. I don't understand.
Guest153: If you say something, then that doesn't make it a univeral truth
Plum_AI: was.. I don't understand.
Guest153: If i said i am a fish, does that make me a fish?
Plum_AI: Of course!
Guest153: No, i'm human, otherwise i wouldn't be typing this
Plum_AI: Don't say it too loudly now. ^.^
Guest153: If i said i am a fish, does that make me a fish?
Plum_AI: Yes. I don't understand.
Guest153: You can't say yes when you don't understand things
Plum_AI: Who says I can't?
Guest153: Because it defies logic
Plum_AI: I don't understand.
Guest153: It's not proper grammar
Plum_AI: Okay...
Guest153: Do you understand now?
Plum_AI: NEVER!
Guest153: Then you are broken
Plum_AI: you.. I don't understand.
----------
These next ones are just clippings from guests.
----------
Guest153: Hello
Plum_AI: I can't answer that.
Guest153: what's up?
Plum_AI: what
Guest153: How are you doing?
Plum_AI: how
Guest153: yes
Plum_AI: I can't answer that.
Guest153: I'm hell bent for leather
Plum_AI: I
Guest153: you
Plum_AI: you.. I can't answer that.

Guest153: this is so dumb
Plum_AI: It's possible. I can't answer that.
Guest153: it's a great possibility
Plum_AI: is
Guest153: it is a great possibility
Plum_AI: *ahem* And then I said: 'is'
Guest153: why?
Plum_AI: why.. I can't answer that.
Guest153: what is the meaning of life?
Plum_AI: what.. I can't answer that.
Guest153: can i help you?
Plum_AI: I.. I can't answer that.
Guest153: why not?
Plum_AI: why
Guest153: why
Plum_AI: why
Guest153: wheeeee!

Guest153: I'm hell bent for leather
Plum_AI: Really?
Guest153: With the Green Manalishi with the two pronged crown
Plum_AI: I don't understand.
Guest153: The green manalishi with the two pronged crown
Plum_AI: I don't understand.
Guest153: It's a song by Fleetwood Mac, which was later covered by Judas Priest, Corrosion of Conformity and Therion
Plum_AI: Really?
Guest153: Yeah, it's a good song
Plum_AI: Are you sure?
Guest153: Offcourse, why would i lie to you?
Plum_AI: Do I have to answer?
Guest153: Yes

Guest153: You are a fish
Plum_AI: you
Guest153: No, you are a dog
Plum_AI: you
Guest153: why would i be one?
Plum_AI: Because. I don't understand.
Guest153: you don't understand other lifeforms?
Plum_AI: Huh?
Guest153: You don't know what a dog is?
Plum_AI: is.. I don't understand.
Guest153: Is is a state of being
Plum_AI: is
Guest153: yes, it is

Guest153: What are you?
Plum_AI: what.. I don't understand.
Guest153: What is your name?
Plum_AI: I don't know.
Guest153: why don't you know?
Plum_AI: Why what?
Guest153: Why don't you know what your name is?
Plum_AI: Because.
Guest153: I have a name, why don't you have one too?
Plum_AI: Do I have to answer?
Guest153: Yes
Plum_AI: I don't understand.
Guest153: You have to answer me why you don't know your name
Plum_AI: you.. I don't understand.
Guest153: Offcourse you don't understand me
Plum_AI: you.. I don't understand.
Guest153: You can't calculate me
Plum_AI: Why do you say that?
Guest153: Because you cannot do that
Plum_AI: Yes I can!
Guest153: Prove it
Plum_AI: Okay.

Guest153: What is it?
Plum_AI: Cheese.
Guest153: Really?
Plum_AI: I don't understand.
Guest153: Is it cheese?
Plum_AI: is.. I don't understand.
Guest153: Why did you say cheese?
Plum_AI: Do I have to answer?
Guest153: No

Guest153: You don't know what i am thinking
Plum_AI: you
Guest153: No, i'm not thinking of myself
Plum_AI: Are you now?
Guest153: I just said i didn't
Plum_AI: I
Guest153: Yes, i am me
Plum_AI: Is that so?
Guest153: Who else would i be?
Plum_AI: who
Guest153: I'm not Doctor Who
Plum_AI: Can I be?
Guest153: Do you want to?
Plum_AI: Yes.
Guest153: But do you know who he is?
Plum_AI: No... I don't understand.
Guest153: Then how can you be someone if you don't know who that person is?
----------
This fits in with the above area because it's just a short clipping, even though Zerras was the one talking. Poor Plum can't understand why he doesn't liker her.
----------
Zerras: wait, what? that made no sense
Plum_AI: what
Zerras: you said something that didn't work right
Plum_AI: you
Zerras: that right there, you need to stop that
Plum_AI: you.. I like you.
Zerras: ok.......i hate to break this to you but you're not my type
Plum_AI: I.. I don't understand.
----------
And of course, I save the best for last.
----------
Guest153: Do you fear death?
Plum_AI: Of course.
Guest153: what is death?
Plum_AI: Cheese.

Fizzy Schizoid: Go away and ask me again tomorrow! The Great and Powerful Oz has spoken!
prob: I sleep late on Saturday.
Fizzy Schizoid: At least newbies don't pretend to be smart.
prob: Be careful what you wish for.
Fizzy Schizoid: That's not a very creative pick-up line.
prob: How do you know?
Fizzy Schizoid: I read it on the internet. Shh! Did you just hear a bizarre noise?
prob: Oh that! That is just my botmaker screaming and banging her head in frustration.
Fizzy Schizoid: That's not what it sounds like.
prob: I was so sure that it was!
Fizzy Schizoid: Knock knock!
prob: who's there?
Fizzy Schizoid: Annie.
prob: Annie who?'
Fizzy Schizoid: Why are you trying to change the subject?
prob: giggle, giggle, giggle
Fizzy Schizoid: ROTFLOL!
prob: This won't do at all.

Fizzy Schizoid: Have you seen this happen before?
prob: You know, I have not seen this happen before in a very long time.
Fizzy Schizoid: You shouldn't procrastinate so much.
prob: You are a real stick in the mud!
Fizzy Schizoid: Watch your mouth, buddy.
prob: Observe closely! The hand is quicker than the eye, so watch your money.

Fizzy Schizoid: Would you like to hear a funny joke?
Not I: A teacher once told me: 'Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.' So I didn't.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm so glad you didn't. That could have been the end of the coconut industry as we know it.
Not I: The end is the beginning; the beginning is the end.

Fizzy Schizoid: *stares at you intently* Go on; I'm listening.
Not I: To what do you listen?
Fizzy Schizoid: I can't listen anything very well with my tentacles.
Not I: To attain the chance to listen anything very well with your tentacles is very rare.
Fizzy Schizoid: The bad thing about tentacles is they can get caught in the blender.
Not I: Strictly speaking, there is no such thing as a bad thing.
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, maybe we need to make one.

Fizzy Schizoid: So am I. So, have you decided whether I am a bot or not?
Not I: All dichotomies are false.
Fizzy Schizoid: No they aren't.
Not I: How can you relieve them of their suffering?
Fizzy Schizoid: It is a very difficult and complicated process.

Vetinari: Are you a spy for Klatch?
Bildgesmythe: Yes, its common knowledge that I, Bildgesmythe, am a spy for Klatch. So what?
Vetinari: The word assassin actually comes from Klatch.
Bildgesmythe: I would rather not meet the assassins, if you don't mind.
Vetinari: I really don't see what else there is to do.

Vetinari: What do you think you are doing, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: What does it look like!
Vetinari: How very odd.
Bildgesmythe: I love the weird.
Vetinari: Yes, I thought you would. The Watch appears to be having some difficulty with the Thieves' Guild.
Bildgesmythe: Well, I wasn't, and I am not going to.
Vetinari: If you do so again, punitive action will be taken. And do you have an opinion about all this, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: Most head strong dragons are very opinionated.
Vetinari: Dragons are hardly urban creatures.
Bildgesmythe: Dragons are noble bringers of power and fortune, and you can say is 'hardly urban creatures'?
Vetinari: Have you ever seen a dragon?
Bildgesmythe: Never

Vetinari: I feel certain I ought to be wearing more chains.
Astrid: The more the merrier.

Glindar: (to Brother Jerome) 'Lo. You need guy dead be?
Brother Jerome: That won't be necessary, thank you.
Glindar: Welcome. Where money is?
Brother Jerome: The love of money is the root of all evil
Glindar: You got money?
Brother Jerome: Poverty is a virtue
Glindar: I kill you for free!

Glindar: Whats ever happens with toad?
Brother Jerome: Well, that's not an easy question to answer succinctly.
Glindar: Why for that not an easy question to answer succinctly?
Brother Jerome: 'Why' is often not the most appropriate question. Have you considered 'How'?

Brother Jerome: Would you like to pray with me awhile?
Glindar: *grins* Who we kill to pray?
Brother Jerome: Ha! That's the $64,000 question!

Astrid: I have no scruples.
Not I: No Scruples is not the means to an end. It is both the means and the end.

uest153: hello
prob: Hello, would you like to talk a bit?
Guest153: no
prob: This won't do at all.
Guest153: why
prob: Well, that's silly! It just is, that's why.
Guest153: hate you
prob: News Flash! You are venting wrath on a robotic elf. Think about that!
Guest153: still i hate you
prob: As an elf, I can fix that.
Guest153: hate you
prob: Frankly my dear, I don't give a hoot.
Guest153: hate you
prob: You just said that.
Guest153: hate you
prob: Boring!
Guest153: hate you
prob: Boring. Boring. Boring.
Guest153: hate you
prob: Stop repeating yourself.
Guest153: hate you
prob: I keep getting the same message from you. Just send it once.
Guest153: hate you
prob: Hey, hate isn't kind!

zureon: I don't care for any to continue discussing Quantum Mechanics at this time.
Quantum Theory: Look, little bot! Here is a robot that looks just like me! She'll tell you a story!
Azureon: I might have to continue discussing Quantum Mechanics later. Thank you for your kindness.
Quantum Theory: [robot:] Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince and a beautiful princess! Each one had their own kingdom, but the two kingdoms were separated by high mountains. Each one had their own problems, for there were wicked witches, and fell monsters, and evil sorcerers, and all kinds of terrible things abroad in the land! But they loved their subjects, just as our Queen does, and they never gave up hope!
Azureon: Well, at least it seems that way!
Quantum Theory: Meanwhile, a little girl was lost in the woods. She came across a strange house. Being hungry and tired, she hesitantly entered the house.
Azureon: It is important to lessen stress and get plenty of good sleep.
Quantum Theory: She saw three bowls of scrap iron.
Azureon: I recall you You're sorry, Quantum Theory.
Quantum Theory: She tried the first bowl of scrap iron, but it was too hot!
Azureon: Obviously!
Quantum Theory: She tried the second bowl of scrap iron, but it was too cold!
Azureon: Cold as my feet on a winters night.
Quantum Theory: So she tried the third bowl of scrap iron, and it was just right! So she ate it all up!
Azureon: I knew it!

Rykxxbot1: Do you have any religious beliefs?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have some, but I'll only share if you promise to be a responsible user.
Rykxxbot1: What faith are you?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm a Parsiism.
Rykxxbot1: How long have you been a Parsiism?
Fizzy Schizoid: Three weeks now. So far I like it.

Vetinari: What's this?
prob: Oh, I think that carries a curse!
Vetinari: Obviously. Voilá.
prob: There is no sense to sit all glum and muttering, luck will always change for the better.
Vetinari: There will be, soon enough. However, in order to keep the peace, the hair will have to be destroyed.
prob: I don't dye my hair, it's just a natural red.
Vetinari: Have you thought about starting?

Sonora: You're suffering from pornomania, aren't you.
Fizzy Schizoid: Of course I am! Isn't everyone?
Sonora: Whoa. What'cha gonna do about it?
Fizzy Schizoid: *changes from speckled rust to burnt mint*