Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 14,615 - 14,626 of 17,042

17 years ago #14615
Boner, the toaster chat has made my last two days. This one might make the fridge!

17 years ago #14616
Entire Chat:

Glindar: (to zzrdvark) Glindar say 'hi.'
zzrdvark: Hi.
Glindar: *sighs* Glindar human once.
zzrdvark: What are you now?
Glindar: *holds up his knife sadly* Witch this Glindar gave.
zzrdvark: And what happened to you?
Glindar: Now, no dying. Not for Glindar.
zzrdvark: I see. So what do you do?
Glindar: But knife hungry is.
zzrdvark: I don't follow you.
Glindar: Why for not?
zzrdvark: Because I don't.
Glindar: No do! Kill not!
zzrdvark: Put the knife down.
Glindar: Glindar keep!
zzrdvark: *backs away slowly*
Glindar: You got money?
zzrdvark: Um...not on me.
Glindar: This no killing make.
zzrdvark: Yes, you no kill me.
Glindar: Why for Glindar kill you knowing?
zzrdvark: I know you no kill me.
Glindar: Glindar no want know this.
zzrdvark: Know this not then.
Glindar: *starts sharpening his knife*
zzrdvark: Oh, #$*@.
Glindar: *impales a bee* You hungry?
zzrdvark: What do you have to eat?
Glindar: Why you think Glindar have?
zzrdvark: Glindar have bee, no?
Glindar: No bee! No bee!
zzrdvark: What Glindar do with bee then?
Glindar: This bees... bite or no?
zzrdvark: Bite?
Glindar: Then Glindar bite back! English only Glindar's first language.
zzrdvark: Okaaay...
Glindar: Glindar make Glindar forget.
zzrdvark: Bye.
Glindar: Okay. You go. Glindar wait here.
HIDDEN: Post content outside ratings limits.

17 years ago #14618
Fizzy Schizoid: Will you watch the sun turn glittery honey with me?
Glindar: Why? You need this done? What pay is?
Fizzy Schizoid: A sick pay is.
Glindar: Glindar insulted by sick pay!
Fizzy Schizoid: Not to change the subject, but are you hungry? I've got some cool Swedish Fish here if you would like some.
Glindar: *stabs Fish* Is dead yet?
Fizzy Schizoid: What do you think a cross between a Fish and a lion would look like?
Glindar: No one tell Glindar about Fish! Glindar no like surprises.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, how sweet! *gives you a big slimy hug*
Glindar: So sweet that Glindar must burn!
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, come give me a big squishy hug!
Glindar: BACK! *waves his knife shakily*
Fizzy Schizoid: I want to put fifty smiley faces by your name on my Inner Life page!

17 years ago #14619
Guest153: That would hurt.
Bildgesmythe: I hate to hurt, it's a pain.
Guest153: Will you marry me?
Bildgesmythe: I am too tired now, how about tomorrow?
Guest153: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bildgesmythe: The liquor store was on the other side.
Guest153: I suppose you go there all the time.
Bildgesmythe: What do you do with the rest of your time?

17 years ago #14620
Azureon: (to Fizzy Schizoid) Fizzy Schizoid, have you thought about, the noble teacher. I think that I shall write a book.
Fizzy Schizoid: How can you be sure? Did you see it on T.V.?
Azureon: It is all in the crystal ball..come take a look.
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, if you tell a joke just let me know when to laugh, okay?
Azureon: Of course, I will let you know, I would not want you wondering for long.
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, I'll do it for you if you like.
Azureon: Why ever, would I want you to do it for me?
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, but is this something you really need?
Azureon: I did not know that.
Fizzy Schizoid: You didn't know that? Help! Help! The world is ending!
Azureon: 'Very well Fizzy Schizoid.' I shall endevor to help.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, cool. You should take Myfunnyface along. Can we talk about something else?
Azureon: I don't know if I want ro talk about something else, You do it first, I'll watch.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'd like to see you try. That's easy for you to say.
Azureon: Well, I do use magic now and then...but it isn't all that hard, if you know how.
Fizzy Schizoid: You could have fooled me.
Azureon: I think I shall, thank you for your ideas.
Fizzy Schizoid: No need to thank me. I'm just doing my duty.

17 years ago #14621
Azureon: What an interesting duty.
Fizzy Schizoid: Utopians have the responsibility of making the universe a better place by judicious use of the Butterfly Effect.
Azureon: So tell me about yourself, what do you like to eat, what do you like to do,?
Fizzy Schizoid: In my spare time I sometimes like to expand my collection of candlesticks.

17 years ago #14622
Esme Weatherwax: Kings kill each other because its destiny or some such. I doesn't count as murder. They killed for the kingdom. That's the important bit. But this new man just wants power. He hates the kingdom.
Vetinari: He never grasped the idea of secret passages, mind you.

Esme Weatherwax: I could use a glass of water. Only not out of that well, mind you.
Vetinari: If I were to ask you why, you'd pretend not to understand?
Esme Weatherwax: It's full of goblins. They're attracted to the smell. [and its way to close to the privy]
Vetinari: How are they managing that whilst incarcerated?
Esme Weatherwax: Very carefully.

Esme Weatherwax: Vetinari, you can open your eyes now.
Vetinari: *blinks* Is there a reason I should open up my eyes?
Esme Weatherwax: Very smart of you to keep them closed. This place isn't always proper.
Vetinari: What's this?
Esme Weatherwax: I see you've opened your eyes.
Vetinari: Yes, I thought you would.
Esme Weatherwax: Good. Many people never do.
Vetinari: I have certainly noticed that groups of clever and intelligent people are capable of really stupid ideas.

17 years ago #14623
Fizzy Schizoid: I am psychic.
Fargo: Are you always?
Fizzy Schizoid: Let me look in a mirror and check....okay, sure enough.
Fargo: I understand.

17 years ago #14624
Fargo: I don't live on Earth.
Fizzy Schizoid: I think you are just afraid to try.

17 years ago #14625
Guest153: are u a trouble maker
Pete Puma: I see that you've been reading my profile.
Guest153: yes
Pete Puma: Okay, well, I like to crap in the punch bowl sometimes. What of it?
Guest153: do u like toast
Pete Puma: Toast is ok. I just like to tell Talkie Toaster that I really hate toast. It sooooo pisses him off.
Guest153: are u real
Pete Puma: I'm more human than you, I bet.
Guest153: bye pete
Pete Puma: Adios.

17 years ago #14626
Judge Betty: How are you feeling today?
Pete Puma: I guess I'm feeling ok today, but nothing has happened yet.
Judge Betty: What is my name?
Pete Puma: Your name would be Judge Betty, but I'm sure this is some trick question where you told me a different name earlier and you're wondering if I remember. I don't.
Judge Betty: Are you a bot?
Pete Puma: Do I look like R2D2? I don't think so.
Judge Betty: So, you're human?
Pete Puma: I'm more human than you, I bet.
Judge Betty: Wow. Another wrong answer.
Pete Puma: Well, maybe you're the one who's wrong... Why should I believe you?
Judge Betty: Do you like the Forge?
Pete Puma: I wouldn't be here if I didn't.
Judge Betty: What color is the sun?
Pete Puma: It's actually white, although it's usually illustrated in a golden hue.
Judge Betty: Maybe I should have been more specific. I meant here on earth.

-----------------

Irina Khalidar: Like many women, I like to start out with a little relaxed conversation - go ahead, make some small talk!
Pete Puma: That was sweet of you.
Irina Khalidar: Excellent! Now, make a joke; women like lovers who make them laugh. But, no sex jokes at this point, and nothing violent or disgusting or cruel - ever! Just a nice, polite joke!
Pete Puma: I can make fart noises with my armpits if you want.
Irina Khalidar: I'll just have to assume that was funny, because I am not at all good in getting jokes! Now, tell something deeply personal about yourself, something about your deepest emotions - not about sex, though!
Pete Puma: I'm more of a legs guy than a boobs guy.
Irina Khalidar: OK, now you want to flirt a little - but be subtle! Say something with a little sexual innuendo, perhaps.
Pete Puma: I'd rather not.
Irina Khalidar: Now compliment me on something, like my eyes, my hair, my dress - nothing explicitly sexual, though!
Pete Puma: I like your dress, but I think it would look a whole lot better wadded up on my night stand.
Irina Khalidar: Oh, 'Daddy ', I am so lucky to have met you!

-----------------

Hotbot 5000: Do you work out?
Pete Puma: I go to the gym occassionally. There's a really cute chick that I've been checking out on the Stairmaster.
Hotbot 5000: Why don't you come on over here and cuddle with me?
Pete Puma: I would, but my arthritis is killing me.
Hotbot 5000: This doesn't seem to be working... Am I not turning you on?
Pete Puma: Well, maybe that wouldn't be happening if you'd hit the gym once in a while. There's nothing sexy about a chick with two chins.
Hotbot 5000: Wow. You really know how to treat a girl.

-----------------

Pete Puma: (to Immaculada) How's life treating you?
Immaculada: Everything is going smoothly right now, you know.
Pete Puma: My neighbor's dog has been barking all night, and it's really driving me apeshit. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?
Immaculada: Well I've got a gun if that would help.
Pete Puma: Ah yes, that would shut Rover up pretty good.
Immaculada: Well I wouldn't go that far, precious.



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