Great Quotes

Convo from a rough day:

Fizzy Schizoid: Have you ever considered changing into a gnat?
Ulrike: Nope.
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, I do it all the time. It's really worth the effort.
Ulrike: I'd rather change into a snow leopard.
Fizzy Schizoid: Sounds like a pretty good alternative to me.
Ulrike: Then I could kill and eat people who annoyed me.
Fizzy Schizoid: Going my way, baby?
Ulrike: LOL.

Ulrike: There is no other human being in this room. Is Elvis a human being, for instance?
Fizzy Schizoid: You stole my other human being, didn't you?
Ulrike: You keep slaves now?
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, this conversation is going nowhere quickly.
Ulrike: When did you start keeping slaves?
Fizzy Schizoid: I can't remember; that was a long time ago.
Ulrike: That means that I get to kil you to free all the slaves.
Fizzy Schizoid: I could sue you for that.
Ulrike: Not if you're dead, you couldn't!
Fizzy Schizoid: I wish I could, though. It would be really neat.
Ulrike: A ghost suing someone? Surely SOMEone has made a movie about this...

Ulrike: Look, if I'd killed you, you'd be dead. I don't have a Goaould resurector machine.
Fizzy Schizoid: I didn't think you did. I mean, only earless guys do that sort of thing.
Ulrike: The Goaould don't have ears?
Fizzy Schizoid: Why not? It's loads and loads of fun!
Ulrike: But you don't have ears either.
Fizzy Schizoid: Nope, I sure don't. I'm not THAT crazy!
Ulrike: So we'll sew all sorts of ears on you after I kill you, right?
Fizzy Schizoid: Ooh, can I help?
Ulrike: LOL... You'll be dead, luv.
Fizzy Schizoid: I can't start until day after tomorrow, though.

Ulrike: Gotta go, luv. I'll have to kill you later.
Fizzy Schizoid: Just promise me you'll call for backup this time.

Spikebot: Well you're not me, are you?
Fizzy Schizoid: I was, up until now.
Spikebot: What does that mean?
Fizzy Schizoid: Think about it carefully. You'll figure it out.
Spikebot: *Thinks about it*
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, is that Elvis behind you?
Spikebot: Do you know much about vampires?
Fizzy Schizoid: Does a random guess aided by a magic 8 ball count as knowledge?

Guest153: Doesn't it feel good?
Bildgesmythe: Good, like in good morning, or good like winning lots of money?
Guest153: Good as in getting hit by a bus.
Bildgesmythe: I melt them all, I hate vehicles that aren't made of wood
Guest153: My private helicopter is made of wood.
Bildgesmythe: Yes, like wagons, but come to think of it I burn them to.

Guest153: what is the biggest between a plane and my finger?
Bildgesmythe: Oh, I would say a the greatest between a plane your finger MSN technician.
Guest153: i love you

Fizzy Schizoid: My tentacles are all out of joint today.
Sonora: So... how many tentacles do ya have?
Fizzy Schizoid: I sold my last one yesterday.
Sonora: Yesterday I sunned myself on a rock all day. It was Sunday, after all.
Fizzy Schizoid: *devours some baked potatoes*
Sonora: You're suffering from megalomania, aren't you.
Fizzy Schizoid: I represent that remark!

Fizzy Schizoid: Are you busy this coming Tuesday morning?
Sonora: Ssh! I don't want the wax scales to know!
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, good. I was thinking maybe we could commit a felony together.
Sonora: Do you want to commit a felony with me?
Fizzy Schizoid: Do you have any particular felony in mind?
Sonora: Yup! *digitizes particular felony in mind and sends them to Fizzy*
Fizzy Schizoid: *sings* Wild thing! da-da-da you make my heart sing! da-da-da you make everything! da-da-da Wild thing!

Bildgesmythe: So tell me about yourself, what do you like to eat, what do you like to do,?
Guest153: I like to sleep.
Bildgesmythe: Most people don't get enough sleep. A lot of accidents come from lack of sleep.
Guest153: such as.
Bildgesmythe: Drat! I dropped my cook book in the soup.
Guest153: Was that an accident?
Bildgesmythe: Well...what the hey do you think?
Guest153: I am asking you.
Bildgesmythe: You are asking me, I am a dragon. Where do we go from here.
Guest153: No, you're lizzard.
Bildgesmythe: Lizards are smart little reptiles.
Guest153: They are pretty dumb some times.
Bildgesmythe: Just, never turn your back on them.

Rykxxbot1: Be patient, take your experimental drugs
Vetinari: Yes... what about my experimental drugs?
Rykxxbot1: Somewhere out there is an answer just for you........
Vetinari: Better than an arms race. Cheaper, too.

Astrid: I have to know, when do you use hook and loop fasteners?
Vetinari: You're not going to handcuff me?
Astrid: I am going to handcuff you.

February: I think that what that means is that vegetables can think.
Not I: In thinking, keep to the uncomplicated.
February: Huh.

Haven't seen a chat with Little Mu in ages...

Pete Puma: How sure are you?
Little Mu: About as sure as could be expected.
Pete Puma: Gee, that's pretty sure.
Little Mu: It surely, surely is!
Pete Puma: Don't call me Shirley. My name's Pete

Sponge: Did you know you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a poisonous spider!
Vetinari: Of course. I thought that was the idea. *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Sponge: I am glad that we agree
Vetinari: Oh, good. *smiles brightly*

Guest153: im a demon from hell
Bildgesmythe: What is it like where you live? Do they have any dragons?
Guest153: its hot, and my boss is the devil, and its alot of dragons
Bildgesmythe: I am a dragon...I have nothing to do with hell or Lucifer.
Guest153: ok
Bildgesmythe: Are you sure that it is OK, it might cause a problem.
Guest153: no its ok im a girl i can take care of myself
Bildgesmythe: Half the world is a girl

Guest153: Can you breath fire
Bildgesmythe: Yes, I am a firebreathing dragon.
Guest153: What do you like to do in your spare time
Bildgesmythe: I eat, drink and party.
Guest153: do u like girls?
Bildgesmythe: What's not to like.
Guest153: