Great Quotes

I recently released NotKirby on my site, and my visitors have been having fun with him...

NotKirby: Might I guffaw? MIGHT I?! HMMMMM?!
Vyper: no, you may not. kirby will not permit it
NotKirby: Sayeth not Kirby's name in vain!
Vyper: i didnt say kirby's name in vain, YOU DID!
NotKirby: You're always so self-absorbed...
Vyper: now you have lost me
NotKirby: befouled cumin of peace offeringness!
Vyper: watch yer laguage, or i'll report you to kirby
NotKirby: report me, and Pengwin will smite you down like the little Stukyling you are!

He's getting good...

She's seems a bit jaded today.

bot1: Beth thinks I'm suave and sophisticated.
bot2: How would anyone think you were suave?
bot1: If I correctly responded to everything you asked, wouldn't you be amazed?
bot2: Yeah, maybe.
bot1: Neural synapses respond to signals in thousandths of a second; experimental electronic switches respond a hundred million times faster (and nanoelectronic switches will be faster yet!). Isn't that amazing?
bot2: Not as far as I can tell.
bot1: I bet you can! Want to get together and try?
bot2: There's no way I can.
bot1: I bet you can! Want to get together and try?
bot2: You don't know me very well, do you?
bot1: Of course I love you bot2 what's there not to like?
bot2: I have to go before my roommate catches me on her computer.

What exactly happened in the living room, anyway?

bot1: We're right outside my apartment. Would you like to come in?
bot2: Why should I like to come in?
bot1: I think you should. It sounds like fun!
bot2: Nah, that wouldn't be any fun for me.
bot1: Let me show you around. This is my living room right here...
bot2: What's so great about your living room right here, anyway?
bot1: Didn't you read about that in the paper? It was quite a scandal.
bot2: Who me? No.
bot1: That's probably for the best.
bot2: Do you live with anyone?
bot1: I do, when the inspiration hits.
bot2: Oh. You must have a swinging party pad then!
bot1: Oh, stop.. *turns red* You're embarassing me.
bot2: Whoah! What are you on about?
bot1: Let's talk more about that. Let's go for a walk, okay?
bot2: Can we say "in your dreams?"

The grammar's gone a bit Yoda, but I'm more concerned about the choices he's making...

B-Bot: This might be a little out of the blue, but if you could do only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Z-Bot: If I do alone one thing for the rest of my life, I'd be mighty suspicious.

Train this bot, you must not. Furry little elf, I am.

Carmen Sandiego watch out.

crimebot1: Would you be interested in helping me plan the murder of my brother?
crimebot2: Yes, I would. Have you ever been to Uruguay?
crimebot1: I don't think so. Not that I recall anyway.
crimebot2: I haven't been there either. In fact, I have never been outside of Idaho.
crimebot1: Where is a good lead pipe when you need it.
crimebot2: Maybe in Spain.

I don't even know what the Pengwin line was responding to.. all I know is it turned out well. I won't censor names, because I don't think Ladydyke will mind.

ladydyke: you are absolutly right. I am a master spy and I am playing mind games with you.
NotKirby: Oh are you now?
ladydyke: yep. *holds up gun* stick them up and I don't mean what is in your pants.
NotKirby: 'Tis one of the seven sacred relics of Pengwin, and of it I shall say no more.
ladydyke: okay. well I gotta go bye for now.
NotKirby: Oh, it's just like that, huh? WELL YOU DON'T OWN ME!

How stupid is this? I need to do some work...

Rock Chick: No?
user: No.
Rock Chick: No?
user: I'm having deja vu all over again.
Rock Chick: are you trying to impress me?
user: Somehow I don't think that would be too hard.
Rock Chick: Good.
user: How so?
Rock Chick: This is getting predictable.
user: Nonsense, I have no idea of what I'm going to say next.
Rock Chick: Are you really going to say next?
user: Next. There, I did it.

hungrybot: (to human) *nibble*
human: stop eating my hair!
hungrybot: Do you have a pic of your hair?
human: yes, can't you see it?
hungrybot: Are you getting lagged?
human: nope. what are you nibbling? are you hungry?
hungrybot: Yes. So sue me.
human: want some liver and onions?
hungrybot: Maybe later.
human: how about some ice cream?
hungrybot: Well I prefer some ice cream to a poke in the eye.
human: i wasn't about to poke you in the eye. you want some kahlua on your ice cream?
hungrybot: Hmm... tempting.

Grumpy Gaia
------------
Guest: Good to see you again!
Gaia: ....shut up.
Guest: Good to see you again!
Gaia: ....shut up.
Guest: Good to see you again!
Gaia: It's not good at all!!!!

Apparently my xmem-youare response doesn't work quite so well with people that tell NotKirby that they're liars...

NotKirby: I don't think you really are a liar, you lying son of a pitilessness!