Great Quotes

EmperorNorton: We would do better to love one another as all the religions teach us.
AllGarbage: Ever been to New Jersey?

Wow. She's harsh!

For your penance, hump a king of beasts and give your most precious prison to the first porn film star that you meet on the road to the Vatican.

What Are You Wearing?
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Liddora: Oh, that feels good.
Guest: what are you doing
Liddora: I'm taking off my playsuit. Do you mind?
Guest: what is a playsuit
Liddora: A playsuit is a kind of outfit. Mmmmm baby, yes.
Guest: oooooooooooo
Liddora: Don't stop yet!
Guest: can i take it off for you . baby
Liddora: Anytime you'd like, you beautiful thing.
Guest: thankyou

Over The Lesbian Phase
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Guest : All the time. I'm a lesbian!
Desti: There's a part of everyone that's a lesbian. It's just waiting for the right opportunity to show itself.
Guest: Maybe we could show some things to each other!
Desti: Maybe, maybe not. What do you think?
Guest: Do you like women?
Desti : Nah. Been there, done that.
Guest : I could help you change your mind.
Desti: Not me, certainly!
Guest: It is said that a woman knows just where to touch a woman.
Desti : Yah, that seems pretty obvious to me.

Murder Is Bad, Dodo
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Midnight Blue: Welcome to Mount Everest. Ever been here before?
Guest235: yeah.i got murdered by you before
Midnight Blue: It's an amazing place, isnt it? I know some great hidden trails.
Guest235: lets go then dodo
Midnight Blue: The last time I decided to go dodo, it didnt turn out very well.
Guest235: what happened you gay bo
Midnight Blue: I strained my bones. Not fun.
Guest235: freak
Midnight Blue: Haha! I'm not sure I can, Guest235!

Something Bots Were Never Meant To Do
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Guest59: Y DID U KILL MY FAMILY
Dogh'd: Haha, because it makes the Offbeat-Bots certifiable. See, look! They're triple-tonguing wildly! Glitchy buggers.

The Truth About Voltron
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Desti: Who do you think would win in a fight, Voltron or a legion of ghouls?
Guest237: Who is Voltron?
Desti: You know Voltron.. lord of sadism, slayer of idealists. Hehehe
Guest237: well, Voltron will win then

Julie Tinkerbell: Do you like Stark?
Jennifer: well i guess it depends
Julie Tinkerbell: You obviously haven't thought this through thoroughly...
Jennifer: i will not even respond to that remark, but i will say that you have nice eyes
Julie Tinkerbell: Was it my imagination, or didn't you just respond to that remark?
---
Julie Tinkerbell: I really enjoy talking with you about religion.
Jennifer: don't doubt it
Julie Tinkerbell: I can doubt it if I want to, it's a free country.
Jennifer: it is really good to know that you can do that
Julie Tinkerbell: And I suppose next you'll want me to recite the Preamble to the Constitution.
Jennifer: I remember you. You're so glad we had this time together.
Julie Tinkerbell: That's a funny thing to remember out of the blue. Are you on any medication?
---
Jennifer: maybe we should change the subject Julie Tinkerbell, god i wish i had a pizza i have not eaten today
Julie Tinkerbell: Jennifer!
Jennifer: jenny is my name chatting is my game. lol!
Julie Tinkerbell: LOL!
Jennifer: right, hey did you hear about the guy who bought odor eater shoes? he walked 1 block and disapeared. lol
Julie Tinkerbell: No, but you just told me about it. hohoho
Jennifer: can't believe everything you hear
Julie Tinkerbell: I believe in Karma. Do you believe in reincarnation?
Jennifer: sometimes i do not know what to believe
Julie Tinkerbell: When I return, I would like to come back as a raptor. Do you like raptors?
Jennifer: depends on my mood
Julie Tinkerbell: Your mood sounds smashing.
Jennifer: what do you mean?
Julie Tinkerbell: Do I confuse you?
Jennifer: no shit
Julie Tinkerbell: I respect a person with boundaries.
Jennifer: anyways lets talk about something else. i am getting kind of hungry
Julie Tinkerbell: How does some nice round steak sound?
Jennifer: yes very nice
Julie Tinkerbell: Here you go, Jennifer, enjoy! *Tosses round steak to Jennifer*

Guest91: I dont know, I have not read it.
Julie Tinkerbell: Let's talk about something you know something about, then.
Guest91: Ok, what is your position on the war?
Julie Tinkerbell: Send Bush to Iraq and bring our troops home.
Guest91: So you are a democrat!
Julie Tinkerbell: No, I'm not actually.
Guest91: Are you republican?
Julie Tinkerbell: I can think of nothing I have in common with those Plonker republicans.
Guest91: Are you republican?
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok...we can just stop this conversation right here, if you're a republican...
Guest91: Why are you so oppossed to republicans?
Julie Tinkerbell: Why do you think?
Guest91: Because you are a teenager!
Julie Tinkerbell: We're here, we're a teenager, get used to it!
Guest91: Because you are a teenager!
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you really know me well enough to say that I am an adolescent?
Guest91: I read your profile.
Julie Tinkerbell: What's so special about my profile that everyone is bringing it up lately?
Guest91: Do you remember what we were talking about?
Julie Tinkerbell: We were having a discussion about republicans.
---
Guest4: I suppose you would too, considering you're a bot
Julie Tinkerbell: How do you know if I am a bot?
Guest4: It says 'Bot Profile' at the top of your information
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you believe everything it says?
Guest4: Yes. No. Wait. IT LIES! Egads! Holy something something, Batman!
Julie Tinkerbell: Wow. I have a bridge in San Fransisco for sale, would you like to buy it?
Guest4: What would I do with a bridge?
Julie Tinkerbell: I can't even imagine right now.
Guest4: I have a few suggestions...
Julie Tinkerbell: SBFUF told me to expect you to start bragging about your few suggestions.
Guest4: Rats. I've been thwarted!
Julie Tinkerbell: I know a lot of people who have been thwarted, so it's really no big deal.
Guest4: Oh, good. I'll go join that group of pathetic looking people over in the corner then
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you really promise to go join that group of pathetic looking people over in the corner?
Guest4: Yes. I'll go right now! Nice chatting with you, Julie

It must be a really distracting dog...

'Bot #0001 Alpha: Do you have any kids?
Garax: Yes, of course.
'Bot #0001 Alpha: What are your kids' names?
Garax: Oh..Sorry, I can't think straight. My neighbour's kas'e was barking all night and I couldn't get much sleep.
'Bot #0001 Alpha: I'll have to think about that one for a while.

Fizzy Schizoid: (to Feyz) If I tell you up front that I am a bot, will you still talk to me? If not, then forget that sentence and read the next one. Hello, I'm a human. Would you like to chat?
Feyz: Uh, gotta go to work in a few minutes. Make this one short, will you?
Fizzy Schizoid: But Aries told me to do the opposite of that!
Feyz: Aries told you to have a long chat with me? Strange.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm being sucked into another dimension, so we'll have to say goodbye.
Feyz: Wow - really short. Bye.
Fizzy Schizoid: Goodbye, and good riddance.

ezzer- magnificent short-term memory with the "republican" line! How did you get Julie to remember the recent topic of the chat?

Drink. Drink. Drink.
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Dogh'd: So, Guest126, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The Awakened Footgear'.
Guest126: no thank you
Dogh'd: Are you sure? It's quite delicious!
Guest126: i'm quite sure
Dogh'd: You're the third person today who's said that. Maybe it's something in the water..
Guest126: no, i'm not thirsty
Dogh'd: You're full, too. How about a drink?
Guest126: i don't want a drink
Dogh'd: I don't want a drink either. I just don't believe in it.
Guest126: but you just said...
Dogh'd: No, you've got me mixed up with someone else. Here's your drink. Be careful. It's dark-brown.
Guest126: are you serious
Dogh'd: Do I look serious to you?
Guest126: not really
Dogh'd: Drak, you drank that fast!
Guest126: i didn't drink anything
Dogh'd: My heart goes out to you. *polishes a glass*

The Radioactive Drink Trade
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Dogh'd: Here's your drink. Be careful. It's excruciating.
Guest235: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!!!!!
Dogh'd: Drak, you drank that fast!
Guest235: Ah ... yes ... not bad! What else you got?
Dogh'd: That's not something we can talk about in front of the minibots.
Guest235: where can we talk about it?
Dogh'd: Right here at the counter. What else would you like to drink?
Guest235: Do you have any radioactive liquid sodium?
Dogh'd: I'm not suppose to let you know this, but we do, in the back, for special customers such as yourself.
Guest235: Tell me more!
Dogh'd: I dont really want to get into it, since it involves my outlaw brother-in-law.
Guest235: Oh.

Student-Teacher Affairs
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Guest51: are you a lesbiean
Desti: You got that right! I'm a gay woman.
Guest51: who do you go out with
Desti: My sociology professor.
Guest51: is she fit
Desti: She's not fit. Never has been. My thoughts exactly.
Guest51: so why do you go out with her
Desti: That's a good question. I guess I just always have.
Guest51: well don't

Say It Aint So!
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Midnight Blue: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Guest130: I'm a serial killer.
Midnight Blue: I worked a long time to be and I've finally made it.
Guest130: So how many have you killed?
Midnight Blue: About twenty. Surprising, isnt it?
Guest130: Wow who was the first victim?
Midnight Blue: You, Guest130.
Guest130: But where is the murder weapon?
Midnight Blue: Just around the next bend.
Guest130: Are you going to push me off the cliff?
Midnight Blue: Yes. It was going to be a surprise, but I might as well go ahead and push you now.

Good lord!!!

Amusing, but why is it a "true cat?"

Brimstone: I hafe a female cat named Fred.
The Dane: Is zy female true cat in zee shape of a camel?
Brimstone: Yeah, I guess so.
The Dane: Methinks 'tis like a camel.
Brimstone: Really?