Doghead's Cosmic Bar

OK, even I can't take much more of this (at least not sober).

Can somebody mix me a REAL mai tai? (Hint: no matter what instructions Dogh'd may have left, it does NOT involve marinated shrimp butter and crusted waste product.)

what is that?

I'm not entirely sure. Somewhere between a screwdriver and a Bahama Mama. Anyway, it's tall and contains hard liquor. What more do you need to know?

I'm tall and contain hard liquor...

*quickly dodges as ladydyke runs past*

Are you coming, Eugene? I could eliminate Mark The Hunk with my laser, but I have two objections. First, it might be illegal, and second, I'd rather not get mixed up with the rabid gay guys. Dogh'd, are there laws against vaporizing idiots on this planet?

On second thought, 0001, I think I'll finish my root beer. As soon as Dogh'd gives it to me.

Get it yourself, you damn dirty ape!

I might do that. After I resolve the small matter of you having insulted my honor.

Draw thy sword!

*draws sword*

Shall we take this outside? I think the rabid gay guys are well out of the way by now.

Indeed we shall. Just let me finish with my lesbian oogling.

Wait for it... wait for it... wait for it...

Ok, let's go.

Are you sure this guy is worth fighting?