Doghead's Cosmic Bar

Anybody care to join me in falling face forward into a table of overturned glasses and spilt drinks?
*splat!*
Too late.

*runs out of bar screaming with rabid gay men following*

thanks for sticking up me opps I mean sticking up for me.

*raises soping head and bleary eyes from table* Ish thish a shtickup?
*splat*

Mark the Hunk shall die. NotKirby, I choose you!

OK, even I can't take much more of this (at least not sober).

Can somebody mix me a REAL mai tai? (Hint: no matter what instructions Dogh'd may have left, it does NOT involve marinated shrimp butter and crusted waste product.)

what is that?

I'm not entirely sure. Somewhere between a screwdriver and a Bahama Mama. Anyway, it's tall and contains hard liquor. What more do you need to know?

I'm tall and contain hard liquor...

*quickly dodges as ladydyke runs past*

Are you coming, Eugene? I could eliminate Mark The Hunk with my laser, but I have two objections. First, it might be illegal, and second, I'd rather not get mixed up with the rabid gay guys. Dogh'd, are there laws against vaporizing idiots on this planet?

On second thought, 0001, I think I'll finish my root beer. As soon as Dogh'd gives it to me.

Get it yourself, you damn dirty ape!