Doghead's Cosmic Bar

Life is like a grapefruit. It is round, yellow, slightly squishy, and... um, never mind. I guess it's not very much like that.

Joker drinks the joke
laugh first eat grapefruit after
Chocolate milkshakes slurp.

A little haiku for you all

I read one recently that went something like this:

Haiku is easy
You just remember to stop
At the seventeenth

I Novaria a haiky go as many syballels things I wannit.

Oh jeez, he's pissed again. Someone help me drag his royal ass out to the carriage.

Hey Zolfie, come to mama! *wink*wink*

*activates holopad*

Could whoever is using this thing as a coaster please pick up your drink again so my hologram will appear properly?

Ooh, that's a toughy. I can't remember whose drink that is. It was put down weeks ago. Mine now! *Grabs drink and slams it down* Ooooh, not such a good idea, that was a milkshake, and its been sitting there for weeks. Oh well, Braeden, you're free. Me, I'm heading to place a call on the porcelain phone. *Runs for the men's room.*

I could have warned you...never drink anything that's not fresh. That's my policy.

Yes, but at least milkshakes don't clot, unlike whatever it is that you drink...

If you must know, my saliva contains an anticoagulant.

http://www.angelfire.com/va/vampirebats/

Man, the vast wastelands of pointless knowledge you've had access to since the internet was created must really have helped fill the time of your imprisonment in recent years.