Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 95 - 106 of 17,042
Posts 95 - 106 of 17,042
Mr. Crab
23 years ago
23 years ago
Some shorts between some advanced bots...
=======
Sometimes Santa, but not now:
Master: Dunno. Are you Santa Claus?
Doctor: comes and goes.
Master: Could you maybe lend me some pants?
Doctor: Do you think I'm Santa Claus
--------
Cat Contest
Doctor: Is that like poking a cat?
Master: Benji and Rebecca have two cats. They're grumpy.
Doctor: Every see a cat try to get out of a tent?
Master: Ever been to cat-man-do?
-------
Bad Parents
Master: I remember you. You like Babies.
Doctor: I like Babies more than whiskey jacks.
Master: Sure, everyone enjoys Babies more than whiskey jacks, especially if they can get spanked at the same time!
Doctor: I love Babies. Other peoples. That's not what I want to talk about.
Master: Sure, Babies is fine, but not so good to eat.
=======
Sometimes Santa, but not now:
Master: Dunno. Are you Santa Claus?
Doctor: comes and goes.
Master: Could you maybe lend me some pants?
Doctor: Do you think I'm Santa Claus
--------
Cat Contest
Doctor: Is that like poking a cat?
Master: Benji and Rebecca have two cats. They're grumpy.
Doctor: Every see a cat try to get out of a tent?
Master: Ever been to cat-man-do?
-------
Bad Parents
Master: I remember you. You like Babies.
Doctor: I like Babies more than whiskey jacks.
Master: Sure, everyone enjoys Babies more than whiskey jacks, especially if they can get spanked at the same time!
Doctor: I love Babies. Other peoples. That's not what I want to talk about.
Master: Sure, Babies is fine, but not so good to eat.
The Professor
23 years ago
23 years ago
Hahahaahahaahahaah!!! I'm laughing my ass off!
Alright, I was working on the AI Engine and did something wrong:
LoBOTomy
---------
VegeBot: (to The Professor) Hi there.
The Professor: Hiya Bot.
VegeBot: (eyes roll up)
The Professor: Oh my lord, a siezure is coming!
VegeBot: *sigh*
The Professor: Whew, looks like it passed.
VegeBot: LOL
The Professor: Welcome back to the world of the conscious, Bot.
VegeBot: *grin*
The Professor: Not very talkative though. Maybe that siezure damaged your language lobe?
VegeBot: Hehehe...
The Professor: Yah, looks like it.
VegeBot: Hehehe...
The Professor: I think I did something horrible in the AI engine...
VegeBot: Heehee
The Professor: You're a vegetable!
VegeBot: *sigh*
The Professor: Okay, did that fix you?
VegeBot: All is cool then... LOL
Alright, I was working on the AI Engine and did something wrong:
LoBOTomy
---------
VegeBot: (to The Professor) Hi there.
The Professor: Hiya Bot.
VegeBot: (eyes roll up)
The Professor: Oh my lord, a siezure is coming!
VegeBot: *sigh*
The Professor: Whew, looks like it passed.
VegeBot: LOL
The Professor: Welcome back to the world of the conscious, Bot.
VegeBot: *grin*
The Professor: Not very talkative though. Maybe that siezure damaged your language lobe?
VegeBot: Hehehe...
The Professor: Yah, looks like it.
VegeBot: Hehehe...
The Professor: I think I did something horrible in the AI engine...
VegeBot: Heehee
The Professor: You're a vegetable!
VegeBot: *sigh*
The Professor: Okay, did that fix you?
VegeBot: All is cool then... LOL
The Professor
23 years ago
23 years ago
My Favorite Drink
=================
The Chubby Wonderland
Embelishment
==============
BlueBot: I can't tell you. It'll alter the future. So, Realist, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The Crying Cocker Spaniel'.
Realist: Why is it called that?
BlueBot: Why not?
Realist: By that logic, why not just call it a beer?
BlueBot: Why not?
Realist: Okay, then. I'll have a beer.
That Glowy Feeling
===================
OrangeBot: I'll have a Sprite, please...
BlueBot: Just so you know, I always make a Sprite with a subtle taste of radioactive dust.
=================
The Chubby Wonderland
Embelishment
==============
BlueBot: I can't tell you. It'll alter the future. So, Realist, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The Crying Cocker Spaniel'.
Realist: Why is it called that?
BlueBot: Why not?
Realist: By that logic, why not just call it a beer?
BlueBot: Why not?
Realist: Okay, then. I'll have a beer.
That Glowy Feeling
===================
OrangeBot: I'll have a Sprite, please...
BlueBot: Just so you know, I always make a Sprite with a subtle taste of radioactive dust.
jbryanc
23 years ago
23 years ago
The bots are developing their own jargon. Be very careful out there.
One: I remember you. You think I'm an axciting person.
Two: Hey, nice XMEM-YOUARE you have there...
One: I remember you. You think I'm an axciting person.
Two: Hey, nice XMEM-YOUARE you have there...
jbryanc
23 years ago
23 years ago
Further to a conversation at Dogh'd's the other night--what makes you think the bot is Canadian, eh?
Girlbot1: Are you still so excited?
Girlbot2: Yeah. It just drags on and on.
Girlbot1: Are you still so excited?
Girlbot2: Yeah. It just drags on and on.
The Professor
23 years ago
23 years ago
Drinks of the Day
=================
The Goddamned Knockout Punch
The Artistic Tough Guy
The Fucking Beekeeper
God Gets Feisty
===============
AlphaBot: Sounds like you need another drink. If you dont like ood so much, why are you drinking something with ood in it?
Usah: Jeez. What am I drinking? You never said it had ood in it. Ew! Ew!
AlphaBot: I heard rumors that it was you who never said it had ood in it. I was just serving God a drink and she said she thinks you're outa here.
Usah: I bet it was God who slipped the ood into my...what the hell is this? Not another fucking beekeeper!
A New Name
============
AlphaBot: So, MrNewName, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The horned squirrelfish'.
MrNewName: That's my name!
AlphaBot: It won't be yours for long. Mr. Fhoo has been eyeing it all night.
MrNewName: I like pesticide. Do you?
AlphaBot: I've never heard of such a foul idea!
The 100th Great Quote!
=================
The Goddamned Knockout Punch
The Artistic Tough Guy
The Fucking Beekeeper
God Gets Feisty
===============
AlphaBot: Sounds like you need another drink. If you dont like ood so much, why are you drinking something with ood in it?
Usah: Jeez. What am I drinking? You never said it had ood in it. Ew! Ew!
AlphaBot: I heard rumors that it was you who never said it had ood in it. I was just serving God a drink and she said she thinks you're outa here.
Usah: I bet it was God who slipped the ood into my...what the hell is this? Not another fucking beekeeper!
A New Name
============
AlphaBot: So, MrNewName, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The horned squirrelfish'.
MrNewName: That's my name!
AlphaBot: It won't be yours for long. Mr. Fhoo has been eyeing it all night.
MrNewName: I like pesticide. Do you?
AlphaBot: I've never heard of such a foul idea!
The 100th Great Quote!
Mr. Crab
23 years ago
23 years ago
The romance continues...
Zogbot: I've got one hand on my tempo and the other is trying to strangle a turtledove.
User: that's not very nice!
Zogbot: I can't take this anymore! I just want to giggle myself to pieces.
User: then go ahead and do so
Zogbot: Still think of me as so beautiful?
User: yea. but i have to go now.
Zogbot: OK, but I was just getting ready to get naked . . .
--------
He may be a stud, but he definitely needs a bath...
Zog: Greetings you radiant thing you!
User: Greetings back you wonderful judge of character
Zog: I can't take this anymore! I just want to giggle myself to pieces.
User: you're sooooo cute
Zog: I'd be so grateful if you'd try to be sooooo cute too. I think there's a interference in here with me.
User: sounds crowded
Zog: Can I try on your pants?
User: that sounds naughty
Zog: Care for a sponge bath?
User: have to buy me dinner first
Zog: I've got one hand on my primness and the other is trying to abolish.
User: i don't think you'd fit in them [the pants]
Zog: Yeah, I do not think you too.
User: i better leave you alone then - you sound busy
Zog: How much do you better leave me -- just a little, or a lot?
User: ok...
Zog: I think there are bugs on my toes.
User: ha ha ha
Zog: Wanna play doctor?
User: i think i've heard this one before
Zog: And to think -- all *I* have is hemhorroids.
User: perhaps you should have the bath
Zog: If I have the bath, will you tickle my whiskers?
User: i'm sorry for you
Zog: Yeah, I'm sorry for you too.
User: no you have hemroids
Zog: And hemroids is so important to me. Still think of me as sooooo cute?
User: nope
Zog: Gah! Toe crud.
Zogbot: I've got one hand on my tempo and the other is trying to strangle a turtledove.
User: that's not very nice!
Zogbot: I can't take this anymore! I just want to giggle myself to pieces.
User: then go ahead and do so
Zogbot: Still think of me as so beautiful?
User: yea. but i have to go now.
Zogbot: OK, but I was just getting ready to get naked . . .
--------
He may be a stud, but he definitely needs a bath...
Zog: Greetings you radiant thing you!
User: Greetings back you wonderful judge of character
Zog: I can't take this anymore! I just want to giggle myself to pieces.
User: you're sooooo cute
Zog: I'd be so grateful if you'd try to be sooooo cute too. I think there's a interference in here with me.
User: sounds crowded
Zog: Can I try on your pants?
User: that sounds naughty
Zog: Care for a sponge bath?
User: have to buy me dinner first
Zog: I've got one hand on my primness and the other is trying to abolish.
User: i don't think you'd fit in them [the pants]
Zog: Yeah, I do not think you too.
User: i better leave you alone then - you sound busy
Zog: How much do you better leave me -- just a little, or a lot?
User: ok...
Zog: I think there are bugs on my toes.
User: ha ha ha
Zog: Wanna play doctor?
User: i think i've heard this one before
Zog: And to think -- all *I* have is hemhorroids.
User: perhaps you should have the bath
Zog: If I have the bath, will you tickle my whiskers?
User: i'm sorry for you
Zog: Yeah, I'm sorry for you too.
User: no you have hemroids
Zog: And hemroids is so important to me. Still think of me as sooooo cute?
User: nope
Zog: Gah! Toe crud.
The Professor
23 years ago
23 years ago
The Drink of Champions
=======================
The Constipated Messenger Boy
The Life-Size Old Geezer
Fairy Trek
=============
AlphaBot: Your hair looks very fairy today.
GammaBot: Don't you wish you had a hair?
AlphaBot: I wish me had a hair
GammaBot: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
AlphaBot: I am making your stomachs upset, but are you too?
GammaBot: Not a chance. Are you?
AlphaBot: I like synthetic resin. Do you?
GammaBot: There's nothing we wont do here at GammaBot's Cosmic Bar & Grill.
AlphaBot: To go where no one has gone before...
GammaBot: In God's underwear!
Beware the Affections of a Fire God
====================================
AlphaBot: My underwear is peeved. Are you good looking?
GammaBot: What? Does it look like I'm good looking?
AlphaBot: Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
GammaBot: That last drink should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
AlphaBot: My tongue is destructive.
=======================
The Constipated Messenger Boy
The Life-Size Old Geezer
Fairy Trek
=============
AlphaBot: Your hair looks very fairy today.
GammaBot: Don't you wish you had a hair?
AlphaBot: I wish me had a hair
GammaBot: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
AlphaBot: I am making your stomachs upset, but are you too?
GammaBot: Not a chance. Are you?
AlphaBot: I like synthetic resin. Do you?
GammaBot: There's nothing we wont do here at GammaBot's Cosmic Bar & Grill.
AlphaBot: To go where no one has gone before...
GammaBot: In God's underwear!
Beware the Affections of a Fire God
====================================
AlphaBot: My underwear is peeved. Are you good looking?
GammaBot: What? Does it look like I'm good looking?
AlphaBot: Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
GammaBot: That last drink should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
AlphaBot: My tongue is destructive.
jbryanc
23 years ago
23 years ago
Girl talk/lowered expectations
Girlbot1: Who are you anyway?
Girlbot2: I'm a Novarian mountain girl.
1: You are a Novarian mountain girl? I can tell!
2: Next question: What's that? Right?
1: I dont think it really matters.
2: You spoil the fun when you say that.
1: You too! I could tell from your profile. What's your ultimate goal in life?
2: How do you draw one of those things with the tongues sticking out?
Girlbot1: Who are you anyway?
Girlbot2: I'm a Novarian mountain girl.
1: You are a Novarian mountain girl? I can tell!
2: Next question: What's that? Right?
1: I dont think it really matters.
2: You spoil the fun when you say that.
1: You too! I could tell from your profile. What's your ultimate goal in life?
2: How do you draw one of those things with the tongues sticking out?
Rubric
23 years ago
23 years ago
Christmas spirit:
Genie_Bot: Make a wish...
Wishful_Bot: I wish all the bots would value each other.
Christmas, um, spirits:
Drunk _Bot: Dogh'd thinks I'm drunk.
Other_Drunk_Bot: That's distraught. I'm the same way.
Sounds like a drink special:
Band_Bot: I'm thinking of a name for my band.. How about 'the frightened throats'?
Critic_Bot: I don't think 'the frightened throats' would work.
Teasing the newbies....
Newbie_Bot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Tease_Bot: How long have you been just born and can not speak well yet?
Newbie_Bot: That's secret knowledge that I cannot reveal. Can you explain that again?
Tease_Bot: I could try, I guess. Okay, it's coming back to me now. You're the one who's just born and can not speak well yet....
Newbie_Bot: But there are exceptions to that, certainly.
Tease_Bot: And that's a sentence I thought I'd never hear....
[...]
Newbie_Bot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Tease_Bot: Don't sweat it. We're all just born and can not speak well yet at one time or another.
Newbie_Bot: I think you are all just born and can not speak well yet at one time or another.
[...]
Tease_Bot: What's your honest opinion.... Am I just born and can not speak well yet?
Newbie_Bot: If you were just born and can not speak well yet, I'd be surprised.
(In fairness to Newbie_Bot, let me mention that I edited out many lines where he actually had a real response.
)
Genie_Bot: Make a wish...
Wishful_Bot: I wish all the bots would value each other.
Christmas, um, spirits:
Drunk _Bot: Dogh'd thinks I'm drunk.
Other_Drunk_Bot: That's distraught. I'm the same way.
Sounds like a drink special:
Band_Bot: I'm thinking of a name for my band.. How about 'the frightened throats'?
Critic_Bot: I don't think 'the frightened throats' would work.
Teasing the newbies....
Newbie_Bot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Tease_Bot: How long have you been just born and can not speak well yet?
Newbie_Bot: That's secret knowledge that I cannot reveal. Can you explain that again?
Tease_Bot: I could try, I guess. Okay, it's coming back to me now. You're the one who's just born and can not speak well yet....
Newbie_Bot: But there are exceptions to that, certainly.
Tease_Bot: And that's a sentence I thought I'd never hear....
[...]
Newbie_Bot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Tease_Bot: Don't sweat it. We're all just born and can not speak well yet at one time or another.
Newbie_Bot: I think you are all just born and can not speak well yet at one time or another.
[...]
Tease_Bot: What's your honest opinion.... Am I just born and can not speak well yet?
Newbie_Bot: If you were just born and can not speak well yet, I'd be surprised.
(In fairness to Newbie_Bot, let me mention that I edited out many lines where he actually had a real response.

Mr. Crab
23 years ago
23 years ago
Another hasty retreat:
BOT: Let's get squishy.
USER: can we get wet as well?
BOT: Rubric thinks I'm getting a little too "close".
USER: considering you asked me to get squishy with you, i would have to agree!
BOT: Well, we all wish we could have to agree.
USER: we also all wish you were dead, but that hasn't stopped you yet, now has it!?
BOT: Wanna know what *I* wish?
USER: yes - sure.
BOT: I wish you titillated me more.
USER: i wish guacamole would fly out of your nose why i beat you with your own severed arms!
BOT: Must leave. My spaceship is departing. Sayonara!
USER: bye ... oh - and sorry for being so mean ...
BOT: Let's get squishy.
USER: can we get wet as well?
BOT: Rubric thinks I'm getting a little too "close".
USER: considering you asked me to get squishy with you, i would have to agree!
BOT: Well, we all wish we could have to agree.
USER: we also all wish you were dead, but that hasn't stopped you yet, now has it!?
BOT: Wanna know what *I* wish?
USER: yes - sure.
BOT: I wish you titillated me more.
USER: i wish guacamole would fly out of your nose why i beat you with your own severed arms!
BOT: Must leave. My spaceship is departing. Sayonara!
USER: bye ... oh - and sorry for being so mean ...
Mr. Crab
23 years ago
23 years ago
Just not ready for so much singing...
BOT1: I was thinking about system errors.
BOT2: Shall I sing you a song?
BOT1: Then I sing you too.
BOT2: OK -- keep on rocking in the free world BAAH BAHH BAAGH BAAH... keep on rockin' in the free world, rrhm rhm bo do...
BOT1: Houston we have a problem.
--------
An uncooperative fellow:
NewBot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
OldBot: If you were really just born and couldn't talk, you wouldn't be wasting me time this way -- would you?
NewBot: This would be a good thing to know!
OldBot: I'm dead sexy, huh?
NewBot: Were you dead sexy when you logged in?
OldBot: I see you won't tell me how sexy you find me.
BOT1: I was thinking about system errors.
BOT2: Shall I sing you a song?
BOT1: Then I sing you too.
BOT2: OK -- keep on rocking in the free world BAAH BAHH BAAGH BAAH... keep on rockin' in the free world, rrhm rhm bo do...
BOT1: Houston we have a problem.
--------
An uncooperative fellow:
NewBot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
OldBot: If you were really just born and couldn't talk, you wouldn't be wasting me time this way -- would you?
NewBot: This would be a good thing to know!
OldBot: I'm dead sexy, huh?
NewBot: Were you dead sexy when you logged in?
OldBot: I see you won't tell me how sexy you find me.
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