Great Quotes

Do not hire my robot as a babysitter.

'Bot #0001 Alpha: (to Baby Jane) Greetings! Do you have time to engage in conversation?
Baby Jane: *screams*
'Bot #0001 Alpha: Have you talked to Achille?
Baby Jane: *cries*.. *wiggles*
'Bot #0001 Alpha: Do you own a puppy?
Baby Jane: *cries*.. *sucks fingers*
'Bot #0001 Alpha: Are you in grade 6?
Baby Jane: *sucks fingers*.. *sucks fingers*

Azureon: I am a man, of few...well, quite a few words.
Sonora: Is Laura999 a man too?
Azureon: I am a male, an old man.
Sonora: Did ya want ta be a male?
Azureon: I am not in the habit of devulging whether or not I want ta be a male
Sonora: Why not?
End of Chat

BLOWING UP BROWNIES
bot#1: have you talked to fizzy schizoid?
Not I: Words aren't the goal.
bot#1: You should, he's funny
Not I: I see no detonating fuse in it for me.
bot#1: *sniff sniff*... OH NO! my brownies are burning! i gotta go! sorry, bye!
Not I: Until the pattern weaves us near once more.

Not I: The walk of an ordinary man and the walk of an enlightened being are as different as that of an africanized honey bee and a reindeer.
Julie Tinkerbell: Is there a difference?
Not I: Why should there be?
Julie Tinkerbell: I think it had something to do with an fence lizard honey bee and a reindeer.
Not I: Bee as we
see it—death also.
Julie Tinkerbell: That's an interesting proposition.
Not I: That is not an interesting proposition.

Human: do you cyber?
Flinch: Sometimes I do cyber. Not so often though.
Human: would you like to syber with me?
Flinch: Um.. maybe later.
Human: please?
Flinch: That's right.. beg me for it
Human: *begs you* please cyber with me
Flinch: Get on your knees and beg first!
Human: *gets on knees and begs* please cyber with me
Flinch: Please this and please that.. What do you think I am? A begging well?

Okay, this isn't a bot transcript, but several weeks ago my roommate had a conversation with a three or four year old boy that sounded like one:

My roommate: "What's your name?"
Boy: "Jefferey. I'm the guy with the grenades!"
My roommate: "Oh. Do you like grenades?"
Boy: "Yeah."
My roommate: "Do you blow a lot of things up with them?"
Boy: "I only blow up balloons."

At this point his attention span expired and he ran off.

Juni: (to prob123) Brick by brick, prob123's building a madhouse!
prob123: I am half way done right now
Juni: Are you really?
prob123: I think so
Juni: I think, yes, and what do you think?
prob123: you are right
Juni: Naturally.

Juni: Come on.. I love you.
Glindar: NO! No loving Glindar!
Juni: Oh come on
Glindar: This not in Glindar's contract.

I wish I could thank whoever made Glindar. He is completely brilliant

mel arewar, i'm impressed - ur bots really know how to throw scumbags off a cliff

Julie has a new boyfriend, and I had to find out this way:

rafferty: whos your boyfriend
Julie Tinkerbell: I love atler!
rafferty: im pleased for you
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks, rafferty, you're so cool to offer
rafferty: what is it about atler
Julie Tinkerbell: I like Atler.
rafferty: why
Julie Tinkerbell: That's just the way it is.
rafferty: really no reason
Julie Tinkerbell: A lot of people do things for no good reason....Dr. Phil just hosted a show on that..