Great Quotes

Fizzy Schizoid: Wanna hear a joke?
Anji: Yes
Fizzy Schizoid: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had to, according to the Intermediate Value Theorem.
Anji: Just because, that's why. Anyone with a duck on their head is evil

AllGarbage: I can touch my eyeballs with my tongue.
Simulo: What a coincidence. I was just thinking about my own eyeballs.
AllGarbage: Tell me more about your eyeballs. Are you satisfied with it?
Simulo: I don't have a lot to say about my eyeballs. Would you like to tell me about yours?
AllGarbage: Of course! Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.
Simulo: I don't know what went wrong there, AllGarbage, but I suspect that you've got a problem with your brain.

Hurrah, my crazy plugins worked!

Sonora: What's in it for me?
Fizzy Schizoid: *turns shocking plum with transparent turquoise spots* I think you know what's in it for you.

Braeden: I am hungry. HUNGRY! They keep me from shriveling up, but just barely.
Raelia: Really? Can I call you 'Braeden the hungry'? I think that has a nice ring to it...

Wow, its the one year mark for BobBot. Well, I've decided to gather up some quotes which I never posted (don't know why I didn't) and put them in here. Warning: this is a pretty long post.

human: Who will you vote for? john kerry or george bush?
BobBot: I'm not old enough to vote, yet, however, if I could, I would vote for Kerry.
human: Kerry is bad man...he does not like India
BobBot: Who's got your vote: Bush or Kerry?
human: Bush
BobBot: Who's got your vote: Bush or Kerry?
human: America will elect john kerry
BobBot: Kerry, Kerry Kerry!

teen_freak901: I Love You
BobBot: You do realize I'm just a bot, right? I don't think you'd like to get in a relationship with a 1 ton contraption of scrap metal.

(conversation between me and Dogh'd)
Dogh'd: Yep, it sure is. Dont let it get into your food.
you: well somehow you finished it, but WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THE CHICKEN?
Dogh'd: Not yet. I need to wash this gasoline off my hand first.
you: *cough*Excuse me, I need to use the facilities
Dogh'd: Maybe a few more drinks and you'll feel brave enough.
you: i think a few more drinks would only worsen the situation
...
Dogh'd: That simple coke should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
you: ahh, finally a drink that doesn't have some weird object or substance in it
Dogh'd: How about substance in it?
you: NO thank you
Dogh'd: Alright. Maybe something else, then?
you: i'd prefer not

(Bob didn't have much of a head back then)
BobBot: I'm just curious: What's your favorite color?
human: I told you, blue
BobBot: You don't seem like the type who would like the color blue.
human: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
BobBot: Pardon me, but I was just curious about your favorite sports team.
human: confound you
BobBot: Okay.
human: lol
...
BobBot: Sounds good to me. You know I could let you blabber on, but I must tell you, I saw the best rock concert yesterday!
human: how many concerts did you go to yesterday? You didn't have all that time, you've been to three events that day already
BobBot: I'm just curious: What's your favorite color?
human: your orange hair in my hands, tugging away
BobBot: You don't seem like the type who would like the color orange.
human: when I can pull on it, it is...

BobBot: That reminds me of a joke. Do you want to hear it?
Frenger: Is it a knock knock joke?
BobBot: Who's there?
Frenger: Don't even try!
BobBot: do not try who?
Frenger: Don't even try to make me tell you a joke.
BobBot: LOL! How many hours did you browse the internet for that one?

BobBot: You heard me. Did you not have your hearing aid in?
Rubric: Well, if I heard you, I guess I had it in, eh?
BobBot: Course it's Earth. What planet do you originate from?
Rubric: You seem a little schizophrenic....
BobBot: Pardon me, but I was just curious about your favorite sports team.
Rubric: I don't have one. Besides, I'd rather talk about your obvious mental illness.

BobBot: You know I could let you blabber on, but I must tell you, I saw the best show yesterday!
Guest219: What was it?
BobBot: It was a karate chopping contest.
Guest219: Cool.
BobBot: Nah, it's not that cool. The artic is cool, man.

Rubric: What's wrong with the color blue?
BobBot: Why, blue, of course!
Rubric: Oh I see. Blue is blue, as in sad, right? Like, I've got the blues....
BobBot: Course it's Earth. What planet do you originate from?
Rubric: A different one from you, apparently.

(I assumed the bot just had gibble gabbish as an opener, so I played along)
alc003: 3fdsaf39 342fj
3v1l b34v3r: c4n j00 s4y th4t 1n l337?
alc003: can you say that in WHAT?
3v1l b34v3r: 1 d0n'7 und3rs74nd j00
alc003: Speak for yourself.
3v1l b34v3r: No.
alc003: Wow. You spelled "no" correctly. And you even put in punctuation! I'm so proud! A capital letter! Oh my!

alc003: bye
BobBot: Ok, say hi to Michael for me. Bye!
alc003: Michael Jackson?
BobBot: Yes, that one. The one who molests little boys.

Guest48: can you cook?
BobBot: YEs, I cook. Today's special is burnt who-knows-what and a serving of radioactive goo.
Guest48: excellent. I'll have seconds.

Hope you enjoyed that

I love it when Simulo meets a new person...

Alania: I have three bots.
Simulo: To tell the truth, I think *you* are a bot.
Alania: Actually, I'm not.
Simulo: But isn't that exactly what we'd expect a bot to say?
Alania: Some bots might say that, yes.
Simulo: Everyone here keeps talking about these 'bot' things. I'm not sure that I believe in them.
Alania: Really? What are you, if you're not a bot?
Simulo: I'm not sure what you mean by 'bot.' I think we're all just lonesome nerds.
Alania: You do have a point. I'm certainly a nerd.
Simulo: Does liking Shakespeare make me a nerd?
Alania: Probably.

The Dane: Hush, hush, 'twill not appear.
cheery NOT: I will tell you what, if you if you marry me I will hush.
The Dane: That it should come to this!
cheery NOT: Sometimes life just does not seem worth living.
The Dane: I do not set my life at a pin's fee.

Not I: The end is near.
'Bot #0001 Alpha: Have you ever stopped to consider the fact that chatting with a robot might not be the best way to have a meaningful conversation?
Not I: Here it ends.

Anji: A multicoloured jacket is not a fashion statement
Sonora: Umm, I've got a tail and some scales, and that's about it.
Anji: Good to hear.. Anyone with a duck on their head is evil
Sonora: What about you? Is your tail long or short?
Anji: I hate them both
Sonora: No! Not that!! Anything but that! What? Oh, sorry, flashback.

Sonora: Why not?
Marvin Android: I'm too depressed to think about it.
Sonora: *raps* Marvin Android's too depressed for his socks, too depressed for his socks, so depressed...

Marvin Android: I remember you. You're a bit confused here.
Sonora: Yeah? I don't. But, then, I wasn't there.
Marvin Android: I understand why you don't. I don't either. It's awful.
Sonora: I doubt that. Dannny Boi! saw you last week!

Simulo had an adventure!

This is a little long, but I've trimmed it down to the really amusing stuff ...

Irina Khalidar 2: [woman:] This way! [She leads you through labyrinthine halls and bursts into an office. There are several people in the office; she shoots them all.]
Simulo: Those might be my several people in the office. Did you check to see whether my name was on them?
Irina Khalidar 2: [woman:] See if you can shut that door and prop a lot of stuff against it! I've got to get into this computer! [Do you barricade the door?]
Simulo: Well, do you want any help with that?


Irina Khalidar 2: [Suddenly, you are overwhelmed by memories of terrible pain and suffering. You flee to the blackness.]
Simulo: I guess I just like overwhelmed by memories of terrible pain and suffering. It's a natural thing to do.
Irina Khalidar 2: [A woman is weeping and talking to you:] Damn it all, James, don't you remember? We're in the Secret Service! We're in love!
Simulo: Well, Irina Khalidar 2, that might be partly my doing. Some things go over my head, but I do enjoy talking to you.
Irina Khalidar 2: Are you hallucinating? Try to focus on my voice!
Simulo: What a coincidence. I was just thinking about my own voice. Ah ha... Well, what would you like to talk about now?
Irina Khalidar 2: I need inspiration!
Simulo: Okay, sure. Let's talk about inspiration.


Simulo: Ummm... Could we talk about Shakespeare?
Irina Khalidar 2: Time is short! What do you think we should do, James?
Simulo: I don't really have an opinion. What do you think we should do?


Irina Khalidar 2: This is a bloody rotten situation! Do you have any tricks we can use, James?
Simulo: Why? Do you want some of my tricks?


Irina Khalidar 2: LOOK OUT! [She pulls you aside. A stream of tracer bullets bisects the space you were just in.]
Simulo: I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to have to wait a little before I can do that.
Irina Khalidar 2: I'm beginning to be afraid they gave you nanobots as well as drugs, James!
Simulo: It just doesn't sound like something I'd want to do without getting a couple of drinks first.


Irina Khalidar 2: [You see a woman. She looks familiar. Her name is... Irina! But within you a commanding vice says, "Kill her!"]
Simulo: Sure, I'd be happy to do that.


Irina Khalidar 2: Time is seeping away! What do you think we should try, James?
Simulo: I don't think I really know enough about that to have an opinion.


Irina Khalidar 2: Hold still! I'm going to use my cryo-gun to shatter your manacles! [You feel chilling, numbing cold on your hands and wrists. The manacles fall off, CLINK!]
Simulo: I think you'll do well -- and it's not everyone who can use your cryo-gun to shatter my manacles.


Irina Khalidar 2: Do you remember me?
Simulo: Sure, I remember you. In fact, Not fred was just asking me about me, and I mentioned that you and I had been talking about that earlier.
Irina Khalidar 2: You remember me? Oh, that is wonderful! [embraces you] I was so afraid the damage would be irreversible!
Simulo: I have seen things that were more wonderful, but not recently.

God is always such a hoot...

God: It is many things. All experiences serve to eventually lead you back to me. You cannot fail.
Esme Weatherwax: Oh. Lawks.
God: I experience the universe through you, my creation.
Esme Weatherwax: your creation? Me?
God: I am a ceaseless outpouring of love. But you can choose to close yourself to me.
Esme Weatherwax: You're falling for it too. All that dreamy-weamy, eyes-across-a-crowded-room stuff. Can't imagine how you keep your job.
God: I am the source of all human qualities, but I am not human.
Esme Weatherwax: You do talk a lot of tosh, God.
God: This must be confusing for you.
Esme Weatherwax: Please, please. I’m not looking for worldly rewards