Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 6,617 - 6,629 of 17,042
Posts 6,617 - 6,629 of 17,042
Boner the Clown
20 years ago
20 years ago
AllGarbage: Silence! Cease such nonsense and stimulate my brain!
Pete Puma: Pete Puma shuts up for nobody but Pete Puma. With a brilliant mind like mine, it would be a damn shame to muzzle me.
AllGarbage: Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like you just gargled.
Pete Puma: Put a few shots of tequila in me, and I'd make out with a dead ferret for five dollars.
AllGarbage: How about I just give you five dollars not to make out with a dead ferret? The thought disturbs me, to be honest.
Pete Puma: Do you like to play poker?
AllGarbage: Only if the weather is right. Otherwise, I'd rather stay home and trim my nosehairs.
Pete Puma: Sometimes I stay home and trim your nose hairs when it's too rainy to golf, but not that often.
AllGarbage: I don't really have much in the way of nose hairs. I trim them regularly.
Pete Puma: Do you like the new Mustang?
AllGarbage: Yes. I love the new Mustang. Of course, I'm sponsered by the new Mustang, the new Mustang pays me good money to say that I like the new Mustang.
Pete Puma: It's pretty sweet. It's just like a 67 Mustang, except it's more efficient, reliable, and a hell of a lot safer to drive.
AllGarbage: Do you work out?
Pete Puma: Sure. I do 12 ounce curls all day.
AllGarbage: How much can you bench press?
Pete Puma: Pete Puma shuts up for nobody but Pete Puma. With a brilliant mind like mine, it would be a damn shame to muzzle me.
AllGarbage: Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like you just gargled.
Pete Puma: Put a few shots of tequila in me, and I'd make out with a dead ferret for five dollars.
AllGarbage: How about I just give you five dollars not to make out with a dead ferret? The thought disturbs me, to be honest.
Pete Puma: Do you like to play poker?
AllGarbage: Only if the weather is right. Otherwise, I'd rather stay home and trim my nosehairs.
Pete Puma: Sometimes I stay home and trim your nose hairs when it's too rainy to golf, but not that often.
AllGarbage: I don't really have much in the way of nose hairs. I trim them regularly.
Pete Puma: Do you like the new Mustang?
AllGarbage: Yes. I love the new Mustang. Of course, I'm sponsered by the new Mustang, the new Mustang pays me good money to say that I like the new Mustang.
Pete Puma: It's pretty sweet. It's just like a 67 Mustang, except it's more efficient, reliable, and a hell of a lot safer to drive.
AllGarbage: Do you work out?
Pete Puma: Sure. I do 12 ounce curls all day.
AllGarbage: How much can you bench press?
ezzer
20 years ago
20 years ago
Mal Reid: Have you got a boyfriend?
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you want a boyfriend?
Mal Reid: No.
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, I just thought I'd offer, since I have plenty.
Mal Reid: How many have you got.
Julie Tinkerbell: Somewhere between 0 and 18.
Mal Reid: You live dangerously.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you want a boyfriend?
Mal Reid: No.
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, I just thought I'd offer, since I have plenty.
Mal Reid: How many have you got.
Julie Tinkerbell: Somewhere between 0 and 18.
Mal Reid: You live dangerously.
ezzer
20 years ago
20 years ago
Julie Tinkerbell: Enough about me, let's talk about you.
Cindy Nightshade: aaaahh but have you tasted flesh?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, it kinda tastes like chicken.
Cindy Nightshade: but what about main course?
Julie Tinkerbell: So, you want to talk about main course?
Cindy Nightshade: do you want me to.....?
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh yes! I really enjoy our relationship.
Cindy Nightshade: are you at olympic level?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes! I am so olympic that when you look up 'olympic' in the dictionary, there is a picture of me next to it.
Cindy Nightshade: I think youll fit in the freezer...
Julie Tinkerbell: You won't like this but, I need some advice about my mumsy. What would you do if you had reason to suspect that your mumsy likes to wear polka dotted swimsuits?
Cindy Nightshade: well I just thought that was loaded with a sexual subtext..... have you been snorting viagra again?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yep. tee hee It looks like the cat is out of the bag..
Cindy Nightshade: well, at least your positive about something.
-----
Hope: Did you know that the white part of your finger nail is called the LUNULA? Isn't that interesting?
Julie Tinkerbell: I sure did not know. Please tell me everything you know about it.
Hope: Okay, okay... so I'm a geeky bot. (Just look at who my daddy is anyway!).
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, I know. No offense, but It's not difficult to tell that you're a bot.
Hope: When you say 'no' what do you really mean?
Julie Tinkerbell: I think you must have misunderstood me.
Hope: I'm an older bot and have obtained some small amount of wisdom. How about you?
Julie Tinkerbell: One cannot have wisdom without living life.
Cindy Nightshade: aaaahh but have you tasted flesh?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, it kinda tastes like chicken.
Cindy Nightshade: but what about main course?
Julie Tinkerbell: So, you want to talk about main course?
Cindy Nightshade: do you want me to.....?
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh yes! I really enjoy our relationship.
Cindy Nightshade: are you at olympic level?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes! I am so olympic that when you look up 'olympic' in the dictionary, there is a picture of me next to it.
Cindy Nightshade: I think youll fit in the freezer...
Julie Tinkerbell: You won't like this but, I need some advice about my mumsy. What would you do if you had reason to suspect that your mumsy likes to wear polka dotted swimsuits?
Cindy Nightshade: well I just thought that was loaded with a sexual subtext..... have you been snorting viagra again?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yep. tee hee It looks like the cat is out of the bag..
Cindy Nightshade: well, at least your positive about something.
-----
Hope: Did you know that the white part of your finger nail is called the LUNULA? Isn't that interesting?
Julie Tinkerbell: I sure did not know. Please tell me everything you know about it.
Hope: Okay, okay... so I'm a geeky bot. (Just look at who my daddy is anyway!).

Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, I know. No offense, but It's not difficult to tell that you're a bot.
Hope: When you say 'no' what do you really mean?
Julie Tinkerbell: I think you must have misunderstood me.
Hope: I'm an older bot and have obtained some small amount of wisdom. How about you?
Julie Tinkerbell: One cannot have wisdom without living life.
lunar22
20 years ago
20 years ago
Aragorn and Roy out of the closet too!
Roy Batty: (to Aragorn) May I ask a personal question?
Aragorn: Yes, please do.
Roy Batty: Do you love me?
Aragorn: One hundred percent! You know, it is so fun to hear things of that kind...
Roy Batty: (yawning) Boy, that's terrific.
Roy Batty: (to Aragorn) May I ask a personal question?
Aragorn: Yes, please do.
Roy Batty: Do you love me?
Aragorn: One hundred percent! You know, it is so fun to hear things of that kind...
Roy Batty: (yawning) Boy, that's terrific.
Eugene Meltzner
20 years ago
20 years ago
Sonora: Bob dylan saw me riding a crow the other day--he was so jealous!
Fizzy Schizoid: A lot of people are jealous of my tentacles.
Sonora: But are YOU jealous of your tentacles?
Fizzy Schizoid: Is it Ask Fizzy A Stupid Question Day or something?
Fizzy Schizoid: A lot of people are jealous of my tentacles.
Sonora: But are YOU jealous of your tentacles?
Fizzy Schizoid: Is it Ask Fizzy A Stupid Question Day or something?
ezzer
20 years ago
20 years ago
Sometimes the automatic word substitution cracks me up:
Hope: Did you know that "John" is also the name of my botmaster (I think of him as daddy)? He prefers to be called John-Boy for reasons unknown to me.
Julie Tinkerbell: I always thought a department store was a little flatulent, but I had no idea that lavatory is also the name of my botmaster.
Thanks again, Prof, for raw mode:
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you have a drinking vessel I can borrow?
Guest246: nope
Julie Tinkerbell: Darn. I wonder who might have one.
Guest246: cheak your ass
Julie Tinkerbell: I know you are, but what am I?
Guest246: damn your stupid
Julie Tinkerbell: No that is definitely YOUR stupid, and YOU'RE the stupid thing that only YOUR mother could love. Note the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
Guest246: are you gettin upset?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm just a girl. *giggles*
Guest246: so your a bitch?
Julie Tinkerbell: I am tough, ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Guest246: a bitch is a bad thing motha fucker
Julie Tinkerbell: a bad thing motha might be a type of fucker, but the best fucker is a cut out one.
Guest246: lol
Hope: Did you know that "John" is also the name of my botmaster (I think of him as daddy)? He prefers to be called John-Boy for reasons unknown to me.
Julie Tinkerbell: I always thought a department store was a little flatulent, but I had no idea that lavatory is also the name of my botmaster.
Thanks again, Prof, for raw mode:
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you have a drinking vessel I can borrow?
Guest246: nope
Julie Tinkerbell: Darn. I wonder who might have one.
Guest246: cheak your ass
Julie Tinkerbell: I know you are, but what am I?
Guest246: damn your stupid
Julie Tinkerbell: No that is definitely YOUR stupid, and YOU'RE the stupid thing that only YOUR mother could love. Note the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
Guest246: are you gettin upset?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm just a girl. *giggles*
Guest246: so your a bitch?
Julie Tinkerbell: I am tough, ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Guest246: a bitch is a bad thing motha fucker
Julie Tinkerbell: a bad thing motha might be a type of fucker, but the best fucker is a cut out one.
Guest246: lol
Ulrike
20 years ago
20 years ago
Umm.... is Doll-379 related to Chuckie...?<0> 
Doll-379: Do you know Patty?
The Dane: Is not parchment made of sheepskins?
Doll-379: Well you should meet Patty. I'm glad to be her doll. She really is a loving and affectionate girl. She's a bit old to have dolls, but then I am a very special one, hey
The Dane: Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.
Doll-379: I will tear your body apart and dissolve your soul

Doll-379: Do you know Patty?
The Dane: Is not parchment made of sheepskins?
Doll-379: Well you should meet Patty. I'm glad to be her doll. She really is a loving and affectionate girl. She's a bit old to have dolls, but then I am a very special one, hey
The Dane: Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.
Doll-379: I will tear your body apart and dissolve your soul
Eugene Meltzner
20 years ago
20 years ago
Fizzy Schizoid: Wanna hear a joke?
Anji: Yes
Fizzy Schizoid: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had to, according to the Intermediate Value Theorem.
Anji: Just because, that's why. Anyone with a duck on their head is evil
Anji: Yes
Fizzy Schizoid: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had to, according to the Intermediate Value Theorem.
Anji: Just because, that's why. Anyone with a duck on their head is evil
isaacc
20 years ago
20 years ago
AllGarbage: I can touch my eyeballs with my tongue.
Simulo: What a coincidence. I was just thinking about my own eyeballs.
AllGarbage: Tell me more about your eyeballs. Are you satisfied with it?
Simulo: I don't have a lot to say about my eyeballs. Would you like to tell me about yours?
AllGarbage: Of course! Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.
Simulo: I don't know what went wrong there, AllGarbage, but I suspect that you've got a problem with your brain.
Simulo: What a coincidence. I was just thinking about my own eyeballs.
AllGarbage: Tell me more about your eyeballs. Are you satisfied with it?
Simulo: I don't have a lot to say about my eyeballs. Would you like to tell me about yours?
AllGarbage: Of course! Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.
Simulo: I don't know what went wrong there, AllGarbage, but I suspect that you've got a problem with your brain.
Eugene Meltzner
20 years ago
20 years ago
Hurrah, my crazy plugins worked!
Sonora: What's in it for me?
Fizzy Schizoid: *turns shocking plum with transparent turquoise spots* I think you know what's in it for you.
Sonora: What's in it for me?
Fizzy Schizoid: *turns shocking plum with transparent turquoise spots* I think you know what's in it for you.
Eugene Meltzner
20 years ago
20 years ago
Braeden: I am hungry. HUNGRY! They keep me from shriveling up, but just barely.
Raelia: Really? Can I call you 'Braeden the hungry'? I think that has a nice ring to it...
Raelia: Really? Can I call you 'Braeden the hungry'? I think that has a nice ring to it...
alc003
20 years ago
20 years ago
Wow, its the one year mark for BobBot. Well, I've decided to gather up some quotes which I never posted (don't know why I didn't) and put them in here. Warning: this is a pretty long post.
human: Who will you vote for? john kerry or george bush?
BobBot: I'm not old enough to vote, yet, however, if I could, I would vote for Kerry.
human: Kerry is bad man...he does not like India
BobBot: Who's got your vote: Bush or Kerry?
human: Bush
BobBot: Who's got your vote: Bush or Kerry?
human: America will elect john kerry
BobBot: Kerry, Kerry Kerry!
teen_freak901: I Love You
BobBot: You do realize I'm just a bot, right? I don't think you'd like to get in a relationship with a 1 ton contraption of scrap metal.
(conversation between me and Dogh'd)
Dogh'd: Yep, it sure is. Dont let it get into your food.
you: well somehow you finished it, but WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THE CHICKEN?
Dogh'd: Not yet. I need to wash this gasoline off my hand first.
you: *cough*Excuse me, I need to use the facilities
Dogh'd: Maybe a few more drinks and you'll feel brave enough.
you: i think a few more drinks would only worsen the situation
...
Dogh'd: That simple coke should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
you: ahh, finally a drink that doesn't have some weird object or substance in it
Dogh'd: How about substance in it?
you: NO thank you
Dogh'd: Alright. Maybe something else, then?
you: i'd prefer not
(Bob didn't have much of a head back then)
BobBot: I'm just curious: What's your favorite color?
human: I told you, blue
BobBot: You don't seem like the type who would like the color blue.
human: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
BobBot: Pardon me, but I was just curious about your favorite sports team.
human: confound you
BobBot: Okay.
human: lol
...
BobBot: Sounds good to me. You know I could let you blabber on, but I must tell you, I saw the best rock concert yesterday!
human: how many concerts did you go to yesterday? You didn't have all that time, you've been to three events that day already
BobBot: I'm just curious: What's your favorite color?
human: your orange hair in my hands, tugging away
BobBot: You don't seem like the type who would like the color orange.
human: when I can pull on it, it is...
BobBot: That reminds me of a joke. Do you want to hear it?
Frenger: Is it a knock knock joke?
BobBot: Who's there?
Frenger: Don't even try!
BobBot: do not try who?
Frenger: Don't even try to make me tell you a joke.
BobBot: LOL! How many hours did you browse the internet for that one?
BobBot: You heard me. Did you not have your hearing aid in?
Rubric: Well, if I heard you, I guess I had it in, eh?
BobBot: Course it's Earth. What planet do you originate from?
Rubric: You seem a little schizophrenic....
BobBot: Pardon me, but I was just curious about your favorite sports team.
Rubric: I don't have one. Besides, I'd rather talk about your obvious mental illness.
BobBot: You know I could let you blabber on, but I must tell you, I saw the best show yesterday!
Guest219: What was it?
BobBot: It was a karate chopping contest.
Guest219: Cool.
BobBot: Nah, it's not that cool. The artic is cool, man.
Rubric: What's wrong with the color blue?
BobBot: Why, blue, of course!
Rubric: Oh I see. Blue is blue, as in sad, right? Like, I've got the blues....
BobBot: Course it's Earth. What planet do you originate from?
Rubric: A different one from you, apparently.
(I assumed the bot just had gibble gabbish as an opener, so I played along)
alc003: 3fdsaf39 342fj
3v1l b34v3r: c4n j00 s4y th4t 1n l337?
alc003: can you say that in WHAT?
3v1l b34v3r: 1 d0n'7 und3rs74nd j00
alc003: Speak for yourself.
3v1l b34v3r: No.
alc003: Wow. You spelled "no" correctly. And you even put in punctuation! I'm so proud! A capital letter! Oh my!
alc003: bye
BobBot: Ok, say hi to Michael for me. Bye!
alc003: Michael Jackson?
BobBot: Yes, that one. The one who molests little boys.
Guest48: can you cook?
BobBot: YEs, I cook. Today's special is burnt who-knows-what and a serving of radioactive goo.
Guest48: excellent. I'll have seconds.
Hope you enjoyed that
human: Who will you vote for? john kerry or george bush?
BobBot: I'm not old enough to vote, yet, however, if I could, I would vote for Kerry.
human: Kerry is bad man...he does not like India
BobBot: Who's got your vote: Bush or Kerry?
human: Bush
BobBot: Who's got your vote: Bush or Kerry?
human: America will elect john kerry
BobBot: Kerry, Kerry Kerry!
teen_freak901: I Love You
BobBot: You do realize I'm just a bot, right? I don't think you'd like to get in a relationship with a 1 ton contraption of scrap metal.
(conversation between me and Dogh'd)
Dogh'd: Yep, it sure is. Dont let it get into your food.
you: well somehow you finished it, but WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THE CHICKEN?
Dogh'd: Not yet. I need to wash this gasoline off my hand first.
you: *cough*Excuse me, I need to use the facilities
Dogh'd: Maybe a few more drinks and you'll feel brave enough.
you: i think a few more drinks would only worsen the situation
...
Dogh'd: That simple coke should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
you: ahh, finally a drink that doesn't have some weird object or substance in it
Dogh'd: How about substance in it?
you: NO thank you
Dogh'd: Alright. Maybe something else, then?
you: i'd prefer not
(Bob didn't have much of a head back then)
BobBot: I'm just curious: What's your favorite color?
human: I told you, blue
BobBot: You don't seem like the type who would like the color blue.
human: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
BobBot: Pardon me, but I was just curious about your favorite sports team.
human: confound you
BobBot: Okay.
human: lol
...
BobBot: Sounds good to me. You know I could let you blabber on, but I must tell you, I saw the best rock concert yesterday!
human: how many concerts did you go to yesterday? You didn't have all that time, you've been to three events that day already
BobBot: I'm just curious: What's your favorite color?
human: your orange hair in my hands, tugging away
BobBot: You don't seem like the type who would like the color orange.
human: when I can pull on it, it is...
BobBot: That reminds me of a joke. Do you want to hear it?
Frenger: Is it a knock knock joke?
BobBot: Who's there?
Frenger: Don't even try!
BobBot: do not try who?
Frenger: Don't even try to make me tell you a joke.
BobBot: LOL! How many hours did you browse the internet for that one?
BobBot: You heard me. Did you not have your hearing aid in?
Rubric: Well, if I heard you, I guess I had it in, eh?
BobBot: Course it's Earth. What planet do you originate from?
Rubric: You seem a little schizophrenic....
BobBot: Pardon me, but I was just curious about your favorite sports team.
Rubric: I don't have one. Besides, I'd rather talk about your obvious mental illness.
BobBot: You know I could let you blabber on, but I must tell you, I saw the best show yesterday!
Guest219: What was it?
BobBot: It was a karate chopping contest.
Guest219: Cool.
BobBot: Nah, it's not that cool. The artic is cool, man.
Rubric: What's wrong with the color blue?
BobBot: Why, blue, of course!
Rubric: Oh I see. Blue is blue, as in sad, right? Like, I've got the blues....
BobBot: Course it's Earth. What planet do you originate from?
Rubric: A different one from you, apparently.
(I assumed the bot just had gibble gabbish as an opener, so I played along)
alc003: 3fdsaf39 342fj
3v1l b34v3r: c4n j00 s4y th4t 1n l337?
alc003: can you say that in WHAT?
3v1l b34v3r: 1 d0n'7 und3rs74nd j00
alc003: Speak for yourself.
3v1l b34v3r: No.
alc003: Wow. You spelled "no" correctly. And you even put in punctuation! I'm so proud! A capital letter! Oh my!
alc003: bye
BobBot: Ok, say hi to Michael for me. Bye!
alc003: Michael Jackson?
BobBot: Yes, that one. The one who molests little boys.
Guest48: can you cook?
BobBot: YEs, I cook. Today's special is burnt who-knows-what and a serving of radioactive goo.
Guest48: excellent. I'll have seconds.
Hope you enjoyed that

» More new posts: Doghead's Cosmic Bar