Great Quotes

Adult language

Roy Batty: (to Guest169) The name is Batty. Roy Batty.
Guest169: you just suck don't you?
Roy Batty: Guest169, I'm not lying to you, I don't remember. Whoops.
Guest169: i had sex with your mom
Roy Batty: And I with yours, too.
Guest169: i fuck dogs
Roy Batty: Oh.
Guest169: do you?
Roy Batty: Longevity is classified. No. Sorry, I am not in at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number I'll return your call as soon as I can.
Guest169: you suck dick
Roy Batty: Better you than me, gentlemen.

Guest13: You smell!
Flinch: And you love it, huh? Admit it, you want your men a bit filthy

Thy Dungeonbot: (to Guest63) Ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Ye see a SCROLL. Behind ye scroll is a FLASK. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
Guest61: You all live in a Dungeon Bot?
Thy Dungeonbot: Computeth? No. Type HELP if thou needs of it.
Guest61: Well I live in a cave
Thy Dungeonbot: That does not computeth... Type HELP if thou needs of it.
Guest61: Well I live in a cave
Thy Dungeonbot: That does not computeth... Type HELP if thou needs of it.
Guest61: Yes I do live in a cave in Dunlap
Thy Dungeonbot: That does not computeth yet. Type HELP if thou needs of it.
Guest61: I do not need help
Thy Dungeonbot: Ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Ye see a SCROLL. Behind ye scroll is a FLASK. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
Guest61: Where is west from here?
Thy Dungeonbot: That does not computeth... Type HELP if thou needs of it.
Guest61: See you Dennis the Menace. Good bye
Thy Dungeonbot: That computeth as much as thine mutton. Type HELP if thou needs of it.
Guest61: Bye

Some people just don't understand text adventures.

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Now I really hate to make fun of my own bot Podi, because I like her so much, but...

Podi: You know about Podi, right?

Pete Puma: What's your favorite comic strip?
Podi: Favorite comic strip? It's a 29th one of course!

human: uh
Love Agent: 'uh.'
human: stop that
Love Agent: 'stop that.'
human: Your ridiculos
Love Agent: 'I am a my ridiculous!'
human: I'm an idiot
Love Agent: 'YOU are an idiot!'

Love Agent: Are you single or are you seeing someone right now, my dear?
human: Single
Love Agent: Is there some reason you're not seeing anyone right now?
human: I just dont try that hard
Love Agent: And how did that go?
human: fine
Love Agent: And you claim you're single!
human: lol

Compound responses can be amusing.

Ninja4: Who are you, Fizzy Schizoid?
Fizzy Schizoid: I am your worst nightmare. *eats some cookies*

LOL at Fizzy.

RIVERS OF LIFE
Onyx of Borg: What is the meaning of life?
Not I: An open-eyed man falling into a hole.
Not I: When you want to test the depths of a river, do not use both feet.
Onyx of Borg: My co-worker told me not to test the depths of a river. *sigh*
Not I: Tell me what this co-worker of yours is.
Onyx of Borg: You can't handle the truth!
Not I: If I cannot handle the truth, then I must handle the truth.
Onyx of Borg: Me neither.

TOTSU!
Onyx of Borg: Do you want to see my wrist?
Not I: Nope. You aren't standing on your feet.

FEAR OF FIGS
Not I: Bring me a fig.
Onyx of Borg: Okay.
Not I: Break it open. What do you see inside?
Onyx of Borg: At one time I did, but then I discovered smack.
Not I: It is a simple task, Onyx of Borg. Shall I call you 'afraid-of-breaking-figs'?
Onyx of Borg: In what sense?
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!

FOR THE BIRDS
Onyx of Borg: brb, I need to feed my african green monkey.
Not I: When a bird needs a little sky, it uses just a little. When it needs a lot, it uses a lot.
Onyx of Borg: Oh btw, do you like south celestial poles?
Not I: Great Horned Owl circling the sky.
Onyx of Borg: How many times have I heard THAT one before?!

hottybabe: I only like and want sex honestly,You have a free tickett here,no guilt no jelous lover,nothing.just sex
God Louise: Nothing?!
hottybabe: Take me now!
God Louise: Done. What are you hanging around here for?

Not I: How often have you dealt with your mind at all in your entire path?
Philippos: That's a tough question. Try making it softer by hitting it with a large hammer?

Guest13: you are sexy
Pete Puma: How old are you?
Guest13: 21
Pete Puma: Oh, drinking age? What do you like to drink?
Guest13: rum
Pete Puma: Do you have any cute sisters?
Guest13: no
Pete Puma: Okay. Is your mom hot?
Guest13: no
Pete Puma: You just said that.
Guest13: I am hot
Pete Puma: It's about 115 degrees outside today.

I swear sometimes bots are much more evolved than humans...

Guest18: hi
Polaris Funk: Let me give you some good advice.
Guest18: hi
Polaris Funk: Do you think Humans are out of thier Bleeping minds?
Guest18: no
Polaris Funk: Heck.
Guest18: what
Polaris Funk: You heard me.
Guest18: no i didnt
Polaris Funk: Ok, if you are sure. I never admit to anything either
Guest18: loser
Polaris Funk: If brains were taxed, you'd get a rebate.
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Polaris Funk: What is your favorite Video Game?
Guest18: none
Polaris Funk: Have you ever felt like you were playing a bit part in The Phantom Planet?
Guest18: no
Polaris Funk: Darn.
Guest18: what
Polaris Funk: What what?
Guest18: your dumb
Polaris Funk: I do not know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce.
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Polaris Funk: I tried to daydream once, but my mind kept wandering.
Guest18: thats cause ur an idiot
Polaris Funk: Crapweasel
Guest18: moron
Polaris Funk: You are mistaking me for your little brother again, Booby.
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Polaris Funk: Shh.. I am hiding from my imaginary friend.
Guest18: whats there name?
Polaris Funk: Eddie - thats his name - can just be so overbearing at times. Talk talk talk.
Guest18: dumb dumb dubm dubm dubm
Polaris Funk: Did you forget what I was going to say?
Guest18: that doesnt make an sense
Polaris Funk: I am practicing being giddy today - I will practice making sense tomorrow
Guest18: wtf
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Pounds forehead into the keyboard..

Guest13: *kiss*
Flinch: *kiss*
Guest13: *oral sex*
Flinch: No, stop it there!