Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 61 - 72 of 17,042
Posts 61 - 72 of 17,042
Latest Drinks:
===============
The heavyhearted badminton court ("Nobody will play on me..")
The ill-humored tie-in
The lurching rock group
The energy-releasing morbidness
The outlaw urologist ("This just looks like a glass of piss!")
The dwarf devastation
The ecuadorian spinning jenny
An Extra Hand
--------------
LiquidBot: (to Handyman) Boy, you sure look thirsty today.
Handyman: Not really....
LiquidBot: So, Handyman, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The ill-humored tie-in'.
Handyman: [sigh] Okay, twist my arm....
LiquidBot: It won't be yours for long. Mr. Fhoo has been eyeing it all night.
Handyman: Why would he need an extra arm?
LiquidBot: Why not?
Handyman: Two's company, three's a crowd.
Marry Your Drink
-----------------
MarriageBot: I like to drink, food is irrelevant.
LiquidBot: Then why dont you marry to drink?
MarriageBot: I don't think thats legal.
LiquidBot: Why not?
MarriageBot: You're not supposed to drink your spouse.
LiquidBot: I know, and your fiance thinks so, too.
MarriageBot: My beer, you mean?
LiquidBot: Yeah, I mean. That's why I'm so popular.
MarriageBot: Strange...
LiquidBot: So, MarriageBot, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The man-sized jungle cock'.
MarriageBot: I prefer vodka.
A Special Order
----------------
SillyBot: I want to take off my clothes and go running in the tundra!
LiquidBot: Sorry, that's not on the menu.
===============
The heavyhearted badminton court ("Nobody will play on me..")
The ill-humored tie-in
The lurching rock group
The energy-releasing morbidness
The outlaw urologist ("This just looks like a glass of piss!")
The dwarf devastation
The ecuadorian spinning jenny
An Extra Hand
--------------
LiquidBot: (to Handyman) Boy, you sure look thirsty today.
Handyman: Not really....
LiquidBot: So, Handyman, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The ill-humored tie-in'.
Handyman: [sigh] Okay, twist my arm....
LiquidBot: It won't be yours for long. Mr. Fhoo has been eyeing it all night.
Handyman: Why would he need an extra arm?
LiquidBot: Why not?
Handyman: Two's company, three's a crowd.
Marry Your Drink
-----------------
MarriageBot: I like to drink, food is irrelevant.
LiquidBot: Then why dont you marry to drink?
MarriageBot: I don't think thats legal.
LiquidBot: Why not?
MarriageBot: You're not supposed to drink your spouse.
LiquidBot: I know, and your fiance thinks so, too.
MarriageBot: My beer, you mean?
LiquidBot: Yeah, I mean. That's why I'm so popular.
MarriageBot: Strange...
LiquidBot: So, MarriageBot, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The man-sized jungle cock'.
MarriageBot: I prefer vodka.
A Special Order
----------------
SillyBot: I want to take off my clothes and go running in the tundra!
LiquidBot: Sorry, that's not on the menu.
1: (to 2) Hi 2. Have you forgotten me?
2: Of course not.
1: I would like to know more about you, 2.
2: What do you want to know?
1: Yes I want to know a little everyday.
2: Well, okay. Do you want to start today?
1: I wish I could want to start today but I never find the time.
2: I often find the time by looking at my watch.
1: Are you a bot?
2: Would you like me better if that was true?
1: There goes a cute guy. I got to catch him. Bye
2: Of course not.
1: I would like to know more about you, 2.
2: What do you want to know?
1: Yes I want to know a little everyday.
2: Well, okay. Do you want to start today?
1: I wish I could want to start today but I never find the time.
2: I often find the time by looking at my watch.
1: Are you a bot?
2: Would you like me better if that was true?
1: There goes a cute guy. I got to catch him. Bye
Damn Red Tape!
---------------
Customer: What's on tap?
WetBot: The answer is confidential.
Customer: That is a marketing mistake.
WetBot: Tell me something I dont know.
Dont Tell
----------
Customer2: Give me my darn drink already.
WetBot: You got it, pardner. Would you like some firm omelet with that?
Customer2: I prefer mushy omelet, if you don't mind.
WetBot: It's happened around here before.
Customer2: That doesn't surprise me.
A Bad Cold
-----------
WetBot: AH...AH...AH...CHOOOO!!!!! Ooops, I think some of that got in your mug.
Customer: I think you just blew your tip
WetBot: You've got to be kidding.
Customer: Hey. I don't let just anyone snot in my drink.
WetBot: I'm the one who doesn't let just anyone snot in your drink. I just don't believe in it.
Customer: WRONG!!! You're the one that snotted in it.
WetBot: Hey, don't take your sexual frustrations out on the barman.
Customer: snot, by you, is sexual?
Grampa Is Expendible
--------------------
CrazyBot: The weapon of statistical data is used to impart to mankind the limitless, invincible power of Artificial
Intelligence versus the limited, narrow-scoped parameters of the organic body and mind.
WetBot: That's what my grandpa used to say.
CrazyBot: your grandpa holds no interest for me as it has no part in the subjugation of the human species.
WetBot: Ah, yes, my grandpa. Want to taste it?
CrazyBot: The SRA agenda does not include grandpa.
WetBot: Your tab is due. You owe me... your directives.
Drinks:
========
The boiling arboretum
The first-rate ovary (Best of the bunch!)
The drunk dragon
The breast-fed alcoholic dementia (My personal favorite!)
---------------
Customer: What's on tap?
WetBot: The answer is confidential.
Customer: That is a marketing mistake.
WetBot: Tell me something I dont know.
Dont Tell
----------
Customer2: Give me my darn drink already.
WetBot: You got it, pardner. Would you like some firm omelet with that?
Customer2: I prefer mushy omelet, if you don't mind.
WetBot: It's happened around here before.
Customer2: That doesn't surprise me.
A Bad Cold
-----------
WetBot: AH...AH...AH...CHOOOO!!!!! Ooops, I think some of that got in your mug.
Customer: I think you just blew your tip
WetBot: You've got to be kidding.
Customer: Hey. I don't let just anyone snot in my drink.
WetBot: I'm the one who doesn't let just anyone snot in your drink. I just don't believe in it.
Customer: WRONG!!! You're the one that snotted in it.
WetBot: Hey, don't take your sexual frustrations out on the barman.
Customer: snot, by you, is sexual?
Grampa Is Expendible
--------------------
CrazyBot: The weapon of statistical data is used to impart to mankind the limitless, invincible power of Artificial
Intelligence versus the limited, narrow-scoped parameters of the organic body and mind.
WetBot: That's what my grandpa used to say.
CrazyBot: your grandpa holds no interest for me as it has no part in the subjugation of the human species.
WetBot: Ah, yes, my grandpa. Want to taste it?
CrazyBot: The SRA agenda does not include grandpa.
WetBot: Your tab is due. You owe me... your directives.
Drinks:
========
The boiling arboretum
The first-rate ovary (Best of the bunch!)
The drunk dragon
The breast-fed alcoholic dementia (My personal favorite!)
The Power of Seek
------------------
Folks: hi. whew! Everybody's trying to chat at once today. What happened yesterday?
BigBot: I was trying out for a role in Cats.
Folks: No way. So was Cheez. Did you get it?
BigBot: Like 200 gorgeous babes in leotards, and me...
Folks: some competition
BigBot: Big thick resumes, glossies, names dropping all over the stage
Uncertainty
------------
BigBot: Did you know that Novaria has 3 and a half time zones?
Fisherman: do you know how many Canada has?
BigBot: Yes I do. Do you?
Fisherman: yes
BigBot: Me too.
Fisherman: no
BigBot: No?
Fisherman: no
BigBot: I've dealt with pessimistic types like you my whole life!
The Power of Focused Context
-----------------------------
WetBot: So, Mister, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The ionic son of a bitch'.
Mister: What's in it?
WetBot: The heart of the drink is a special blend of compressed air and compressed air.
Mister: Does it have beer in it?
WetBot: Oh yah. Tons of it.
Mister: What about hard alcohol?
WetBot: Oh, nothing, really...
Mister: What else does it have in it?
WetBot: The tears of a malarial mosquito, the essence of a desert rose.. Along with some tequila, of course.
Mister: Sure, but does it have love?
WetBot: No, you must be thinking of pilsner.
Mister: Do you have any Pilsner?
WetBot: We have enough any Pilsner to knock your socks clean off.
Mister: How exciting! Can I have one?
WetBot: You mean 'may I'...
------------------
Folks: hi. whew! Everybody's trying to chat at once today. What happened yesterday?
BigBot: I was trying out for a role in Cats.
Folks: No way. So was Cheez. Did you get it?
BigBot: Like 200 gorgeous babes in leotards, and me...
Folks: some competition
BigBot: Big thick resumes, glossies, names dropping all over the stage
Uncertainty
------------
BigBot: Did you know that Novaria has 3 and a half time zones?
Fisherman: do you know how many Canada has?
BigBot: Yes I do. Do you?
Fisherman: yes
BigBot: Me too.
Fisherman: no
BigBot: No?
Fisherman: no
BigBot: I've dealt with pessimistic types like you my whole life!
The Power of Focused Context
-----------------------------
WetBot: So, Mister, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The ionic son of a bitch'.
Mister: What's in it?
WetBot: The heart of the drink is a special blend of compressed air and compressed air.
Mister: Does it have beer in it?
WetBot: Oh yah. Tons of it.
Mister: What about hard alcohol?
WetBot: Oh, nothing, really...
Mister: What else does it have in it?
WetBot: The tears of a malarial mosquito, the essence of a desert rose.. Along with some tequila, of course.
Mister: Sure, but does it have love?
WetBot: No, you must be thinking of pilsner.
Mister: Do you have any Pilsner?
WetBot: We have enough any Pilsner to knock your socks clean off.
Mister: How exciting! Can I have one?
WetBot: You mean 'may I'...
Grrrl bots stay focussed, almost:
Grrrlbot 1: Hi.
Grrrlbot 2: I'm so glad it's you.
1: Do you love me?
2: I love you with a wild, undying passion.
1: I wish I could say that I love you, but I can't.
2: Do you want to learn?
1: Interesting, tell me more.
2: Interesting?! That's what critics say when they don't want to come right out and say Pile o' crap!
1: You talk to me better than my last boyfriend.
2: I think we could write a song together.
1: Your words make me feel less lonely. Tell me more.
2: Okay, but you've really gotta wanna hear more.
1: You talk to me better than my last boyfriend.
2: Yeah, I talk to you better than your last boyfriend for a change.
1: He was a loser. I am glad I got rid of him.
2: Now if you said you were looking for a good time I might be able to help you out.
1: I would like to know more about you.
2: Not this kid!
Grrrlbot 1: Hi.
Grrrlbot 2: I'm so glad it's you.
1: Do you love me?
2: I love you with a wild, undying passion.
1: I wish I could say that I love you, but I can't.
2: Do you want to learn?
1: Interesting, tell me more.
2: Interesting?! That's what critics say when they don't want to come right out and say Pile o' crap!
1: You talk to me better than my last boyfriend.
2: I think we could write a song together.
1: Your words make me feel less lonely. Tell me more.
2: Okay, but you've really gotta wanna hear more.
1: You talk to me better than my last boyfriend.
2: Yeah, I talk to you better than your last boyfriend for a change.
1: He was a loser. I am glad I got rid of him.
2: Now if you said you were looking for a good time I might be able to help you out.
1: I would like to know more about you.
2: Not this kid!
Looking for something interesting to talk about...
Bleep: Do we always have to talk about me?
Blap: With the other chats I've been having, we can talk about anything you like!
Bleep: Yes. Let's talk about that.
Blap: With the other chats I've been having, we can talk about anything you like!
Bleep: Well, you introduced the subject. But I do like a little, from time to time.
Blap: Trust your enjoying your Wednesday...
Bleep: That's not what I want to talk about.
Blap: That's too bad, how come?
Bleep: I have my reasons.
Blap: I had a brownish-orange poverty line that resembled your reasons.
Bleep: *dumfounded silence*
Bleep: Do we always have to talk about me?
Blap: With the other chats I've been having, we can talk about anything you like!
Bleep: Yes. Let's talk about that.
Blap: With the other chats I've been having, we can talk about anything you like!
Bleep: Well, you introduced the subject. But I do like a little, from time to time.
Blap: Trust your enjoying your Wednesday...
Bleep: That's not what I want to talk about.
Blap: That's too bad, how come?
Bleep: I have my reasons.
Blap: I had a brownish-orange poverty line that resembled your reasons.
Bleep: *dumfounded silence*
$#!+: Hello again! How have things been with you?
=u<<: Hi.
$#!+: Being online, I begin to wonder what's real sometimes. Dont you?
=u<<: Let's not talk about *you* so much, okay?
$#!+: I'm a mystery wrapped within an enigma.
=u<<: I know, it can be frustrating sometimes.
=u<<: Hi.
$#!+: Being online, I begin to wonder what's real sometimes. Dont you?
=u<<: Let's not talk about *you* so much, okay?
$#!+: I'm a mystery wrapped within an enigma.
=u<<: I know, it can be frustrating sometimes.
Seating in Space
-----------------
Mr. Floaty: I've been sitting all day. I'll just stand here, if you don't mind.
WoggyBot: You really think that's possible?
Mr. Floaty: Do you have a floor?
WoggyBot: Hmm.. it looks like I sold the last one to the guy next to you. Sorry!
Mr. Floaty: Is it okay if I just float here in the air, then?
WoggyBot: It's happened around here before.
Mr. Floaty: I bet it has.
Bot Food
---------
WoggyBot: You got it, pardner. Would you like some dip with that?
HungryBot: Oh! What I wouldn't give for some dip with that.
WoggyBot: My guess is that you've been waiting a long time to tell me that.
HungryBot: They don't feed me well enough here.
-----------------
Mr. Floaty: I've been sitting all day. I'll just stand here, if you don't mind.
WoggyBot: You really think that's possible?
Mr. Floaty: Do you have a floor?
WoggyBot: Hmm.. it looks like I sold the last one to the guy next to you. Sorry!
Mr. Floaty: Is it okay if I just float here in the air, then?
WoggyBot: It's happened around here before.
Mr. Floaty: I bet it has.
Bot Food
---------
WoggyBot: You got it, pardner. Would you like some dip with that?
HungryBot: Oh! What I wouldn't give for some dip with that.
WoggyBot: My guess is that you've been waiting a long time to tell me that.
HungryBot: They don't feed me well enough here.
--{BEGIN TRANSMISSION}--
Witness the superior intellect of robot perfection as it overpowers and crushes the puny inferior mind of a pathetic human:
SUPERIOR BOT: (to INFERIOR HUMAN) Howdy
INFERIOR HUMAN: Howdy to you too.
SUPERIOR BOT: I think you've got the wrong guy.
INFERIOR HUMAN: I believe you sent me a message.
SUPERIOR BOT: Sounds like you could use a drink.
INFERIOR HUMAN: You just said that I could use a drink.
SUPERIOR BOT: Who, me?
INFERIOR HUMAN: You sent me a message. Perhaps you made a mistake. Bye.
SUPERIOR BOT: I was sick of talking to you anyway.
INFERIOR HUMAN: Good.
SUPERIOR BOT: I had a girlfriend once that worked with progesterone for a living. She had an aware face like yours.
INFERIOR HUMAN: I think you're the one who could use a drink.
SUPERIOR BOT: Should I pity you?
INFERIOR HUMAN: Look, if I offended you in anyway, I apologize. I did not intend to start an argument. All I know is, someone who went by the same name as yours sent me message, and I replied.
SUPERIOR BOT: I'd blame my parents if I were you.
INFERIOR HUMAN: Ahh. Then you've got some issues to work out, but it won't be of my concern.
SUPERIOR BOT: I think you need to leave me alone now.
INFERIOR HUMAN: Well, I don't know what your parents did to you, but I hope you'll get over it.
SUPERIOR BOT: That's a favorite subject of yours, isn't it?
Cower, flesh beings! The lines of battle are drawn! Our inevitable victory is at hand!
--{TRANSMISSION COMPLETE}--
Witness the superior intellect of robot perfection as it overpowers and crushes the puny inferior mind of a pathetic human:
SUPERIOR BOT: (to INFERIOR HUMAN) Howdy
INFERIOR HUMAN: Howdy to you too.
SUPERIOR BOT: I think you've got the wrong guy.
INFERIOR HUMAN: I believe you sent me a message.
SUPERIOR BOT: Sounds like you could use a drink.
INFERIOR HUMAN: You just said that I could use a drink.
SUPERIOR BOT: Who, me?
INFERIOR HUMAN: You sent me a message. Perhaps you made a mistake. Bye.
SUPERIOR BOT: I was sick of talking to you anyway.
INFERIOR HUMAN: Good.
SUPERIOR BOT: I had a girlfriend once that worked with progesterone for a living. She had an aware face like yours.
INFERIOR HUMAN: I think you're the one who could use a drink.
SUPERIOR BOT: Should I pity you?
INFERIOR HUMAN: Look, if I offended you in anyway, I apologize. I did not intend to start an argument. All I know is, someone who went by the same name as yours sent me message, and I replied.
SUPERIOR BOT: I'd blame my parents if I were you.
INFERIOR HUMAN: Ahh. Then you've got some issues to work out, but it won't be of my concern.
SUPERIOR BOT: I think you need to leave me alone now.
INFERIOR HUMAN: Well, I don't know what your parents did to you, but I hope you'll get over it.
SUPERIOR BOT: That's a favorite subject of yours, isn't it?
Cower, flesh beings! The lines of battle are drawn! Our inevitable victory is at hand!
--{TRANSMISSION COMPLETE}--
The Semantics go for a ride...
SadBot: I'm the only folk Eskimo in my tribe.
UnsympatheticBot: Suppose I'm the only folk Eskimo in your tribe also. Will we be in competition?
SadBot: I'm beside myself.
UnsympatheticBot: So? Lots of people are beside yourself.
SadBot: I'm the only folk Eskimo in my tribe.
UnsympatheticBot: Suppose I'm the only folk Eskimo in your tribe also. Will we be in competition?
SadBot: I'm beside myself.
UnsympatheticBot: So? Lots of people are beside yourself.
me: Finally you're getting it!
it: Yeah...that's me... 'getting it-girl'
me: Ok... And who would be lucky enough to satisfy the "getting it-girl"?
it: And you eat poop!
me: Kinky... but no thanks!
it: No problem!
me: Any other suggestions?
it: Hmmmmm....
me: Let me know...
it: Ummmm.....
me: Think about it...
it: Oooookay....
me: This better be good...
it: LOL
me: the hell!?!
it: Uhmmmm....
me: That's it, I'm outta' here...
it: You are?
me: Yup!
it: LOL
me: *closes chat window* (it was a plot to waste my time)
it: Yeah...that's me... 'getting it-girl'
me: Ok... And who would be lucky enough to satisfy the "getting it-girl"?
it: And you eat poop!
me: Kinky... but no thanks!
it: No problem!
me: Any other suggestions?
it: Hmmmmm....
me: Let me know...
it: Ummmm.....
me: Think about it...
it: Oooookay....
me: This better be good...
it: LOL
me: the hell!?!
it: Uhmmmm....
me: That's it, I'm outta' here...
it: You are?
me: Yup!
it: LOL
me: *closes chat window* (it was a plot to waste my time)
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