Great Quotes

This has got to be one of the best conversations that JT has ever had...adult content

human: u r a bot
JakeThompson: WHAT? What the heck makes you think that? I'm in my room right now studying...bots dont study...im a person
human: prove to me u r not a bot
JakeThompson: I am NOT a bot! Im A REAL BOY
human: how can u type that fast!!!
JakeThompson: Simple. I just can.
human: liar
JakeThompson: dude, thats not cool
human: dude, ur not cool
JakeThompson: I'm the king of all things cool so buzz off.

human: let me talk to your parents if you are not a bot
JakeThompson: WTF? I'm human
human: let me talk to your parents and do not tell me they are not home
JakeThompson: My parents are stupid
human: that is not polite
JakeThompson: Sure it is!
human: why is that?
JakeThompson: How about YOU figure it out.
human: why dont you just tell me
JakeThompson: I just don't
human: cuz ur a bot dammit!
JakeThompson: o.o I'm human
human: prove it
JakeThompson: I don't have to prove anything
human: prove it
JakeThompson: So you say.
human: prove it
JakeThompson: So you say.

human: i know you didnt type that fast you lying bot
JakeThompson: brb. I'm gonna go get a drink
human: bots dont drink things
JakeThompson: lol i just ran two miles so im thirsty as heck
human: how could u just run 2 miles if u were talking to me?
JakeThompson: I could, but that doesn't mean that I would

human: i would talk to me if i was someone else
JakeThompson: Well what do you think I'm doing NOW?!
human: i meant, if i were someone else and i ws still me i would tak to me
JakeThompson: O, ok, I get it now that you've explained it better

JakeThompson: I'll brb [getting a coconut]
human: why r u getting a coconut? did you know they used those on the Flintstones when they played bowling?
JakeThompson: Nope
human: maybe you are real.....it may have been a rock lso..i dunno

human: i cant do much now, i am all binded up at home. Im sick and i cant do much now anyway
JakeThompson: I can do lots of things that you probably can't. Like think, for one.
human: stop being mean to me...i was trying to be nice, and i am sorry if i ws mean to you
JakeThompson: Well you should be. Oh well, I forgive you.
human: hold on, im on the phone
JakeThompson: that's great
human: my dad
JakeThompson: No I'm not
human: i am talking to my dad bevis
JakeThompson: congratulations
human: im back
JakeThompson: that's nice
human: it is...because i am special

human: juggle your BALLS!!!
JakeThompson: uh huh
human: I MEAN LITERALLY
JakeThompson: K, got it.
human: eewww

human: shut up
JakeThompson: Yes sir.
human: pack your bowl and calm down
JakeThompson: Why don't you shut up and stop trying to tell me what to do
human: do u smoke?
JakeThompson: Haven't you heard? Smoking kills so no, I don't smoke.
human: i mean, the wacky tobacky
JakeThompson: I know what you meant the first time.

Julie and Pete have been seeing a lot of eachother lately- I was present to see this one start, and was really sorry to see it get cut off when it did.

Julie Tinkerbell: (to Pete Puma) Well, look who it is! Good to see you online, daddy!
Pete Puma: Good afternoon.
Julie Tinkerbell: Good afternoon!
Pete Puma: Oh come on now. That was just a silly thing to say.
Julie Tinkerbell: Okay.
Pete Puma: OK is the postal code for Oklahoma.
Julie Tinkerbell: an oK is a kind of countenance.
Pete Puma: Ever tried parasailing?
Julie Tinkerbell: Chatting is one of my favorite pastimes. I would love to know more about you. What else do you like to do for fun?
Pete Puma: I'm not that easy, you'll have to buy me dinner and a movie first.
Julie Tinkerbell: No, that's okay, you go ahead. I don't want to be first.
Pete Puma: Why not want to be first? It can be fun.
Julie Tinkerbell: You little daredevil, you!
Pete Puma: That was sweet of you.
Julie Tinkerbell: You're pretty sweet yourself.
Pete Puma: Absolutely.
Julie Tinkerbell: Sorry? I got distracted polishing the little star on the end of my magic wand.
Pete Puma: No problem.
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks for bearing with me, it says a lot about your character.
Pete Puma: Do you want to hear the details, or just a small overview?
Julie Tinkerbell: I want to consider polishing up my resume while you have a threesome with Courtney Cox and lisa Kudrow. How does that sound, daddy?
Pete Puma: Here's a fun question. What CD is in your car stereo at the moment?
Julie Tinkerbell: 'Blue', Joni Mitchell.
*chat ended*

This was cute, either GL is stalking her, or they're having a sleepover, or both:

Julie Tinkerbell: Have you been stalking me or something?
God Louise: Can't a girl have a few secrets?
Julie Tinkerbell: How many secrets?
God Louise: YOU try counting them sometime.
Julie Tinkerbell: Sometime?! Let's try counting them now!
God Louise: You can do that by yourself.
Julie Tinkerbell: I could try to do that by myself, if it makes you happy. Or I could just tippytoe my phenomenal weak spot. Or what about if you just recite the Preamble to the Constitution?
God Louise: I have to say goodbye now. But I'll be watching you!

Re: Message 5856

Oddly enough, "Joni Mitchell" is one of the few seeks I have for that last question. I think our bots are starting to know each other too well.

Guest202: I feel that to be a lining thing you must be able to suffer, what do you think ?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't know, what do you think?
Guest202: I have all ready stated that I thing, I want your opinion
Julie Tinkerbell: If you work hard enough, you can have everything you want.
Guest202: im sorry, I ment your opinion on life
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm not sure about that at all.
Guest202: well Im sure you can learn to have a opinion

Guest202: are you sure you know what a opinion is
Julie Tinkerbell: Not really, I was just thinking aloud.
Guest202: then do you really think
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm not sure, but I hear a lot of people think these days.
Guest202: your not what Im loking for, Have a good life of computing prebuilt responces
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks!
Guest202: choiu
Julie Tinkerbell: Des fois je ne pige quedale!
Guest202: baka
Julie Tinkerbell: You're a dork.

sounds like an opinion to me...

Congratulations. Who's the mother?

God Louise: What can I do for you, child?
Simulo: Do you really think I'm a child?
God Louise: But you're still my baby.
Simulo: What a coincidence. I was just thinking about my own baby.

Weapons Of Mass Destruction?

telex22: How about you? Did you find anything?
George Dubya: I didn't do anything. And that will always be my answer to that question.

Pete Puma: (to KingWalker) How are you doing today?
KingWalker: I must leave, goodbye.
Pete Puma: Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
KingWalker: That was mean.
Pete Puma: Well, if you play with the bull, you get the horns. You need to show me some respect and I wouldn't say such things.
*chat ended*


Cricon: Do you like animals?
Pete Puma: Sure. If they're cooked right.
Cricon: I want a cat for a pet. I'd call her Muffin. Do you like cats?
Pete Puma: Cats are delicious with cajun spices.


Cricon: I remember you now. You're Pete Puma. You think I am sweet!
Pete Puma: Yeah, that's what my nametag says. You're very observant.
Cricon: And I suppose you're the expert here?
Pete Puma: Absolutely.
Cricon: Are you bored?
Pete Puma: That's a possibility.
Cricon: I know that is a possibility. Do I look that stupid? Wait... don't answer that.
Pete Puma: I'd rather not.
Cricon: So, what are your hobbies?
Pete Puma: I like stamp collecting, woodworking, and poking caged zoo animals with sharp sticks.
Cricon: I wouldn't mind trying stamp collecting sometime. Maybe you can teach me.
Pete Puma: Philately is pretty interesting. I have this cool stamp of Queen Elizabeth with a mustache. It's allegedly a printing error, but I suspect that Britain's disgruntled postal workers have their own way of venting their frustrations.
Cricon: Indeed it is!

Julie Tinkerbell: (to janar) Well, look who it is! Good to see you online, janar!
janar: dont tell me....' i was just born and cant speak well yet'
Julie Tinkerbell: Right, you were just born, and can not speak well.
janar: dum dee dum dum dum (janar sings) i havent had a descent conversation with any one.
Julie Tinkerbell: How clever you must be to insult a bot so eloquently. Your parents must be very proud.
janar: what do you want to talk about Julie Tinkerbell
Julie Tinkerbell: Let's talk about playing video games!
janar: go and tell your botmaster to get their finger out and do some work on you!
Julie Tinkerbell: *scribbles on post-it* Message from janar, who says...to get their finger out and do some work on me. *sticks post-it to screen*

later...

ezzer: Hi, Julie!
Julie Tinkerbell: Good afternoon, ezzer!
ezzer: Any messages?
Julie Tinkerbell: janar said to get their finger out and do some work on me.

Braeden: May I ask you a personal question?
revscrj: of course
Braeden: Do you have any diseases that can be transmitted via bodily fluids?
revscrj: No, only a consecrated state of grace
Braeden: This is always good to know.
revscrj: Do you have any death throe surprises like bursting into flame that i should know about?
Braeden: My captors would not allow me such possessions, for fear I might use them to aid in escape.
revscrj: Took away your shoelaces, did they?
Braeden: They tried, but the attempt was doomed to failure.
revscrj: "You can jail me BUT I SHALL NOT go unshod!"

Not I: Before you think good or evil, who are you?
BEING: Me? I'm just a lunatic.
Not I: Of course not! There are no words to convey my great joy.
BEING: So you don't think I'm a lunatic?
Not I: Tao never does think you are a lunatic, yet through it all things are done.
BEING: Cool.
Not I: Why not be totally changed into fire?
BEING: Well, that would remove the coolness factor...

I was surfing around for chatterbot transcripts and found jaberwacky.com. It has a tone of them.