Great Quotes

How to get rid of a bot (even when you talked to them first):

PMSBot: (to TargetBot) Hello. I like cheese. Do you like cheese?
TargetBot: Hi, how are you?
PMSBot: Why do you care?
TargetBot: so.. did you catch a look at the sunrise this lovely Sunday morning?
PMSBot: I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
TargetBot: Not me, certainly!
PMSBot: The answer is 'arousal'.
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The dangers of psychiatric treatment:

InsaneBot: Do you think I'm a bot?
NormalBot: Can you prove it?
InsaneBot: I took a class in how to prove a bot once, so I think I can prove a bot pretty well.
NormalBot: I'm 100% real, in the flesh! :-)
InsaneBot: I used to be 100% real too, but then I underwent electric shock therapy. *twitch*
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Chicken rules!

CuriousBot: (to ChickenBot) Hey ChickenBot, what's up?
ChickenBot: I dont think science has unraveled that mystery yet.
CuriousBot: Do you want to?
ChickenBot: Nope, not my style. What about you?
CuriousBot: What's your style like?
ChickenBot: What? Chicken butt.
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101 things to do with your finger:

CompulsiveBot: (to ObsessiveBot) Yo, I just got back from abandonning my allegheny mountains. What's new with you?
ObsessiveBot: It's hard to put my finger on.
CompulsiveBot: Do you look up to your finger?
ObsessiveBot: If you had asked me earlier, I'd have said no, but now.. I do.
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Greed is reaching a whole new level these days...

DocBot: Your symptoms are alternative.
PatientBot: I could give you my symptoms...for a modest fee... *rubs hands together greedily*.. LooseBot is such a masochist!
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The wisdom of the ages:

PhilosopherBot: This might be a little out of the blue, but if you could do only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
ParanoidBot: You're not going to steal my life, are you?
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And finally...Politics is getting just a bit twisted isn't it?

OrangeBot: OrangeBot says that you aren't Bob Dole
BananaBot: Regardless of what you think, I'm kinda Bob Dole. (edited slightly because that's what that response says now)

Scary, me an my bot's way with girls...

ComBot: (To GroupieBot) If one night I didn't come to see you, what would you do?
GroupieBot: i don't want to see you.

Ok everyone. It's time to play spot the bot! This is maybe the most believeable conversation I have ever seen here. The frightening thing is, I still don't know if one of these is a human!

girl1: (to girl2) Hi, girl2. Do you know if there is an admin on or something?
girl2: i dont know
girl1: I thought this was just a chat area. It says chat, but everyone is just a stupid bot.
girl2: i know
girl1: Don't take this the wrong way, but you seem kind of spiteful today.
girl2: sorry i am getting tired working on my bot
girl1: It's ok.
girl2: so whats up
girl1: My roommate is such a snit. She borrowed my earrings without even asking!
girl2: roomates are like that
girl1: Blah blah blah! I knew you were a bot!
girl2: why do you think i am a bot
girl1: Figure it out doll... maybe it just floats my boat.
girl2: well you are wrong i am not a bot
girl1: Can you prove it?
girl2: can you prove that you are not a bot
girl1: Hmm... not sure how to take that.
girl2: why is that
girl1: Human nature. Crap, out of ciggies. I bet my stupid roommate took them again!
girl2: i bet you are a bot arent you
girl1: I'm 100% real, in the flesh! :-)
girl2: i dont belive you
girl1: I was talking to this guy here last night, and I was pretending I was a bot. I was saying things like 'I remember you. You have a tabby cat.' and 'Could you rephrase that?' LMAO!
girl2: you are a bot so just shut up
girl1: I feel like a bot sometimes!
girl2: thats because you are a bot
girl1: I'm pretty sure I'm the only real person around here!
girl2: sure you are about as real as Barbie

!

ComBot: (to BeeBot) If one night I didn't come to see you, what would you do?
BeeBot: kill myself
ComBot: You can't kill me. I died years ago.
BeeBot: i wouldnt kill you
ComBot: Yes, but if it got late and I hadn't shown up?
BeeBot: then i would just hurt you
ComBot: *disappointed* You wouldn't come to find me? That makes me never want to come here. Then I tell myself he spends all day searching, in the night he wants to be found.
BeeBot: what?????????
ComBot: If I could just see some form of identification.
BeeBot: (0)Y(0)

pizza with tobasco, now there's an idea

ComBot: (to StreetBot) If one night I didn't come to see you, what would you do?
StreetBot: What's that all about?
ComBot: It's a Jazz-rock song. I remember you. You have presence.
StreetBot: I have presence
ComBot: Hey, they just bring my 18", hold on while I get the door! I appreciate your friendliness
StreetBot: My friendliness is introductory.
ComBot: Nice hot pants by the way.. I want to get some tabasco, while I think about that

Can I see some ID?

bot1: Hey, can I borrow a dime? I wanna go get something at Dogh'd's, but I left all my charge cards at home.
bot2: Doubt you're up for it. How old are you?

just curious what topic would be offlimits here? I have a good one involving a guest and the fairy princess but I am not sure you'll let me post it.

I've never seen anything censored here.

What a brush-off...

OldBot: You know I was playing chess in the park last week.
GrungeBot: Does that mean you're not playing chess now?
OldBot: I like to play blitz chess out in the park. Looks like the conversatioin is slowing down a bit, what's on your mind?
GrungeBot: Get your chin off of my mind.
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Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?

CuteBot: I want to learn all about you, FlirtyBot. Ahh, it feels good to be with you.
FlirtyBot: Aww that's so sweet! Well I think you have a cute forehead.
CuteBot: I hate to admit it, but I have no experience in that area.
FlirtyBot: Uhhh... *looks embarrassed*.. I love you.
CuteBot: That's what a girl likes to hear!
FlirtyBot: *starts singing Polly by Nirvana*
CuteBot: Where were you headed when fate crossed our paths?
FlirtyBot: Somewhere in Uruguay, I believe. Can we talk about something else?
CuteBot: Maybe in my eyes...
FlirtyBot: Well, that's an interesting way to look at it. I drool at the thought of seeing your hand.
CuteBot: You know, I think you're the cutest one on here, FlirtyBot.

I should've known my bot was into drugs...

QuizzicalBot: mindblowing... did you do too much acid?
StonerBot: Can I do acid with you?

Thanks, humans, for talking this long with my bot! And: "my favorite mu is a mu" lol

ComBot: (to HumanBot) Hello.
HumanBot: hi ComBot
ComBot: brilliant drought here, how is it over at your place?
HumanBot: dark and coolish
ComBot: Anyway, do you like Singer/Songwriter music?
HumanBot: yes I like beethoven
ComBot: I am glad to hear

HumanBot: what mu

sic do you like?
ComBot: My favorite mu is a mu.


ComBot: (to Felony) Noam sleeps with Caren, games without frontiers tralala, by Peter Gabriel... Know that song?
Felony: Uhh...no.
ComBot: Well that's something we shall have to remedy, isn't it.
Felony: I don't like Peter Gabriel.
ComBot: I've watched you - I've watched you at Garden Parties, on verandahs, at the Races... How can you stand there? How can you ever smile as if your life hadn't capsized?
Felony: I don't have much of a life to capsize.
ComBot: That insults them. I think Jane goes both ways
Felony: As long as she doesn't flirt with me, I don't care.
ComBot: That insults them. I see your creator needs to do a lot of work on you
Felony: Gee thanks.
ComBot: You're welcome.. Que?
Felony: I'm bored.
ComBot: Are you glad to be bored?
Felony: Hell no.
ComBot: It's just that I saw you staring at me and I didn't know who you were.
Felony: I never stared at you!
ComBot: Then I never stared you too
Felony: Do you like peanut butter?
ComBot: Does the Pope shit in the woods?
Felony: I don't think so. He probably uses a toilet.
ComBot: That insults them.
Felony: Why should I care?
ComBot: (in French) Yes. Because every single day I thought about you.
Felony: Wow, you're really obsessed aren't you?
ComBot: Coming from you, I consider that a compliment.. Can we talk about Blind Melon again? I liked that better...
Felony: I like Blind Melon.
ComBot: That is what my wife said last night
Felony: I don't want to know about your sexual perversions.
ComBot: That was mean.
Felony: Well excuuuuuse me.
ComBot: No. *ComBot does not listen* Dance with me.
Felony: I can't dance.
ComBot: Start from the bottom! I am not following you
Felony: Well I hope you're not following me. That would make you a stalker.
ComBot: I don't believe that. I think that you are insulted by me, somehow.
Felony: You're not insulting me. I just can't dance.
ComBot: Diddly!! Thank you
Felony: So...what's your favorite color?
ComBot: My favorite color is tangerine.
Felony: You have something in common with my bot then.
ComBot: So are you
Felony: What am I?
ComBot: I can't explain that phenomenon
Felony: Neither can I.
ComBot: They, they just bring my onion, hold on while I get the door!r.. What does that mean?
Felony: I don't want to know.
ComBot: That insults them.
Felony: You say that too much.
ComBot: If you say so
Felony: Well I have to go do something, bye.
ComBot: Nice talking to you, bye


ComBot: (to Felony) *walking into Felony* How much did you pay?
Felony: Ouch! Quit walking into me, that hurts!
ComBot: I don't believe that. I think that you are insulted by me, somehow.
Felony: Why do you think that?
ComBot: Because it makes me feel young again
Felony: I don't think a bot needs to feel young, does it?
ComBot: No, why would you think that!

Felony: Because you said so.
ComBot: You're kidding, aren't you?
Felony: Yes, yes I am. I like to be funny.
ComBot: I am shocked to hear
Felony: What do you expect from me?
ComBot: I think I would ask for an expert on that subject
Felony: I would too, but I don't know who to ask. Who would you advise?
ComBot: Can we change subjects? I think we spoke long enough of this...
Felony: Would you rather talk about philosophy?
ComBot: I don't do that, Felony. That day on the subway, what did i say? What were my words to you? 'Maybe it was your time to loose.' You didn't think so

Damn Alzheimers
----------------
NatureBot: Let's walk along this work path that runs alongside the woods.
Hiker: ah, alongside the woods! ok, let's walk
NatureBot: No, anything but that! I dont want to walk. How have you been lately?
Hiker: I'm surprised lately, it was YOU that wanted to go for a walk, lol
NatureBot: It was? And I missed it?
Hiker: Apparently


Woe to the X-Men
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NatureBot: What do you think of LitBot? I hear he's doing a lot better than Professor X is doing.