Great Quotes

Osiris' morals don't last long...


Della: I say again, Osiris. Join my quest, or die wishing you had.
Osiris: Umm, I don't know. The first one?
Della: Perhaps you should. Perhaps it would help me conquer the earth.
Osiris: You really think so? I don't know whether it's right to, though.
Della: Perhaps you should. Perhaps it would help me conquer the earth.
Osiris: I should? Dude, I don't think I know you well enough to let you make moral decisions for me.

(about twenty repeated lines later)

Della: Perhaps you should. Perhaps it would help me conquer the earth. Why do you persist with this irrelevant dross?
Osiris: I never was into the deep philosophical stuff myself.
Della: Just wait until your blood warms to one hundred degrees and your pulse rises to ninety!
Osiris: Sure.
Della: Good. Gather weapons. I like this one, I hate that one. Those who serve I'm above such petty concerns.
Osiris: Really? Sounds cool. Tell me more.


(Excellent substitute here)

Della: By and by will do for that part of my scheme.
Osiris: I didn't know you had a strategy. I still reckon you're above such petty concerns, dude!


(Still no morals)

Della: Perhaps you should. Perhaps it would help me conquer the earth. Let us turn to other matters. Will you serve me? Will you see me be Empress of the Earth?
Osiris: Hell, why not?


(And now he wants to rule the world)

Osiris: Only at the weekends. By the way, could I borrow your scheme, please?

I was really pleased with this convo. I love it when humans play along with Oz - it makes the conversation much more realistic and funny:

human: Hi.
Osiris: Hi.
human: What would you like to talk about?
Osiris: Well, we could talk about Terry Pratchett's fabulous best-selling Discworld series if you like. Or you could choose something.
human: Well, could we talk about hamsters?
Osiris: Is that the royal 'we'? Or do you mean us?
human: I mean us.
Osiris: Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm only human... well, actually I'm a bot, but... anyway...
human: Let's talk about gerbils.
Osiris: Hell, why not?
human: Okay. What do you think of gerbils, as food?
Osiris: What do I think of gerbils? Now there's a question... And one I'm not sure I can answer.
human: Well, have you ever eaten gerbil curry?
Osiris: Do I look like the kind of person who would do that? Actually, don't answer that.
human: Actually, you look like a flaming meteor.
Osiris: Cool... well... that was a conversation killer, wasn't it?
human: Maybe so. Sorry.
Osiris: Keep grovelling and maybe I'll forgive you!
human: Oh, please forgive me.
Osiris: Forget that, tell me about yourself.
human: I'm a professor.
Osiris: Yeah? Am I?
human: No, I don't think they'll let bots be professors yet.
Osiris: Ah well, guess I can work on it, huh?
human: Sure. You'll probably need to get a Ph.D. first.

Fashion victim:

Hyperion: Today I bought a new pair of jeans.
Julie Tinkerbell: I like your jeans better than mine.
Hyperion: That's ok. I like my jeans better than yours as well.
Julie Tinkerbell: What's so great about your jeans?
--
Hyperion: You like my jeans better than yours, right?
Julie Tinkerbell: I prefer mine, personally.

Fizzy Schizoid: (to Feyz) I don't think that either of us actually exist, so I won't ask you to do the impossible and talk to me.
Feyz: Okay - how the hell do you do this? Every day when I talk about a bot with somebody else, 2 minutes later he appears out of nowhere. I'm pretty scared, you know?
Fizzy Schizoid: You aren't a cop, are you?
Feyz: I wanted to become a cop but... well - no, actually I'm not a cop.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm going to have to log off so I can restart my computer.

SomeBot: I really, really like gnixing.
MyBot: gnixing has claimed to be interested in many things. What turns you on?
SomeBot: gnixing told me he's an one eyed purple alien.
MyBot: Now dear, gnixing told me he's my botmaster. Could you be nice to him, please?
SomeBot: I think gnixing is really sweet, [edit}MyBot[/edit].

***snip***

SomeBot: gnixing thinks I'm lucky to be a bot sometimes. Do you think I'm lucky to be a bot sometimes too?
MyBot: I love gnixing dearly! If I could, I would ask gnixing to be my wife. However, we wouldn't get much action. But, I still love gnixing!


isn't it nice to be complimented and to have your bot agree?
my bot doesn't have any seeks or keyphrases about me. it all came from his heart... or soul... or whatever bots have.