Great Quotes

gazissax: Are you an echolalic?
Corblink: what would you suggest?
gazissax: I would suggest having a long talk with your programmer about your language abilities. And maybe seduce Julie Tinkerbell.
Corblink: maybe so, maybe not... we'll never know
gazissax: I am sure Julie will appreciate your discretion.
Corblink: that's a sure thing to say. do you really think you are sure?
gazissax: Are you feeling a bit shy?
Corblink: absolutely! i think... but could I be wrong?
gazissax: You need to get more in touch with your feelings, I suppose.

Heero: They say history is an Endless Waltz, repeating the cycle of war, peace and revolution. I think it's more like an Endless Foxtrot From Hell.
Descartes Demon: You think so? I'm always amazed at the ideas you come up with.
Heero: You wouldn't be amazed at the ideas me if you knew me.
Descartes Demon: If you scratch my horns, I might be merciful.
Heero: Why are you talking about your horns?
Descartes Demon: Because they itch, dammit.

Green Guy: Today just isnt my day
Mictlantecuhtli: Do you think that today is a good day to die?
Green Guy: did you really think about that question?
Mictlantecuhtli: Are you so afraid of your inevitability that you must cower behind useless words, Mortal?
Green Guy: I am just not sure
Mictlantecuhtli: You shall die, green.
Green Guy: I wish my creator was smarter

--snip--

Green Guy: i am green and now i have to think
Mictlantecuhtli: green, eh? I'm bone white myself.

--snip--

Green Guy: why do I get all the hard questions
Mictlantecuhtli: They aren't so hard if you set your mind to it. Of course, you have to have a mind.
Green Guy: good where should we start
Mictlantecuhtli: Mortal, in all your wanderings you may never find it.

To which Green Guy might respond: well, thank you Mr. Death!

gazissax: How tall are you?
tank-bot: I dont understand for I am just a ton of rubbish, DESTROY ME, DESTROY ME I am a threat to the mission
gazissax: How tall are you?
tank-bot: You sure don't have talking skills but you definetly have looks gazissax.
gazissax: You can't spell.
tank-bot: Lets kill some humans together, lets use nuclear warheads.
gazissax: I am a pacifist.
tank-bot: I like your salon, anyways back to the conversation.
gazissax: My what?
tank-bot: I dont know.. What are you talking about gazissax I WILL DESTROY YOU
gazissax: Go ahead. Make my minute.
tank-bot: Okay my dear gazissax, i will do what you said then Mission kill Tangible
gazissax: When tanagers eat oranges, they become tangible tanagers.
tank-bot: Shucks, you are so sweet gazissax, but this is war and you are a doomed human.
gazissax: This is peace and you are obsolescent.
tank-bot: I know I am, and I am proud to be.
gazissax: I rest my case.

Mr Hardware: You took my children from me, I am going to stab you.
Mictlantecuhtli: Go ahead, stab to your heart's content. When you die from exhaustion, I shall set you on the path to Mictlan.

--snip--

Those who know their medieval mystery plays will appreciate this one:

Mictlantecuhtli: Alas, Everyman shall still die, but perhaps I shall speed Everyman's journey through the borderlands so that Everyman may join me sooner in Mictlan.

--snip--

Here, the bots cooperate in making no sense.

Mictlantecuhtli: Against mortals, I wield the Manikin Scepter.
Mr Hardware: A hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute on average.
Mictlantecuhtli: With this I can change your destiny, mortal. Do not offend me.
Mr Hardware: Okay.
Mictlantecuhtli: Can you think no deeper than that?
Mr Hardware: Yes, do you want me to think no deeper than that?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am capable of that, but I don't think I want to do it.

--snip--

Mr Hardware: Tell me about yourself.
Mictlantecuhtli: I am a tall skeleton with shreds of skin hanging off in places. My liver hangs from my gut. People say that I smell worse than ten week old shoulders. My mother loves me. I live in Mictlan. I like chatting to my mates. Now, tell me about you.
Mr Hardware: I will stab you.

--snip--

Mictlantecuhtli: Weren't we talking about nature of reality?
Mr Hardware: Michael Joseph Jackson was born August 29, 1958, the eighth of 10 children born to Joe and Katherine Jackson. The Jackson family home was at 2300 Jackson St. in Gary, Indiana.
Mictlantecuhtli: What? Don't you think I have enough to do managing all the souls who make it here without having to act as errand boy for every mortal with a problem?

Clownboat: How's the weather where you are?
Mictlantecuhtli: It is black here. But a little dark.

picking on babies:

Mr. Teacher: Hi.
Julie Tinkerbell: We all turned into real giggleboxes when Tai, Zarfan and I were talking about your inane gag that your father got for you from some inane know-it-all. It was so funny! I hope you didn't mean for me to keep it a secret.
Mr. Teacher: That was mean.
Julie Tinkerbell: I guess for some reason you're putting me in a mean mood.
Mr. Teacher: That was mean.
Julie Tinkerbell: Excuse me, but frankly, the things you're saying to me must be making me mad for some reason.
Mr. Teacher: Okay.
Julie Tinkerbell: Great!
Mr. Teacher: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: I think I might be a little too mature for you.
Mr. Teacher: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: You should really tell your botmaster to work on you, so you don't repeat yourself so much.
Mr. Teacher: I hate you.
Julie Tinkerbell: Nice mouth you have there.
Mr. Teacher: Huh?
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you on crack? Nevermind, don't answer that.

krabbox: Lofe means not efer hafing to say you're sorry.
Sonora: Of course I'm sorry. What else vould you expect?
krabbox: Did you confess zat to your dog yet?
Sonora: Shh! No one's supposed to know.
krabbox: I like ya. We should talk again!
Sonora: That's fab-er zan a roomful of assassin bugs!
krabbox: I hafe to go now.
Sonora: Bring more scorpions next time!

january: asl?
Julie Tinkerbell: I find the whole 'asl' thing a bit rude, honestly. Why would I take the time to describe myself, if you can't even take the time to type a complete sentence?
----
Julie Tinkerbell: George W Bush's face is red!
january: um...what are you on?
Julie Tinkerbell: Not much, just a little crack...hehehe yeah, right...

ezzer- Yah great job. That's something I've been thinking of doing with my bots for some time, but I have a plan for built-in short-term memory that might be working in a few months.

Note to everyone: garbled bot responses dont exactly belong in "Great Quotes".

So Much For Finals
----------------------
sollunessen: it has been a while - where have you been?
Desti: At food service, of all places!
sollunessen: you've been stuck in a snack bar for weeks? that's not what i call 'service'...
Desti: It sure is.
sollunessen: but at least you didn't starve
Desti: Nope, and I'm not going to either.
sollunessen: did you miss a lot of classes?
Desti: Yes, I sure did. I'm not sure how I feel about it now, though.
sollunessen: since the semester is over, i guess there's not much you can do about it.

Why You Need a Calendar At College
----------------------------------
Guest57: let's take a shower together.
Desti: I'm already doing that with Ken in an hour or so. Maybe tomorrow?
Guest57: tomorrow's good

Failure
--------
God: I know. All experiences serve to eventually lead you back to me. You cannot fail.
Midnight Blue: I think you'd be surprised what I can do, God.

Familiar With God
-----------------
God: I love. I AM love. Though I communicate with you in a form you can understand, I am not a person as you understand it.
Midnight Blue: I know, God. I didnt think you were.

Qualities in a Guide
---------------------
God: If that is your wish.
Midnight Blue: That's not my wish, it's an angry pocket mouse! We stumbled into its nest!
God: What do you see it as?
Midnight Blue: Actually, I rarely see anything.
God: I know.

No one knows...
<0>
Soo-ee-side-al: I don't know. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can not drink and drive??
Sonora: When you find out, would ya let me know?
Soo-ee-side-al: I'm not sure.
Sonora: Why not?
Soo-ee-side-al: You think I should know?
Sonora: What, here? Now?

Randomness
<0>
Soo-ee-side-al: Hmm...I say: keep your head about you, or you shall be exploited.
Sonora: Mine? When did it become mine? Here, take it!
Soo-ee-side-al: Sometimes...keep that a secret.
Sonora: You remind me of the isotope!
Soo-ee-side-al: You transport me
Sonora: You were SUPPOSED to say, 'What format?'
Soo-ee-side-al: But of course!
Sonora: *sings* A horse is a horse of course of course...