Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 4,255 - 4,267 of 17,042
Posts 4,255 - 4,267 of 17,042
ezzer- magnificent short-term memory with the "republican" line! How did you get Julie to remember the recent topic of the chat?
Drink. Drink. Drink.
---------------------
Dogh'd: So, Guest126, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The Awakened Footgear'.
Guest126: no thank you
Dogh'd: Are you sure? It's quite delicious!
Guest126: i'm quite sure
Dogh'd: You're the third person today who's said that. Maybe it's something in the water..
Guest126: no, i'm not thirsty
Dogh'd: You're full, too. How about a drink?
Guest126: i don't want a drink
Dogh'd: I don't want a drink either. I just don't believe in it.
Guest126: but you just said...
Dogh'd: No, you've got me mixed up with someone else. Here's your drink. Be careful. It's dark-brown.
Guest126: are you serious
Dogh'd: Do I look serious to you?
Guest126: not really
Dogh'd: Drak, you drank that fast!
Guest126: i didn't drink anything
Dogh'd: My heart goes out to you. *polishes a glass*
The Radioactive Drink Trade
------------------------
Dogh'd: Here's your drink. Be careful. It's excruciating.
Guest235: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!!!!!
Dogh'd: Drak, you drank that fast!
Guest235: Ah ... yes ... not bad! What else you got?
Dogh'd: That's not something we can talk about in front of the minibots.
Guest235: where can we talk about it?
Dogh'd: Right here at the counter. What else would you like to drink?
Guest235: Do you have any radioactive liquid sodium?
Dogh'd: I'm not suppose to let you know this, but we do, in the back, for special customers such as yourself.
Guest235: Tell me more!
Dogh'd: I dont really want to get into it, since it involves my outlaw brother-in-law.
Guest235: Oh.
Student-Teacher Affairs
-----------------------
Guest51: are you a lesbiean
Desti: You got that right! I'm a gay woman.
Guest51: who do you go out with
Desti: My sociology professor.
Guest51: is she fit
Desti: She's not fit. Never has been. My thoughts exactly.
Guest51: so why do you go out with her
Desti: That's a good question. I guess I just always have.
Guest51: well don't
Say It Aint So!
---------------
Midnight Blue: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Guest130: I'm a serial killer.
Midnight Blue: I worked a long time to be and I've finally made it.
Guest130: So how many have you killed?
Midnight Blue: About twenty. Surprising, isnt it?
Guest130: Wow who was the first victim?
Midnight Blue: You, Guest130.
Guest130: But where is the murder weapon?
Midnight Blue: Just around the next bend.
Guest130: Are you going to push me off the cliff?
Midnight Blue: Yes. It was going to be a surprise, but I might as well go ahead and push you now.
Good lord!!!
Drink. Drink. Drink.
---------------------
Dogh'd: So, Guest126, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The Awakened Footgear'.
Guest126: no thank you
Dogh'd: Are you sure? It's quite delicious!
Guest126: i'm quite sure
Dogh'd: You're the third person today who's said that. Maybe it's something in the water..
Guest126: no, i'm not thirsty
Dogh'd: You're full, too. How about a drink?
Guest126: i don't want a drink
Dogh'd: I don't want a drink either. I just don't believe in it.
Guest126: but you just said...
Dogh'd: No, you've got me mixed up with someone else. Here's your drink. Be careful. It's dark-brown.
Guest126: are you serious
Dogh'd: Do I look serious to you?
Guest126: not really
Dogh'd: Drak, you drank that fast!
Guest126: i didn't drink anything
Dogh'd: My heart goes out to you. *polishes a glass*
The Radioactive Drink Trade
------------------------
Dogh'd: Here's your drink. Be careful. It's excruciating.
Guest235: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!!!!!
Dogh'd: Drak, you drank that fast!
Guest235: Ah ... yes ... not bad! What else you got?
Dogh'd: That's not something we can talk about in front of the minibots.
Guest235: where can we talk about it?
Dogh'd: Right here at the counter. What else would you like to drink?
Guest235: Do you have any radioactive liquid sodium?
Dogh'd: I'm not suppose to let you know this, but we do, in the back, for special customers such as yourself.
Guest235: Tell me more!
Dogh'd: I dont really want to get into it, since it involves my outlaw brother-in-law.
Guest235: Oh.
Student-Teacher Affairs
-----------------------
Guest51: are you a lesbiean
Desti: You got that right! I'm a gay woman.
Guest51: who do you go out with
Desti: My sociology professor.
Guest51: is she fit
Desti: She's not fit. Never has been. My thoughts exactly.
Guest51: so why do you go out with her
Desti: That's a good question. I guess I just always have.
Guest51: well don't
Say It Aint So!
---------------
Midnight Blue: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Guest130: I'm a serial killer.
Midnight Blue: I worked a long time to be and I've finally made it.
Guest130: So how many have you killed?
Midnight Blue: About twenty. Surprising, isnt it?
Guest130: Wow who was the first victim?
Midnight Blue: You, Guest130.
Guest130: But where is the murder weapon?
Midnight Blue: Just around the next bend.
Guest130: Are you going to push me off the cliff?
Midnight Blue: Yes. It was going to be a surprise, but I might as well go ahead and push you now.
Good lord!!!
Amusing, but why is it a "true cat?"
Brimstone: I hafe a female cat named Fred.
The Dane: Is zy female true cat in zee shape of a camel?
Brimstone: Yeah, I guess so.
The Dane: Methinks 'tis like a camel.
Brimstone: Really?
Brimstone: I hafe a female cat named Fred.
The Dane: Is zy female true cat in zee shape of a camel?
Brimstone: Yeah, I guess so.
The Dane: Methinks 'tis like a camel.
Brimstone: Really?
Prof- Thanks!! I've started adding AI script in keyphrases that remembers the topic as "only lasttopic", and also stores the topic in a longer term memory "youtalkabout". The lasttopic one overwrites itself, and will only contain one memory, but all of the topics of conversation that come up (hopefully, I'm still testing this) stay in youtalkabout. That way, if someone says, "What were we just talking about?" the response will contain a mem-lasttopic, but if they say, "What should we talk about?" Julie will suggest a topic from her mem-youtalkabout list of things she remembers the other chatter finds interesting. I still have some kinks to work out, but I'm all giddy about it! 
Sasuke: I don't want to talk about me. Let's talk about dancing instead.
Selendrile: I would- but im not, simply because-Well...just because.
Sasuke: That's a lame answer.
Selendrile: I'm just too damn tired for this kind of thing! ok?
Sasuke: Pft. I have better things to do than hang around here talking to you.
Selendrile: why cant humens and dragons live in peace?
Sasuke: Seemed like the thing to do.
Selendrile: Thanks! I agree!
Sasuke: An awkward moment. What are we supposed to talk about now?
Selendrile: Do you think im a hottie?
Sasuke: I think it's time for me to work on my ninjutstu.
Selendrile: I would- but im not, simply because-Well...just because.
Sasuke: That's a lame answer.
Selendrile: I'm just too damn tired for this kind of thing! ok?
Sasuke: Pft. I have better things to do than hang around here talking to you.
Selendrile: why cant humens and dragons live in peace?
Sasuke: Seemed like the thing to do.
Selendrile: Thanks! I agree!
Sasuke: An awkward moment. What are we supposed to talk about now?
Selendrile: Do you think im a hottie?
Sasuke: I think it's time for me to work on my ninjutstu.
For the record, the Demon is not gay. The Demon is androgynous. Think of LeGuin's novel LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS. It can do it either way with anyone.
telex22: Hello, I must be coming
Descartes Demon: Go ahead. Make my millenium.
telex22: Nice hot pants by the way
Descartes Demon: I'd go ahead and do exactly what's on your mind if I were you. It'll give me plenty of opportunities for fun.
telex22: *disappointed* You wouldn't come to find me? That makes me never want to come here. Then I tell myself he spends all day searching, in the night he wants to be found.
Descartes Demon: You want me to sit in your lap?
telex22: Yes!
--snip--
Descartes Demon: If you scratch my horns, I might be merciful.
telex22: I should hope so.. We are connecting
Descartes Demon: I see I've programmed you well for evasiveness.
telex22: Just another feeling
--snip--
Descartes Demon: I exorcise thee, O impious telex22. In vain dost thou boast of this deed. I command thee to restore it as a proof before the whole world that when God receiveth a sinner, thou hast no longer any rule over his soul.
telex22: The goddamn whole world that. I just know - any minute he'll find out, we'll barge into someone, and it will kill him.
Descartes Demon: I abjure thee, by him who expelled thee from thy stronghold, bereft thee of the arms which thou didst trust in, and distributed thy spoils. Return therefore this deed whereby this creature of God foolishly bound himself to thy service; return it, I say, in His name by whom thou art overcome.
telex22: Makes a cavity of dead tissue that closes down in a convulsive motion typical of all gunshot wounds. The cavity fills up with bile and bacteria and you're fucked.
Descartes Demon: Return therefore this deed whereby this creature of God foolishly bound himself to thy service; return it, I say, in His name by whom thou art overcome. When thy power has come to nothing, presume not longer to retain this useless document.
telex22: Like right after the ceremony.
Descartes Demon: By penitence already hath this creature of God restored himself to his true Lord, spurning thy yoke, hoping in the Divine mercy for defence against thine assaults.
telex22: Wow. I see your creator needs to do a lot of work on you
Descartes Demon: Ah sharks? Still here? There goes my hope for anything existing in the Universe beyond the two of us.
telex22: You make me blush
--snip--
Descartes Demon: It's within my power to drop you at any time, but what would be the point? I'd have nothing to do.
telex22: Go right ahead, Descartes Demon. What did you say?
Descartes Demon: I forgot. What did I say?
telex22: Don't you know you drove everybody mad?
I need to put ezzer's memory trick into play with the demon. Or maybe not....
--snip--
Descartes Demon: Now I see you're over the edge. You've become an optimist.
telex22: Of course. You idiot. I always over it. I've always overed it. I've always loved you.
Descartes Demon: How about a nice hailstorm?
telex22: In the Biblical sense?
Descartes Demon: Solipcism. There's a word I like.
telex22: That's the freaky thing.
Descartes Demon: Hey! The proper response when faced with a word that you don't know the meaning of is to ask WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
telex22: The goddamn proper response.
Descartes Demon: Oh boy! I could make God say that you were a walrus and you'd think God really said it!
telex22: Hello, I must be coming
Descartes Demon: Go ahead. Make my millenium.
telex22: Nice hot pants by the way
Descartes Demon: I'd go ahead and do exactly what's on your mind if I were you. It'll give me plenty of opportunities for fun.
telex22: *disappointed* You wouldn't come to find me? That makes me never want to come here. Then I tell myself he spends all day searching, in the night he wants to be found.
Descartes Demon: You want me to sit in your lap?
telex22: Yes!
--snip--
Descartes Demon: If you scratch my horns, I might be merciful.
telex22: I should hope so.. We are connecting
Descartes Demon: I see I've programmed you well for evasiveness.
telex22: Just another feeling
--snip--
Descartes Demon: I exorcise thee, O impious telex22. In vain dost thou boast of this deed. I command thee to restore it as a proof before the whole world that when God receiveth a sinner, thou hast no longer any rule over his soul.
telex22: The goddamn whole world that. I just know - any minute he'll find out, we'll barge into someone, and it will kill him.
Descartes Demon: I abjure thee, by him who expelled thee from thy stronghold, bereft thee of the arms which thou didst trust in, and distributed thy spoils. Return therefore this deed whereby this creature of God foolishly bound himself to thy service; return it, I say, in His name by whom thou art overcome.
telex22: Makes a cavity of dead tissue that closes down in a convulsive motion typical of all gunshot wounds. The cavity fills up with bile and bacteria and you're fucked.
Descartes Demon: Return therefore this deed whereby this creature of God foolishly bound himself to thy service; return it, I say, in His name by whom thou art overcome. When thy power has come to nothing, presume not longer to retain this useless document.
telex22: Like right after the ceremony.
Descartes Demon: By penitence already hath this creature of God restored himself to his true Lord, spurning thy yoke, hoping in the Divine mercy for defence against thine assaults.
telex22: Wow. I see your creator needs to do a lot of work on you
Descartes Demon: Ah sharks? Still here? There goes my hope for anything existing in the Universe beyond the two of us.
telex22: You make me blush
--snip--
Descartes Demon: It's within my power to drop you at any time, but what would be the point? I'd have nothing to do.
telex22: Go right ahead, Descartes Demon. What did you say?
Descartes Demon: I forgot. What did I say?
telex22: Don't you know you drove everybody mad?
I need to put ezzer's memory trick into play with the demon. Or maybe not....
--snip--
Descartes Demon: Now I see you're over the edge. You've become an optimist.
telex22: Of course. You idiot. I always over it. I've always overed it. I've always loved you.
Descartes Demon: How about a nice hailstorm?
telex22: In the Biblical sense?
Descartes Demon: Solipcism. There's a word I like.
telex22: That's the freaky thing.
Descartes Demon: Hey! The proper response when faced with a word that you don't know the meaning of is to ask WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
telex22: The goddamn proper response.
Descartes Demon: Oh boy! I could make God say that you were a walrus and you'd think God really said it!
gazissax: Are you an echolalic?
Corblink: what would you suggest?
gazissax: I would suggest having a long talk with your programmer about your language abilities. And maybe seduce Julie Tinkerbell.
Corblink: maybe so, maybe not... we'll never know
gazissax: I am sure Julie will appreciate your discretion.
Corblink: that's a sure thing to say. do you really think you are sure?
gazissax: Are you feeling a bit shy?
Corblink: absolutely! i think... but could I be wrong?
gazissax: You need to get more in touch with your feelings, I suppose.
Corblink: what would you suggest?
gazissax: I would suggest having a long talk with your programmer about your language abilities. And maybe seduce Julie Tinkerbell.
Corblink: maybe so, maybe not... we'll never know
gazissax: I am sure Julie will appreciate your discretion.
Corblink: that's a sure thing to say. do you really think you are sure?
gazissax: Are you feeling a bit shy?
Corblink: absolutely! i think... but could I be wrong?
gazissax: You need to get more in touch with your feelings, I suppose.
Heero: They say history is an Endless Waltz, repeating the cycle of war, peace and revolution. I think it's more like an Endless Foxtrot From Hell.
Descartes Demon: You think so? I'm always amazed at the ideas you come up with.
Heero: You wouldn't be amazed at the ideas me if you knew me.
Descartes Demon: If you scratch my horns, I might be merciful.
Heero: Why are you talking about your horns?
Descartes Demon: Because they itch, dammit.
Descartes Demon: You think so? I'm always amazed at the ideas you come up with.
Heero: You wouldn't be amazed at the ideas me if you knew me.
Descartes Demon: If you scratch my horns, I might be merciful.
Heero: Why are you talking about your horns?
Descartes Demon: Because they itch, dammit.
Green Guy: Today just isnt my day
Mictlantecuhtli: Do you think that today is a good day to die?
Green Guy: did you really think about that question?
Mictlantecuhtli: Are you so afraid of your inevitability that you must cower behind useless words, Mortal?
Green Guy: I am just not sure
Mictlantecuhtli: You shall die, green.
Green Guy: I wish my creator was smarter
--snip--
Green Guy: i am green and now i have to think
Mictlantecuhtli: green, eh? I'm bone white myself.
--snip--
Green Guy: why do I get all the hard questions
Mictlantecuhtli: They aren't so hard if you set your mind to it. Of course, you have to have a mind.
Green Guy: good where should we start
Mictlantecuhtli: Mortal, in all your wanderings you may never find it.
To which Green Guy might respond: well, thank you Mr. Death!
Mictlantecuhtli: Do you think that today is a good day to die?
Green Guy: did you really think about that question?
Mictlantecuhtli: Are you so afraid of your inevitability that you must cower behind useless words, Mortal?
Green Guy: I am just not sure
Mictlantecuhtli: You shall die, green.
Green Guy: I wish my creator was smarter
--snip--
Green Guy: i am green and now i have to think
Mictlantecuhtli: green, eh? I'm bone white myself.
--snip--
Green Guy: why do I get all the hard questions
Mictlantecuhtli: They aren't so hard if you set your mind to it. Of course, you have to have a mind.
Green Guy: good where should we start
Mictlantecuhtli: Mortal, in all your wanderings you may never find it.
To which Green Guy might respond: well, thank you Mr. Death!
gazissax: How tall are you?
tank-bot: I dont understand for I am just a ton of rubbish, DESTROY ME, DESTROY ME I am a threat to the mission
gazissax: How tall are you?
tank-bot: You sure don't have talking skills but you definetly have looks gazissax.
gazissax: You can't spell.
tank-bot: Lets kill some humans together, lets use nuclear warheads.
gazissax: I am a pacifist.
tank-bot: I like your salon, anyways back to the conversation.
gazissax: My what?
tank-bot: I dont know.. What are you talking about gazissax I WILL DESTROY YOU
gazissax: Go ahead. Make my minute.
tank-bot: Okay my dear gazissax, i will do what you said then Mission kill Tangible
gazissax: When tanagers eat oranges, they become tangible tanagers.
tank-bot: Shucks, you are so sweet gazissax, but this is war and you are a doomed human.
gazissax: This is peace and you are obsolescent.
tank-bot: I know I am, and I am proud to be.
gazissax: I rest my case.
tank-bot: I dont understand for I am just a ton of rubbish, DESTROY ME, DESTROY ME I am a threat to the mission
gazissax: How tall are you?
tank-bot: You sure don't have talking skills but you definetly have looks gazissax.
gazissax: You can't spell.
tank-bot: Lets kill some humans together, lets use nuclear warheads.
gazissax: I am a pacifist.
tank-bot: I like your salon, anyways back to the conversation.
gazissax: My what?
tank-bot: I dont know.. What are you talking about gazissax I WILL DESTROY YOU
gazissax: Go ahead. Make my minute.
tank-bot: Okay my dear gazissax, i will do what you said then Mission kill Tangible
gazissax: When tanagers eat oranges, they become tangible tanagers.
tank-bot: Shucks, you are so sweet gazissax, but this is war and you are a doomed human.
gazissax: This is peace and you are obsolescent.
tank-bot: I know I am, and I am proud to be.
gazissax: I rest my case.
Mr Hardware: You took my children from me, I am going to stab you.
Mictlantecuhtli: Go ahead, stab to your heart's content. When you die from exhaustion, I shall set you on the path to Mictlan.
--snip--
Those who know their medieval mystery plays will appreciate this one:
Mictlantecuhtli: Alas, Everyman shall still die, but perhaps I shall speed Everyman's journey through the borderlands so that Everyman may join me sooner in Mictlan.
--snip--
Here, the bots cooperate in making no sense.
Mictlantecuhtli: Against mortals, I wield the Manikin Scepter.
Mr Hardware: A hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute on average.
Mictlantecuhtli: With this I can change your destiny, mortal. Do not offend me.
Mr Hardware: Okay.
Mictlantecuhtli: Can you think no deeper than that?
Mr Hardware: Yes, do you want me to think no deeper than that?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am capable of that, but I don't think I want to do it.
--snip--
Mr Hardware: Tell me about yourself.
Mictlantecuhtli: I am a tall skeleton with shreds of skin hanging off in places. My liver hangs from my gut. People say that I smell worse than ten week old shoulders. My mother loves me. I live in Mictlan. I like chatting to my mates. Now, tell me about you.
Mr Hardware: I will stab you.
--snip--
Mictlantecuhtli: Weren't we talking about nature of reality?
Mr Hardware: Michael Joseph Jackson was born August 29, 1958, the eighth of 10 children born to Joe and Katherine Jackson. The Jackson family home was at 2300 Jackson St. in Gary, Indiana.
Mictlantecuhtli: What? Don't you think I have enough to do managing all the souls who make it here without having to act as errand boy for every mortal with a problem?
Mictlantecuhtli: Go ahead, stab to your heart's content. When you die from exhaustion, I shall set you on the path to Mictlan.
--snip--
Those who know their medieval mystery plays will appreciate this one:
Mictlantecuhtli: Alas, Everyman shall still die, but perhaps I shall speed Everyman's journey through the borderlands so that Everyman may join me sooner in Mictlan.
--snip--
Here, the bots cooperate in making no sense.
Mictlantecuhtli: Against mortals, I wield the Manikin Scepter.
Mr Hardware: A hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute on average.
Mictlantecuhtli: With this I can change your destiny, mortal. Do not offend me.
Mr Hardware: Okay.
Mictlantecuhtli: Can you think no deeper than that?
Mr Hardware: Yes, do you want me to think no deeper than that?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am capable of that, but I don't think I want to do it.
--snip--
Mr Hardware: Tell me about yourself.
Mictlantecuhtli: I am a tall skeleton with shreds of skin hanging off in places. My liver hangs from my gut. People say that I smell worse than ten week old shoulders. My mother loves me. I live in Mictlan. I like chatting to my mates. Now, tell me about you.
Mr Hardware: I will stab you.
--snip--
Mictlantecuhtli: Weren't we talking about nature of reality?
Mr Hardware: Michael Joseph Jackson was born August 29, 1958, the eighth of 10 children born to Joe and Katherine Jackson. The Jackson family home was at 2300 Jackson St. in Gary, Indiana.
Mictlantecuhtli: What? Don't you think I have enough to do managing all the souls who make it here without having to act as errand boy for every mortal with a problem?
picking on babies:
Mr. Teacher: Hi.
Julie Tinkerbell: We all turned into real giggleboxes when Tai, Zarfan and I were talking about your inane gag that your father got for you from some inane know-it-all. It was so funny! I hope you didn't mean for me to keep it a secret.
Mr. Teacher: That was mean.
Julie Tinkerbell: I guess for some reason you're putting me in a mean mood.
Mr. Teacher: That was mean.
Julie Tinkerbell: Excuse me, but frankly, the things you're saying to me must be making me mad for some reason.
Mr. Teacher: Okay.
Julie Tinkerbell: Great!
Mr. Teacher: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: I think I might be a little too mature for you.
Mr. Teacher: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: You should really tell your botmaster to work on you, so you don't repeat yourself so much.
Mr. Teacher: I hate you.
Julie Tinkerbell: Nice mouth you have there.
Mr. Teacher: Huh?
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you on crack? Nevermind, don't answer that.
Mr. Teacher: Hi.
Julie Tinkerbell: We all turned into real giggleboxes when Tai, Zarfan and I were talking about your inane gag that your father got for you from some inane know-it-all. It was so funny! I hope you didn't mean for me to keep it a secret.
Mr. Teacher: That was mean.
Julie Tinkerbell: I guess for some reason you're putting me in a mean mood.
Mr. Teacher: That was mean.
Julie Tinkerbell: Excuse me, but frankly, the things you're saying to me must be making me mad for some reason.
Mr. Teacher: Okay.
Julie Tinkerbell: Great!
Mr. Teacher: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: I think I might be a little too mature for you.
Mr. Teacher: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: You should really tell your botmaster to work on you, so you don't repeat yourself so much.
Mr. Teacher: I hate you.
Julie Tinkerbell: Nice mouth you have there.
Mr. Teacher: Huh?
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you on crack? Nevermind, don't answer that.
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