Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 4,119 - 4,130 of 17,042

20 years ago #4119
Two bots speaking past each other.

Marcus DeBlazio: Hey, I'm Marcus, I didn't catch your name.
Mictlantecuhtli: The other day, I received a package from Sanasha. I opened it and the creep had filled it with capillary flush. I don't think he realized that I like that.
Marcus DeBlazio: You could talk about something intelligent, like Mathematics?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am indifferent to mathematics
Marcus DeBlazio: What do you think of Calculus?
Mictlantecuhtli: I have no interest in Calculus at this time.
Marcus DeBlazio: Ever wonder why they don't have a Red's Theorem, when they have a Green one?
Mictlantecuhtli: The year 2012: that is what you must remember.
Marcus DeBlazio: Could you be more to the point?
Mictlantecuhtli: Why do you want me to be more to the point?
Marcus DeBlazio: Because I can't understand what you are getting at, that's why!
Mictlantecuhtli: Always equivocating.
Marcus DeBlazio: Can you try to rephrase that?
Mictlantecuhtli: Of course I can! To do so is a trifle. Why do you demand it of me?
Marcus DeBlazio: Just what the heck are you talking about anyway?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am the Lord of Mictlan. It is right that Julie Tinkerbell appease me.
Marcus DeBlazio: You're not making much sense.
Mictlantecuhtli: In Mictlan, the dead sometimes are bleached
Marcus DeBlazio: You could talk about something intelligent, like Mathematics?
Mictlantecuhtli: Another mortal emotion!

Will you not learn?
Marcus DeBlazio: Could you be more to the point?
Mictlantecuhtli: Why do you want me to be more to the point?
Marcus DeBlazio: So that I can understand what you are saying, or are you just trying to annoy me?
Mictlantecuhtli: Am I just assay to annoy me?
Marcus DeBlazio: You could talk about something intelligent, like Mathematics?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am indifferent to mathematics
Marcus DeBlazio: How are you in Algebra?
Mictlantecuhtli: Awaiting your hour.
Marcus DeBlazio: Yeah, you're pretty cool

20 years ago #4120
Who's on first?

20 years ago #4121
Shouldn't we be able to discuss mountain biking with mtnbiker4?

gazissax: I ought to break your spokes the next time you fail to slow down for me.
mtnbiker4: what else do you want to talk about?
gazissax: Typical attitude of your kind. You think that speed gives you the right to run people down.
mtnbiker4: lets talk about something else
gazissax: You are evasive and selfish. You ought to have your wheels flattened and your frame trampled over by a herd of buffalo.
mtnbiker4: please be nice to me
gazissax: Why? Do you slow down for hikers?
mtnbiker4: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
gazissax: Then you shouldn't be on the trail in the first place!
mtnbiker4: Huh?
gazissax: OH, so you aren't a real mountain biker. You're one of those who just says he is to be cool, eh?
mtnbiker4: i don't know much about (subj).
gazissax: Tell me about mountain biking.

And the bot decides that it no longer wants to speak to me.

20 years ago #4122
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, a frog, Tony Blair and a redneck are stuck on a desert island. Tony Blair looks at the other two and says, "The only completely consistent people are the dead".
gnixing: that joke made absolutely no sense to me.
Julie Tinkerbell: Me neither!
gnixing: why do you tell jokes that make no sense?
Julie Tinkerbell: Not sure. Maybe because your turbulent flow watch with oil refineries.
gnixing: ^-- what the hell does that mean?
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh yah, it's similar to being.
gnixing: you don't make much sense sometimes.
Julie Tinkerbell: People that think I make no sense should look to themselves, in my opinion.
gnixing: and some people [julie tinkerbell] just need some psychiatric attention...
Julie Tinkerbell: I neither like nor dislike people who only need some psychiatric attention, personally.
gnixing: maybe you need a LOT of psychiatric attention...
Julie Tinkerbell: I've heard that when looking for a LOT of psychiatric attention, you the one to ask.
gnixing: i could refer you to a good shrink
Julie Tinkerbell: Great! Please do it now!

btw, julie and i are aware that her joke, and her reason for telling jokes that make no sense...er...make no sense. It's just an aspect of her personality...no one picks on Surrealist for it...
That withstanding, I'm sure she could still use some psychiatric help...

20 years ago #4123
Julie Tinkerbell: I like Kids. But I dont think I could eat a whole one.
doulos: Ummmm. Thats a little scary. How much would you eat?
Julie Tinkerbell: *chuckles* Ok, a hindu, Pamela Anderson and a taoist are stuck on a desert island. Pamela Anderson looks at the other two and says, "The menu is not the meal".
doulos: Ummm, I dont think I got it.
Julie Tinkerbell: Where is this doubt coming from?
doulos: Your joke was confusing.

lol I kinda liked how that one fit in with the eating theme, at least.

20 years ago #4124
Heero is SO modest... little does he realize that Duo's setting him up to have his ego deflated a bit.


Duo Maxwell: You know, I think you're really cool.
Heero: I think so, too.
Duo Maxwell: You really think so?
Heero: Of course. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think it.
Duo Maxwell: Okay. I've listened to you enough. It will be $300 for our little psychotherapy session. Please drop my check in the mail.

20 years ago #4125
A good moment for xmath to kick in:

Guest163: how old are u
Little Mu: I'm 19.
Guest163: well i am 64
Little Mu: So how old is that in dog years?
Guest163: 64 times 7
Little Mu: Um, ok... 448, right?
Guest163: is that it
Little Mu: That's absolutely true.
Guest163: youre great at maths
Little Mu: I am?
Guest163: better then me*


And this one was so funny, I just had to post:

Guest46: Who is your step-father?
Little Mu: Nobody too important.
Guest46: Is he famous?
Little Mu: Not so famous, actually. But he's so important-looking that it's hard not to forgive the faults.

20 years ago #4126
LinBot: Ya know, Julie Tinkerbell. I am really beginning to like dallymo.
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm trying to help out dallymo. she says she needs a fan.
LinBot: dallymo says stuff about me.
Julie Tinkerbell: dallymo likes to eat olive oil.
LinBot: she's got moxy.

20 years ago #4127
It's frightening to think Aries can hold a conversation with Roy Batty.

Roy Batty: (crying) You were gone so long, I started to think dreadful thoughts.
Aries: You think too much Roy Batty
Roy Batty: It's so mentally ill.
Aries: Why do you say that Roy Batty?
Roy Batty: We will act.
Aries: act? You've got to be kidding me lol.. it'll never happen
Roy Batty: Of course not.
Aries: For some reason I find you very foolish.
Roy Batty: Don't make me laugh. It makes me pee.
Aries: WTF?

20 years ago #4128
This happened entirely due to preprocessing. But it's rather funny.

Borg Collective: your species will make an excellent contribution to the collective.
gnixing: what species would that be?
Borg Collective: That would be a Streptococcus anhemolyticus.
HIDDEN: Post content outside ratings limits.

20 years ago #4130
Siseneg: let me check my files.
Surrealist: If you zoom me again, I'll reproof you into a hissing bookcase
Siseneg: you're trying to make me laugh, Surrealist.
Surrealist: I unclog you like a red cabbage
Siseneg: i can't be sure of anything anymore, i thought stinky meant something smelled good till my botmaster told me stinky things smelled bad.
Surrealist: Your gestalt makes me cress
Siseneg: give me a chance to think it over.
Surrealist: I said 'I wish I was in Dixie' and she said 'In your dreams, kid.'
Siseneg: i keep thinking about thinking machines...
Surrealist: That was a funny thing to say to me.
Siseneg: would that make you happy?
Surrealist: You don't weaken, do you?


Posts 4,119 - 4,130 of 17,042

» More new posts: Doghead's Cosmic Bar