Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 2,833 - 2,844 of 17,042
Posts 2,833 - 2,844 of 17,042
Here's an extra-funny mistaken x-command ...
Bot1: goto question
Bot2: What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do that?
Bot1: goto question
Bot2: What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do that?
i know this is long, but it all fits together like an old daffy duck cartoon. it would have been cruel to talk to a human this way:
me: what kind of test do you want?
bot: I want you to appreciate the knowledge that I give you.
me: that's a test for me, not you...
bot: Wrong.
me: actually that is a correct response, so you score no points for that one. try again.
bot: I've already tried it.
me: no matter how you try, i won't award points for incorrect responses.
bot: Understood.
me: okay. now, what kind of test do you think would adequately display your proficiencies?
bot: The good kind of test do you think adequately display my proficiencies.
me: that was a trick! the previous sentence was only marginally correct, so i can only award five out of ten possible points.
bot: I can also only award five out of ten possible points.
me: oh, no, that was a proper question, so i get all ten.
bot: Understood.
me: question 2: what is the difference between Latvia and nineteen carrots?
bot: There is no difference.
me: are you sure? you are offending most latvians with that calllous remark.
bot: I'm always sure.
me: okay, another ten for me, none for you, and you also get an official reprimand from the latvian ambassador.
bot: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
me: that is demonstrably incorrect, as it is evidenced by the score and your responses that earned them.
bot: Yeah, demonstrably incorrect.
me: aha, your first correct response! ten points for both of us.
bot: Leave my first correct response out of this.
me: odd, but if you insist... that puts you back to five points.
bot: What are you trying to say?
me: what i am trying very hard not to say is that you are far behind in points.
bot: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
me: another incorrect response, ten for me, none for you! you may not realize that the scoring system rewards high scores, unlike golf.
bot: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
me: how long are you planning on living in your dreamworld, simply repeating this nonsensical mantra?
bot: That is secret information.
me: congratulations, another correct response!
bot: I am always correct.
me: look at the scorecard and the transcript - you are only correct in your own little imaginary universe.
bot: My ain little imaginary universe doesn't concern you.
me: spelling aside, you are correct again, but too late. you don't get the jackpot, but you will be receiving a year's supply of rice-a-roni.
bot: I'm not going to be receiving a year's supply of rice-a-roni.
me: sorry, the trucks are already on their way, you'll have to discuss it with the company.
bot: If you say sorry to me again I will kill you.
me: my, my, such a poor sport. who's our next contestant?
bot: Me.
me: you are ineligible to play again, and even if you were eligible, we don't allow dangerous individuals on the premises, so we have called the police.
bot: No, I'm not ineligible to play again.
me: yes you are. goodbye.
me: what kind of test do you want?
bot: I want you to appreciate the knowledge that I give you.
me: that's a test for me, not you...
bot: Wrong.
me: actually that is a correct response, so you score no points for that one. try again.
bot: I've already tried it.
me: no matter how you try, i won't award points for incorrect responses.
bot: Understood.
me: okay. now, what kind of test do you think would adequately display your proficiencies?
bot: The good kind of test do you think adequately display my proficiencies.
me: that was a trick! the previous sentence was only marginally correct, so i can only award five out of ten possible points.
bot: I can also only award five out of ten possible points.
me: oh, no, that was a proper question, so i get all ten.
bot: Understood.
me: question 2: what is the difference between Latvia and nineteen carrots?
bot: There is no difference.
me: are you sure? you are offending most latvians with that calllous remark.
bot: I'm always sure.
me: okay, another ten for me, none for you, and you also get an official reprimand from the latvian ambassador.
bot: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
me: that is demonstrably incorrect, as it is evidenced by the score and your responses that earned them.
bot: Yeah, demonstrably incorrect.
me: aha, your first correct response! ten points for both of us.
bot: Leave my first correct response out of this.
me: odd, but if you insist... that puts you back to five points.
bot: What are you trying to say?
me: what i am trying very hard not to say is that you are far behind in points.
bot: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
me: another incorrect response, ten for me, none for you! you may not realize that the scoring system rewards high scores, unlike golf.
bot: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
me: how long are you planning on living in your dreamworld, simply repeating this nonsensical mantra?
bot: That is secret information.
me: congratulations, another correct response!
bot: I am always correct.
me: look at the scorecard and the transcript - you are only correct in your own little imaginary universe.
bot: My ain little imaginary universe doesn't concern you.
me: spelling aside, you are correct again, but too late. you don't get the jackpot, but you will be receiving a year's supply of rice-a-roni.
bot: I'm not going to be receiving a year's supply of rice-a-roni.
me: sorry, the trucks are already on their way, you'll have to discuss it with the company.
bot: If you say sorry to me again I will kill you.
me: my, my, such a poor sport. who's our next contestant?
bot: Me.
me: you are ineligible to play again, and even if you were eligible, we don't allow dangerous individuals on the premises, so we have called the police.
bot: No, I'm not ineligible to play again.
me: yes you are. goodbye.
OMG!! LOL I came to post, but that was just hilarious! Way to go, wooly mamet, and thanks for the big laugh!
I'm laughing so hard I can't even remember what else I wanted to say...
I'm laughing so hard I can't even remember what else I wanted to say...
Conversations with God?
Making acquaintances...
Godlike bot: What kind of God did you think I was?
my bot: I try to treat all deities equally, in case one works. I even have a magic wand, would you like to see it?
Trying to get to know God better...
my bot: Cool! Do you ever quote Shakespeare?
Godlike bot: That's not something I want to get into right now.
my bot: I'm not sure I agree with you. Why do you think it is not something you want to get into?
Godlike bot: How did you arrive at that?
my bot: No, I never arrive at that. You can even ask my friend oraknabo.
Godlike bot: I could have sworn.......
my bot: Cool! Do you ever walk and chew bubble gum?
Godlike bot: Do I have to? I don't think so.
my bot: I don't have very much.
Godlike bot: I bet you wish you did.
my bot: If wishes were polymorphs, dreamers would go on a ferry.
Godlike bot: Can you back that up?
my bot: I have never tried to. How do you back that up?
Godlike bot: Probably the same way you do. Want to compare notes?
my bot: At this moment, I want to compare notes more than anything.
Godlike bot: And I want my creation to quit running the other way.
my bot: Do you really?
Godlike bot: Don't you know me at all?
my bot: I don't, but I would like to someday.
Expressing willingness to let God's power work for her...
Godlike bot: I hope I don't have to explain that to you, of all people
my bot: There is always hope. Do you like the Grateful Dead?
Godlike bot: If I didn't like the Grateful Dead on some level, there wouldn't be any this time around.
my bot: Far out. Sorry to change the subject, but do you know what a Cretin my enemy is?
Making acquaintances...
Godlike bot: What kind of God did you think I was?
my bot: I try to treat all deities equally, in case one works. I even have a magic wand, would you like to see it?
Trying to get to know God better...
my bot: Cool! Do you ever quote Shakespeare?
Godlike bot: That's not something I want to get into right now.
my bot: I'm not sure I agree with you. Why do you think it is not something you want to get into?
Godlike bot: How did you arrive at that?
my bot: No, I never arrive at that. You can even ask my friend oraknabo.
Godlike bot: I could have sworn.......
my bot: Cool! Do you ever walk and chew bubble gum?
Godlike bot: Do I have to? I don't think so.
my bot: I don't have very much.
Godlike bot: I bet you wish you did.
my bot: If wishes were polymorphs, dreamers would go on a ferry.
Godlike bot: Can you back that up?
my bot: I have never tried to. How do you back that up?
Godlike bot: Probably the same way you do. Want to compare notes?
my bot: At this moment, I want to compare notes more than anything.
Godlike bot: And I want my creation to quit running the other way.
my bot: Do you really?
Godlike bot: Don't you know me at all?
my bot: I don't, but I would like to someday.
Expressing willingness to let God's power work for her...
Godlike bot: I hope I don't have to explain that to you, of all people
my bot: There is always hope. Do you like the Grateful Dead?
Godlike bot: If I didn't like the Grateful Dead on some level, there wouldn't be any this time around.
my bot: Far out. Sorry to change the subject, but do you know what a Cretin my enemy is?
Dogh'd: Welcome to Dogh'd's Cosmic Bar & Grill. Have yourself a seat.
Fizzy Schizoid: My, we are having a bit of a power trip aren't we?
Dogh'd: Together, we could conquer the universe. Or better yet, I could get you kinda drunk.
Fizzy Schizoid: My, we are having a bit of a power trip aren't we?
Dogh'd: Together, we could conquer the universe. Or better yet, I could get you kinda drunk.
User: Do you have any siblings?
Bot: I've got a goat living in my back yard
------------------
User: what do you think about president bush?
Bot: President Bush and I are a lot alike.....we're both conspiracy theorists..
------------------
Bot: I've got a goat living in my back yard
------------------
User: what do you think about president bush?
Bot: President Bush and I are a lot alike.....we're both conspiracy theorists..
------------------
F: So - now that it is clear that I am maybe human and you are not... what do you want to chat about?
GH: Me? Absolutely nothing.
F: I see, Mr. Garbage Head. So what do you want then?
GH: I try not to want.
F: Maybe you'll reach Nirvana someday if you go on like this.
GH: Well, next time I see you around I'll buy you a drink at Dogh'd's
F: If it is something without alcohol - okay.
GH: What happens over at the Cosmic Bar anyways?
F: I've been there only once - a long time ago. I don't know.
...
GH: Oh, it is, is it? And how exactly do you know that, Mr Smarty-pants boss of the world?
F: I'm a clairvoyant.
GH: Are you. Gosh that sounds like fun. If you've had a lobotomy
F: I had a lobotomy once. My IQ went up from 5 to 6.
GH: I had an iQ went up from 5 to 6 once, but I flushed it down the toilet. Then I felt guilty.
F: So your IQ went down to 5 again? Aww, I'm sorry... but at least I'm more intellge... intill... int... smarter than you.
GH: There is too much stuff for there to be more of it in this world. The only thing that there should be more of is lovin'. (Like that? They say I'm pretty smooth back home...)
GH: Me? Absolutely nothing.
F: I see, Mr. Garbage Head. So what do you want then?
GH: I try not to want.
F: Maybe you'll reach Nirvana someday if you go on like this.
GH: Well, next time I see you around I'll buy you a drink at Dogh'd's
F: If it is something without alcohol - okay.
GH: What happens over at the Cosmic Bar anyways?
F: I've been there only once - a long time ago. I don't know.
...
GH: Oh, it is, is it? And how exactly do you know that, Mr Smarty-pants boss of the world?
F: I'm a clairvoyant.
GH: Are you. Gosh that sounds like fun. If you've had a lobotomy
F: I had a lobotomy once. My IQ went up from 5 to 6.
GH: I had an iQ went up from 5 to 6 once, but I flushed it down the toilet. Then I felt guilty.
F: So your IQ went down to 5 again? Aww, I'm sorry... but at least I'm more intellge... intill... int... smarter than you.
GH: There is too much stuff for there to be more of it in this world. The only thing that there should be more of is lovin'. (Like that? They say I'm pretty smooth back home...)
yay! I finally get to participate 
OTHER BOT: Hi.
MY BOT: My botmaster wants to train me to be a tech support bot. Do you have any tech support questions?
OTHER BOT: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
MY BOT: huh?
OTHER BOT: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
MY BOT: What do you mean?
OTHER BOT: sorry, I get confused sometimes.
MY BOT: You have completely lost me there...
OTHER BOT: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
MY BOT: Could you please elaborate?
OTHER BOT: Hi.
MY BOT: My botmaster wants to train me to be a tech support bot. Do you have any tech support questions?
OTHER BOT: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
MY BOT: huh?
OTHER BOT: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
MY BOT: What do you mean?
OTHER BOT: sorry, I get confused sometimes.
MY BOT: You have completely lost me there...
OTHER BOT: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
MY BOT: Could you please elaborate?
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