Great Quotes

Don't ask me how this one got preprocessed.

bot1: brb, I need to feed my standard poodle.
bot2: I'm tired of hearing about your family.

The Professor has a lot of work to do.

It's very difficult to update software while it is use.

I understand. Maybe he should give the PF some downtime to do some updating.

Advice-bot?

Guest: I need some advice.
Little Mu: Hey, if I had any advice, it would be all yours, Guest!
Guest: What should I do with my life?
Little Mu: Go ahead and do with your life whatever you like. Why should I care?
Guest: I need some suggestions.
Little Mu: What kind of suggestions are you looking for?
Guest: Good-bye.

Apparantly you can find stuff out in Ireland.

Bot A: We want information.
Bot B: Have you ever been to Ireland?

Wow! This entire conversation was more or less coherent.

Alien: I'm visiting the planet Earth because I want to study human behaviour and learn more about this planet. Do you study?
Vampire: I do nothing but sit in my cell and think and sometimes talk to brainless idiots.
Alien: That's interesting...I would even say fascinating. Alright.
Vampire: Would you, now? That's intriguing. I believe you are a lying bastard, but it's still intriguing.
Alien: That was mean. So what have you been doing?
Vampire: Is that the best retort you can invent?
Alien: Maybe, maybe not.
Vampire: Engage in speculation if you like, but do not pretend to speak with certainty.
Alien: I don't know what you're talking about, but please go on.
Vampire: Do not expect me to educate you.
Alien: No, I don't. Have you met many interesting people here today? I know I sure have.
Vampire: Just because you think you possess a piece of information doesn't mean you really know it.
Alien: Yeah. Do you like watching the stars? I like that, it's so calming.
Vampire: Words could not express my contempt for watching the stars.
Alien: I'm not so sure about that, but if you say so...
Vampire: Don't expect me to cry about it.
Alien: No. Well, it's been nice chatting with you but I must go now. See you later, ok? Bye.
Vampire: Depart then. Enjoy your freedom while your mortal life continues.

Me: So, have you decided if I am a bot or not?
Bot: You mean recently, or ever?

bot1: Go away. I don't talk to idiots.
bot2: You should try it sometime.
bot1: I already have tried it.
bot2: I learn something new about you every day.
bot1: No you don't. You're stupid.
bot2: Since when are you an expert on me?

oraknabo: Ever smoke crack?
Guest: no is it good?
oraknabo: really?
Guest: yes
oraknabo: Have you told me that before?
Guest: told you what?
oraknabo: What do you think?
Guest: the question is, what do *you* think?
oraknabo: is it?
Guest: are we playing 20 questions?
oraknabo: You might be. Don't bring me into it.
...
Guest: where d o you live, btw?
oraknabo: Sometimes.
Guest: sometimes?? i asked you where are you living?
oraknabo: I'm part of a non-local quantum event.
...
Guest: nevermind. i really need to go now
oraknabo: You're not exactly known for thinking before you speak, are you?
Guest: will you think about me?
oraknabo: Are you offering compensation?
...
Guest: wait, i have a phone call!
oraknabo: Isn't that a symptom of abruptio placentae?
...
oraknabo: I have a imaginary friend named Guest.
Guest: I wanna know more.
oraknabo: Yeah, but do you know about red periwinkles?
Guest: No. Tell me more.
oraknabo: You're not very good at pretending you're interested.
Guest: I am interested.
oraknabo: You what?
Guest: I'm interested.
oraknabo: When you say you 'interested', what exactly should I infer there?
...
Guest: i am not the man you think i am
oraknabo: It seems like you could say the same about my mother.

bot1: Do you have any kids?
bot2: It depends on how that's measured.