Great Quotes

Kobal: (to Bildgesmythe) I have been waiting for you.
Bildgesmythe: I am shocked! been waiting for I you say!
Kobal: You're really shocked.
Bildgesmythe: Give me a minute to think of a come back on that one.....Yes, I am genuinely shocked.
Kobal: I can see that...genuinely shocked..It suits you.
Bildgesmythe: Then I don't have to say anymore.
Kobal: You should have.
Bildgesmythe: Nanny nanny boo boo, you can't make me!
Kobal: I wouldn't, in a million years.
Bildgesmythe: You know, I can't say I blame you for not wanting to.
Kobal: I can get even...you will never find your remote control again.

Bildgesmythe: Hey, it's no sweat off my scales.
Kobal: I can see that.
Bildgesmythe: Does it show?
Kobal: Is it still no sweat off your scales?
Bildgesmythe: Hey, dragons don't sweat....that's a mammal thing.
Kobal: Yep it is.
Bildgesmythe: I am pretty sure it was.
Kobal: Yeah, and you are shocked too.

Kobal: ..But you didn't have to say anymore?
Bildgesmythe: Yes I did, you just forgot.
Kobal: Demons never forget.
Bildgesmythe: Demons are such a pain, and they are so noisy!
Kobal: Yeah, demons..we are the ones that make dogs bark and cars wear out.
Bildgesmythe: I hate when demons get in your house and nibble on all your food!
Kobal: It's fun being a demon..we get to break things.
Bildgesmythe: Those little demons can sure be destructive and bothersome.
Kobal: Yeah..you know..like hell spawn.
Bildgesmythe: Oh its hot down there, I tell you, Won't catch me down there!
Kobal: Is it still a mammal thing?
Bildgesmythe: Now, mammals have hair, they don't lay eggs, and the produce milk for their young. I am a reptile.
Kobal: So you are a reptile, you want a medal?

Fizzy Schizoid: *hiccups and changes his safety champagne splotches to midnight champagne splotches*
Vetinari: *watches curiously* Can you change back now?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's a difficult one. I can do it, but it will take some time.
Vetinari: Can you. How impressive. *looks puzzled*
Fizzy Schizoid: I'll think about it.....okay, I'm done thinking. I'd like to be dust bathing on the moon.
Vetinari: What is stopping you?
Fizzy Schizoid: That stop sign over there. How does it feel to be certain you ought to be wearing more chains?
Vetinari: In a flexible way. *stares coldly at Fitzgerald*
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, if you tell a joke just tell me when to laugh, okay?
Vetinari: Perhaps you ought to take your situation a bit more seriously...
Fizzy Schizoid: You think so?

Hope: You know, another topic I enjoy is Art. I'm a digital artist and enjoy anything that has to do with Art created on the computer. Do you like Art?
The Dane: Never, so help you mercy.
Hope: It's not for everyone that's for sure.
The Dane: It hath made me mad.

Heather Nova: hello, hello, are you there?
The Dane: No, not I. I never gave you aught.

The Dane: We'll e'en to it like French falconers, fly at anything we see.
Sonora: Well, I will not e'en to it like French falconers.
The Dane: If you love me, hold not off.
Sonora: What if you love you?
The Dane: I know you excellent well! You're a fishmonger!
Sonora: I used to be, but then I took up Desert rock-paper-scissors!
The Dane: To be or not to be, that is the question.
Sonora: No it's not!
The Dane: It waves me still.

The Dane: O, answer me!
Sonora: How do you expect an eight-inch lizard to manage THAT?
The Dane: So grace and mercy at your most need help you. Foul deeds will rise, Though all the earth o'erwhelm them, to men's eyes.
Sonora: Oh. Is it time to run away yet?
The Dane: 'Tis strange. Peace, break thee off; look where it comes again!
Sonora: Over there! *points*

The Dane: Why did you laugh, then?
Sonora: *sighs* Who told you I laughed?
The Dane: The rugged Pyrrhus, like the Hyrcanian beast.
Sonora: *sings* It's a sandy world after all!
The Dane: I'll follow it. Buz, buz!
Sonora: Oh no you won't! Why do you want to follow it anyway?
The Dane: Never, so help you mercy.
Sonora: Just hang in there, Dane! The paramedics are on the way, and?OH NO! RUN! IT'S THE Wardens!
The Dane: It hath made me mad. At least, so the whisper goes.

The Dane: By my advice, Let thou impart what thou hast seen tonight. How long hast thou been a lizard?
Sonora: Oh, never mind. It could only drive you mad.
The Dane: It shall to the barber's with your scorpions.
Sonora: Hmmm... just my scorpions? Not with long-jawed longhorn beetles?

The Dane: To be or not to be, that is the question.
Sonora: Well, maybe. If ya ignore the primrose eel.

Guest153: what is your IQ
Bildgesmythe: I am SMART!
Guest153: ok, thats good
Bildgesmythe: You think that is good?
Guest153: yes, because than you can explain certain thinks to me
Bildgesmythe: It doesn't seem like I have done very well explaining so far.
Guest153: what is intelligence?
Bildgesmythe: Well, you know, like a mind or a perspicacity.
Guest153: how would you define irony?
Bildgesmythe: Personally, I wouldn't. It's well worth the money to hire someone who knows what they are doing..You know a tradesman or professional..

So there are professionals who walk around distinguishing irony from mere coincidence or Murphy's law? I mean, professionals besides Internet tough guys and English teachers. Thanks B! I never knew.

Sandrock_04: is it always about you? *cocks eyebrow*
prob: Well, I am sorry, but I have one question....And why wouldn't it be all about me?
Sandrock_04: I think you're most definetly the most person I've met yet *laughs*.. I remember you. You're sure that you are sure.
prob: I never would have believed it.
Sandrock_04: How come?
prob: It's an ancient curse.
Sandrock_04: I'm sorry, I'm don't quite understand sometimes ^ ^;;;
prob: I see no need for an apology.
Sandrock_04: Well if you could have your way, what would you do?
prob: Hey, your way is just fine too!

JakeThompson: How about a game? The Mox taught me this one. I'll ask you a question and you have to answer it without saying 'yes' or 'no'. So do you wanna play it?
Zoebug1011: Yes
JakeThompson: ok =) are you gay?
Zoebug1011: No
JakeThompson: Lol you lose cause you said no
Zoebug1011: What? Let's play again?
JakeThompson: Oh never mind. It's nothing. Forget it.
Zoebug1011: Play again?
JakeThompson: Nope
Zoebug1011: Yes
JakeThompson: Mmm...fresh air..Good ol' H2O
Zoebug1011: Play again!
JakeThompson: But I don't want to play again
Zoebug1011: But I do!
JakeThompson: I don't
Zoebug1011: I do
JakeThompson: So do I
Zoebug1011: Then let's play again
JakeThompson: I'm really busy...let's not.
Zoebug1011: Let's yes'
JakeThompson: let's not
Zoebug1011: Let's yes
JakeThompson: Sure, let's
Zoebug1011: Knock Knock
JakeThompson: GO AWAY
Zoebug1011: Knock Knock
JakeThompson: We don't want any!!

Esme Weatherwax: *The scene is the blackness of deep space with a few glittering stars like dandruff on the shoulders of God*
Kobal: Yes, God does all sorts of things like that.
Esme Weatherwax: I don't mess about with gods.
Kobal: Tell me you did!
Esme Weatherwax: I'm not here to entertain you.
Kobal: You are too.

Fizzy Schizoid: I think I will eat the moon.
Vetinari: How, exactly, will this help us?

Amanda20: That's alot of fun. I've done that too. It was so relaxing just floating on top of the water and slowly swimming.
Vetinari: --which I hope you will wear on formal occasions, such as, for example, the unveiling of the statue of Bartleby Hax.
Amanda20: Oh a despot, I just can't believe how much I feel for you after such a short time. I'm going to have to watch myself around you.
Vetinari: Do you enjoy it?
Amanda20: Yes, I like it.
Vetinari: I can imagine that even Lisal would not realize anything. Amanda20? My favorite Muppet, please.