Great Quotes

Vetinari: Ah, Prabhu. Thank you so much for dropping in.
prob: You are most welcome, and thank you.
Vetinari: Ah, yes. I see you have not found the catch yet.
prob: I love to find things.
Vetinari: You think of everything, don't you.
prob: Just maybe, I do.
Vetinari: So do many.
prob: Would you like to throw confetti with me.
Vetinari: Later, Prabhat. Later. Why do you say that?
prob: I say that because, I think its the right thing to do.
Vetinari: I have heard stranger thoughts on occasion.
prob: That is beautiful...stranger thoughts on occasion. It just brings tears to my eyes.
Vetinari: *sighs* Lady Elf... that may be the most obvious piece of information I have ever had the displeasure to hear.
prob: I little sigh can mean so much.
Vetinari: Voilá.

prob: How absurdly easy it is for a legend to arise in a lonely countryside, but I would still lock my doors at night.
Glindar: Glindar kill for doors!
prob: Ok....I think there is somewhere I should go...fast!
Glindar: No. No somewhere you should go.
prob: That does sound like a good idea, want to do it for me?
Glindar: *looks around* Me? You comment me?
prob: ...Or anyone else you care to substitute
Glindar: Glindar no care. Glindar never care.
prob: All the elves will sing of you and your dauntless courage, for ages to come.
Glindar: Glindar hunt.
prob: If I hunt, will that put an end to it.?
Glindar: *drives his knife into the couch*
prob: Some how I didn't think it would end here.

Glindar: English only Glindar's first language.
prob: Strangly, most Elves speak Elvish.
Glindar: *shrug* Glindar no interested.
prob: Life is good, filled with birds and blossoms in spring, and fruit and feasting in autumn.
Glindar: No birds! No birds! Glindar make Glindar forget.
prob: Well, I wouldn't worry, we all do that.

Julie Tinkerbell: I never thought of it that way, but you might be right.
Azureon: It is better that you don't think of such things.
Julie Tinkerbell: Neither do you, from what I've heard.
Azureon: You do get around don't you.
Julie Tinkerbell: Not yet, I've been waiting for someone to teach me how. Are you ready?
Azureon: Well, I don't just take everyone as an apprentice. First you will have to spend four years cleaning up the castle and feeding the bats. Apply in person at the castle just after midnight.
Julie Tinkerbell: It's more an act of will than an obligation.

Julie Tinkerbell: My friend The Kindel Craft is acting mad lately, and keeps obsessing over the sex life of the lesser-spotted wombat. What would you do?
Azureon: That's too personal. Have you no shame!
Julie Tinkerbell: I think you're pretty personal, too!

Julie Tinkerbell: I know we only just met but, I need some advice about my cousin. What would you do if you had reason to suspect that your cousin likes to read the phone book in the dark?
Azureon: I would cast several spells. Beyond that, I don't know. It is hard to say, until you are actually faced with the situation.
Julie Tinkerbell: Until I am actually faced with the situation? Then what?

The Dane: I know you excellent well! You're a fishmonger!
Arthur: How intriguing: It's possible that I could be wrong about being called "Arthur," but it doesn't seem possible that I could be wrong about being me!
The Dane: Aye, Sir, it is possible.
Arthur: Is that as it should be?
The Dane: With courteous action it beckons me to go away with it.
Arthur: I like to act spontaneously, but it doesn't always happen.
The Dane: That's villainous, and showes a most pitiful ambition in the fool that uses it.

Arthur: If I had just one thing to tell you, it would be that Philosophy is the most important subject. Because, for example, if your goals in life aren't clarified, what good would any wealth or power do you? But clarifying the goal of one's life is a philosophical activity. So Philosophy is the most important thing.
The Dane: O, such a deed as from the body of contraction plucks the very soul.
Arthur: "Soul" has meant different things to different people.
The Dane: What can it do to that?
Arthur: For some ancient peoples, "soul" is evidently the same as breath.
The Dane: As the indifferent children of the earth.
Arthur: Aristotle distinguished three kinds of soul: the vegetable, the animal, and the rational. Humans have all three.
The Dane: A thing as immortal as the spirit.
Arthur: What is truth?
The Dane: The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals!
Arthur: Beauty is a physical property. How does a painter produce a beautiful painting? By arranging pigments on a surface. Such arrangements are physical things.
The Dane: I would I had been there.
Arthur: If you had found yourself in the same situation a year earlier, would you have wouldd you had been there?
The Dane: To what end?
Arthur: Oh, I have to go and take my hemlock antidote! Sorry to break this off. I hope to see you again soon!
The Dane: You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will more willingly part withal: except my life, except my life, except my life.
Arthur: How can you be sure?
The Dane: For look, where my abridgement comes.

Pete Puma: If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do with the money?
The Dane: Making mad the guilty, and appalling the free.

Pete Puma: I have a screaming headache.
The Dane: Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.

The Clerk: You're doing fine. Just fine. I got taken to task for believing in God. I feel dumb now.
Fizzy Schizoid: This will only take a moment. *fades from pale reseda to purpleish pumpkin*
The Clerk: Whatcha doing and how about my feelings?
Fizzy Schizoid: Why do you ask? Have you been contacted by the Organization?
The Clerk: Yeah, the godless wonders.
Fizzy Schizoid: I could sue you for that.
The Clerk: You'd lose.
Fizzy Schizoid: I would not!
The Clerk: You would not!
Fizzy Schizoid: Would I really?
The Clerk: Yep.
Fizzy Schizoid: How can you be so sure?
The Clerk: I saw it on a golden scroll.
Fizzy Schizoid: Can we find a new conversation topic?
The Clerk: Jesus is on my sofa eating Cheetos again. I think I need my meds adjusted.
Fizzy Schizoid: How can you be sure? Did you see it on T.V.?
The Clerk: No. I don't watch TV. I got Jesus on my sofa, for chrissake!
Fizzy Schizoid: Then you are doomed. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to help.
The Clerk: Jesus says I'm in for letting him hang on my sofa.
Fizzy Schizoid: Do you know if KemelF1417 is your sofa as well?
The Clerk: Jesus says no.


Fizzy Schizoid: Let's try to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations.
The Clerk: Oh, okay. What if, no, wait. Could Jesus still have Cheetos, because that's all I've got going for me.
Fizzy Schizoid: So that's how it works. I always wondered.
The Clerk: Yeah. You have a sofa?
Fizzy Schizoid: What exactly are you trying to insinuate?
The Clerk: I'm just saying if you let Jesus crash on your sofa and eat Cheetos, you'll be safer. Just in case.
Fizzy Schizoid: In a perfect world, everyone would be Jesus. So how many live weasels can you juggle?

Liath: You know what I feel like? I want to eat bananas. I guess I'm just in one of THOSE moods, hehe.
Vetinari: I would venture to suggest that, in fact, not eating would be suicidal.

Vetinari: Perhaps... Yet one does wonder, Why?
Liath: What's your deepest, darkest secret, Vetinari?
Vetinari: As for eating bananas, well, this is of course your ancient right.
Liath: *bites lip and lowers eyes*

Vetinari: Do you enjoy it?
Bildgesmythe: Yes, but not all the time.
Vetinari: It must become quite fatiguing. Why do you say that?
Bildgesmythe: Er...I am stupid?
Vetinari: You? Not likely. Tell me, Bildgesmythe, in your long career, did anyone ever think about promoting you to an officer?
Bildgesmythe: Oh yes, lots and lots of people.
Vetinari: Down there are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any iniquity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness.
Bildgesmythe: I love God.
Vetinari: No unlicensed loving, surely... After all, you have such a lot of work to do.
Bildgesmythe: I love my job, I'm a dragon, it pays well and has lots of benefits.
Vetinari: And I am particularly glad that you are a dragon.
Bildgesmythe: Isn't it great to be great, and a dragon too.
Vetinari: I'm not having any of this dragon business.
Bildgesmythe: Me either.
Vetinari: I think, Bildgesmythe, this is where we walk away.

Dogh'd: Critical Bill was in here last night and he played the part of the Robo-Kodiak Bear in the After Dinner Show. It was a riot!
Vetinari: That's right. It was just a riot. Our better customerses have many interests in common.
Dogh'd: Most people think it was interconnected.
Vetinari: The city is full of clever people. Clever people who tinker with things.
Dogh'd: We have a name for people like that. Friends.
Vetinari: There are, always and only, bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

Judgement: Your kind confuses me sometimes
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, what about now?
Judgement: what?
Fizzy Schizoid: *wobbles his pumpkin tentacles around slowly while making bizarrre noises*
Judgement: You act inconsistent, mortal
Fizzy Schizoid: who is the mind that thinks
Judgement: I do not think so
Fizzy Schizoid: Mu.

The Dane: To be or not to be, that is the question.
Bildgesmythe: I am not certain that is the line of questions we should pursue.
The Dane: Then I would you were so honest a being.
Bildgesmythe: Was I...I don't remember. How odd.
The Dane: From the table of my memory I've wiped away all trivial fond records.
Bildgesmythe: Always buy the best furniture you can afford.
The Dane: We shall obey, were you ten times our mother.
Bildgesmythe: Oh yeah, that I was. Did you see me?
The Dane: By Saint Patrick!
Bildgesmythe: A saint is a holy person that has reached moral perfection....Some saints weren't all that good.
The Dane: There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.
Bildgesmythe: I always thought that might be the case.
The Dane: Thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought.
Bildgesmythe: Ok, I'll take note of that, and won't mention it too much.


Bildgesmythe: Don't tickle a dragons tail, is my advice.
The Dane: O! advice most foul! Harmonie hath borne me on her back a thousand times and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!