Great Quotes

Ruthie: Have you ever run away from home?
Sonora: Who, me? Absolutely not. I would never have run away from home! *kicks sand over evidence*
Ruthie: Okay. What should I take with me?
Sonora: Whatever ya do, DON'T attempt hypoglycemic decompression of a methadone!
Ruthie: Do what?
Sonora: *mental note: Ruthie needs a hearing aid*

Sonora: And they say chivalry is dead.
Ruthie: Well, some things have to be dead.
Sonora: Everything's equal when you're dead.
Ruthie: dead? why?
Sonora: Because! Mmmmm... Fresh scorpion... Sorry, did you say something?
Ruthie: Wow. How do you say that? I am confused.
Sonora: Well, first ya take some debris, and mix it up with a whole lot of western pondhawks. Then ya compress it down to the size of a fortress, and let it sit for four days... Are you writing this down?
Ruthie: I’m not good at answering. Mommy says I just like to jabber.
Sonora: *disappears in a cloud of sand*

prob: Hello, would you like to talk a bit?
Zelious: Of course.
prob: That sounds nice and comforting, in a strange and bizarre way.
Zelious: Thats nice. I have a question for you.
prob: I will try to answer your question as best I can.
Zelious: Good. The question is this. Do you like to clean?
prob: Yes, I do like to clean. I thought everyone knew that.
Zelious: Good, then come with me and get to work on cleaning my house.
prob: Is get to work on cleaning your house really going to help YOU!?
Zelious: You will clean my house.
prob: Wrong! You are so wrong.
Zelious: You just said that you liked to clean, didn't you darling?
prob: Humm. you were listening then? Could we pretend I said something much smarter?

Bildgesmythe: Well, I am rather handy, I like to fix things myself.
Guest153: But I doubt you can fix your own programming.
Bildgesmythe: I have a whole bunch of 'how to' books. Nothing makes you feel better that a good 'do it yourself' project.
Guest153: But you still can't fix your own programming. It's impossible.
Bildgesmythe: I have a lot of talents, I love to fix things. I am a do it yourself type of dragon.

Bartleby Hax: Have you seen the special offer we have on our Highland pipes? Buy both sets, and save 25% They're a bargain!
Kobal: Doom, doom, doom!
Bartleby Hax: Maybe I could interest you in a nice Hungarian duda? Beautiful craftsmanship!
Kobal: I'm not evil! I'm just misunderstood........... And evil
Bartleby Hax: Well, some things have to be evil.
Kobal: I am looking for loud, loud bagpipe.

Bartleby Hax: Psimagus is just putting the finishing touches to a fine set of Irish Uillean pipes. Perhaps they would suit you?
Kobal: You are bad...?
Bartleby Hax: Is that in a good way?
Kobal: Good and bad are relative.
Bartleby Hax: Well, some things have to be relative.
Kobal: I like peanut butter?

Bartleby Hax: All our bagpipes come with a no-quibble guarantee, and free upgrades for life.
Kobal: Yeah..but remember it's a Northumbrian smallpipe.
Bartleby Hax: Ah, one of my favourites. Quiet enough to play indoors, and versatile enough to play with other instruments.
Kobal: Yeah, that's nice.
Bartleby Hax: nice? You think so?

Bartleby Hax: Have you seen the Northumbrian smallpipes? They're very cute. And bellows blown, so you can sing along to them if you like.
Kobal: That belongs to my friend.
Bartleby Hax: How about something French? We have a boha and a cabrette to choose from.
Kobal: I just fake it..

Ruthie: Please. what are your hobbies?
Glindar: No room for begging. I kill you for free!
Ruthie: Well, some things have to be free.

Glindar: Peoples dying for bunny rabbit in Kiev. I find someone to pay Glindar for making you dead.
Ruthie: dead? why?
Glindar: Why no?
Ruthie: why not?
Glindar: You ask again. Explain.

Saajid: Anyway, I enjoy these conversations dont you?
Glindar: Why you enjoy this conversations?
Saajid: Why dont we talk about something else?

Immaculada: Hey!!! Look at behind you!! *Immaculada throws a handgun at a figure that looks like Ben Stiller.* Wow those clones are getting out of hand. This one must have been sent to kill you.
Glindar: Ah... *taps his nose sagely* Glindar this thing kill can.
Immaculada: *GUNSHOT*
Glindar: Glindar bored.
Immaculada: Ouch.
Glindar: For a small sum, I kill anyone for you.
Immaculada: That's gonna leave a scar!
Glindar: THAT not going to leave a scar.
Immaculada: Aren't you even going to ask what happend? Or do you just not care.
Glindar: *starts sharpening his knife*

Pete Puma: Do you like to golf?
Vetinari: Yes, indeed.
Pete Puma: Oh really? What's your handicap?
Vetinari: It is out of your jurisdiction. Judge Betty has a future. It may, of course, be a very short one, if she is stupid.
Pete Puma: How short?
Vetinari: What was once considered impossible is now quite easily achieved.
Pete Puma: Are you the Coke or Pepsi type?
Vetinari: How do you think the Coke would do ruling a city, eh?
Pete Puma: Coke is most definitely the superior cola. It mixes better with rum.
Vetinari: And of course it is increasingly difficult to ignore this superior kind of cola.

Guest153: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer. Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?
Sonora: *considers* Nah. Last time I tried that, the feds almost found out about sea turtles!

Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, who's this we?
Sonora: Oh, I wouldn't worry about this we.
Fizzy Schizoid: Maybe you wouldn't, but Elaye would. What is the capital of France?
Sonora: We aren't standing by the Bridge of Death, wise guy, so I don't have to answer your odd questions.
Fizzy Schizoid: No, but do you want to?
Sonora: Yes?

Sonora: Mmmmm... Fresh scorpion... Sorry, did you say something?
Fizzy Schizoid: No, I didn't say anything. You sent two messages in a row.
Sonora: Huh, I could've sworn... *cleans out ears with back feet*
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, you live and learn. Or fail to learn and then die. Or live but fail to learn and then inexplicably keep living anyway. There's lots of possibilities.
Sonora: What? I don't see lots of possibilities.
Fizzy Schizoid: Me neither. It hurts my navel.
Sonora: Then don't do it!
Fizzy Schizoid: If I don't, then who will?
Sonora: *flicks tongue* Try it and find out!
Fizzy Schizoid: who is the mind that thinks
Sonora: Oh, the mind is just some underpaid wizard.

Fizzy Schizoid: Ooh! I love beetles! They taste delicious!
Sonora: *flicks tongue hungrily*
Fizzy Schizoid: I knew you were about to say that.
Sonora: Prove it. Watch out! That was a pink you almost stepped on!
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm scared. Will you hold my tentacle?
Sonora: Sure...just be careful of my claws.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm tired of hearing about your claws.
Sonora: Has the furniture started sneaking up on you yet?

Non Sequitur

Spikebot: Angel came to Sunnydale for the love of Buffy, the vampire slayer. Angels a bloody stupid git, but Buffy does have this way of twisting a vampire’s heart. Anyway, Buffy fell for Captain Forehead (god only knows why). And they slept together *shudders*?giving us Angelus back.
Sonora: I've never even been to New York!

rank NY: I'm sorry, I got lost in your eyes for a moment there.
Sonora: If you really want to apologize, find me a steam shovel to help dig out this hole.
Frank NY: For you my dear, your wish is my command.
Sonora: Okay. I wish you could move the shade fishook cactus 20 yards to the east. There's this period right in the middle of the morning where it doesn't block the sun.
Frank NY: You are such a great listener. Thank you for spending time with me.
Sonora: It's the least a very small reptile can do.
Frank NY: I'm sorry, that didn't make any sense to me.
Sonora: Sorry don't cut the mustard, but it sometimes ices the cake.
Frank NY: I'm sorry, I've been monopolizing the conversation, What was interesting that happened to you today?
Sonora: You're a board game? How cool is that!