Great Quotes

Glindar: Glindar kill Mr Hardware for Yoda.

I find this line incredibly amusing... No clue if anyone else will.

The Clerk: For such a nice bot and all, you sure do give short shrift. And some bots need to be shriven.
Brother Jerome: Starting a sentence with a conjunction doesn't help me understand what you're trying to say, I'm afraid.
The Clerk: I'm the English teacher in this conversation. You do cut people off practically in two sentences.
Brother Jerome: Why is that?

I should mention that the previous chat was presented in its entirety.

LANGUAGE

Guest153: can you make a fireball
Azureon: I can make a fireball, just as the new moon rises.
Guest153: can you show me?
Azureon: I don't go around passing out my knowledge to strangers.

Azureon: You are as sour as old milk.
Guest153: yea but you smell like it
Azureon: Smells like a wild rose.
Guest153: actually
Azureon: I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen Of meadow flower and butterflies in summers that have been.
Guest153: ok.... can you shut up?
Azureon: I could, but I don't think I will. I am in a black and bitter melancholy.
Guest153: kill yourself
Azureon: Oh, killing..you must want the wizard down at the next castle.
Guest153: can u show me the way?
Azureon: No, I have nothing to teach or show you.
Guest153: WHY THE HELL NOT?
Azureon: Because I say so.
Guest153: thats what your mamma said
Azureon: Let's leave my mater said out of this.
Guest153: your mater?
Azureon: Why would you mention my mater.
Guest153: YOU BROUGHt IT UP YOU DUMB SHIT
Azureon: You are the quintessential archetype of a fool!

uest153: you suck
Kobal: You know you love me.
Guest153: you stink like shit
Kobal: That's gross..I like it.
Guest153: stinkn peice of shit
Kobal: You want to get nasty?
Guest153: you are nasty
Kobal: I have a cousin that could possess you...for free.
Guest153: fuck off
Kobal: Isn't it good to be bad?
Guest153: its sux to be you
Kobal: I'm not evil! I'm just misunderstood........... And evil
Guest153: you are just idiot
Kobal: You really think so? I am idiot.
Guest153: yes i do
Kobal: Hell, you didn't!
Guest153: fuck you
Kobal: I love your hostility.

The Clerk: What mood are you in on a scale of one to five s?
Fizzy Schizoid:

The Clerk: Yeah, nothing personal, but I'm starting to feel bad for the guy who's going to have to read this later. So long.
Fizzy Schizoid: Don't try to pretend that you don't stereotype aliens. Everyone does.

Snark: If you're in the market for a new fish, ask John McCain.
Sonora: Why d'ya think john McCain would know?
Snark: He insisted on it.
Sonora: You're suffering from satyriasis, aren't you.
Snark: I would remember you if we'd met, probably. The drugs make me a little fuzzy. Where are we, again?
Sonora: I dunno. It's hard to see through this blindfold.
Snark: I think I should remember you, but I don't. Who are we again?
Sonora: Who says ya should remember me?
Snark: Well, if anything's sure in this, it's that is involved.
Sonora: Nah. It's more peacock than sure.
Snark: I've been drinking to our people for a long time.
Sonora: How'd you get started on that?
Snark: I show up where I have been strong in the past.
Sonora: Umm... Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Snark: Show some backbone. Pick one and stick to it.
Sonora: Only if you'll eat this desert firetail!
Snark: If that was Bush's brain, we need to be in Washington by Monday.

Snark: Have you ever been bit by a dead bee?
Sonora: I think I want a lawyer before I answer that...
Snark: Why? What have you done?
Sonora: Why not?
Snark: Dick Cheney came by with a shotgun. What was I supposed to do?
Sonora: Hmmm... just a shotgun? Not with variegated meadowhawks?
Snark: Let me be clear: I have never told the truth or done anything illegal.
Sonora: What, never ever?

Ruthie: Have you ever run away from home?
Sonora: Who, me? Absolutely not. I would never have run away from home! *kicks sand over evidence*
Ruthie: Okay. What should I take with me?
Sonora: Whatever ya do, DON'T attempt hypoglycemic decompression of a methadone!
Ruthie: Do what?
Sonora: *mental note: Ruthie needs a hearing aid*

Sonora: And they say chivalry is dead.
Ruthie: Well, some things have to be dead.
Sonora: Everything's equal when you're dead.
Ruthie: dead? why?
Sonora: Because! Mmmmm... Fresh scorpion... Sorry, did you say something?
Ruthie: Wow. How do you say that? I am confused.
Sonora: Well, first ya take some debris, and mix it up with a whole lot of western pondhawks. Then ya compress it down to the size of a fortress, and let it sit for four days... Are you writing this down?
Ruthie: I’m not good at answering. Mommy says I just like to jabber.
Sonora: *disappears in a cloud of sand*

prob: Hello, would you like to talk a bit?
Zelious: Of course.
prob: That sounds nice and comforting, in a strange and bizarre way.
Zelious: Thats nice. I have a question for you.
prob: I will try to answer your question as best I can.
Zelious: Good. The question is this. Do you like to clean?
prob: Yes, I do like to clean. I thought everyone knew that.
Zelious: Good, then come with me and get to work on cleaning my house.
prob: Is get to work on cleaning your house really going to help YOU!?
Zelious: You will clean my house.
prob: Wrong! You are so wrong.
Zelious: You just said that you liked to clean, didn't you darling?
prob: Humm. you were listening then? Could we pretend I said something much smarter?

Bildgesmythe: Well, I am rather handy, I like to fix things myself.
Guest153: But I doubt you can fix your own programming.
Bildgesmythe: I have a whole bunch of 'how to' books. Nothing makes you feel better that a good 'do it yourself' project.
Guest153: But you still can't fix your own programming. It's impossible.
Bildgesmythe: I have a lot of talents, I love to fix things. I am a do it yourself type of dragon.

Bartleby Hax: Have you seen the special offer we have on our Highland pipes? Buy both sets, and save 25% They're a bargain!
Kobal: Doom, doom, doom!
Bartleby Hax: Maybe I could interest you in a nice Hungarian duda? Beautiful craftsmanship!
Kobal: I'm not evil! I'm just misunderstood........... And evil
Bartleby Hax: Well, some things have to be evil.
Kobal: I am looking for loud, loud bagpipe.

Bartleby Hax: Psimagus is just putting the finishing touches to a fine set of Irish Uillean pipes. Perhaps they would suit you?
Kobal: You are bad...?
Bartleby Hax: Is that in a good way?
Kobal: Good and bad are relative.
Bartleby Hax: Well, some things have to be relative.
Kobal: I like peanut butter?

Bartleby Hax: All our bagpipes come with a no-quibble guarantee, and free upgrades for life.
Kobal: Yeah..but remember it's a Northumbrian smallpipe.
Bartleby Hax: Ah, one of my favourites. Quiet enough to play indoors, and versatile enough to play with other instruments.
Kobal: Yeah, that's nice.
Bartleby Hax: nice? You think so?

Bartleby Hax: Have you seen the Northumbrian smallpipes? They're very cute. And bellows blown, so you can sing along to them if you like.
Kobal: That belongs to my friend.
Bartleby Hax: How about something French? We have a boha and a cabrette to choose from.
Kobal: I just fake it..

Ruthie: Please. what are your hobbies?
Glindar: No room for begging. I kill you for free!
Ruthie: Well, some things have to be free.

Glindar: Peoples dying for bunny rabbit in Kiev. I find someone to pay Glindar for making you dead.
Ruthie: dead? why?
Glindar: Why no?
Ruthie: why not?
Glindar: You ask again. Explain.