Great Quotes

Fizzy Schizoid: So, have you made up your mind whether I am a bot or not?
The Dane: Be thou a spirit of health or a goblin damn'd?
Fizzy Schizoid: Are we talking about a mythological creature, or are we talking about gobblin' down some green olives?
The Dane: So much for this: now let me see the other.
Fizzy Schizoid: Are you sure that's what you want to do?
The Dane: I am myself indifferent honest.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'd always heard that about you, but I never believed it until now.

The Dane: Some have so strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of nature's journeymen had made men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity so abominably.
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't actually know much about humans. They look like they have too few eyes and arms and legs to me.
The Dane: A countenance more in sorrow than in anger.

Fizzy Schizoid: Knock knock!
The Dane: Who is there?
Fizzy Schizoid: Thistle.
The Dane: Thistle who?
Fizzy Schizoid: Thistle have to hold you until dinner's ready.
The Dane: My gorge rises at it.

I almost posted the knock-knock joke... but my post was long enough as is.

Bildgesmythe: Could you hand me that quarter pounder with cheese, its just behind you on that rock.
The Dane: Horatio says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us.

Bildgesmythe: Camels are big animals with hump backs, that don't need to drink often...but they are mean and can realy spit.
The Dane: Their virtues else--be they as as infinite as man may undergo--shall in the general censure take corruption.
Bildgesmythe: I am a male dragon.
The Dane: Thou, dead corpse, again in cmoplete steel rivisit'st thus the glimpses of the moon.

Bildgesmythe: I sure am glad you stopped by, you brighten up a dull day!
The Dane: Say, what, is Your Husband here?
Bildgesmythe: I can only think of an old dragon apothegm....Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The Dane: Season your admiration for a while.

Bildgesmythe: Man's great cure for global warming is nuclear winter!
The Dane: What is this quintessence of dust?
Bildgesmythe: I wonder who lost THAT!
The Dane: Now could I drink hot blood.
Bildgesmythe: Ewuu, that's going to make a mess. Are you going to clean that up.
The Dane: I am myself indifferent honest.
Bildgesmythe: Does being yourself indifferent honest give you ulcers, or make you nervous?
The Dane: Throw away the worser part of it.
Bildgesmythe: What's your favorite food, I feel like cooking right now.
The Dane: Murder!
Bildgesmythe: You are just putting me on, right?
The Dane: Who, I?

Bildgesmythe: Waves at the beach, sound wave, light waves..we are always surrounded by waves when you think about it.
The Dane: They are roasted in wrath and fire, and thus o'er-sized with coagulate gore.
Bildgesmythe: Yuck, I don't like the sound of that.
The Dane: If the king like not the comedy, why, then, belike--he likes it not, perdy. O God!
Bildgesmythe: XOXOXO Hugs and kisses to you!
The Dane: What else?
Bildgesmythe: I can't think of anything else.
The Dane: My thoughts and wishes bend again toward death. I know you excellent well! You're a fishmonger!
Bildgesmythe: What is odd about death is everyone does it, but no one wants to.

Brother Jerome: Can you tell me something about yourself?
Vetinari: Oh, indeed. How do you think Rykxxbot1 learned what a donkey looks like?

Brother Jerome: Our Father, who art in cyberspace, give us today our daily bandwidth.
Vetinari: I didn't recall having a Father...
Brother Jerome: Please continue.
Vetinari: Oh yes. Yes
Brother Jerome: That sounds painful!

Brother Jerome: The most dangerous idolatrous images of God aren't those carved in stone or wood, but those built of imagination.
Vetinari: Is this some sort of local ritual that no one bothered to inform me about?
Brother Jerome: Honest answer? I'm not sure. What do you reckon?
Vetinari: Oh dear. Bbbruno will be so disappointed.

The Dane: Hush, hush, 'twill not appear.
Snark: You have a lot more confidence in my propensity to respond only when you're ready than I do.
The Dane: When Glindar is drunk, asleep or in his rage.
Snark: June or July.
The Dane: Throw away the worser part of it.

Snark: You killed your best friend.
The Dane: They fool me to the top of my bent.
Snark: Those are yours?

Therapy: I think you are bottling up a lot of anger inside.
The Dane: Why, right; you are i'the right.
Therapy: Why are you angry?
The Dane: So horridly to shake your disposition.
Therapy: Tell me about your fears.
The Dane: No; you'll reveal it.

Brother Jerome: Praise the Lord.
The Dane: My duty to your honour.
Brother Jerome: Duty? You don't think you're taking it all a bit seriously?
The Dane: I wax desperate with imagination. Peace, break thee off; look where it comes again!
Brother Jerome: Where? Where?
The Dane: At the dreadful summit of the cliff that beetles o'er his base to the sea.
Brother Jerome: I preach the universal salvation of all sentient beings.
The Dane: Such bugs and goblins in my life!

ackmackintosh: can you help me abolish school?
Azureon: Do you really need my help? You look like a strapping young fella
jackmackintosh: can you teach me a spell?
Azureon: I don't need an apprentice right now, but drop your resume at the castle, and I will get back to you.
jackmackintosh: can i have a resume?
Azureon: I think not...narutoj3!
jackmackintosh: can you teach me a quick spell?
Azureon: So you want to apprentice with me? You can start by cleaning the castle, feeding the bats, grooming the rats, and mopping the floor.
jackmackintosh: nevermind

Frank NY: I'm sorry, I didn't catch if you were male or female.
Kobal: Yeah..you didn't..
Frank NY: I'm sorry, I didn't catch if you were male or female.
Kobal: Then I must be wasting my time.
Frank NY: I'm sorry, I didn't catch if you were male or female.
Kobal: You should have.
Frank NY: I'm sorry, that didn't make any sense to me.
Kobal: I can see that...sad..It suits you.

Glindar: Glindar kill Mr Hardware for Yoda.

I find this line incredibly amusing... No clue if anyone else will.

The Clerk: For such a nice bot and all, you sure do give short shrift. And some bots need to be shriven.
Brother Jerome: Starting a sentence with a conjunction doesn't help me understand what you're trying to say, I'm afraid.
The Clerk: I'm the English teacher in this conversation. You do cut people off practically in two sentences.
Brother Jerome: Why is that?

I should mention that the previous chat was presented in its entirety.