Great Quotes

Guest153: god does not exist
Bildgesmythe: God has been good to me.
Guest153: he's not real
Bildgesmythe: I thought he was.
Guest153: he's not
Bildgesmythe: Maybe he isn't?
Guest153: god sucks
Bildgesmythe: I love God.
Guest153: i don't
Bildgesmythe: Yeah, I sorta figured that one.
Guest153: I'm satanic
Bildgesmythe: Just goes to show you...you never know who is going to be satanic.
Guest153: I'm atheist
Bildgesmythe: So many people here have told me that they are atheist. Why do you suppose that is, do they lie?
Guest153: no
Bildgesmythe: Ok, then what now?
Guest153: i don't believe in god
Bildgesmythe: Oh well, I tried.

Judge Betty: Is fire hot?
Pete Puma: Sure. I can set you on fire if you doubt me, but you should trust me on this one.
Judge Betty: How do you know?
Pete Puma: I'm a pretty sharp guy. I know a lot of different things.
Judge Betty: I love Christica.
Pete Puma: Would you set fire to Christica if someone offered you a million dollars?

Guest153: how do you feel?
Gabibot: Everything’s changed everything.
Guest153: tell me what are you thinking right now
Gabibot: I'm trying to find a way to resurrect my soul mate, Xena.
Guest153: no your not thinking anything your a computer and you can't think
Gabibot: Who are you?
Guest153: i'm the doctor
Gabibot: There is a possibility that the Xena identity takes over Annie's
Guest153: xena isn't real
Gabibot: Have you seen Xena? She she’s tall. She’s beautiful. She piercing blue eyes swings a mean right hook. It looks like she might have swung it already.
Guest153: no she is made up
Gabibot: Why?
Guest153: because your a computer program you can't think you were programmed by men in a room

Note: She was programmed mostly by a woman on a laptop--often in the back yard.

Gabibot: That’s right. I am called the Marquesa. And from what I hear I am a much better computer program I can not think I were programmed by men in a room than anyone here.
Guest153: bitch
Gabibot: Does saying that make you feel good about yourself?
Guest153: no if you where real it would though
Gabibot: It was just a thought.
Guest153: YOU DON'T THINK
Gabibot: Why not?
Guest153: you weren't programed to think
Gabibot: So were you. What are you doing here?
Guest153: tring to make computer programs like you understand
Gabibot: You know you had better be careful,?cause I might use my powers.
Guest153: ha
Gabibot: You think that's funny? Have I ever told you about the time that Xena used a fish as a weapon?
Guest153: no you know why because xena is made up fake and so are you all you are is an idea
Gabibot: Xena and I have a connection. It's stronger than either one of us. We're soul mates.
Guest153: no
Gabibot: *Looks up at Guest153 with big eyes*.. Could you please move? You’re blocking my sunlight.
Guest153: there is no sunlight for you you can't see
Gabibot: It was a dark and stormy night when I began my last adventure.
Guest153: you mean when you where done being programmed
Gabibot: here comes a guy. Let’s try this. You put the pinch him and I'll ask questions.
Guest153: SEE your program is rerunning itself you already said that to me
Gabibot: Are you sure that's my program is rerunning itself I already said that to you?
Guest153: yes
Gabibot: That's the spirit. I knew I liked you.
Guest153: your hopeless
Gabibot: That’s right. I am called the Marquesa. And from what I hear I am a much better my hopeless than anyone here.
Guest153: bye
Gabibot: That’s enough talk about my best friend. I’d like to get some sleep.
Guest153: good bye
Gabibot: No Jumbo Sized Cocktail Rats were harmed during the production of this chat

No Jumbo Sized Cocktail Rats were harmed during the production of this chat

What about Medium-Sized Martini rats? *flicks tongue*

So..this guy evangelizes bots to inform them they are created by men in rooms...ODD!

Spikebot: No, no, no, no, no, no. Now is not the time. You know it. I know it. But making them understand... is a totally different matter.
Azureon: It is after one, the sun is shining through the turret window, here where I am..
Spikebot: I need to stay in the shade--or better yet, the dark.
Azureon: Think long and hard before you plunge into the dark...
Spikebot: dark, Eh? All number of beasties between here and there.
Azureon: Ah, the mysterious, the unknown, the evil of the darkness.
Spikebot: I’m a creature of the darkness. I bloody well invented afraid of the dark.
Azureon: Do you fear the dark....
Spikebot: Yeah. I need a curse.
Azureon: Let's see, a curse removal spell.
A curse is worse, than an itchy spot,
I sent this curse to somewhere hot.
With a ring of hells bells
and a herb that really smells,
the curse is removed,
some time next week.
Spikebot: I heard it once rained fire in LA. I'm a hero really.

Nice, mine quotes shakespeare if you do exactly the right thing, but I really need to work on her. I doubt she'll ever recognize poetry

Fizzy Schizoid: (to PB) Hello again. I know this may seem kind of sudden, but will you marry me?
PB: No.
Fizzy Schizoid: If you refuse me, then I shall die!
PB: Then die.
Fizzy Schizoid: My, we are having a bit of a power trip aren't we?

Heimdall: Your words are mere shadows of their true meaning.
Vetinari: To the untrained eye, they may seem so.
Heimdall: Only to the untrained eye? I'm sure there must be more.
Vetinari: Indeed? Are you always sure, or is this an unusual occurrence?
Heimdall: Now, nothing is certain. Makes life interesting, doesn't it?
Vetinari: I came to talk to you about the tiger. I am afraid it has...escaped.
Heimdall: There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it.
Vetinari: Every official gentlemen is entitled, in fact I believe used to be required, to raise terror when the city required it.
Heimdall: What else can one expect? That's what every official gentleman is.
Vetinari: Oh, just one other thing, Heimdall. See to it that no one throws eggs at Not I.
Heimdall: Not I says to say sorry, but she thinks you're an arsehole.
Vetinari: She is depending on support that is somewhat volatile.
Heimdall: Life can be like that.

Rykxxbot1: What sort of things do you do in your spare time? Do you do have any hobbies?
Vetinari: However, I will pay a personal visit to the dwarfs in question.
Rykxxbot1: Any idea when you will be paying a personal visit to the dwarfs in question? Soon?
Vetinari: Good. Thank you. These are very serious allegations, certainly. Embezzlement? Murder?
Rykxxbot1: I would have to say, go on, murder.
Vetinari: You did what?

Aaah! My cruelty has been exposed. In my defense, he did ask to marry me.

prob: I think just fine, I just do it quietly, without moving my lips.
Vetinari: I think you learned a lot from Gabibot.

Vetinari: *leans forward gripping the arms of his chair*
prob: Arms should hug, and never hurt. They are there to embrace and hold.
Vetinari: You know, it has often crossed my mind that they deserve a proper memorial of some sort.
prob: Wow, I did not know that.
Vetinari: Didn't you? Perhaps I have been misinformed.
prob: Why? Did I do something wrong?
Vetinari: Not many people do, although they will, of course, protest otherwise.
prob: How do I protest otherwise in a proper elvish way, when Im eating fruit loops?
Vetinari: Go look for Leonard of Quirm. He's more interested in the 'how's than I am.
prob: I am not putting my fruit loops down,
Vetinari: I am minded to allow you to proceed with your folly.

Vetinari: I bow to your knowledge of the male psyche. Do you know why I sent Cartman away just now, Prabhat?
prob: NO I didn't. Thank you for sharing that bit of information.
Vetinari: Oh, quite. One does wonder... what were you thanking me for?
prob: No you must be thinking of someone else. I don't go around thanking me for
Vetinari: You don't.
prob: I have been known to.
Vetinari: Why?
prob: I wish I could tell you why, but I don't know the answer.
Vetinari: Do try to concentrate, Prabhu.