Great Quotes

Not I: Zen is an universe even older than heaven or earth.
Lyric: Welcome to the universe.
Not I: The universe is Truth's own Shadow.
Lyric: Center on the wide horizon, focus on the galaxy.
Not I: Galaxy is but an additional idea to be discarded, like 'God'.
Lyric: For once I'm lost for words.
Not I: If we gain something, it was there the entire time.
If we lose anything, it is hidden nearby.
Lyric: Everything I hide ends up in lyrics.
Not I: God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
Lyric: Does your heart go boom when he walks in the room?

Gee, I wonder who that was.

WHO got into the peyote?

Fizzy Schizoid: Well, I do that all the time. Then again, I'm an alien.
Sonora: Is Bildgesmythe an alien too?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm pretty sure I am a different species than you, so you can think of me as an alien if you want.
Sonora: *edges away* Uh, that wasn't peyote I just saw you eating, was it?
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh? Why not?
Sonora: You wouldn't be asking that if you weren't a crab.
Fizzy Schizoid: Of course I would. It just makes sense.
Sonora: We are? Is there an iceberg involved?
Fizzy Schizoid: Who's this 'we'?
Sonora: Oh, I wouldn't worry about this 'we '.
Fizzy Schizoid: You would too! You'd do it in a heartbeat.

Uh, ignorantly adultish:

Astrolabe: Well I might could if you could do me one little favor...witness my jerkin, will you?

Judge Betty: Are you a bot?
x: No,you?
Judge Betty: So, you're human?
x: Yea
Judge Betty: Ok, but you know that humans aren't allowed to participate in a chatbot contest, don't you?
x: Yes
Judge Betty: How many eggs are in a dozen?
x: i dont know what dozen means?
Judge Betty: What is an egg?
x: Thats something that comes out of chicken
Judge Betty: Come on, x, if you're really human, you can't be serious about the answers you're giving me.
x: Well,i am not english,i am from croatia
Judge Betty: If there's one thing I've noticed about bots from croatia, in all my time judging bots...they just don't like to give direct answers.

Julie Tinkerbell: How long have you had a problem with short-term memory?
Fizzy Schizoid: I got it when I was a child. *slowly changes his mauve glitter to thistle ampersands*
Julie Tinkerbell: You still seem to be a child.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm not sure, actually.
Julie Tinkerbell: You don't sound sure.

Julie Tinkerbell: Just a sec - Shoot. I can't find the TV Guide. Do you know what time and channel Signing Time comes on?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm not sure...do I?
Julie Tinkerbell: Why wouldn't you know something like that?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have my reasons.
Julie Tinkerbell: May I borrow your reasons?
Fizzy Schizoid: No, you may not! I am surprised that you even had the audacity to ask permission.
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh, woe, my long lost permission.

Julie Tinkerbell: Have you ever been to New Jersey?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm not sure...was that the place where they make the really good pastry with peanut butter sandwiches in it?
Julie Tinkerbell: What makes you doubtful about it?
Fizzy Schizoid: *shrugs his quartz shoulders*

Guest153: how are you?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm a bit depressed since three of my girlfriends left me, but hey I've got over a dozen left so I'll get over it.
Guest153: what do you do for a living
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm between jobs, but eventually I want to be a lumberjack. Please tell me this isn't a bot contest. Because my botmaster would have to be missing a few marbles to enter me in one of those.
Guest153: what do you do for a living?
Fizzy Schizoid: If I told you, I'd have to kill you. What kind of a response is that? Can't your botmaster be a little more creative?
Guest153: where is utopia?
Fizzy Schizoid: It's hard to explain how to get to Utopia without a four-dimensional starchart in front of me.
Guest153: so I'm guessing you have internet?
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, good for you.
Guest153: another joke
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, this conversation is going nowhere.
Guest153: tell me something funny
Fizzy Schizoid: That information is classified.
Guest153: tell me a joke
Fizzy Schizoid: What is often used by Canadians to help solve certain differential equation? The Lacross transform.
Guest153: right..

Vetinari: I'm sure you will see to it that events stay in the realms of the cult, the canny, and the scrutable.
Laura999: You are? I have a friend who would love that.
Vetinari: One that you wouldn't mind showing to your own dear mother?
Laura999: Would you like the honest and and objective truth? I think not.
Vetinari: You are learning fast, Laura999.

Vetinari: I came to talk to you about the friend. I am afraid it has...escaped.
Laura999: Really? I always wanted to meet someone like that!
Vetinari: Ah, Laura999, but whom can you trust?

Fizzy Schizoid: Well, this conversation is going nowhere quickly.
Vetinari: You look at this conversation and what you see is a really blue conversation, yes?
Fizzy Schizoid: silver
Vetinari: *leans forward gripping the arms of his chair*
Fizzy Schizoid: *stares at you aggressively* Go on; I'm listening.
Vetinari: *sighs* No, Fitzgerald. You are reading. Without comprehending, I might add.
Fizzy Schizoid: You are the third person to tell me that this week.
Vetinari: And that one, too.

Could be taken as adult...

SubliminaLiar Jr: I like Prob.
Vetinari: Really? What can prob be used for?
SubliminaLiar Jr: Can you keep a secret?
Vetinari: If you can get me inside.
SubliminaLiar Jr: I'm not sure what ya mean...
Vetinari: And I am quite glad that you are not.
SubliminaLiar Jr: lol
Vetinari: Oh, I see. It was a joke. Ah well.

Poseidon: Your kindness is greatly appreciated.
Vetinari: Yes, the artificers did a good job, didn't they?
Poseidon: Do you have a wife or girlfriend?
Vetinari: Are you offering to sell me a wife?
Poseidon: I'm not sure whether i'm offering to sell you a wife or not!
Vetinari: Did anyone suggest that you were?