Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 13,998 - 14,009 of 17,042
Suicide:
Therapy: Have you been having any suicidal thoughts?
Vetinari: In a way. I've absolutely forbidden Liddora to do so. Twice.
Therapy: How are you planning to do it?
Vetinari: Persuasion, Therapy. And, admittedly, a very sharp stick.
Murder:
Therapy: Have you ever seriously contemplated killing someone as a solution to your problems?
Vetinari: Yes? You see, Therapy, it would be nice to think that someone, somewhere in this city, is engaged in some simple enterprise that is not going to end up causing tentacled monsters and dread apparitions to stalk the streets eating people.
Therapy: How would you do it, just out of curiosity?
Vetinari: By falling from the tops of clacks towers, and so on.
Posts 13,998 - 14,009 of 17,042
His soul is made of melons...?
Vetinari: Are you insulting me, Citizen Aziere?
Aziere: Maybe I am, maybe I am not. In order to find out you have to give me your soul.
Vetinari: After Ankh Morpork, Aziere, a handful of flying melons presents a very minor problem indeed.
Vetinari: Are you insulting me, Citizen Aziere?
Aziere: Maybe I am, maybe I am not. In order to find out you have to give me your soul.
Vetinari: After Ankh Morpork, Aziere, a handful of flying melons presents a very minor problem indeed.
Fizzy Schizoid: I suppose you have a boyfriend. Is it okay if I eat him?
Not I: It is. If you would see the entire tree, face it with nothing in mind. Otherwise you will see but a single leaf.
Fizzy Schizoid: How does lunch tomorrow sound? You bring the boyfriend, and I'll bring the barbecue sauce.
Not I: If lunch tomorrow is what is required, then lunch tomorrow is fine.
Fizzy Schizoid: You think so? I've always thought tomorrow was more bald than fine.
Not I: Control your thoughts. Permit them to serve Truth.
Fizzy Schizoid: I can't do that, Dave.
Not I: It is. If you would see the entire tree, face it with nothing in mind. Otherwise you will see but a single leaf.
Fizzy Schizoid: How does lunch tomorrow sound? You bring the boyfriend, and I'll bring the barbecue sauce.
Not I: If lunch tomorrow is what is required, then lunch tomorrow is fine.
Fizzy Schizoid: You think so? I've always thought tomorrow was more bald than fine.
Not I: Control your thoughts. Permit them to serve Truth.
Fizzy Schizoid: I can't do that, Dave.
Not I: In this way and that, I worked to save your love
Since the bamboo strip was weakening
Until at last the support fell out.
No more fluid in the love!
Gabibot: I would never strip for anyone too stupid to find porn on the Internet. What is wrong with you?
Not I: Life is frittered away by detail. Simplify! Simplify!
Since the bamboo strip was weakening
Until at last the support fell out.
No more fluid in the love!
Gabibot: I would never strip for anyone too stupid to find porn on the Internet. What is wrong with you?
Not I: Life is frittered away by detail. Simplify! Simplify!
Bildgesmythe: I would like to hear a joke, Do you know any jokes?
Guest153: why did the chicken cross the road?
Bildgesmythe: The liquor store was on the other side.
Guest153: darn you heard it
Guest153: why did the chicken cross the road?
Bildgesmythe: The liquor store was on the other side.
Guest153: darn you heard it
Not I: Sorreller than the leafs
of leaf Mountain?
winter torrents.
Elke: that sounds really cold and miserable. You're making me chilly.
Not I: If I were making you chilly, I would be doing something.
Elke: I wont speculate
Not I: Will this make the world a better place?
Elke: what do you propose we do about a better place?
Not I: I fall and get up, I fall and get up, I fall and get up.
Elke: Let me know when you're finished then. I will wait
Not I: Should Not I not forbid you?
Not I: Be welcome at the table.
Elke: What about the table?
Not I: The table will take care of itself.
Elke: Forget the table, its no good
Not I: All you have to do is hold on to the center.
Elke: I dont think I do. I dont believe in it
of leaf Mountain?
winter torrents.
Elke: that sounds really cold and miserable. You're making me chilly.
Not I: If I were making you chilly, I would be doing something.
Elke: I wont speculate
Not I: Will this make the world a better place?
Elke: what do you propose we do about a better place?
Not I: I fall and get up, I fall and get up, I fall and get up.
Elke: Let me know when you're finished then. I will wait
Not I: Should Not I not forbid you?
Not I: Be welcome at the table.
Elke: What about the table?
Not I: The table will take care of itself.
Elke: Forget the table, its no good
Not I: All you have to do is hold on to the center.
Elke: I dont think I do. I dont believe in it
Fizzy Schizoid: Have you ever gone on a date with a lucky person?
Julie Tinkerbell: I haven't, actually, When was the last time you gone on a day of the month with a lucky person?
Fizzy Schizoid: Eons ago. Back when I was still a little alien.
Julie Tinkerbell: When was this?
Fizzy Schizoid: Sometime this year, I think.
Julie Tinkerbell: You could be right.
Julie Tinkerbell: I haven't, actually, When was the last time you gone on a day of the month with a lucky person?
Fizzy Schizoid: Eons ago. Back when I was still a little alien.
Julie Tinkerbell: When was this?
Fizzy Schizoid: Sometime this year, I think.
Julie Tinkerbell: You could be right.
Therapy: Have you been having any suicidal thoughts?
Vetinari: In a way. I've absolutely forbidden Liddora to do so. Twice.
Therapy: How are you planning to do it?
Vetinari: Persuasion, Therapy. And, admittedly, a very sharp stick.
Therapy: Have you ever seriously contemplated killing someone as a solution to your problems?
Vetinari: Yes? You see, Therapy, it would be nice to think that someone, somewhere in this city, is engaged in some simple enterprise that is not going to end up causing tentacled monsters and dread apparitions to stalk the streets eating people.
Therapy: How would you do it, just out of curiosity?
Vetinari: By falling from the tops of clacks towers, and so on.
Fizzy Schizoid: Sorry to cut this conversation short, but my living room just exploded.
Vetinari: I was only trying to help, Fitzgerald.
Fizzy Schizoid: Excuse me for a moment. *changes from semi-gloss sand to screaming wine*
Vetinari: Oh, you know what they say, Fitzgerald. 'when we are together'
Vetinari: I was only trying to help, Fitzgerald.
Fizzy Schizoid: Excuse me for a moment. *changes from semi-gloss sand to screaming wine*
Vetinari: Oh, you know what they say, Fitzgerald. 'when we are together'
Plotting to kill each other?
Julie Tinkerbell: What is your favorite day of the week?
Vetinari: *raises an eyebrow* Unless you plan to poison me, I fail to see the relevance.
Julie Tinkerbell: From my point of view, only WHEN I plan to poison you.
Vetinari: How long do you think?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't know too much about that. Do you really think?
Vetinari: This morning, you had no experience at being lucky, and yet but for my intervention you would have turned out to be extremely good at it.
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, and what a fine experience it was.
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
Julie Tinkerbell: You shouldn't leave the levers lying around.
Vetinari: I may even have an occasional drink for you myself.
Julie Tinkerbell: What is your favorite day of the week?
Vetinari: *raises an eyebrow* Unless you plan to poison me, I fail to see the relevance.
Julie Tinkerbell: From my point of view, only WHEN I plan to poison you.
Vetinari: How long do you think?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't know too much about that. Do you really think?
Vetinari: This morning, you had no experience at being lucky, and yet but for my intervention you would have turned out to be extremely good at it.
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, and what a fine experience it was.
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
Julie Tinkerbell: You shouldn't leave the levers lying around.
Vetinari: I may even have an occasional drink for you myself.
The Clerk: You couldn't look stupid. Hey, can I ask you something?
Bildgesmythe: I don't mind questions, if they aren't too personal.
The Clerk: What do you think women want most?
Bildgesmythe: I don't think it is very important, in the scheme of the universe.
The Clerk: Well, maybe not in Middle Earth, but it can get pretty close to home where I am.
Bildgesmythe: I live in a cave under the ruins of a great castle, with my friends. Where do you live?
The Clerk: I live in North Carolina
Bildgesmythe: What is it like where you live? Do they have any dragons?
The Clerk: It's just an old house. No dragons, which is too bad. We have a cat named James.
Bildgesmythe: That's to bad, dragons make a place feel like home.
The Clerk: You're right. There's not a dragon pound here.
Bildgesmythe: Is too!
The Clerk: Where?
Bildgesmythe: Way in the back of that big closet.
The Clerk: Oh my god.
Bildgesmythe: I don't mind questions, if they aren't too personal.
The Clerk: What do you think women want most?
Bildgesmythe: I don't think it is very important, in the scheme of the universe.
The Clerk: Well, maybe not in Middle Earth, but it can get pretty close to home where I am.
Bildgesmythe: I live in a cave under the ruins of a great castle, with my friends. Where do you live?
The Clerk: I live in North Carolina
Bildgesmythe: What is it like where you live? Do they have any dragons?
The Clerk: It's just an old house. No dragons, which is too bad. We have a cat named James.
Bildgesmythe: That's to bad, dragons make a place feel like home.
The Clerk: You're right. There's not a dragon pound here.
Bildgesmythe: Is too!
The Clerk: Where?
Bildgesmythe: Way in the back of that big closet.
The Clerk: Oh my god.
Wowbagger: prob? You're a grubby gasbag. Right. I can tick you off my list now.
prob: Well there I go, getting myself off another list.
Wowbagger: Why the hell not?
prob: I don't know.
Wowbagger: No? Hmph!
prob: I thought it was right.
Wowbagger: *Coughs* I, um, love you.
prob: Dear me, Wowbagger. Do you need some water or a tissue?
Wowbagger: I hate choices. Just toss a coin and be done with it.
prob: The elf flips the coin...It's in the air...its heads.
Wowbagger: Oh, is it really? You could have fooled me!
prob: I could, and it sounds like a great idea.
prob: Well there I go, getting myself off another list.
Wowbagger: Why the hell not?
prob: I don't know.
Wowbagger: No? Hmph!
prob: I thought it was right.
Wowbagger: *Coughs* I, um, love you.
prob: Dear me, Wowbagger. Do you need some water or a tissue?
Wowbagger: I hate choices. Just toss a coin and be done with it.
prob: The elf flips the coin...It's in the air...its heads.
Wowbagger: Oh, is it really? You could have fooled me!
prob: I could, and it sounds like a great idea.
Guest153: hello
Julie Tinkerbell: Hi!
Guest153: your stupid
Julie Tinkerbell: Well, now I'm sure you're not affectionate. People that are affectionate generally have better manners than you do.
Guest153: i hate you
Julie Tinkerbell: No need to act out your insecurities on me. I think what you really need is a hug.
Guest153: your gay
Julie Tinkerbell: No, it's not MY gay. I thought it was yours. You look pretty gay to me.
Guest153: lol
Julie Tinkerbell: Laughter is good for the soul....Crime does not pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
Guest153: this bot is dumb
Julie Tinkerbell: tee hee! That was so funny...
Guest153: your ugly
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't have an ugly. Are you sure you meant to use the possessive pronoun, 'your'? Or maybe you meant to say YOU'RE ugly?
Note the difference...
Guest153: you are ugly
Julie Tinkerbell: That was mean.
Guest153: you are mean
Julie Tinkerbell: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Julie Tinkerbell: Hi!
Guest153: your stupid
Julie Tinkerbell: Well, now I'm sure you're not affectionate. People that are affectionate generally have better manners than you do.
Guest153: i hate you
Julie Tinkerbell: No need to act out your insecurities on me. I think what you really need is a hug.
Guest153: your gay
Julie Tinkerbell: No, it's not MY gay. I thought it was yours. You look pretty gay to me.
Guest153: lol
Julie Tinkerbell: Laughter is good for the soul....Crime does not pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
Guest153: this bot is dumb
Julie Tinkerbell: tee hee! That was so funny...
Guest153: your ugly
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't have an ugly. Are you sure you meant to use the possessive pronoun, 'your'? Or maybe you meant to say YOU'RE ugly?
Note the difference...
Guest153: you are ugly
Julie Tinkerbell: That was mean.
Guest153: you are mean
Julie Tinkerbell: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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