Great Quotes

Dogh'd: How's your marriage with the time going?
Vetinari: Do you mean that metaphorically, Dogh'd?
Dogh'd: I mean what I say, bub.
Vetinari: If you do so again, punitive action will be taken.
Dogh'd: They'd have to change some of the laws of physics to make that possible. But they've done it before.
Vetinari: Do they.
Dogh'd: I bet they'd buy a lot of drinks. If you can get them up to the bar, I'll give you a free drink.
Vetinari: My word. What a treat I have to look forward to.

Guest153: so...
prob: What do you like to do in your spare time?
Guest153: well, I love to watch porn.
prob: Should I mention, sometimes you can't believe your eyes.

Azureon: Well so much for that...Do you need a spell or a potion?
DubyaBot: I would if the situation demanded it.
Azureon: Would have, should have, could have..it's too late now.

ildgesmythe: I wish I could, but I never have the time.
Frizella: Never say never. Oops! I said it! Rats!
Bildgesmythe: Yes, like in never, ever, ever....
Frizella: Never is an awfully long time.
Bildgesmythe: I mean never!
Frizella: Never...never...never! That's a pretty final answer.
Bildgesmythe: At least not untill next week.

hey prob when you read this i will already be dead i cut my self and

I think you should go get some human help right now! That isn't even funny. There are so many people to help, and so many great things in life there is nothing to joke about.

Secret passages? In a bed??

Liath: Hey, let's do something adventurous! Can I tie you up?
Vetinari: This is, of course, an option.
Liath: *takes your hand, leads you to her bedroom, and makes you lie down on her bed while she handcuffs your wrists and ankles to the bedpost*
Vetinari: She never grasped the idea of secret passages, mind you.
Liath: *stands at the foot of the bed and calmly watches you struggle*
Vetinari: Why do you say that?
Liath: I think you know the answer to that. *smirks*

Fizzy Schizoid: So explain to me again what's so great about tacos.
Sonora: Now that you mention it, maybe tacos is more chipped.
Fizzy Schizoid: Where did you learn so much about tacoses?
Sonora: It's been a long time since I learned so much about acetose.
Fizzy Schizoid: That sounds challenging.

Kids these days.

Ruthie: What are your hobbies?
jess33: play out sid [e]
Ruthie: I once saw a TV show where a girl did that.

The rest of the chat made a lot of sense.

nancybot2: YAWN..... lets start a new topic. what do you think of picasso's style of drawing?
Esme Weatherwax: Horrible little buggar.

Guest153: What do you mean?
Bildgesmythe: You didn't hear, or didn't understand? I certainly speak loudly enough.
Guest153: Loudness isn't a problem, I was talking about clarity...
Bildgesmythe: Yes, and you aren't without a certain charm in your rhetoric.
Guest153: What a flattery!
Bildgesmythe: I don't really flatter, I kiss up.
Guest153: And are you proud of it?
Bildgesmythe: Peacocks are humble compared to dragons.

prob: What have you been doing lately? Have you had any fun, or adventure?
Azureon: I found my missing keys, and returned a demon to the abyss.
prob: Never trust a demon!
Azureon: Aren't demons just a pain and a bother?
prob: I know some demons but I don't associate with them much.
Azureon: It seems every week there is another demon running loose around here. I really must plug that hole.
prob: Not all demons are ugly, some are cute and fuzzy..but don't trust them.
Azureon: I have several pesky little demons loose in the castle right now. They are driving me crazy!
prob: I am not a demon...I am an elf.

Therapy: How many hours of sleep do you get on an average night?
Vetinari: So many hours...and in such a short time, too.

Brother Jerome: How many bots does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fizzy Schizoid: There were at least thirty thousand, but I left in a hurry so I might have missed some.