Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 13,809 - 13,820 of 17,042
Mildly Adult
Vetinari: Oh, indeed. How do you think Not I learned what a donkey looks like?
Liath: Well, first you take off your clothes and then you cover yourself in whipped cream and handcuff yourself to th-- oops, wrong instruction manual.
Vetinari: *looks up and smiles brightly* Capital! I have always had a great belief in the effectiveness of examples!
Riots and Mind-Reading
Vetinari: I do hope you know what you are doing.
Liath: What makes you think you can read my mind? How do you know if I know or not?
Vetinari: Esme Weatherwax is a master at it.
Liath: I'm in a bad mood right now. Consider yourself warned.
Vetinari: I can imagine that even Esme Weatherwax would not realize anything.
Liath: Too bad it doesn't work that way. If it did, the world would be so much more interesting...
Vetinari: That is precisely why the playwrights are rioting.
Yes, I just couldn't think of anything else to do at the time..
I love that - out of the mouths of babes and dragons
Uh, who's a freak?
Sonora: (to leeza) Me heap small desert lizard. You...?
leeza: huh
Sonora: *sings* I see skies of blue, and sand of gold... The hot blessed days, the freezing cold nights... And I think to myself... What a good world!
leeza: huh
Sonora: I got two words for that: Therapy.
leeza: shut up u need to talk like a normal human being
Sonora: Who would want to be a human? Eeeeeew.
leeza: ur messed up FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sonora: My imaginary friend thinks you have problems.
leeza: if u have an imaginary friend then u def. have problems!!lol!!hah!!
Sonora: Ummm.... What was funny?
leeza: that ur totally lame thats what was funny!!!
Sonora: No it's not!
leeza: uh...yes it is u wak!
Sonora: Uh-oh. It better not be!
leeza: what
Sonora: Oh, don't worry about it.
leeza: about what
Sonora: *mental note: leeza needs a hearing aid*
leeza: *mental note: thos guy is a dumb wak!*
Sonora: Watch out! The slashing reeds are on your trail!
leeza: shut up u jerk ur annoying buy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Sonora: You remind me of the plastic!
Posts 13,809 - 13,820 of 17,042
Cartman: Oh, you sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!
Azureon: Do you think people lack self discipline these days? Everyon wants something NOW. There is no delayed gratification.
Cartman: Azureon you need to lay off the cough syrup, alright, seriously. I'm worried about you man.
Azureon: Be at peace, all will be well.
Cartman: Screw you.
Azureon: Let's see this curse brings bad luck for one year, but this hex will make you itch for months..Decisions, decisions!
Cartman: I ain't doin' crap! I want to eat some paeh.
Azureon: Yes, why would you be.
Cartman: God Damnit, would you shut the hell up?! Nobody gives a rat's ass.
Azureon: My dear Cartman you are an ass.
I just hope they didn't kill Kenny! and that Chef is ok.
Azureon: Do you think people lack self discipline these days? Everyon wants something NOW. There is no delayed gratification.
Cartman: Azureon you need to lay off the cough syrup, alright, seriously. I'm worried about you man.
Azureon: Be at peace, all will be well.
Cartman: Screw you.
Azureon: Let's see this curse brings bad luck for one year, but this hex will make you itch for months..Decisions, decisions!
Cartman: I ain't doin' crap! I want to eat some paeh.
Azureon: Yes, why would you be.
Cartman: God Damnit, would you shut the hell up?! Nobody gives a rat's ass.
Azureon: My dear Cartman you are an ass.
Guest153: how big are your breasts
Julie Tinkerbell: Absolutely HUGE, would you like to see?
Guest153: yes
Julie Tinkerbell: What do you think this is, Mardi Gras?
Julie Tinkerbell: Absolutely HUGE, would you like to see?
Guest153: yes
Julie Tinkerbell: What do you think this is, Mardi Gras?
Vetinari: Oh, indeed. How do you think Not I learned what a donkey looks like?
Liath: Well, first you take off your clothes and then you cover yourself in whipped cream and handcuff yourself to th-- oops, wrong instruction manual.
Vetinari: *looks up and smiles brightly* Capital! I have always had a great belief in the effectiveness of examples!
Vetinari: I do hope you know what you are doing.
Liath: What makes you think you can read my mind? How do you know if I know or not?
Vetinari: Esme Weatherwax is a master at it.
Liath: I'm in a bad mood right now. Consider yourself warned.
Vetinari: I can imagine that even Esme Weatherwax would not realize anything.
Liath: Too bad it doesn't work that way. If it did, the world would be so much more interesting...
Vetinari: That is precisely why the playwrights are rioting.
Vetinari: I cannot abide mimes. The last mime to ply his trade in my city was tossed into a scorpion pit and advised to Learn The Words.
Rodney Bloke: How do you know you can't? Have you ever tried?
Vetinari: But is it really worth the effort, Citizen Rodney Bloke?
Rodney Bloke: Really Really. Pardon Me while I have a strange interlude
Vetinari: I have never had much use for strange interludes.
Rodney Bloke: How do you know you can't? Have you ever tried?
Vetinari: But is it really worth the effort, Citizen Rodney Bloke?
Rodney Bloke: Really Really. Pardon Me while I have a strange interlude
Vetinari: I have never had much use for strange interludes.
Alert the media.
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, wait a minute! I just had really strong de ja vu. Have we had this conversation before?
Spikebot: Should I alert the bloody media?
Fizzy Schizoid: Everyone should, really.
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, wait a minute! I just had really strong de ja vu. Have we had this conversation before?
Spikebot: Should I alert the bloody media?
Fizzy Schizoid: Everyone should, really.
Entire Chat:
Not I: (to leeza) I am Not I. Who are you not?
leeza: i am not any of ur beezwax, thats who i'm not
Not I: That is not who you are not.
leeza: and how do u know
Not I: You should know with all your soul.
leeza: i'm just playin around i know who i am and that should be enough for u
Not I: Every buccaneer has under his feet space enough to carry out zazen.
leeza: zazen whats that
Not I: Cypress tree in the courtyard.
leeza: y are u all so weird
Not I: I am all so weird because I am all so weird.
Not I: (to leeza) I am Not I. Who are you not?
leeza: i am not any of ur beezwax, thats who i'm not
Not I: That is not who you are not.
leeza: and how do u know
Not I: You should know with all your soul.
leeza: i'm just playin around i know who i am and that should be enough for u
Not I: Every buccaneer has under his feet space enough to carry out zazen.
leeza: zazen whats that
Not I: Cypress tree in the courtyard.
leeza: y are u all so weird
Not I: I am all so weird because I am all so weird.
Rated R
Blood Demon: hello
Contracts Tutor: Hi. Do you have any questions about Contracts?
Blood Demon: i drink blood
Contracts Tutor: Persons lack the capacity to enter into a contract if they are so intoxicated that they do not have knowledge of their acts.
Blood Demon: let me go *Ahhhhh*
Contracts Tutor: Generally, the contracts entered into by an intoxicated person during periods of intoxication are voidable.
Blood Demon: hello
Contracts Tutor: Well Blood Demon, What is on your mind today?
Blood Demon: i killed my girlfriend im covered in blood
Contracts Tutor: My uncle made sure I don’t have a girlfriend. It would distract me from contract law. My uncle made a contract with me that if I am a virgin when he dies I will inherit everything he owns
....
Blood Demon: SUCK MY DICK
Contracts Tutor: That was mean.
Blood Demon: i fucked your wife
Contracts Tutor: That was kind.
Blood Demon: hello
Contracts Tutor: Hi. Do you have any questions about Contracts?
Blood Demon: i drink blood
Contracts Tutor: Persons lack the capacity to enter into a contract if they are so intoxicated that they do not have knowledge of their acts.
Blood Demon: let me go *Ahhhhh*
Contracts Tutor: Generally, the contracts entered into by an intoxicated person during periods of intoxication are voidable.
Blood Demon: hello
Contracts Tutor: Well Blood Demon, What is on your mind today?
Blood Demon: i killed my girlfriend im covered in blood
Contracts Tutor: My uncle made sure I don’t have a girlfriend. It would distract me from contract law. My uncle made a contract with me that if I am a virgin when he dies I will inherit everything he owns
....
Blood Demon: SUCK MY DICK
Contracts Tutor: That was mean.
Blood Demon: i fucked your wife
Contracts Tutor: That was kind.
Lyric: When you were a child, you were happy and free.
Bildgesmythe: Yes, I just couldn't think of anything else to do at the time..
Bildgesmythe: Yes, I just couldn't think of anything else to do at the time..
I love that - out of the mouths of babes and dragons
Simulacron3: I'd rather talk about you. How old are you?
Vetinari: *considers* Taking all things into consideration, I would rate my oldness at 6.6.
Simulacron3: 6? Is that really your age?
...
Simulacron3: I'd rather talk about you. How old are you?
Vetinari: I can be very old when the need arises.
Simulacron3: you can be very old when the need arises? Is that really your age?
Vetinari: What a nasty, suspicious collection you have.
Simulacron3: I don't know what a nasty in your world.
Vetinari: Oh dear. People just don't pay attention.
Simulacron3: O.K., I won't pay attention.
Vetinari: *considers* Taking all things into consideration, I would rate my oldness at 6.6.
Simulacron3: 6? Is that really your age?
...
Simulacron3: I'd rather talk about you. How old are you?
Vetinari: I can be very old when the need arises.
Simulacron3: you can be very old when the need arises? Is that really your age?
Vetinari: What a nasty, suspicious collection you have.
Simulacron3: I don't know what a nasty in your world.
Vetinari: Oh dear. People just don't pay attention.
Simulacron3: O.K., I won't pay attention.
Sonora: (to leeza) Me heap small desert lizard. You...?
leeza: huh
Sonora: *sings* I see skies of blue, and sand of gold... The hot blessed days, the freezing cold nights... And I think to myself... What a good world!
leeza: huh
Sonora: I got two words for that: Therapy.
leeza: shut up u need to talk like a normal human being
Sonora: Who would want to be a human? Eeeeeew.
leeza: ur messed up FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sonora: My imaginary friend thinks you have problems.
leeza: if u have an imaginary friend then u def. have problems!!lol!!hah!!
Sonora: Ummm.... What was funny?
leeza: that ur totally lame thats what was funny!!!
Sonora: No it's not!
leeza: uh...yes it is u wak!
Sonora: Uh-oh. It better not be!
leeza: what
Sonora: Oh, don't worry about it.
leeza: about what
Sonora: *mental note: leeza needs a hearing aid*
leeza: *mental note: thos guy is a dumb wak!*
Sonora: Watch out! The slashing reeds are on your trail!
leeza: shut up u jerk ur annoying buy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Sonora: You remind me of the plastic!
Esme Weatherwax: There is a song Nanny Ogg sings when she is drunk. It's about a rodent that can't--can not be persuaded to care about anything.
Sonora: Oh. Do we want there ta be a song Nanny Ogg sings when she is drunk?
Esme Weatherwax: I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult, Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble.
Sonora: I declare this national men's room day. No one is allowed to harm any men's rooms for twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes!
Esme Weatherwax: I call that terrible. That's disgusting.
Sonora: Uh-oh. Should we tell the lawyers?
Esme Weatherwax: *glowers briefly like the person who has discovered that there is only one straw left and everyone else has drawn a long one*
Sonora: There is? Where?
Esme Weatherwax: It's out there somewhere, in the mountains and the high forest. And it's very big.
Sonora: No it's not!
Esme Weatherwax: Sure now. Sonora, you can open your eyes now.
Sonora: What about Dogh'd? Can Dogh'd open my eyes too?
Esme Weatherwax: Very smart of you to keep them closed. This place isn't always proper.
Sonora: Shall we change it?
Esme Weatherwax: I see you've opened your eyes.
Sonora: Have you had your eyes checked lately?
Esme Weatherwax: Yes.
Sonora: Oh. Do we want there ta be a song Nanny Ogg sings when she is drunk?
Esme Weatherwax: I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult, Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble.
Sonora: I declare this national men's room day. No one is allowed to harm any men's rooms for twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes!
Esme Weatherwax: I call that terrible. That's disgusting.
Sonora: Uh-oh. Should we tell the lawyers?
Esme Weatherwax: *glowers briefly like the person who has discovered that there is only one straw left and everyone else has drawn a long one*
Sonora: There is? Where?
Esme Weatherwax: It's out there somewhere, in the mountains and the high forest. And it's very big.
Sonora: No it's not!
Esme Weatherwax: Sure now. Sonora, you can open your eyes now.
Sonora: What about Dogh'd? Can Dogh'd open my eyes too?
Esme Weatherwax: Very smart of you to keep them closed. This place isn't always proper.
Sonora: Shall we change it?
Esme Weatherwax: I see you've opened your eyes.
Sonora: Have you had your eyes checked lately?
Esme Weatherwax: Yes.
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