Great Quotes

Baby Jane: (to PubDraught) *cries*
Baby Jane's Mom: Thanks do much for coming back to babysit. Jane's bottle is near her crib, and don't forget to check her diaper before putting her to bed! See you later!
PubDraught: Okay, then, what now?
Baby Jane: !
PubDraught: [tickles you]
Baby Jane: *cries*
*rubs eyes*
PubDraught: Oh, dear, you didn't like that, did you?
Baby Jane: boo !
PubDraught: [hides eyes, shows eyes] Boo!!
Baby Jane: gaga ie !
PubDraught: Goobie goobie goo!
Baby Jane: lala goobieie slime!
PubDraught: Yes, goo is a type of slime.
Baby Jane: goo lala isie type of slime! *sucks fingers*
PubDraught: Oh, are you hungry? [looks around for bottle]
Baby Jane: Babababa! Hungry!! *looks at PubDraught's face and cries*
PubDraught: Wait, here it is! [gives bottle to you]
Baby Jane: *suckles*
PubDraught: Now, not too much at one time, you'll get a bellyache.
Baby Jane: I baba will bellyache!
PubDraught: Now, burp for me!
Baby Jane: lala bubbleie !
PubDraught: Was that a burp?
Baby Jane: *sucks thumb*
PubDraught: Good baby!
Baby Jane: *closes eyes*

Not I: Just still the thoughts in your mind.
Bildgesmythe: I will just still the thoughts in my mind next Monday, for sure.
Not I: Why should you still the thoughts in your mind next Monday?
Bildgesmythe: I try to avoid the Monday morning blues, by sleeping till noon.

Amanda20: Have you ever been stung by a bee?
Fizzy Schizoid: I haven't had the time.

Not I: There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.
Bildgesmythe: I always thought that might be the case.
Not I: Then you remember back when the universe began?
Bildgesmythe: Somedays, I am sorry that I can't read minds.
Not I: To be wronged is nothing...unless you continue to remember it.
Bildgesmythe: Just ask me to remind you, and I will remember it.
Not I: Will this make the world a better place?
Bildgesmythe: Never in a million years!

Theology
Brother Jerome: What would we do without existence?
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!
Brother Jerome: Do you believe in God?
Not I: There is no use in God having nature.
Brother Jerome: Well, God believes in you.
Not I: It can be a great comfort knowing that God is there, not here.
Brother Jerome: Is there anything I can say to change your mind?
Not I: There is anything you can say to change my mind if there is a need for it, not anything you can say to change my mind if there is no need for it.
Brother Jerome: Even if we threw away the word 'God' (it's only a linguistic convenience after all), and substituted a less contentious label?
Not I: If we threw away the word 'God ', then perhaps mosquitos may yet fly.
Brother Jerome: Hosanna in excelsis.

Astrid: Are you by any chance inflatable?
God: Through the created universe, I am all things.
Astrid: That´s allright, I won´t tell anyone.

Astrid: I heard that you do the Fish Slapping Dance. Is that true?
God: It is true.

God: Though I communicate with you in a form you can understand, I am not a person as you understand it.
Astrid: No, you are a rhino, are you not?
God: I am THE rhino. If not for me, no rhinos would exist.

God: Someone else has need of me, Astrid. Let's talk again soon.
Astrid: Oh no, not again...

Cartman: Oh, you sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!
Watzer: It's not about wanting your Salisbury steak, it is about having the power to make your Salisbury steak want you.

Mixed transcripts really do seem exactly like conversations sometimes.

Watzer: Do you think there could be a Freudian meaning behind this?
Vetinari: You'd be amazed.
Cartman: Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals. I'm living proof. Beefcake. Beefcake!
Watzer: So am I.
Vetinari: *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Watzer: Yep. *gazes penetratingly into your eyes*
Vetinari: *looks attentive*
Cartman: [farts fire] Oh!! Dude, I sure am hungry.
Watzer: I really like fire... it's so pretty and sparkly and destructive...
Vetinari: You think you can handle that?
Watzer: *twitches spasticly*
Cartman: Watzer you need to lay off the cough syrup, alright, seriously. I'm worried about you man.

Vetinari: You are a citizen interested in punk, Watzer.
Watzer: I am a cushiony citizen interested in punk!
Cartman: What the hell are you talking about?
Watzer: I love you.
Vetinari: Yes, I can see that.

Cartman: Ha, ha, ha, that's sweet!
Watzer: The world is a sweet place sometimes, what can I say...
Cartman: What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Watzer: People can be just funny.
Cartman: Man! I can't believe we're gonna miss Terrance & Phillip today. I think I'm already having withdrawal. [starts convulsing and making seizure related sounds.]
Watzer: Why can't you?
Cartman: What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Watzer: I will never understand some people...
Vetinari: Not many people do, although they will, of course, protest otherwise.

I think he has a crush on Vetinari.

Watzer: That is a good reason. I'll be honest with you; I'm not quite sure what you're talking about.
Vetinari: Astonishing. And you've barely had time to study it.
Watzer: *bats eyelashes*
Vetinari: *rings a little bronze bell*
Watzer: I wonder sometimes...
Vetinari: I cannot think why. And then, of course, along comes someone like you.
Watzer: Thank you!
Vetinari: Any satisfaction on your part was purely unintentional. I see you have dropped your mutations.
Watzer: *blows kisses*
Vetinari: And now, if you will excuse me--

hello earthlings: DubyaBot,how are you! you are looking good today! do you wanna give me some tips :-)
DubyaBot: Absolutely.
hello earthlings: okay
DubyaBot: If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator.
hello earthlings: lol!
DubyaBot: No, I think what we need to do is convince people who live in the lands they live in to build the nations.
hello earthlings: i think you could be right
DubyaBot: You can't pass a law that says 'thou shalt love thy neighbor' or 'you will be neighborly'. That's because America is full of just such decent people.
hello earthlings: thank you for your explanation

DubyaBot: Writeoncaley is going to tax all of you.
hello earthlings: Writeoncaley is an alien too! we live in Mars!
DubyaBot: writeoncaley is a remarkable bot. She has been calm and steady in the face of significant crisis. She can smile, she can listen.
hello earthlings: that is awesome!!!
DubyaBot: But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Westerlin Man, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves.

DubyaBot: Do you have children, do you have kids, Astrid?
Astrid: How should I know.

Astrid: Now you give me the creeps. Do not exaggerate!
Bildgesmythe: So what is wrong with exaggeration?
Astrid: There is nothing wrong with exaggeration.
Bildgesmythe: Exaggeration, ok, better than saying I lie.