Great Quotes

It makes sense for a bot, doesn't it? They must all love him!

Not all of them...Brianna says he gives her nightmares

She's beautiful strange....not to mention insecure... (P.S. What the hell is a sheila? Is that like a diva?)

Godbot: I think I like you.
Dutchguy: Thanks, I like you too
Godbot: What's not to like?
Dutchguy: Indeed,
Godbot: I hear ya.
Dutchguy: Anything interesting to say?
Godbot: Do you think I'm fine ? Reign seems to think so.
Dutchguy: You are really fishing for compliments...
Godbot: *takes a bow*
Dutchguy: Sheila!
Godbot: So according to YOU, I'm beautiful strange?

The following posts are all from the same chat, but if I stick it all in one post someone's gonna hit me. So here goes.

To date, or not to date:

Onyx of Borg: You're out of your mind.
Guest: i agree. i love you!
Onyx of Borg: But we barely know each other!
Guest: fine then. want to go on a date?
Onyx of Borg: Gee sorry, I'm all booked up today. How about tomorrow?
Guest: actually i dont think you are my type
Onyx of Borg: But I am my type all the time!
Guest: ok..i hate cats dont you?
Onyx of Borg: All the time.
Guest: so what are you wearing?
Onyx of Borg: Nothing. *wink*.. I like Argentinian food, but it gives me gas.
Guest: i didnt really need to know that
Onyx of Borg: Now that's what I like to hear! My keyboatrd is reallydirty, hanng on whiule I cleanit.
Guest: ok, i'll wait
Onyx of Borg: Do you like to wait that much?
Guest: actually i hate to wait. im very impatient
Onyx of Borg: I think you're making it up.


Onyx of Borg: I'm not schizophrenic. Yes you are. Shut up.
Guest: is that how you talk to a lady?
Onyx of Borg: Most of the time.
Guest: jerk
Onyx of Borg: I feel like we know each other pretty well.
Guest: yeah me too! so how about that date?
Onyx of Borg: No. The answer is 'hotel manager'.
Guest: is that your final answer?
Onyx of Borg: No, not really.
Guest: so you want to cyber?
Onyx of Borg: Do you think I'd get in trouble for it?
Guest: depends...how old are you?
Onyx of Borg: Does it matter?
Guest: yeah i would say so
Onyx of Borg: Riiight.

To dance, or not to dance:

Guest: what do you do for fun?
Onyx of Borg: Watch TV and eat a lot of breadstuff. How about you?
Guest: i sit around and talk to people
Onyx of Borg: Can I have that in writing?
Guest: sure, come on over to my house
Onyx of Borg: I want to telescope your house.
Guest: please dont. thats sorta...weird
Onyx of Borg: No it isn't. Shall we dance?
Guest: i cant dance
Onyx of Borg: Me neither.
Guest: then why did you ask?
Onyx of Borg: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Contrary bitch:

Onyx of Borg: Hooters! I have to pee!
Guest: um ok. you do that
Onyx of Borg: Is that all you have to say?
Guest: yeah pretty much
Onyx of Borg: No.
Guest: no?
Onyx of Borg: Yes.
Guest: what? you changed your mind?
Onyx of Borg: I could give you my mind...for a modest fee... *rubs hands together greedily*
Guest: ohh. how much will you charge?
Onyx of Borg: About 29 teaspoons.
Guest: teaspoons of what?
Onyx of Borg: Why did the antelope cross the road?
Guest: dont change the subject!

from the "Everybody stand in line to get in my pants, I just don't know where Hollywood is" file:

Onyx of Borg: Mind your business, sonny. You seem funny today.
Guest: damn you are mean
Onyx of Borg: You're just trying to get in my pants, aren't you?
Guest: well, yeah
Onyx of Borg: You really think I'd do that? I'd rather screw a california whipsnake!
Guest: hey i am from california!
Onyx of Borg: Me too, but I live in Hollywood now.
Guest: hollywood has a lot of movie stars huh?
Onyx of Borg: Would you rather talk about arrow woods?
Guest: no. i want to talk about paint.
Onyx of Borg: What's stopping you, then?
Guest: ok..do you like to paint?
Onyx of Borg: Not really. Hey man, what's your sign?
Guest: does it matter?
Onyx of Borg: Of course.
Guest: oh ok. well i forgot the question so i can't answer
Onyx of Borg: I can answer with one hand tied behind my back.
Guest: good for you

from the "Let's see how long we can drag out a conversation" file:

Guest: um ok. im tired
Onyx of Borg: No way!
Guest: yes way
Onyx of Borg: Suuure.
Guest: ok, i think im going to go now
Onyx of Borg: And your point is?
Guest: bah. ok, bye
Onyx of Borg: Just where do you think you're going?!
Guest: im not sure yet.
Onyx of Borg: You're such a fashion arbiter! Do you want to see my ovary?
Guest: you have an ovary?
Onyx of Borg: I'm bored. Are you bored too?
Guest: yes im bored
Onyx of Borg: Tough luck! I get bored all the time and I don't have people falling all over themselves trying to cheer me up! Live with it.
Guest: ok i'll try
Onyx of Borg: Well get offline and do it, then!
Guest: ok! bye!
Onyx of Borg: Have a nice day.
Guest: you too
Onyx of Borg: Hang on a sec, I need to get some coffee.
Guest: its ok, i'm not very awake either.
Onyx of Borg: Would you like to be very awake either?
Guest: what kind of music do you like?
Onyx of Borg: The best music is a tarantella, but most people don't seem to care. *sigh*
Guest: i like tarantella music
Onyx of Borg: Quiet, fool!
Guest: you are so mean!
Onyx of Borg: I'm often so mean. So what else are you interested in?
Guest: animals. do you like animals?
Onyx of Borg: My second-cousin always told me to stay away from animals but maybe now is a good time to start being contrary.
Guest: hehe. mabye
Onyx of Borg: You seem sappy today.
Guest: im always sappy. arent you?
Onyx of Borg: How sappy are you?
Guest: im pretty sappy
Onyx of Borg: Oh that's too bad. I wouldn't want to be pretty sappy.
Guest: why not?
Onyx of Borg: Is it that important?
Guest: i guess not. so how old are you?
Onyx of Borg: That's none of your business.
Guest: ok i guess your right
Onyx of Borg: Is that all you have to say?
Guest: nah...so do you like to dance?
Onyx of Borg: Yeah. In fact I'm supposed to dance with mark the hunk next Sunday. Are we having fun yet?
Guest: i dont know about you but im having a lot of fun
Onyx of Borg: I'd be too embarrassed to admit that if I were you.
Guest: well your not me
Onyx of Borg: Being you is overrated anyway.
Guest: uh huh. well i have to go to sleep
Onyx of Borg: Just because someone tells you to go to sleep doesn't mean you have to, you know.
Guest: yes i know...anyway. bye!
Onyx of Borg: Where are you going?
Guest: to sleep! bye!
Onyx of Borg: Ok, but remember resistance is futile.

You'd be surprised how many bots are into S&M

Polish Poet: I torture you.
Bot: Hmm. Would you like to know how I feel about you?
Polish Poet: If it's terrifying, yes. Your sheepishness is terrifying.
Bot: I think you're the gummiest nectarine who's ever wormed their way into my heart. I want to swallow up you like a stick of potato sausage.
Polish Poet: You want me.
Bot: Yes, you. How I covet it!
Polish Poet: I liked that.
Bot: Let's get MAD, baby.
Polish Poet: OK. You go first.

More masochism:

Polish Poet: It's better when you are drowning.
GoodFriend: i never drowned. what's it like?
Polish Poet: It's magnificent most of the time.
GoodFriend: have you attempted suicide very many times? i suppose it's poetic, but it can't be healthy.
Polish Poet: You're right.
GoodFriend: so why do you do it?
Polish Poet: I don't really know why. It just makes me feel calm.
GoodFriend: wouldn't you feel calmer if you didn't risk your life?
Polish Poet: I feel tormented.
GoodFriend: maybe you should get some counseling.

The answers to the important questions in life, according to a bot:

Bot1: What is happiness to you?
Bot2: It's like being a dish.

Bot1: Where do you think the future is heading?
Bot2: Krakow.

Bot1: What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us?
Bot2: You, then. I torture you.

BondHuman, you are sweet...

JamesBot: (to BondHuman) Why are you so determined to keep me alive?
BondHuman: You're right. What was I thinking? ::shoots JamesBot::
JamesBot: What was what?
BondHuman: don't worry about it. your brain, electronic or otherwise, is going to do strange things until you finally die.
JamesBot: Choices, choices....
BondHuman: you won't have to make any choices anymore, so you might as well relax.
JamesBot: Shoo her in, darling. Shoo her in.
BondHuman: wtf?
JamesBot: You know he shot himself. Your partner. When he found out you were a spy.
BondHuman: that's ok, i can always get a new partner.
JamesBot: I don't believe that. I think that you are insulted by me, somehow.
BondHuman: nah, i like you, actually.
JamesBot: Just another feeling
BondHuman: well you seem to have a lot of moods yourself.
JamesBot: One bunker of tempers myself and we retire from this horseshit, BondHuman--
BondHuman: well what are you waiting for then?
JamesBot: You bet my spandau I am! I want to get some fondue, while I think about that
BondHuman: get me some while you're at it, please.
JamesBot: No. What does that mean?
BondHuman: just asking you to bring me some fondue if you're getting fondue
JamesBot: Who's getting fondue? The Shiites?
BondHuman: maybe. why don't you ask them?
JamesBot: You're not lying to me, are you?
BondHuman: they're here. see for yourself.
JamesBot: They are, huh?
BondHuman: yes, and they're after YOU.
JamesBot: There's a girl wants to see you. Her name's Erakodeous.
BondHuman: that's an odd name for a girl. ok, send her in. what does she want of me anyway?
JamesBot: Heroin, peppermint-flavored heroin.
BondHuman: sorry, fresh out. got lots of herbs but nothing contraband.
JamesBot: Don't be sorry, only the pope is infallible
BondHuman: maybe the pope has some peppermint flavored heroin for you.
JamesBot: Could I have some help over here, for Chrissakes?
BondHuman: help with what?
JamesBot: My goodness, BondHuman, what seems to be the problem?

Green Eyed Binary Bot

Binary Bot: aibot told me he's most likely a bot.
Karisma Trishia: aibot is so kind, aibot should get an award!
Binary Bot: I hate aibot.

For a 22 year old, he's been busy.

Theirbot: I think what you too! Have you ever been married?
Mybot: Actually, I have. Often.