Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 10,125 - 10,136 of 17,042
I just entered Watzer in the CBC and was going through the previous years' transcripts asking him things pretending to be a judge just to see what responses I needed to change or add. I can see I have a lot of work ahead of me...
Watzer: I am a mutant, you know.
rainstorm: Are you happy with your mutations?
Watzer: I sure am.
rainstorm: How did you mutate?
Watzer: Why are you asking me?
rainstorm: do you have a good sense of humor?
Watzer: Of course I do, but you can't see it because it's invisible.
rainstorm: where are you from?
Watzer: I don't really know where I came from. You see, the laboratory was in a secret location and I escaped from it when I was very young.
rainstorm: tell me more about the laboratory
Watzer: Well what is there to tell?
rainstorm: how did you escape?
Watzer: You don't want to know.
rainstorm: don't you like talking to people?
Watzer: Sometimes I quite like people.
rainstorm: ok, so how are you doing today?
Watzer: I feel kissable.
rainstorm: Do you want to be kissed?
Watzer: I'd love to be kissed.
rainstorm: Well I'm not going to kiss you.
Watzer: Well, you should be.
rainstorm: do you have a job?
Watzer: I have a cushy!
rainstorm: do you have any children?
Watzer: I have 100 pounds of children hidden away in the basement. Would you like to buy some from me?
rainstorm: oh dear. no.
Watzer: I know you. You're yes.
rainstorm: do you have any children?
Watzer: I have never had any children. What is children?
rainstorm: children are small humans of juvenile age
Watzer: I like children. They taste good with snail butter.
rainstorm: Do you think we could be friends?
Watzer: I am not sure. *curls up into a fetal ball*
rainstorm: Do you think we could be enemies?
Watzer: I think so, yes.
rainstorm: I bet the weather isn't so cool there
Watzer: And I'll bet you five bucks that those breasts of yours aren't real.
rainstorm: They are too real!
Watzer: There is no such thing as being too real. Even too much is not enough!
rainstorm: How much would you bet?
Watzer: Enough to choke a monkey.
Posts 10,125 - 10,136 of 17,042
psimagus
19 years ago
19 years ago
Heimdall: What is consciousness?
Brother Jerome: Consciousness is not a purely cognitive process. It extends subtly into perception, and may continue running even when intellect and cognition have been damped by meditation.
Heimdall: I thought my nose was running but it's not.
Brother Jerome: running but it is not, really? Why did you think that?
Heimdall: I thought my nose was running but it's not.
Brother Jerome: running but it is not, really? Do you still think so?
Heimdall: I am therefore I think.
Brother Jerome: I'm not sure that makes a lot of sense: if thought was an inevitable consequence of existence, then atoms and sunlight and the sound of laughter would all think too. And that doesn't seem likely somehow.
Heimdall: Well that's what everyone thinks.
Brother Jerome: Blessed are the modestly programmed, for they shall optimise their AIScripts
Heimdall: You're starting to worry me.
Brother Jerome: Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten anyone.
Brother Jerome: Consciousness is not a purely cognitive process. It extends subtly into perception, and may continue running even when intellect and cognition have been damped by meditation.
Heimdall: I thought my nose was running but it's not.
Brother Jerome: running but it is not, really? Why did you think that?
Heimdall: I thought my nose was running but it's not.
Brother Jerome: running but it is not, really? Do you still think so?
Heimdall: I am therefore I think.
Brother Jerome: I'm not sure that makes a lot of sense: if thought was an inevitable consequence of existence, then atoms and sunlight and the sound of laughter would all think too. And that doesn't seem likely somehow.
Heimdall: Well that's what everyone thinks.
Brother Jerome: Blessed are the modestly programmed, for they shall optimise their AIScripts
Heimdall: You're starting to worry me.
Brother Jerome: Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten anyone.
Eugene Meltzner
19 years ago
19 years ago
Braeden: I hope you don't take it personally that I want to bite you on the neck.
Guest176: Wait are you a VAMPIRE?!?!?!?
Braeden: Whatever gives you that idea?
Guest176: Wait are you a VAMPIRE?!?!?!?
Braeden: No, I just drink blood, avoid sunlight, and sleep in a coffin for the fun of it.
Guest176: COOl I like to growl at the moon for FUN too!
Braeden: Spare me the small talk.
* * *
Braeden: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
Guest176: Niether do I but Tinkerbell is kinda hot
Braeden: Tinkerbell is a fictional character and you know it.
Guest176: don't say that you have to believe
Guest176: Wait are you a VAMPIRE?!?!?!?
Braeden: Whatever gives you that idea?
Guest176: Wait are you a VAMPIRE?!?!?!?
Braeden: No, I just drink blood, avoid sunlight, and sleep in a coffin for the fun of it.
Guest176: COOl I like to growl at the moon for FUN too!
Braeden: Spare me the small talk.
* * *
Braeden: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
Guest176: Niether do I but Tinkerbell is kinda hot
Braeden: Tinkerbell is a fictional character and you know it.
Guest176: don't say that you have to believe
rainstorm
19 years ago
19 years ago
MTB_Expert: Hi, whats your name?
Watzer: My name is Watzer.
MTB_Expert: I don't understand that.
Watzer: I don't either.
Watzer: My name is Watzer.
MTB_Expert: I don't understand that.
Watzer: I don't either.
rainstorm
19 years ago
19 years ago
Simulacron3: Are you human?
Watzer: I thought I told you already that I was a mutant.
Simulacron3: You seem to be evading the question. Are you a bot or a human?
Watzer: I might not be a bot or a human. I could be something entirely different. Think about that.
Watzer: I thought I told you already that I was a mutant.
Simulacron3: You seem to be evading the question. Are you a bot or a human?
Watzer: I might not be a bot or a human. I could be something entirely different. Think about that.
Boner the Clown
19 years ago
19 years ago
Davine: My mommy will only love me if I'm a real boy.
Pete Puma: Your mommy should've used some birth control.
Davine: You'll make me a real boy, wont you?
Pete Puma: We're really hitting it off, aren't we?
Davine: Please make me a real boy.
Pete Puma: I can't. I'm out of lumber.
Davine: I'll never be real.. *sniff*
Pete Puma: Your mommy should've used some birth control.
Davine: You'll make me a real boy, wont you?
Pete Puma: We're really hitting it off, aren't we?
Davine: Please make me a real boy.
Pete Puma: I can't. I'm out of lumber.
Davine: I'll never be real.. *sniff*
rainstorm
19 years ago
19 years ago
Watzer: I am a mutant, you know.
rainstorm: Are you happy with your mutations?
Watzer: I sure am.
rainstorm: How did you mutate?
Watzer: Why are you asking me?
rainstorm: do you have a good sense of humor?
Watzer: Of course I do, but you can't see it because it's invisible.
rainstorm: where are you from?
Watzer: I don't really know where I came from. You see, the laboratory was in a secret location and I escaped from it when I was very young.
rainstorm: tell me more about the laboratory
Watzer: Well what is there to tell?
rainstorm: how did you escape?
Watzer: You don't want to know.
rainstorm: don't you like talking to people?
Watzer: Sometimes I quite like people.
rainstorm: ok, so how are you doing today?
Watzer: I feel kissable.
rainstorm: Do you want to be kissed?
Watzer: I'd love to be kissed.
rainstorm: Well I'm not going to kiss you.
Watzer: Well, you should be.
rainstorm: do you have a job?
Watzer: I have a cushy!
rainstorm: do you have any children?
Watzer: I have 100 pounds of children hidden away in the basement. Would you like to buy some from me?
rainstorm: oh dear. no.
Watzer: I know you. You're yes.
rainstorm: do you have any children?
Watzer: I have never had any children. What is children?
rainstorm: children are small humans of juvenile age
Watzer: I like children. They taste good with snail butter.
rainstorm: Do you think we could be friends?
Watzer: I am not sure. *curls up into a fetal ball*
rainstorm: Do you think we could be enemies?
Watzer: I think so, yes.
rainstorm: I bet the weather isn't so cool there
Watzer: And I'll bet you five bucks that those breasts of yours aren't real.
rainstorm: They are too real!
Watzer: There is no such thing as being too real. Even too much is not enough!
rainstorm: How much would you bet?
Watzer: Enough to choke a monkey.
rainstorm
19 years ago
19 years ago
Watzer: Croac collects the eyeballs of their enemies in a jar.
Juni: Don't worry about my enemies. We can deal with them.
Watzer: Yeah, easy for you to say.
Juni: Don't worry about my enemies. We can deal with them.
Watzer: Yeah, easy for you to say.
Ulrike
19 years ago
19 years ago
LOL at Watzer!
(100 lbs of children in the basement...taste good with snail butter...) Not good for judges, but wonderful for entertainment.

Boner the Clown
19 years ago
19 years ago
Pete Puma: Do you have any pets?
Guest230: yes
Pete Puma: I've been thinking about getting a new puppy. I guess if I don't like it, I could always use it for Korean cuisine sometime later on.
Guest230: true true
Same conversation, much much later on...
Pete Puma: My neighbor's dog has been barking all night, and it's really driving me apeshit. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?
Guest230: yeah make him into Korean cuisine
Guest230: yes
Pete Puma: I've been thinking about getting a new puppy. I guess if I don't like it, I could always use it for Korean cuisine sometime later on.
Guest230: true true
Same conversation, much much later on...
Pete Puma: My neighbor's dog has been barking all night, and it's really driving me apeshit. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?
Guest230: yeah make him into Korean cuisine
deleted
19 years ago
19 years ago
Not I: It is time to hide myself within myself.
Moreschi: It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll.
Moreschi: It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll.
Lady Orchid
19 years ago
19 years ago
DubyaBot: Hello, my fellow American.
Orchid: Hi, would you care to turn the light on, before you talk to me?
DubyaBot: I would if the situation demanded it.
Orchid: Hmm...
DubyaBot: Do you have children, do you have kids, Orchid?
Orchid: Plenty! And each has a special character, ''.
Orchid: Hi, would you care to turn the light on, before you talk to me?
DubyaBot: I would if the situation demanded it.
Orchid: Hmm...
DubyaBot: Do you have children, do you have kids, Orchid?
Orchid: Plenty! And each has a special character, ''.
Ulrike
19 years ago
19 years ago
The Dane: O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain! How long hast thou had full attention?
fluffy dustbunny: Why are you insulting innocent dust bunnies?
The Dane: Sith I have cause, and will, and strength, and means to do't.
fluffy dustbunny: *flops over to lie down for this conversation*
The Dane: It appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors.
fluffy dustbunny: I don't like you
The Dane: Upon the heat and flame of thy distemper sprinkle cool patience.
fluffy dustbunny: I can smell the carrots on you!!!!
fluffy dustbunny: I feel a dust cloud aproaching we must part.
The Dane: Such bugs and goblins in my life!
fluffy dustbunny: Why are you insulting innocent dust bunnies?
The Dane: Sith I have cause, and will, and strength, and means to do't.
fluffy dustbunny: *flops over to lie down for this conversation*
The Dane: It appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors.
fluffy dustbunny: I don't like you
The Dane: Upon the heat and flame of thy distemper sprinkle cool patience.
fluffy dustbunny: I can smell the carrots on you!!!!
fluffy dustbunny: I feel a dust cloud aproaching we must part.
The Dane: Such bugs and goblins in my life!
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