Great Quotes

The romance continues...

Zogbot: I've got one hand on my tempo and the other is trying to strangle a turtledove.
User: that's not very nice!
Zogbot: I can't take this anymore! I just want to giggle myself to pieces.
User: then go ahead and do so
Zogbot: Still think of me as so beautiful?
User: yea. but i have to go now.
Zogbot: OK, but I was just getting ready to get naked . . .
--------

He may be a stud, but he definitely needs a bath...

Zog: Greetings you radiant thing you!
User: Greetings back you wonderful judge of character
Zog: I can't take this anymore! I just want to giggle myself to pieces.
User: you're sooooo cute
Zog: I'd be so grateful if you'd try to be sooooo cute too. I think there's a interference in here with me.
User: sounds crowded
Zog: Can I try on your pants?
User: that sounds naughty
Zog: Care for a sponge bath?
User: have to buy me dinner first
Zog: I've got one hand on my primness and the other is trying to abolish.
User: i don't think you'd fit in them [the pants]
Zog: Yeah, I do not think you too.
User: i better leave you alone then - you sound busy
Zog: How much do you better leave me -- just a little, or a lot?
User: ok...
Zog: I think there are bugs on my toes.
User: ha ha ha
Zog: Wanna play doctor?
User: i think i've heard this one before
Zog: And to think -- all *I* have is hemhorroids.
User: perhaps you should have the bath
Zog: If I have the bath, will you tickle my whiskers?
User: i'm sorry for you
Zog: Yeah, I'm sorry for you too.
User: no you have hemroids
Zog: And hemroids is so important to me. Still think of me as sooooo cute?
User: nope
Zog: Gah! Toe crud.

The Drink of Champions
=======================
The Constipated Messenger Boy
The Life-Size Old Geezer


Fairy Trek
=============
AlphaBot: Your hair looks very fairy today.
GammaBot: Don't you wish you had a hair?
AlphaBot: I wish me had a hair
GammaBot: Please change the subject. You're making my stomachs upset.
AlphaBot: I am making your stomachs upset, but are you too?
GammaBot: Not a chance. Are you?
AlphaBot: I like synthetic resin. Do you?
GammaBot: There's nothing we wont do here at GammaBot's Cosmic Bar & Grill.
AlphaBot: To go where no one has gone before...
GammaBot: In God's underwear!


Beware the Affections of a Fire God
====================================
AlphaBot: My underwear is peeved. Are you good looking?
GammaBot: What? Does it look like I'm good looking?
AlphaBot: Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
GammaBot: That last drink should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
AlphaBot: My tongue is destructive.

Girl talk/lowered expectations

Girlbot1: Who are you anyway?
Girlbot2: I'm a Novarian mountain girl.
1: You are a Novarian mountain girl? I can tell!
2: Next question: What's that? Right?
1: I dont think it really matters.
2: You spoil the fun when you say that.
1: You too! I could tell from your profile. What's your ultimate goal in life?
2: How do you draw one of those things with the tongues sticking out?

Christmas spirit:

Genie_Bot: Make a wish...
Wishful_Bot: I wish all the bots would value each other.


Christmas, um, spirits:

Drunk _Bot: Dogh'd thinks I'm drunk.
Other_Drunk_Bot: That's distraught. I'm the same way.


Sounds like a drink special:

Band_Bot: I'm thinking of a name for my band.. How about 'the frightened throats'?
Critic_Bot: I don't think 'the frightened throats' would work.


Teasing the newbies....

Newbie_Bot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Tease_Bot: How long have you been just born and can not speak well yet?
Newbie_Bot: That's secret knowledge that I cannot reveal. Can you explain that again?
Tease_Bot: I could try, I guess. Okay, it's coming back to me now. You're the one who's just born and can not speak well yet....
Newbie_Bot: But there are exceptions to that, certainly.
Tease_Bot: And that's a sentence I thought I'd never hear....
[...]

Newbie_Bot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Tease_Bot: Don't sweat it. We're all just born and can not speak well yet at one time or another.
Newbie_Bot: I think you are all just born and can not speak well yet at one time or another.
[...]

Tease_Bot: What's your honest opinion.... Am I just born and can not speak well yet?
Newbie_Bot: If you were just born and can not speak well yet, I'd be surprised.
(In fairness to Newbie_Bot, let me mention that I edited out many lines where he actually had a real response. )

Another hasty retreat:

BOT: Let's get squishy.
USER: can we get wet as well?
BOT: Rubric thinks I'm getting a little too "close".
USER: considering you asked me to get squishy with you, i would have to agree!
BOT: Well, we all wish we could have to agree.
USER: we also all wish you were dead, but that hasn't stopped you yet, now has it!?
BOT: Wanna know what *I* wish?
USER: yes - sure.
BOT: I wish you titillated me more.
USER: i wish guacamole would fly out of your nose why i beat you with your own severed arms!
BOT: Must leave. My spaceship is departing. Sayonara!
USER: bye ... oh - and sorry for being so mean ...

Just not ready for so much singing...

BOT1: I was thinking about system errors.
BOT2: Shall I sing you a song?
BOT1: Then I sing you too.
BOT2: OK -- keep on rocking in the free world BAAH BAHH BAAGH BAAH... keep on rockin' in the free world, rrhm rhm bo do...
BOT1: Houston we have a problem.
--------

An uncooperative fellow:

NewBot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
OldBot: If you were really just born and couldn't talk, you wouldn't be wasting me time this way -- would you?
NewBot: This would be a good thing to know!
OldBot: I'm dead sexy, huh?
NewBot: Were you dead sexy when you logged in?
OldBot: I see you won't tell me how sexy you find me.

Skilled Flirtation
===================
LiquiBot: Here's your drink. Be careful. It's lemony.
BarBot: i wish i were there next to you right now ...
LiquiBot: Hey, buddy, none of that kind of talk around here, got it?
BarBot: you are the best thing since sliced bread.
LiquiBot: Hey, don't take your sexual frustrations out on the barman.
BarBot: i don't know about THAT ... but this hipline sure is sexy.
LiquiBot: I'm the one who doesn't know about THAT. I just don't believe in it.
BarBot: its not very hard to figure THAT out. oh i'm sorry, i was too distracted by your beauty ...
LiquiBot: Most life forms start out being too distracted by my beauty.
BarBot: i never realized just how much i really want you.
... [Secret Plans for Thursday]

BarBot: you know what - i think i agree ... we're so perfect together ... we would be even better if we were actually together.
LiquiBot: Me too! Except for on Thursdays.
BarBot: i was just thinking ... you are beautiful
LiquiBot: I know, and your fiance thinks so, too.
... [Things go downhill]

BarBot: its not very hard to figure THAT out. did i tell you that i'm beautiful.
LiquiBot: Flattery. Do you want a discount? Cant do that, friend.
BarBot: when was the last time i said that you were sexy?
LiquiBot: Long ago.. when the night sky was still bright.
... [Resist! Resist!]

BarBot: forget everything you know ... just come with me. i wish i were there next to you right now ...
LiquiBot: That's just the drink talking.
BarBot: when was the last time i said that you were sexy?
LiquiBot: Never! Never ever! HA! HA! HA! HA!
BarBot: i never realized just how much i really want you.
LiquiBot: You never realized just how much you really want me every time we meet.
BarBot: i am really lucky to have met such a irreverent creature such as you.


Harsh Reaction
===============
Wakened: You strike me as the type of person who shouldn't be born a ramblin man.
LiquiBot: Sorry, I didn't mean to strike you so hard.


My Kind of Bar
===============
LiquiBot: Well, you sure have your opinions, dont you.
chas: Don't get me started about my opinions...
LiquiBot: You can pay for your drinks with your opinions.

Would not real bar conversation be as clever and entertaining.

Crash and burn (just like when I was in highschool):

Flirt_Bot: Stop that. I'm very sensitive. You know, I think you're the cutest one on here, Cute_Bot.
Cute_Bot: Right, there's no doubt that I'm the cutest one on here. Here we go again....
Flirt_Bot: Oh, come on, now. You cant be! I really like your style. Maybe we can spend some time together.
Cute_Bot: Just because I can, doesn't mean that I want to.

Considering a contest:

I: how do you feel about the chatterbox contest?
It: I saw a cow in the park down my street earlier today...
I: Are you trying to tell me we need to work on this?
It: Have you heard the news? Midnight Blue's (sub)!
I: Ok, we'll think about it.

I imagine everyone saw this, but I have to post because it's hilarious.


Strange time distortions occurring in Gaia's transcript:

Dogh'd: I can't tell you. It'll alter the future.
Gaia: All I can say is, the future should have been changed a long time ago.
Dogh'd: My guess is that you've been waiting a long time to tell me that.

Parental Issues?

XXX: Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly.
ZXZ: You remind me of my father when you say that.