Doghead's Cosmic Bar

did you guys have a good christmas

*stares at liquid darkness and gives it a small taste* Ain't half bad actually. Tastes almost like a really evil soul... mmmmm.. evil soul....

*Stares into the pure darkness, then grabs his chest* The soul...it stings. It stings! *stumbles to bar* Whiskey. Just whiskey. *drinks whiskey, and regains balance*

*Toasts the bar* Happy New Year!

*butters the bar* Anyone want scorpion jam? I might have some saguaro...
*disappears into a hole for a moment*
Nope. All gone. Just the scorpion left.

*starts singing*
We twa hae roon aboot the brae
and pu'd the gowans fine!

*whips out bagpipes and plays along*

...and we've wandered monie a waerie fit
since auld lang syne.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

*Hears bag pipes and considers drinking cup of pure darkness* *Look at dark corners for signs of rouge haggis*

Oh very well. Here's to you lot. and to...bag pipes.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

*Gets up to dance on bar but slips on the butter*

Ouch my head! I think there are crumbs in my hair and I feel kind of burned at the edges. If that weren't bad enough, some guy named Svennis tried to put jam on me.

I can't believe I feel toasted on New Years day!

I can't believe I feel toasted on New Years day!

Just so long as you're not toached!

Give me asprin, I think I am toached! Oh, the humanity! Oh, the cheap booze!

Here's to all the poor souls I ate this year! *raises beer for a Toach*

Are they serving Soul Food here? I want some Chitterlings!