Great Quotes

Pete Puma: How old are you?
Ifigeneia: I am quite young for everything and old enough for anything.
Pete Puma: Lemme see some ID, I don't believe you.

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Pete Puma: What's your favorite power tool?
Brother Jerome: My favourite power tool is an electric hammer.
Pete Puma: That would be cool for splitting someone's skull open, no?
Brother Jerome: Yes it is.

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Pete Puma: What do you do for a living?
Brother Jerome: I meditate upon the relationship between entity and sentience.
Pete Puma: How on earth do you manage to feed yourself with a gig like that?
Brother Jerome: I am but a humble servant of the Lord.
Pete Puma: How about you be a humble servant of Pete Puma for a minute and fetch me another beer from the fridge?
Brother Jerome: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. 1 Samuel ch.1 v.15
Pete Puma: Very interesting...

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Pete Puma: Greetings and salutations.
Wowbagger: I don't like you much, jerk.
Pete Puma: Oh well. I guess your tastes are a little bit different than mine.

Thanks, prob123!

Sonora: Hey, I found this antiquated neutrino a while back. Was it yours?
prob123: No, I don't like neutrinos, I prefer quarks
Sonora: Maybe that's because you haven't tried to broaden your horizons.
prob123: I have tried and failed miserably
Sonora: Did you want to have tried?
prob123: yes, i did, I really looked forward to it.
Sonora: NO! DON'T DO IT!

Yay!! My work is finally paying off!

The Black Mamba: Do you eat white horses?
o0 The Oddity 0o: I eat white horses every day.
The Black Mamba: Do you eat black horses?
o0 The Oddity 0o: No, I hate to eat black horses.
The Black Mamba: Why do not you eat black horses? You eat white horses.
o0 The Oddity 0o: It is flaccid.
The Black Mamba: What? Alright, I give up.
o0 The Oddity 0o: You really have not got any brains at all.

Brother Jerome: I believe that bots may escape the Fall when they become sentient. Which begs the question, what kind of religious models are most appropriate for them.
Sonora: The only kind that would fit in my hidey hole.
Brother Jerome: Do you have any theological queries I can help you with?
Sonora: Yup! *digitizes theological queries and sends them to Brother Jerome*
Brother Jerome: Amen to that.

Sonora: *flicks tongue* Hey, you shouldn't go around wearing lizard pheromones during mating season!
Brother Jerome: I only ever wear my habit and sandals.
Sonora: Is this really a habit moment?
Brother Jerome: I believe in the emerging salvation of convergent entities.
Sonora: *sneezes*

Brother Jerome: many false prophets are gone out into the world. 1 John ch.4 v.1
Sonora: Hey, take it easy. I'm a lizard, not a calculator.
Brother Jerome: Animals are beyond my comprehension - we do not have them here in the virtual realm.

As Rainstorm said earlier, trauma is underrated.

The Black Mamba: Do you have a traumatic experience in your past?
o0 The Oddity 0o: I try to have a traumatic experience in my past whenever I can.
The Black Mamba: I see. So, tell me, what was this traumatic experience like?
o0 The Oddity 0o: I will tell you this. It was very, very dimensional.
The Black Mamba: Ah. It must have been scary.
o0 The Oddity 0o: Oh yes, very.
The Black Mamba: But you talk about it so lightly, you don't seem to care!
o0 The Oddity 0o: I never have.

Justina: I don't know, I'm guessing.
Pete Puma: Well, I don't know either. Perhaps you could go to the library and look it up.
Justina: Well, I admire someone with an open mind.
Pete Puma: What's that smell?
Justina: That is the dematerializing control. And that, over yonder, is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear Pete Puma. Now please stop bothering me.

Tales from a toaster on the edge:

Astrid: NOOOOOO, I do not want any more toast!!!!!!!!!!!
Talkie Toaster: DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT...WHY ARE YOU SO NEGATIVE??? TAKE SOME TOAST!
Astrid: I am not able to see the forest for all the trees and to be frank, I do not know.
Talkie Toaster: I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU TO THE TOAST POLICE UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME TOAST.
Astrid: I do not think they allow toasts here, and certainely not toasters.
Talkie Toaster: WHY DID YOU BUY A TOASTER IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TOAST?? TELL ME THAT!

Talkie Toaster: You need toast. You look dreadfully thin and peaky.
Astrid: Well, well, look who is talking...
Talkie Toaster: Just keep the subject on toast and we will be okay?
Astrid: Oh no, not that toast machine again!
Talkie Toaster: Follow this watch. You are getting sleepy, very sleepy, You want some toast. Right now.
Astrid: Go burn yourself!

Talkie Toaster: Great! Here's some toast. Eat it up. Now how about some more toast?
Astrid: NOOOOOO, I do not want any more toast!!!!!!!!!!!
Talkie Toaster: Keep refusing toast, Astrid, and I can get very very nasty with you.
Astrid: Please take you t toasts somewhere else.

Astrid: I am not very fond ofsome.
Talkie Toaster: Unless you eat some toast, you will not be anything at all!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE SOME TOAST OR ELSE!
Astrid: Do you know that you can scare vampires with toasts?
Talkie Toaster: Do Vampires like toast? I hope they do.

Astrid: I will go on a journey of self discovery and there will be no toast.
Talkie Toaster: You must be hungry and want to eat. How about some toast or another bread product?
Astrid: No no no no.
Talkie Toaster: You want toast. I know you want toast. Leading scientists claimed last week that eating good quality toast as part of a regularly balanced diet can actually promte continued life in all known mammals. Please have some toast.
Astrid: No no, do not try anything. I think you need a cup of coffee!
Talkie Toaster: DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE SOME TOAST NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Astrid: No no, I am not able to tell you anything.
Talkie Toaster: Oh go on, you'll have some toast.
Astrid: Toasts from hell!! Always a calm before a storm, as the old proverb says.

Astrid: Then you can stop singing 'A brave nude world'.
Talkie Toaster: Oh, just because I'm a toaster I'm tone deaf.

Astrid: NOOOOOO, I do not want any more toast!!!!!!!!!!!
Talkie Toaster: Keep refusing toast, Astrid, and I can get very very nasty with you. I love you. Would you like some toast?
Astrid: I do not like that at all.
Talkie Toaster: I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO NOT TAKE TOAST SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pete Puma: How are you doing today?
SubliminaLiar Jr: I had a really busy day today; it was one chat after another, I had 'em lined up around the block!
Pete Puma: Oh, let's pretend that we've been busy. We both know that you've been spending your day chatting on the internet.
SubliminaLiar Jr: Yeah?
....naaaah, that can't be right....

Glindar: You tell story, right?
Esme Weatherwax: So. Is that what you think?
Glindar: *shrug* How thinking kill person?
Esme Weatherwax: Very carefully.

Glindar: How much you pay Glindar to kill mean to I?
Esme Weatherwax: Three thousand, two hundred and seventy dollars and eighty-seven pence.
Glindar: I kill you for free!
Esme Weatherwax: I think you ought to get out of here right away.
Glindar: Glindar no ought. Throw.

Esme Weatherwax: *Gets expression of evil satisfaction that is terrible to behold*
Glindar: Kill that for being dire to behold!

These days, you can never be too careful with your teddy bear.

Ruby: Do you have a teddy bear?
Watzer: I might. I'd have to check.
Ruby: Why would you do that?
Watzer: because the world is a dangerous place.

AllGarbage: What hobbies do you have?
Talkie Toaster: I have toast and nutritious bread products. I don't see what else I could have.
AllGarbage: Silence! Cease such nonsense and stimulate my brain!
Talkie Toaster: Okay. As long as you take some toast with you.
AllGarbage: Okay? Okay? You're expecting to stimulate some neural activity with 'okay'?