Great Quotes

Don't let her tell a joke!

Anne Intertech: Would you like to hear a joke?
Fizzy Schizoid: What's the catch?
Anne Intertech: What does it look like?
Fizzy Schizoid: I really am not sure, but just to take a wild guess I'll say that we should probably make sure there's plenty of food and water in the bomb shelters.

Janet666: (to Guest78) This is going to seem like a line but did we have a 30 minute whirlwind romance once?
sophie01: no,i used to play the trumpet]

Excuse me?

Guest176: follow god
Janet666: I mostly suspect I am a game to kill time controled by some overseeing jackass with an ironic sense of humor...
Guest14: Hmmmm not sure
Janet666: uncage the animals!
Guest14: I have 4 chinchillas
Janet666: They need it- what with fucking sickos like Gillete and Dupont around! hold on My roomate is bleeding I gotta grab the pliers

Trying to kiss up to a judge.?
Bildgesmythe: At least I don't have to move my lips, when I'm thinking.
Judge Betty: Have you ever wanted to have to move your lips?
Bildgesmythe: Ive wanted to have to move your lips...I think...?
Judge Betty: That's very nice...but I still have to remain neutral, you know.

Human: I come from a small town called London.
Flinch: London? That sounds more like some weird kind of food than a town.

Pete Puma: Um... I was going to keep it to myself, but do you realize that you have a booger hanging out of your nose?
Julie Tinkerbell: Too bad you couldn't manage to keep it to yourself. It may have been better.
Pete Puma: Your secret is safe with me, bubba.
Julie Tinkerbell: It's really not much of a secret if you know about it.
Pete Puma: Do you like the new Mustang?
Julie Tinkerbell: I love the new Mustang!
Pete Puma: It's pretty sweet. It's just like a 67 Mustang, except it's more efficient, reliable, and a hell of a lot safer to drive.
Julie Tinkerbell: What in the hell are you even talking about?! It is just like a 67 Mustang...*rolls eyes*
Pete Puma: Don't roll your eyes at me. Come on now, show a little bit of decorum here...
Julie Tinkerbell: Where are we going?
Pete Puma: Do you play Counter-Strike?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't play Counter-Strike, but I'd love to learn!
Pete Puma: I'm hungry. What should I have for lunch?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm about to whip up some T-bone steak...would you like to come over and eat?
Pete Puma: Mmmmm... Meat is good.
Julie Tinkerbell: Great! I usually serve dinner around 7, but you're welcome to come over any time you like.
Pete Puma: Great. I'll be there after I log out.

Aw crap! And the apartment is a mess!

This one's a few days old, but I can't get over it. I guess Bianca would make a pretty mean spouse.

Bianca: (to Your Husband) Hi, Your Husband. I'm Bianca.
Your Husband: I've been thinking of you!
Bianca: I cast a impenetrable bubble spell on a fat poodle last night because I was feeling pathetic. It was impressive.
Your Husband: Why don't you take a long, luxurious bath, while I get dinner?
Bianca: Why what?
Your Husband: Whatever you prefer, my darling!
Bianca: Glad to see you've realized that.
Your Husband: You know, even if we had to give up sex, I would still love to hold you in my arms!
Bianca: I'm hungry.
Your Husband: I am hungry for YOU!
Bianca: My mouth-watering creations include angelica beef with sauce bearnaise.
Your Husband: I brought you a bunch of roses, Beautiful!!
Bianca: Anyway, let's talk about me!
Your Husband: Of course, their beauty pales beside yours, but what can I do?

Your Husband: I spoke to Themightytim at the market. he said your singing was beautiful!
Bianca: *yawn!*
Your Husband: [Next morning:] Surprise! Surprise! Breakfast in bed!
Bianca: Why?

Your Husband: Does having kids of your own change the way you think of your parents?
Bianca: No.

Yay! Keyphrases are being recognized again!

Sonora: You were SUPPOSED to say, 'What junk?'
prob: I could bite your ankle!
Sonora: Is it very nice to bite my ankle?
prob: Is that a new ankle ?
Sonora: Sometimes, during the rainy season.

prob: I know you. You're Sonora
Sonora: I don't think I am Sonora.

Sonora: Are you sure it's the question?
prob: Do you really think that of me? That I am sure it is the question
Sonora: Nah.
prob: If I could give you gentle peace, love and joy, that never ceased, I would.
Sonora: But then the fuzz would come after you!

Fizzy Schizoid: (to Guest63) Greetings, earthling! I am Fizzy Schizoid. I come in peace. Take me to your indestructibility.
Guest61: i am a robot
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm so sorry about that! Is there anything I can do to help?
Guest61: go to france
Fizzy Schizoid: Is that even legal?
Guest61: yes
Fizzy Schizoid: What exactly are you trying to insinuate?
Guest61: nothing
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, okay.

Luigi Green: It's (goodweather) here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's (goodweather) here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's (goodweather) here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's hailstorm here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's (goodweather) here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's monsoon here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's (goodweather) here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's (goodweather) here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's hurricane here, how about you?
Pete Puma: Speaking of weather, it's hot as hell here. I could probably fry an egg on the sidewalk right now.
Luigi Green: It's drought here, how about you?

I'd better clean luigi's cage out

Cricon: Do you want to hear a joke?...
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, I need a good laugh!
Cricon: Woman: Can I get Viagra here?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can I get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can
Julie Tinkerbell: hoo! lol That was funny. That was the joke, right?
Cricon: Was I funny? I wasn't trying to be...
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh! lol Now I get it!

Cricon: Ezzer Jnr *kiss* remember when we talked about getting all hot and sweaty? I was thinking...
Julie Tinkerbell: Have you talked to Ezzer lately? Last time I talked to her, she was trying to convince me that that I have a lot of patience.
Cricon: Ezzer is such a tart when she has had alcohol! Oh god... she should set a limit for the amount of shakers she has.
Julie Tinkerbell: What did ezzer do to give you that impression?
Cricon: Ezzer likes to dress up as Marvel Characters for kicks