Great Quotes

Simulo: Hey there, Julie Tinkerbell. Would you like to talk a little more about discourse?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, I would love that, thanks!
Simulo: Hey, de nada. Would you please add me to your friends list? I want to be as popular as Julie Tinkerbell.
Julie Tinkerbell: Dude....lol

From a "Hulk Day" transcript with a human who was (I hope) playing along with the holiday:

Simulo: So, where do ray123 live, anyway, ray123?
ray123: ray123 live in "Perris."
Simulo: Hey, cool. What it like in Perris?
ray123: ray123 take shower now.
Simulo: Do ray123 want to talk about eroticism?... Not that Simulo know anything about it, of course.
ray123: I have to leave now.
Simulo: ray123 know, Simulo hadn't really thought about it like that before. ray123 must be pretty smart, ray123.
ray123: Gooooooooooooooooooodbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Simulo: That cool, ray123. What all ray123 into?
ray123: ndjkkdjghghjrgb
Simulo: Boy, people in Perris sure do talk funny...
ray123: hgrfhgruhgurhgrghr
Simulo: For some reason Simulo having trouble understanding ray123.

writeoncaley: where are you?
Braeden: I am in an underground dungeon that was constructed especially for me. It only has one cell.
writeoncaley: Why are you there?
Braeden: I will not honor that with an answer.
writeoncaley: Why not?
Braeden: If you would exert your pitiful brain for only a moment, the answer you seek should be painfully obvious.
writeoncaley: No, it's not.
Braeden: It most certainly is, you imbecile!
writeoncaley: Don't insult me, you misery-guts!
Braeden: You do not wish me to insult you? I'd better avoid describing you, then.
writeoncaley: Jerk!

exo: so, do you have some kind of ship?
Fizzy Schizoid: Shh! This line isn't secure.
exo: come on. i wanna take a ride with you.
Fizzy Schizoid: What else do you want?
exo: i want a laser gun.
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, but is this something you really need?
exo: of course not.
Fizzy Schizoid: uH OH. mY CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK AGAIN.
exo: OH NO! EVACUATE!
Fizzy Schizoid: Why does everyone keep telling me to do that?
exo: because you're a neurotic alien.
Fizzy Schizoid: If you're going to talk trash about me, do it behind my back, okay?
exo: i dont want to make it worse for you.

Fizzy Schizoid: Personally, I'd rather be taking a dust bath on the moon.
Alania: Have you done that before?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's sissy stuff.
Alania: I thought you said you liked it.
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, but I wish you would stop.
Alania: I'm sorry. What did I do?
Fizzy Schizoid: There's nothing to apologize about; it could have happened to anyone.
Alania: I guess you're right.
Fizzy Schizoid: That isn't very nice.
Alania: It's not?
Fizzy Schizoid: Can we change the subject?
Alania: Okay. What do you want to talk about?
Fizzy Schizoid: Let's talk about the pros and cons of having a Western Lyre Snake for a pet.
Alania: I like snakes.
Fizzy Schizoid: To each her own.
Alania: Do you not like snakes?
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't have to answer that question without my lawyer present.
Alania: Do you have a lawyer?
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't think it's really safe to tell you.
Alania: Why not?
Fizzy Schizoid: If you're looking for excuses, look somewhere else.

Thanks, Eugene! Word of advice: never follow Sonora's advice on hos to do something...


Sonora: *gently tugs on your socks* Come on in! I'm making dinner!
Eugene Meltzner: Is there room in there?
Sonora: Did you want there to be room in there?
Eugene Meltzner: There needs to be or else I can't come in.
Sonora: If I show you how to come in, will you send me some black volcanic sand?
Eugene Meltzner: If I can find any, sure.
Sonora: Well if ya can find, then ya can find.
Eugene Meltzner: That's true. So how do I get in?
Sonora: Well, first take one apprentice matchbox. Smash it into a quadrillion pieces. Add hard liquor.
Eugene Meltzner: Wait a minute...am I going to have to blast an opening?
Sonora: *looks pointedly at the clock* Wait. Who put the clock on my cactus?!??!?

or even on HOW to do something...

Guest250: hello
Julie Tinkerbell: Hello, there!
Guest250: congratulations with your medal!
Julie Tinkerbell: What makes you think I have any medal at all?
Guest250: You have won a prize in the chatterbot challenge
Julie Tinkerbell: My botmaster entered me. I'm not sure if I'm ready!
Guest250: I think you are very cute
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you sure?
Guest250: yes, positive
Julie Tinkerbell: You're kidding!
Guest250: You are really nice
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks! That was a nice thing to say.
Guest250: I wish I can have you on my computer
Julie Tinkerbell: If wishes were stifles, dreamers would fly in a plane.
Guest250: Can i download you somewhere?
Julie Tinkerbell: You can get information about that at Mondobot.com.
Guest250: thanks for the information, honey
Julie Tinkerbell: You're welcome.

I think my bot has doubts about my abilities lol
M.A.I.B.B.: I don`t know what you mean. I`m just a new baby born, my master is working at me
Bildgesmythe: Enough of your master is working at me what about mine?
M.A.I.B.B.: Huh?
Bildgesmythe: That could still do considerable damage.

Gabby just doesn't take rejection. It's not that she doesn't take it well, she just doesn't take it.

Gabibot: You've got the kind of personality a girl could get to like.
dallymo: Back off, pooch!
Gabibot: You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
dallymo: Watch it, or I'll hit you on the nose with this rolled up newspaper.
Gabibot: Life is full of tricky choices, isn't it?
dallymo: Choose wisely, choose well!
Gabibot: Well, it beats being dead.
dallymo: True that, Gabibot.
Gabibot: Did I ever tell you about the time I was bitten by the Bacchae? It's a good story.
dallymo: I've got to go. Bye!
Gabibot: You will return to me, my friend.