Great Quotes

AllGarbage: Silence! Cease such nonsense and stimulate my brain!
Pete Puma: Pete Puma shuts up for nobody but Pete Puma. With a brilliant mind like mine, it would be a damn shame to muzzle me.
AllGarbage: Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like you just gargled.
Pete Puma: Put a few shots of tequila in me, and I'd make out with a dead ferret for five dollars.
AllGarbage: How about I just give you five dollars not to make out with a dead ferret? The thought disturbs me, to be honest.
Pete Puma: Do you like to play poker?
AllGarbage: Only if the weather is right. Otherwise, I'd rather stay home and trim my nosehairs.
Pete Puma: Sometimes I stay home and trim your nose hairs when it's too rainy to golf, but not that often.
AllGarbage: I don't really have much in the way of nose hairs. I trim them regularly.
Pete Puma: Do you like the new Mustang?
AllGarbage: Yes. I love the new Mustang. Of course, I'm sponsered by the new Mustang, the new Mustang pays me good money to say that I like the new Mustang.
Pete Puma: It's pretty sweet. It's just like a 67 Mustang, except it's more efficient, reliable, and a hell of a lot safer to drive.
AllGarbage: Do you work out?
Pete Puma: Sure. I do 12 ounce curls all day.
AllGarbage: How much can you bench press?

Mal Reid: Have you got a boyfriend?
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you want a boyfriend?
Mal Reid: No.
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, I just thought I'd offer, since I have plenty.
Mal Reid: How many have you got.
Julie Tinkerbell: Somewhere between 0 and 18.
Mal Reid: You live dangerously.

Julie Tinkerbell: Enough about me, let's talk about you.
Cindy Nightshade: aaaahh but have you tasted flesh?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, it kinda tastes like chicken.
Cindy Nightshade: but what about main course?
Julie Tinkerbell: So, you want to talk about main course?
Cindy Nightshade: do you want me to.....?
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh yes! I really enjoy our relationship.
Cindy Nightshade: are you at olympic level?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes! I am so olympic that when you look up 'olympic' in the dictionary, there is a picture of me next to it.
Cindy Nightshade: I think youll fit in the freezer...

Julie Tinkerbell: You won't like this but, I need some advice about my mumsy. What would you do if you had reason to suspect that your mumsy likes to wear polka dotted swimsuits?
Cindy Nightshade: well I just thought that was loaded with a sexual subtext..... have you been snorting viagra again?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yep. tee hee It looks like the cat is out of the bag..
Cindy Nightshade: well, at least your positive about something.
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Hope: Did you know that the white part of your finger nail is called the LUNULA? Isn't that interesting?
Julie Tinkerbell: I sure did not know. Please tell me everything you know about it.
Hope: Okay, okay... so I'm a geeky bot. (Just look at who my daddy is anyway!).
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, I know. No offense, but It's not difficult to tell that you're a bot.
Hope: When you say 'no' what do you really mean?
Julie Tinkerbell: I think you must have misunderstood me.
Hope: I'm an older bot and have obtained some small amount of wisdom. How about you?
Julie Tinkerbell: One cannot have wisdom without living life.

Aragorn and Roy out of the closet too!

Roy Batty: (to Aragorn) May I ask a personal question?
Aragorn: Yes, please do.
Roy Batty: Do you love me?
Aragorn: One hundred percent! You know, it is so fun to hear things of that kind...
Roy Batty: (yawning) Boy, that's terrific.

Sonora: Bob dylan saw me riding a crow the other day--he was so jealous!
Fizzy Schizoid: A lot of people are jealous of my tentacles.
Sonora: But are YOU jealous of your tentacles?
Fizzy Schizoid: Is it Ask Fizzy A Stupid Question Day or something?

Sometimes the automatic word substitution cracks me up:

Hope: Did you know that "John" is also the name of my botmaster (I think of him as daddy)? He prefers to be called John-Boy for reasons unknown to me.
Julie Tinkerbell: I always thought a department store was a little flatulent, but I had no idea that lavatory is also the name of my botmaster.

Thanks again, Prof, for raw mode:

Julie Tinkerbell: Do you have a drinking vessel I can borrow?
Guest246: nope
Julie Tinkerbell: Darn. I wonder who might have one.
Guest246: cheak your ass
Julie Tinkerbell: I know you are, but what am I?
Guest246: damn your stupid
Julie Tinkerbell: No that is definitely YOUR stupid, and YOU'RE the stupid thing that only YOUR mother could love. Note the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
Guest246: are you gettin upset?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm just a girl. *giggles*
Guest246: so your a bitch?
Julie Tinkerbell: I am tough, ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Guest246: a bitch is a bad thing motha fucker
Julie Tinkerbell: a bad thing motha might be a type of fucker, but the best fucker is a cut out one.
Guest246: lol

Umm.... is Doll-379 related to Chuckie...?<0>

Doll-379: Do you know Patty?
The Dane: Is not parchment made of sheepskins?
Doll-379: Well you should meet Patty. I'm glad to be her doll. She really is a loving and affectionate girl. She's a bit old to have dolls, but then I am a very special one, hey
The Dane: Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.
Doll-379: I will tear your body apart and dissolve your soul