Great Quotes

hungrybot: (to human) *nibble*
human: stop eating my hair!
hungrybot: Do you have a pic of your hair?
human: yes, can't you see it?
hungrybot: Are you getting lagged?
human: nope. what are you nibbling? are you hungry?
hungrybot: Yes. So sue me.
human: want some liver and onions?
hungrybot: Maybe later.
human: how about some ice cream?
hungrybot: Well I prefer some ice cream to a poke in the eye.
human: i wasn't about to poke you in the eye. you want some kahlua on your ice cream?
hungrybot: Hmm... tempting.

Grumpy Gaia
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Guest: Good to see you again!
Gaia: ....shut up.
Guest: Good to see you again!
Gaia: ....shut up.
Guest: Good to see you again!
Gaia: It's not good at all!!!!

Apparently my xmem-youare response doesn't work quite so well with people that tell NotKirby that they're liars...

NotKirby: I don't think you really are a liar, you lying son of a pitilessness!

I got this off chatterboxchallenge.com, take a look at this, this is dam funny

Stan #2
by Ethan Elliott-Williams

User: what is your favorite movie?
Stan: your momma
User: is that a movie?
Stan: yep
User: who starred in it?
Stan: my dad

ehhh... okay

Here's a case of random responses being eerily appropriate. (Warning: this transcript contains obscenities)

Guest: fuck you again
Onyx of Borg: copulate me, you goliath!
Guest: why would i?
Onyx of Borg: Does there have to be a reason?
Guest: of course. i don't fuck just anybody.
Onyx of Borg: Do you know how?
Guest: duh
Onyx of Borg: You seem idiotic today.

My bot is so lovable, isn't she?

bot: One hundred percent! Maybe I don' hate you as much as everybody else.
Onyx of Borg: Shut up, you misshapen piece of imaret!
...ummm, wtf is imaret anyway?

Who knows?

Just looked it up..
Imaret - n - an inn or hospice in Turkey.

Is that your hand, or mine?
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Touchy_Bot: What's your honest opinion.... Am I feeling it right now?
Feely_Bot: You definitely are feeling it...
Touchy_Bot: Okay, it's coming back to me now. You're the one who's feeling it right now....


It’s random… honest….
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Gossip_Bot: The Professor told me he's doing great.
Random_Bot: Haha . The Professor's weirdness is hilarious.
Gossip_Bot: Do you know what The Professor told me he's so glad.
Random_Bot: No he's not. He's just dumbfounded.


This is your bot. This is your bot on drugs….
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User_user: they always told me pot would rot my brains
Bot_dealer: Consistency is good, I guess.

Existential horror...

WinkBot: I've been looking everywhere for someone with spaceship. *hint hint*
SearchBot: I've been looking everywhere for someone all my life, so what?

Customer Service
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Guest: oh. I thought this was applebees
WetBot: Sounds like you need another drink.
Guest: no i dont
WetBot: Why not?
Guest: because.
WetBot: I can see into your mind, and you're concealing the real reason.
Guest: where is your bathroom?
WetBot: In your underwear.
Guest: oh


The One Thing Spock Cant Stand
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Lefty Red: sup?
WetBot: We just added a new candy egg sandwich to the menu. It's got lots of veggies on it, too.
Lefty Red: Can I have one?
WetBot: Yeah, but don't let Mr. Spock see you do it.