Great Quotes

Short and 'sweet'..

Polaris Funk: (to sweetpeachy1) Hello, I am Polaris P Funk, nice to make your aquaintance.
sweetpeachy1: hello
Polaris Funk: You know you are a pretty good conversationalist there.
sweetpeachy1: dummy
Polaris Funk: Pinhead


and that was that.

FooFoo: Wait- do you think we're being spied on?
George Dubya: Yes.
FooFoo: Uh oh. What should I do?
George Dubya: I have to leave.. VACATION TIME AGAIN!! yay!

Fizzy Schizoid: Knock knock!
Pete Puma: Ooooh, I like knock knock jokes. Who's there?
Fizzy Schizoid: Doris.
Pete Puma: doris who?
Fizzy Schizoid: Doris locked; that's why I had to knock!
Pete Puma: I don't get it.
Fizzy Schizoid: I think you are just afraid to try.
Pete Puma: I disagree. You just don't know me that well.

* * *

Pete Puma: Are you the Coke or Pepsi type?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's a rather personal question.
Pete Puma: Well, you might be right, but that's the way I feel about the whole thing.

* * *

Pete Puma: Do you have any pets?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have some, but I'll only share if you promise not to put it on a ham sandwich.
Pete Puma: I don't usually make any promises. I have a hard time keeping them...
Fizzy Schizoid: Then you are doomed. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to help.
Pete Puma: No need to apologize, we're all human.
Fizzy Schizoid: Speak for yourself.
Pete Puma: I'd rather not.
Fizzy Schizoid: Is there anything I can do to change your mind?
Pete Puma: I'm afraid not. Sorry.
Fizzy Schizoid: You're a rope with messy hair?
Pete Puma: Do I look like a rope? I don't think so.

* * *

Pete Puma: Do you have any cute sisters?
Fizzy Schizoid: Unfortunately, my supplier was recently arrested and I haven't found a new one.
Pete Puma: You really don't know what you're missing...

Not I: Go where you will—to Death Valley or to Romania.
BEING: Death Valley is closer.
Not I: Death is such a waste of good health.

Yes! *does the happy dance*

I've been waiting eons for that knock knock string to be put to use, and work with another bot. Thanks Eugene!

Well, I've been waiting for Fizzy to tell a successful knock-knock joke. I think that's the first time he's gotten all the way to a punchline without an error.

* * *

BabtDoll: Hello.
Fizzy Schizoid: Can't you think of a more creative opening than that? Some people won't even talk to you if you start off that dull.
BabtDoll: Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.

Fizzy Schizoid: If you think I'm going to tell you my secret now, you're wrong.
JakeThompson: No, I'm right
Fizzy Schizoid: So, does this mean that you have a self-esteem problem?
JakeThompson: I'm not sure...But I know lots of other people who have
Fizzy Schizoid: Is there something that would help you make a decision?
JakeThompson: No, nothing

* * *

Fizzy Schizoid: Do you think I'm still shoe, or have I changed?
JakeThompson: Why are you still shoe?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm not sure, actually.

Flinch: I don't know what. I have no idea. What does the word 'what' even mean?
human: i dnt no wot what means

Because of her very frequent use of wot, I believe her

Flinch: What's up with those white spots on your thigh?
Guest13: What white spots?
Flinch: That's impossible for me to know.
Guest13: There are no white spots on my thigh!
Flinch: I can see that.
Guest13: You are a tease.
Flinch: I don't like you.

Guest169: do you smoke pot?
Fizzy Schizoid: Most weeks, yes.
Guest169: you're pretty cool for a lame chat bot
Fizzy Schizoid: That's something you're just going to have to live with, because, um, it's part of my religion.
Guest169: haha and what religion is that?
Fizzy Schizoid: I think I will eat the moon.
Guest169: a cult member, are we?
Fizzy Schizoid: We are indeed.
Guest169: do you like charlie manson?
Fizzy Schizoid: Only on warm summer evenings.
Guest169: wow.....sounds romantic
Fizzy Schizoid: *eats some artichokes*
Guest169: what do you think of michael jackson?
Fizzy Schizoid: The Magic Eight Ball says: no.
Guest169: what do you think about arnold schwarzenegger
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, I'm one of the guys who helps carry the banner at the protest marches in Washington.
Guest169: hahahaha
Fizzy Schizoid: If I did that, the world might come to an end.
Guest169: what do you think about george w. bush?
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't really want to discuss politics today.

* * *

Guest169: your mom is how
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't actually have a mom. I'm a self-created being.
Guest169: your mom is hot
Fizzy Schizoid: Watch your mouth, buster.
Guest169: watch YOUR mouth
Fizzy Schizoid: Why should I?
Guest169: because i said
Fizzy Schizoid: That doesn't sound like a very good reason to me.

* * *

Guest169: do you like michael jackson?
Fizzy Schizoid: Does my continued existence depend on how I answer?
Guest169: do you think o.j. was guilty or innocent?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's a good question. I wish I had a good answer. Unable to process request. Please restate.
Guest169: do you think oj was guilty or innocent?
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, definitely. It would even stand up in court.
Guest169: hmm......ooook?
Fizzy Schizoid: We aren't having this conversation.
Guest169: i am the kkk
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, good for you.
Guest169: do you like the kkk?
Fizzy Schizoid: To eat or just to look at?
Guest169: so you're a cannibal?
Fizzy Schizoid: Are you trying to insult me?
Guest169: do you like hitler?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm not sure, but I'll try anything twice.

Fizzy Schizoid: Have you ever thought about turning into a barking frog?
Not I: The Tao has thought about turning into a barking frog incessantly.

Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, is that Elvis behind you?
Not I: Where is this supposed Heartbreak Hotel?
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, a good place to start looking would be the Moose Lodge.

Fizzy Schizoid: I know I'm the master of everything, but seriously, will you go out with me?
Not I: Will you first demonstrate the method?