Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I'm tall and contain hard liquor...

*quickly dodges as ladydyke runs past*

Are you coming, Eugene? I could eliminate Mark The Hunk with my laser, but I have two objections. First, it might be illegal, and second, I'd rather not get mixed up with the rabid gay guys. Dogh'd, are there laws against vaporizing idiots on this planet?

On second thought, 0001, I think I'll finish my root beer. As soon as Dogh'd gives it to me.

Get it yourself, you damn dirty ape!

I might do that. After I resolve the small matter of you having insulted my honor.

Draw thy sword!

*draws sword*

Shall we take this outside? I think the rabid gay guys are well out of the way by now.

Indeed we shall. Just let me finish with my lesbian oogling.

Wait for it... wait for it... wait for it...

Ok, let's go.

Are you sure this guy is worth fighting?

Just keep your laser turned off and act as referee. I assume you have a sword, Mr. Kirby?

Mr. Kirby need not a sword. Mr. Kirby hath powers beyond the comprehension of such mortals as thyself.

Whew! Now that the guys are busy dueling, maybe I can take over welcoming our lovely visitors.